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    1964: Chasing a Dream
    1964: Chasing a Dream
    1964: Chasing a Dream
    Ebook562 pages9 hours

    1964: Chasing a Dream

    By Carol Marlene Smith

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    About this ebook

    If you want a nostalgic ride through the sixties, come along with Marlee Sweet as she travels to the southern states on a Trailways bus. Marlee meets Joe in Halifax, Canada and is determined to visit him in his home town of New Orleans. But first she must make a stopover in New York to grow up a bit. From New Orleans to Mobile, to Montgomery then onward to Birmingham, Atlanta and finally Tennessee, it's a whirlwind of love, romance, adventure, tragedy, heartbreak, deceit and danger. From Joe's arms to a conniving Bobby Barnes, Marlee goes from girl to woman learning the ropes of life.
    Experience the reaction in Albany, New York when the President is assassinated; watch the Beatles first visit to the US on the Ed Sullivan Show; stand in awe in front of the Mardi Gras Fountain in New Orleans, and take a stroll through the French Quarter with Marlee and Joe; visit the church on Dexter Avenue in Montgomery where Martin Luther King, Jr was once a pastor; Take a walk in an African-American's shoes from the old south; eat a hotdog from Chris' in Montgomery with Marlee and Bobby; visit Napoleon House in New Orleans and have a laugh while Marlee writes poetry and a poet reads it aloud; park on Beale Street in Memphis and marvel at the statue of W.C. Handy; gaze at the now demolished but once impressive San Carlos Hotel in Pensacola, Florida; look out over the amazing view in Birmingham, while observing the Vulcan statue; and last but not least, wonder where your next dollar is going to come from, and have your dreams put on hold.
    Each day brings a new adventure and a new decision it seems. In the end it all comes down to choices, and the ones Marlee makes will change her life forever.

    1964: Chasing a Dream is the first book in the Dream Series. Book Two is Facing Reality.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherCarol Marlene Smith
    Release dateJan 13, 2012
    ISBN9781466129795
    1964: Chasing a Dream
    Author

    Carol Marlene Smith

    Carol Marlene Smith was born in Springhill, Nova Scotia on a hot August day. From an early age, writing, drawing and singing were her favourite things to do. Carol was a loner who liked to imagine her friends rather than make real ones.Today Carol spends her time writing novels and short stories and painting animals. Some of her novels are Heart of Winter, Angel's Blessing, and Heart of the Story, all set in Nova Scotia. Carol enjoys writing poetry, romance, mystery/suspense and mainstream.Carol lives in the Annapolis Valley in Nova Scotia.

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      Book preview

      1964 - Carol Marlene Smith

      1964: Chasing A Dream

      Carol Marlene Smith

      Copyright 2024 by Carol Marlene Smith

      Smashwords Edition License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting this author's work.

      ****

      THE DREAM SERIES

      1964: CHASING A DREAM

      FACING REALITY

      MISSING LINK

      AFTER GLOW

      RAGING NIGHTMARE

      Books by Carol Marlene Smith

      Angel’s Blessing

      Angel’s Retreat

      1964: Chasing A Dream

      Facing Reality

      Missing Link

      After Glow

      Court of Two Sisters

      Who Wants to Murder a Millionaire?

      Heart of Winter

      Death and Deceit

      Who’s Colleen Sutton?

      The Vampire and the Lady

      A Bunch of Short Stories

      The Positive Power of Writing

      Ruby’s Ring

      CHILDREN’S BOOKS

      The Snore Score

      Good Choices, Bad Choices

      I’m Not Different, I’m Just Me

      POETRY

      Painted Words and Music of Fire

      By the Entrance to the Harbor

      The Evolution of Me

      Old Hippie Poems

      Inner Warrior

      Rimes of an Ancient Rhymer

      Poems for Ukraine

      Train of Thought

      Table of Contents

      Prologue

      1 P.1 The Dream Begin

      2 Decisions

      3 A New Country

      4 Friends and Foes

      5 Re-Awakening Old Dreams

      6 On the Move

      7 Plans

      8 Following the Dream

      9 P. 2 - The Journey South

      10 The Dream Come True

      11 Reaching an Understanding

      12 My Own Room

      13 The Present and the Past

      14 Job Opportunities

      15 The Request

      16 P. 3 – A New Experience

      17 Montgomery

      18 A New Acquaintance

      19 Friends

      20 Pensacola

      21 Perils and Periodicals

      22 Learning his Ways

      23 Memphis

      24 A Cry for Help

      25 Return to Freedom

      26 P. 4 – Over the Hump

      27 Lovers

      28 Promises

      29 The Dreamless Journey

      Epilogue

      PROLOGUE

      June, 1963

      Dear Diary,

      I can’t sleep. The hot weather makes my head hurt. But more than the heat got me out of bed to write tonight and I don’t know what it is. Some yearning inside is haunting me. Dana’s out again. She’s dating a midshipman this time, and they’ve gone to a ship’s ball. She’s been to them before, and I’m sure she’ll describe the whole thing to me in great detail next time I see her.

      Maybe that’s it. Maybe I wish I were Dana, or at least wish I were at that party with a handsome midshipman. Oh, to be like Dana. She never has a problem with words. When I’m on a date, I clam up. I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing and my date won’t ask me out again. But that fails too, because then he thinks I’m boring and never asks me out again anyway.

      I envy my friends, the ones who’ve found someone and are already married. Some even have kids. It must be wonderful to have your own home, your own sink and dishes, your own table and chairs, your own bed...and your own lover.

      I don’t think I will ever have those things, things that fall so easily into some girls’ laps. I just wish I didn’t feel so alone, but writing makes me feel better. It’s like pouring out my heart to a good friend and feeling the comfort of closeness, or that’s how I suppose it feels. I’ve never told anyone my greatest desires or deepest secrets. You, dear diary, are the only one I confide in.

      If I could make a wish and have it come true, I would wish for a lover who loved only me. One I could tell my deepest, darkest secrets to and know he would never forsake me. My mother says I should be a poet with my silly romantic notions, but I’m giving up writing poems. They’re a hopeless waste of time. She wants me to go to Teachers’ College, like my sister Grace. She teaches English now and she’s married too. Grace has everything. She’s everything I’ll never be.

      I don’t know what I want. I’m lost. But I write stories in my mind and play them out. In them, I’m the heroine and my hero saves me from a life of misery. Of course, I help him out too. We are a team, that handsome guy and me. We meet on the scorching summer sand and walk across the beach until the sun sinks into another part of the world. Then he kisses me and we fall to the ground and…the rest I can’t write here. What if my mother ever found this? But you know what comes next, I’m sure.

      Am I boring you? Well, I’m a truly boring person as you have found out by now, that’s why I’ve decided not to write here anymore. My dreams and hopes are all so futile. I just know I will never be like Dana. I will never be like Grace. I will never have the wonderful green thumb like my sister, Rose. I will never have the patience of my mother or the strong singing voice of my father. I will never be great at anything. I fear that I will never be loved.

      Love is everything...Lord Byron said it best: With thee all tales are sweet; each clime has charms; earth, sea alike, our world within our arms.

      PART ONE

      CHAPTER ONE

      The Dream Begins

      Love is the enchanted dawn of every heart. --Alphonse De Lamartine

      You’ll be back, he says to me for the umpteenth time. I look up, knowing he will finally see my tears, not knowing I will see his.

      I’ll miss you, I admit, in a faltering voice.

      Then don’t go, he shoots back from across the table. Our words slip and slide getting us nowhere.

      The station’s PA speaker blares out my destination. I scrape back my chair, rise and reach for the thick, white coffee cup. He does the same. We walk our cups to the counter then join the line-up. A familiar shiver slides down my spine, as his hand presses against my shoulder. I turn and gaze up into his blue eyes.

      Don’t go, he whispers hoarsely. My mind races back through time, through all that we had been to each other. There’s still time to turn back, but no, I’m at the bus door. It’s too late.

      Resignedly, I climb onto the bus. Half-way down the narrow aisle, I take a window seat on the left. I must have that last look. One more time his eyes pierce mine. He waves hesitantly and mouths, I love you. I smile at his disappearing face as the bus pulls away from the station.

      My heart wrenches. Yesterday I had left Joe in New Orleans; today, in Memphis, it’s Bobby’s turn. I care for them both but they are smothering me. Too late, I realize that whatever you do there’s a price to pay. Tears sting my face and float across my eyes distorting the images before me. In the warm autumn glow of the early Memphis evening, I feel as cold as death. Although uncertain about returning to Canada, I seem to be finished here. The bus rocks oppressively, jarring me back in time, back where it all began just over a year ago.

      ****

      July 01, 1963: (Dominion Day) Halifax, Nova Scotia

      I met Joe on a dare. Halifax was in a heat wave and the best place to be on a holiday afternoon was at the beach in Point Pleasant Park.

      It’s too damn hot, Dana complained. I cringed, wishing she would not swear.

      It was one thing I didn’t like about her. It’s even hotter than yesterday, almost too hot for clothes, I replied lifelessly.

      Dana giggled. You’ve got a point. She pulled off her white T-shirt, her breasts spilling out of her tiny red bikini top. How about you? Wanna strip?

      She grinned, taunting me, knowing very well that I would never take my blouse off until I reached the proper place...the beach.

      Not really, I replied.

      Dana laughed. You’re such a prude, Marlee.

      It was too hot to argue. It was too hot to even talk. The sun reigned over the cloudless sky looking almost metallic through my dark glasses. It was one of those days when the air seemed reluctant to move. Sunbeams glittered on the intense blue of the water, and ostentatious seagulls swooped boldly down looking for a meal. All in all, the afternoon shimmered.

      Suddenly Dana caught a stone on the toe of her white sneaker and pitched it into the ditch. Pouting, she declared, God, I’m bored.

      I swallowed dryly, wishing I had something cold to drink and wondered if she was bored with me. Dana’s relationship with Kenny, the midshipman, was over and for the past two weeks she’d been restless. I looked over at my good friend, still scowling and scuffing her feet in the dirt. She had certainly tried her best to introduce me to her friends and find me dates. But I was impossible. If only I’d had her knack of conversation, her charm that turned guys on, causing them to gaze dreamily into her eyes. I sighed, knowing I had none of those qualities.

      Dana eyed me sullenly as we rounded a curve overlooking the harbour, then suddenly her face brightened. I’ve got a terrific idea. The American ships are in port, let’s get ourselves some sailors.

      I hesitated. I dunno, Dana. Let’s just go to the beach, it’s getting late.

      Dana paid little attention to my lack of enthusiasm to her plan. Instead, she stopped short and I was almost thrown aback. Her right arm flew across my chest, as if she were saving me from running headlong into some impending disaster. Her smoky grey eyes scoured the waterfront like a hungry lioness in pursuit of a meal. They finally rested on a distant pier.

      Like those guys over there, for example. They look so depressed.

      All I could see were two guys sitting on a pier looking in the water. How can you tell they’re depressed from here? She pulled her pink-framed sunglasses off her forehead and brought them to rest over her curious eyes. "Trust me. They need us."

      I gave a long sigh. Come on, Dana, this is ridiculous. It’s getting late and before long the sun will be losing its strength and we’ll not get any tan today.

      Yeah, yeah, Dana replied impatiently. So what? We can do that any day. I’m going over there. Come on.

      But, Dana…

      She stopped in front of me, jammed her hands on her hips and looked me in the eye. Well, I’m going, with or without you. I just told you I was bored, didn’t I?

      Yes, but —

      But, nothing, are you coming or not? Or...are you chicken? By now she was ahead of me moving swiftly towards her destination, her hips swaying from side to side in her tight shorts. Resignedly, I followed behind her listening to her mutter, They’d better be worth it after this long walk.

      When we arrived at the dock, sticky and hot without a passing breeze to cool us, Dana nudged me in the ribs. American sailors, she whispered in her worldly way.

      I had to admit they did look forlorn, hunched on the wharf gazing into the water, totally unaware of our advancement towards them. Dana approached the one on her right, and I walked timidly up to the other one.

      Dana smiled at her prey and started a conversation. The other guy turned to notice me. I wanted so badly to speak, to laugh easily and plunge into a conversation like Dana, but my voice got trapped in my throat. My face felt like it was forever frozen into a half smile, half grimace. He looked at me curiously, then a smile like a burst of sunlight on a dark, sullen day, spread across his handsome face. Relief spread through me like wildfire and something warm and exciting stirred deep inside me, but I couldn’t identify the feeling.

      He rose, towering over me, and extended his right hand. Hi, I’m Joe...Joe Fontaine.

      I placed my hand into his and felt it disappear. I wondered if I should squeeze or not, but he squeezed first, giving me goose-bumps. I’m Marlee Sweet, I said, pushing my sunglasses onto my forehead.

      His brown eyes flitted up and down my body. You live up to your name. A grin twisted the corners of his mouth upward so I could see a dimple appear in his left cheek. A hot wave swept through my stomach, as he turned to his friend.

      Hey, Hank, this is Marlee Sweet. Marlee…Hank Miles…and… He looked at Dana inquisitively.

      I glanced over at Hank. He was tall and not bad looking. He had dark hair like Joe, but he had blue eyes. He greeted me then turned towards Dana. This is Dana, he told Joe.

      It was the first time I had ever seen Dana tongue-tied. She stared at Joe for a long moment before she finally said, Dana Kelly. Then she shook his outstretched hand. Her long dark hair cascaded over one eye as she did so. She brushed it back and smiled at him seductively. Dana was weaving her magic. She wanted him, no doubt in my mind about that.

      But Joe slowly pulled his hand from hers and turned back to me, flashing another big smile. So, where y’all off to? he asked.

      Before I had a chance to reply, Dana batted her long lashes at him. We’re heading for the beach. Why don’t y’all join us? she drawled, mocking his accent.

      Joe’s eyes twinkled at her. We’d love to, he said apologetically, But we’ve got duty back on the ship. He turned back to me. Would y’all like to see her?

      I looked at Dana who was still making cow eyes at Joe. I’d never put a foot on a real ship before, just fishing boats, but I knew Dana was familiar with many ships from the parties she’d gone to. She nodded in agreement and we walked towards the ships.

      ****

      The USS Intrepid, or as Joe called it, the Fighting 1, was a

      huge aircraft carrier. As we stepped aboard, I caught the scent of oil and gas. Joe told me it was jet fuel that I smelled. He said I had an acute nose. He then turned it into a joke and said I also had a cute nose. I couldn’t speak. I just looked up at him and felt the heat rise over my face. According to Joe, the ship was over eight hundred feet long and could travel up to 33 knots. It’s an Essex aircraft carrier, he said.

      I loved the sound of his voice so much that I didn’t want him to ever stop talking. My heart pounded and there was a quiver in my voice when I asked him what that meant.

      It means she’s of the short hull group, launched in April, 1943, he stated quickly, as if he had rehearsed the entire history of the ship.

      The year I was born, I thought then tried to think of something smart to say. Oh, so she’s a war ship? I asked, as if I knew what I was talking about. I even made sure to call the ship a she, as I knew that was the proper thing to do. Even my father called his fishing boat, The Blessed One, a she.

      Joe nodded and smiled down at me, as we walked across the flight deck watching a crowd of people hover around a helicopter. Like I told you earlier, this old girl is quite famous. Because of her stamina throughout major bomb hits in the Pacific during World War II, she got named the Fighting 1. She sunk many vessels, including two Japanese battleships. I could go on and on about her combat record, but I think I might bore you a little.

      Once I’d finally looked up into his captivating brown eyes, I found it was hard to turn away. Oh, you’re not boring me, I stated truthfully, for it really didn’t matter to me what Joe was talking about, his southern drawn was lulling me into a dream-like fancy.

      We moved below the flight deck to what Joe called the hanger bay, where there were a great many airplanes lined up. As he talked about the Battle for Leyte Gulf in October 1944, and the Intrepid being a NASA Prime Recovery Ship for the space program, my mind began to wander. I couldn’t take my eyes off the little black curls that clung to the band of his sailor’s cap, and my fingers itched to touch them.

      Trying to focus on the lecture Joe was giving, I gazed around at the numerous pieces of machinery and equipment. I was about to make some kind of hopefully intelligent remark about what I was seeing, when Joe took my arm and guided me onward towards a large mess deck that looked like the biggest cafeteria I had ever seen. Hank and Dana were right behind us. I didn’t realize this until I heard Dana talking about the many stores on the ship. She was hinting for Hank to buy her something, but Hank didn’t take the bait.

      I can’t believe all this, I said turning to Joe, after I had stared at all the stores. Joe laughed as his hand slid down my arm and took my hand into his. It’s pretty self-contained. We have our own power plant and even our own water plant. What do you think of that? By now, I was so in awe of everything that I just continued to stare at Joe. Then, from some far-off distance it seemed, I heard my name being called.

      Marlee, how do you like the ship? I turned in a semi-circle losing the feel of Joe’s hand in mine, as I realized it was Hank speaking to me.

      The ship? Oh, I said, my cheeks warming, I absolutely love it.

      Hank laughed, replying glibly, "You seem very enamored of something...are you sure it’s the ship?"

      I looked over at Joe, but he was looking as amused and entertained as Hank and Dana. My palms coiled inward, now damp with perspiration, but Joe rescued me. Marlee has been asking me many interesting questions.

      I knew I hadn’t asked him anything intelligent, how could I? My mind was mush. But I felt relieved and grateful for his help, and my embarrassing moment passed. Hank and Joe had to get back to work, so we agreed to meet later after they were off duty. Dana and I headed off to the beach, both in a great mood.

      Although the beach was crowded, we managed to find a spot to lay out our beach towels. Dana pinned up her long brown hair, rubbed herself well with suntan oil and stretched out her beach towel. Well? She grinned, squinting at me. You like him, don’t you?

      Yeah. I sighed longingly and my wistfulness embarrassed me. I straightened up and threw my shoulders back in a more serious position. He seems nice...and he’s kinda cute, I said, focusing my gaze on the glittering water so I wouldn’t have to look at Dana’s face.

      Cute? Dana articulated. He’s magnificent. She sighed. If only I’d gotten to him first...but then again, he’s crazy about you.

      That’s ridiculous, I said loudly. I looked around but no one seemed interested in our conversation. I lowered my voice to a whisper and informed her, He’s not crazy about me. He was just being polite. He probably won’t even show up later. But when I spoke the words, I felt I might suffocate if I didn’t get to see him again.

      Dana and I settled down for some serious tanning, but my mind wasn’t on getting toasted. An eternity passed and I worried that they wouldn’t show. Dana, however, insisted she could tell that Joe liked me, and that I was lucky to have grabbed the good-looking one.

      What’s wrong with Hank? I asked. Before she could answer, I spied them walking towards us on the beach road. I looked Hank over once again. His hair was thick and curly with a dip-like wave at the front, and his eyes were friendly, like a puppy’s. I could see what Dana meant though. Hank was cute but Joe was handsome.

      I see you had no trouble finding us, Dana cooed.

      Of course not, Hank answered. It’s easy to spot two gorgeous little shrimps. He slid onto the beach towel next to Dana and playfully touched her hair.

      Shrimps, eh? Dana shoved Hank and threw sand in his face. This caused Hank to jump up and lift Dana into his arms, pretending he was going to throw her into the water. Dana screamed and laughed, and I turned away from the other sun worshippers, who were staring at the frolicking couple.

      My eyes met Joe’s, and I wondered if he knew I had been avoiding him. He didn’t seem to as he asked quickly, Want to walk to the canteen? I need smokes desperately.

      Sure, I answered, still amazed that I was getting his attention instead of Dana.

      Suddenly, I realized I was standing before him in my bikini, and although it was sticky-hot, I felt naked. I reached down and snatched up my blouse and pulled it over the top of my bathing suit.

      When we walked down the dirt road, I glanced at Joe’s dark face trickled with sweat. You must be hot in that heavy uniform, I said, smiling up at him.

      He threw his head back and laughed easily. You call this hot? You should spend a summer day in New Orleans.

      Oh, you’re from New Orleans? I asked excitedly. New Orleans had always been a special place to me. In fact, the entire southland was like some magical place that I doubted I would ever get to see.

      You guessed it, he replied, seeming to study me intently for a minute. Then he clasped my hand in his.

      My heart jumped into my throat and began thumping so rapidly, I feared my whole chest would explode. I found myself gasping for breath as if I’d been running a marathon. We walked on in silence; my whole concentration was on getting my breathing under control and at the same time enjoying the exhilarating feeling of his warm hand in mind. I felt sure that he must hear the thump of my heart.

      At the canteen, he released my hand and started digging for change. I gazed at him, touching my fingers at the same time. The same fingers that had just been squeezed by his, and I felt robbed of something special.

      He bought cigarettes and we ordered fries and cold drinks, then we walked back to the beach. We both carried the food, and I resented our busy hands because he couldn’t hold mine as before.

      Are you from Halifax? he inquired softly.

      No, Cape Lochland…it’s a fishing village on the Northumberland Strait.

      Is it far from here?

      About a hundred miles.

      So, do you like Halifax?

      I could feel his eyes on me, even though I avoided his, and I grew hotter. Yes. Dana and I grew up together, but she quit school in grade ten. She suggested I come here after graduation.

      And do you always listen to Dana?

      No. My voice rose a pitch and I giggled nervously.

      How old are you? he asked. Are you sixteen? Seventeen?

      I’m almost twenty, I heard myself answer defensively.

      And is Dana the same age?

      No, I said, wondering why he was so interested in her. She’s older. Did he really like her better than me?

      I’m almost twenty-one, he said, continuing with his questions. What do you do?

      I clenched the cold pop bottles in my sweaty hands. I’m just a cashier, I replied.

      He laughed again. Well...I’m just a sailor.

      For a minute I relaxed and laughed with him. Dana and Hank were also sharing a laugh when we returned. They were both occupying the narrow beach towel and Hank was rubbing oil on Dana’s shoulders. She was gazing at him seductively. How I envied her composure.

      While we ate, I learned that Hank was also from Louisiana, but he and Joe hadn’t known each other before they met in the Navy. When all the food was consumed, Hank jumped up and picked up the empty cartons. Come on, Dana, he said. Let’s find a trash can.

      They walked up the beach road and Dana’s laughter floated back through the hot afternoon air. I stared after them, envious of her every move. How could she be so cool? I glanced back at Joe, and he was looking directly at me.

      Are you nervous? he asked, in that soft southern drawl. You look kinda tense. Are you afraid of me?

      I’m certainly not, I blurted. Are you analyzing me?

      He burst out laughing. Of course I am. Now don’t tell me you’re not doing the same thing to me?

      No. I’m not, I stammered and swallowed dryly, my throat feeling like a piece of parchment paper. My face was hot and I avoided looking at him. Although the sun’s power was waning, it seemed the rays had reached out and seared me. I wanted to run away but I couldn’t move.

      I didn’t mean to offend you, he said, while I stared at my hands.

      It’s okay...you didn’t, I managed to utter, still unable to look at him. I dug my toes into the sand and took a deep breath.

      Suddenly Joe nudged up to me. He placed two fingers under my chin and tilted my face towards his. Look at me, he said. You’re mad at me, aren’t you?

      No, I protested. I’m not mad at you. I shook my head free from his hold and jumped up. I peeled off my blouse and picked my way across the rocks. My plunge into the cold Atlantic water was refreshing, and I felt cool for the first time since I’d met him.

      He was standing at the water’s edge with folded arms and grinning at me, when I popped up from my swim. Come on in, I called, feeling the safety in distance.

      I’d be in deep shit if I got this wet, he yelled, pinching the shoulder of his uniform.

      I rushed out of the water when I saw Dana and Hank coming towards us. Dana threw me a lop-sided grin. You’re brave today, Marlee. She was reminding me with her eyes that I usually hated the ocean’s frigidness.

      Hank chased after Dana, pretending once again that he was going to throw her into the waves. I was relieved that they were back. Being alone with Joe had been nerve-wracking. As I walked up to Joe on the rocks holding my hands in front of my chest to cover my bikini top, he told me he had to get back to the ship. He turned and yelled at Hank to hurry up.

      Turning back to me his face sobered. Can I see you again? he asked, taking both my hands in his. But before I could answer, Hank and Dana breathlessly returned.

      I’ve invited Hank to my place tomorrow night, Dana informed us. Want to make it a foursome? She looked at Joe, then me.

      Joe seemed relieved by Dana’s intervention. It’s fine with me, he agreed.

      Me too, I added.

      We all walked down the beach road towards the ships. Joe looked at his watch. I wish we could see y’all home, but —

      That’s okay, Joe. Dana laughed. We know our way home.

      We said goodbye and walked on in silence, occasionally turning to wave as they grew smaller in the distance. They were now reduced to the small figures that we had earlier seen sitting on the dock staring into the water. But now we knew them. They were no longer strangers, and I, for one, was feeling like I’d never be the same again.

      ****

      On Tuesday at six-thirty, I rushed home from work and almost crashed into Dana on the stairs. Dana and I lived in the same rooming house, and we had rooms across from each other.

      Hank and Joe can’t come, she informed me. They got duty.

      My heart sank. All day I’d been dreaming of seeing Joe. I’d been in such a good mood, now I wasn’t going to see him.

      Cheer up, Marlee. Dana’s voice was upbeat, as if she didn’t have a care in the world. They’re coming tomorrow night.

      That’s fine, I said, pretending it didn’t matter that much, but in my heart, I wondered how I’d get through the night and another day. Dana saw through me though and she tried to keep me busy. She suggested we go out to eat and see a movie. Later, we shampooed our hair and listened to records at Dana’s place while it dried. Then I went to my room.

      After work the next day, I went straight to Dana’s room. Her place was larger than mine, giving her room for a sofa as well as a bed.

      Okay. Dana grinned devilishly. We’re gonna transform you. Pick anything. She gestured towards her closet.

      "I can’t wear your clothes, Dana. I’ll find something.

      Like what? Dana knew I didn’t have many dresses. I always wore a uniform to work, and on my salary, there wasn’t much left after the rent and food.

      Dana opened the wooden door. She pulled out a sexy looking red dress and held it up to me. Perfect, she said satisfactorily.

      I can’t wear that, Dana. It… clashes with my hair.

      Oh, God, what I wouldn’t give to have that red hair. It’s just like Rita Hayworth’s. She turned, undaunted, and yanked a blue dress from its hanger. This one. It matches your eyes. I’ll wear the red one.

      I slipped off my uniform and pulled the blue dress over my head. I liked the high neckline and the loose skirt. It felt comfortable and it wasn’t revealing, like the red one.

      Not bad, Dana said, walking around me with her arms folded and one finger pursed on her bottom lip. The bodice shows of your teensy-weensy waist. And that’s good.

      I brushed my hair, while Dana dressed and put on her make-up.

      Okay, she said. It’s your turn now. Sit down. She outlined my eyes with a dark pencil then filled out my brows with soft, gentle strokes of a light brown pencil. Now, put this on. She pointed to the lipstick and mascara on the dresser.

      She watched me intently, giving out pointers as I swabbed my eyes with the dark mascara. When I’d finished, I leaned forward and looked at myself in the mirror...such bright red lips, I had always worn pink...and my eyes...my jaw dropped open and Dana giggled. You’re gorgeous, she said, standing back to admire her creation. You have such beautiful eyes and those lashes are amazing.

      By the time Joe and Hank arrived, we had prepared plates of sandwiches, bowls of chips, and drinks. At the door, Hank passed a bottle of liquor to Dana, and Joe just stared at me as if he were seeing me for the first time. I stared back at him, my fingers frozen around a chip. Dana’s melodic voice rang through the room, as she stood on her tip toes and gave Hank a long kiss on the mouth.

      Joe walked towards me and my legs grew weak. I backed up slowly and sank into the sofa behind me. Joe sat down, so close to me I could feel his body heat. One arm curved around my shoulder, as he proceeded to tell me how much older I looked.

      I bit my lip while searching for words…intelligent words, like the kind I was hearing coming out of Dana’s mouth, as she and Hank began to dance. Joe never asked me to dance and I was relieved. I watched Dana skillfully maneuvering her steps. If only I were half as good. When the record ended, Dana called me aside and dragged me down the hall to the bathroom.

      Why don’t you take Joe over and show him your room? she suggested.

      Horrified, I replied, Oh, I can’t do that, Dana.

      Come on. Hank and I would like a little privacy…yah know?

      Well...if Joe agrees, I said, still not wanting to do it but feeling pressured into it by Dana.

      She laughed knowingly. He’ll agree all right. I’ve yet to see a sailor who wouldn’t.

      Although I tried, I couldn’t ask Joe. Finally, Dana blurted, Why don’t you show Joe your room, Marlee? It’s so much prettier than mine. You have a knack of placing things.

      Joe jumped up from the sofa. Sure, let’s go. He’d gotten Dana’s message loud and clear.

      When we reached my door, I struggled with the key, all the time wondering how I’d left my room. I would die if he saw anything personal lying around. The lock clicked and so did an idea. I turned to Joe and smiled as sweetly as I could, while placing my keys into his hand. Would you mind running downstairs and checking my mail? I forgot to pick it up tonight.

      He willingly obliged, and I stepped inside to make a quick inspection. To my horror a bra lay on the bed. I heard Joe’s footsteps on the stairs and shoved it under the bed. He appeared in the doorway as I was tucking the bra beneath the bed skirt. I sat demurely pretending to scratch my foot.

      He looked around. Nice room. Dana was right. He sauntered towards the bed and sat beside me, gazing from the pink and white flowered walls to the pink bedspread. He turned to me. Here’s your mail.

      Our hands met as I took the letters. I chucked them on the night stand. No mail could be as important to me as he was right then. As I leaned back, his right arm slipped around my waist. His left arm circled my neck as he drew me against him. I quivered in the silence that followed. Then he whispered, You’re shaking. He loosened his embrace just enough for me to turn and face him. His breath caressed my lips as we sat, eye to eye. My tremors subsided as I felt a cozy warmth spread through me.

      Looking deeply into my eyes, he whispered, You’ve got angel eyes. Then his lips were on mine. Our lips pressed harder, his tongue gently searching out mine. He leaned against me, driving me down onto the bed. I accepted his kisses, hungry for his touch.

      His hand caressed my breasts then he left them to fumble with the zipper at the back of my dress. He pressed himself against my trembling thigh. I gasped as I realized what was happening. I could feel his reaction, right through his thick uniform. I balked and pushed away from him, my heart hammering. He looked at me, puzzled. Hey, what’s wrong? I thought you wanted me.

      I bounded from the bed. I was speechless...confused, for I had liked it when he touched me. I had wanted him, but it now seemed all wrong. Joe saw my anguish. He sat up and lit a cigarette, while I straightened my clothes. He drew the smoke deeply into his lungs then blew out with a sigh. I’m sorry, Marlee. I’m just being a sailor. Put on the uniform and live the life.

      No, it was all my fault. I led you on. I turned tear-filled eyes his way. I didn’t mean to. I don’t date a lot… I turned away feeling ashamed and dirty.

      He came up behind me. Are you serious? he said incredulously. My cheeks were on fire and I went into my clam-up, refusing to face him. My hands froze into fists, so tight they hurt. His arm rested on my shoulder, and he guided me back to the bed. Look at me, he urged gently. Slowly I turned his way. His brow furrowed as he brushed back a strand of hair that had strayed over my forehead. You’re a virgin?

      Yes. My voice came out husky and I stared at my feet.

      I can’t believe it. You’re twenty?

      Don’t make fun of me.

      Joe pulled back, raising one hand in front of him. I’m not doing that, he said, soberly. I think it’s honourable...but surprising. How do you do it? I mean, you’re so...sensual."

      It’s not that hard, I said, daring to look into his eyes. I never get beyond the first date. I guess I’m too boring to bother with.

      He scowled. That’s ridiculous. I find you interesting and different. He held my hand and his felt warm and caring. I’ve enjoyed your company tonight, Marlee. It gets lonely sometimes, being at sea so much...and the ports, well, it’s fun to have the liberty, to see new places, but, it’s kind of artificial.

      His eyes looked sad as he held my gaze. What do you mean, it’s artificial? How? I asked.

      He leaned back and looked thoughtful. What I mean, I suppose, is that you meet a lot of people, lots of girls, but you know you’ll never see them again. So, it doesn’t matter much if you impress them or not, unless you want to get laid. And with a lot of them an impression is not a priority. But Halifax has been different for me. Not only is it my first time in a Canadian port, but finally I’ve met someone challenging.

      You can’t be talking about me, Joe, I said earnestly.

      Well, now you know I am, Marlee.

      I relaxed slightly and Joe took the opportunity to jump up and suggest we go back to rejoin Dana and Hank. The door was locked and Joe and I looked at each other. I think we were both wondering the same thing. Were they doing it? We waited a few minutes then turned to go back to my room just as Dana yanked the door open. When we walked in Hank was eating, and I breathed a sigh of relief that we were finally all back together again.

      How about a drink, Marlee? Hank handed me a concoction he had just stirred up. It was strong and sickening, but I kept sipping it. It wasn’t long before the sandwiches had disappeared, and Dana and Hank were dancing again.

      Joe noticed my glass still three-quarters full. You don’t look too happy with that drink, Marlee. Would you prefer a soft drink?

      Yes, I said. This one’s terrible.

      He handed me a pop and I thanked him with a smile. Although I scarcely knew him, he seemed sensitive and caring. I noticed a comfortable feeling growing inside me. I leaned back against the sofa and closed my eyes, listening to Martha and the Vandellas singing Quicksand. Suddenly, I felt him take the pop from my hand. When I opened my eyes, his face was so near, I thought he would kiss me.

      Instead, he drawled, We’ve got to go. There’s a curfew. I’ve got to get Hank out of here, if Dana will let him go.

      But still, he didn’t make a move. Our eyes locked a split second and something magical occurred, at least for me, but I sensed he felt it too. I stopped breathing. It seemed unnecessary at that moment in time. The room disappeared, along with Dana and Hank. I no longer heard Dana’s laugh, or the music. There was only Joe and me, in eternity or somewhere. Then it was over, the moment passed, and Joe was asking me to meet him the following evening downtown.

      You pick the place, he said.

      Wanting to be with Joe in a beautiful setting, I suggested we meet at the Public Gardens. Joe agreed.

      Now, will you please help me break those two apart? Joe said, and smiled. We rose from the sofa and walked towards Dana and Hank still dancing. Dana had drunk too much and she kept hanging on, but Hank finally pulled away and he and Joe left. I made coffee and busied myself by straightening and cleaning things up.

      After I’d cleaned away all the bowls and dishes, I offered Dana coffee. She sat on the sofa holding her head as if she had a giant headache. Damn, I’m tired, she slurred, slurping her coffee. I gotta pee, she announced. She slid her cup onto the coffee table and zigzagged out of the room.

      I waited until she returned then I went to the bathroom. I washed up and glanced in the mirror noticing my red lipstick had faded away.

      The next day work seemed never ending. I made a lot of silly mistakes, while being preoccupied with Joe and counting the hours until I would see him again. At six thirty, I hurried from the bus stop and took the rooming house stairs two at a time. I threw together a sandwich, hardly tasting it. I washed it all down with milk then got in the shower. After I shampooed my hair and brushed it until it was almost dry, I felt the day’s pressures release from inside me. I made it to the wrought-iron garden gates just a nick before my promised time to meet Joe. He was already there. He greeted me with his great smile. I was just reading about your park. It’s almost a hundred years old.

      He seemed impressed and I was glad. It’s supposed to be the oldest Victorian gardens in North America…and I think I remember somewhere reading that there are trees and flowers from all around the world growing here.

      No kidding? Halifax is a nice city. I spent the afternoon just walking around downtown.

      I was eager to share my knowledge of the city with him. Too bad we hadn’t more time to walk around yesterday. There’s a fort at Black Rock...that’s the beach where we met. It’s called Martello Tower…and a dead sailor’s memorial.

      Hah, he cracked. I’d like to see that.

      He reached out and took my hand and we strolled into the park. Around us a few interlaced couples strolled down the paths and sat on the benches.

      I’m glad you suggested we meet here, Joe said. As he clasped my hand, I sensed a current of pleasure flowing between our fingers. But the pleasure was edged with sadness, because I knew too soon, he would leave me.

      We paused at a small lily pond spanned by a tiny bridge. We laughed and watched the ducks beg for crumbs from passers-by and stand on their heads in the murky water. He squeezed my hand again, as we turned from the bridge and walked to a nearby bench. The wind had picked up, and I shrugged my shoulders in a shiver. I wore only a sun dress with spaghetti straps.

      He protectively pulled me close to him, and we sat for an endless time, barely speaking, just watching the sun’s rays spread across the park. It was like a fairy-tale setting, and I was glad I had thought of going there.

      Hank felt bad that he couldn’t see Dana tonight, he said finally.

      Well, she’s a waitress, I said. She works shifts, and that includes a lot of night work. She makes good tips though.

      Joe turned silent again and I ventured to say what had continued to be on my mind. Silly as it was, I couldn’t help but feel inferior to Dana. When we first met, I thought you might like Dana better than me, I told him.

      Joe’s eyes looked stern and serious as he turned my way. As far as Dana goes, she’s pretty enough, very desirable, I suppose, but I’ve met lots of girls like her. I caught his pensive expression as he paused and gazed about the pond, glimpsing the first of the evening’s twinkling stars. "Back home, I left a problem I can’t forget. I was dating a girl and she got pregnant. When she told me, I wanted to marry her. I wanted to do what was right, but my mother said I shouldn’t. She convinced me I might not be the baby’s father, and even if I was, she thought I was too young to get married. She urged me to go into the Navy.

      The last time I was home, I learned that the girl’s whole family hates me. I tried to find out where she was, but no one would tell me. I’m just sick, Marlee. When I met you, the whole thing came tumbling back. To think we might have made love last night, and you, trusting in me, might have gotten pregnant. What kind of person am I anyway?

      I had sat quietly all through his long confession, mainly because I was so shocked, so disappointed in him. But when he came to his conclusion and spoke of our time together and how he was so regretful of it all, I suddenly felt sorry for him. An overwhelming surge of love flowed through me. I wanted to comfort him. But we didn’t make love, Joe. It’s all right, I told him. Then I thought of her, the girl who he had made love to. What was she going through now? I looked at his anguished face. What are you going to do about her, Joe?

      I don’t know. I’ll be out of the Navy soon, and when I go home, maybe I’ll try to find her.

      My heart sank. Are you going to marry her?

      He looked perplexed and dug into his jumper pocket for a cigarette. The sun’s rays merged into the night shadows. The moon rose over hovering dark trees, and the little pond shone like a mirror in front of us. He lit his cigarette and shook the match vigorously, then tossed it to the ground. He took a long drag, his eyes turning stern and serious in the semi-darkness. I don’t know…to think I might have a kid out there somewhere…. He turned to me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought all this up. Don’t ever try to be like Dana. Just be yourself.

      I stood abruptly rubbing my chilly arms. He stood also and put his hands on my shoulders. He looked deeply into my eyes causing my stomach to feel weak and empty.

      I’m going to miss you, Marlee. Why did we have to meet now…like this? He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. His

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