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    News Muse: Humorous Poems Inspired by Strange News
    News Muse: Humorous Poems Inspired by Strange News
    News Muse: Humorous Poems Inspired by Strange News
    Ebook116 pages1 hour

    News Muse: Humorous Poems Inspired by Strange News

    By Vala Hafstad

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    About this ebook

    News Muse is a collection of news-related, humorous poems. The author seeks out unusual news from all around the world, which inspires her to write poems full of humor, rhythm and rhyme. In every poem, she plays with words and twists the meaning of the original story. The subject matter is as diverse as the news. One poem describes the text message of a desperate cow to her beloved; another tells the story of a tourist who participates in the search for herself in Iceland. There are poems about animals in unexpected roles, complicated relationships, dubious diets, death and disease, divine experience in surprising surroundings, unconventional trips and outrageous shopping experiences—anything but the ordinary. Every poem is followed by a link to the inspiring article—the news muse herself.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherVala Hafstad
    Release dateFeb 11, 2014
    ISBN9789979725381
    News Muse: Humorous Poems Inspired by Strange News
    Author

    Vala Hafstad

    Born in Iceland, Vala Hafstad majored in English at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and holds a master’s degree in English from the University of Washington. She has spent most of her adult life in the United States, mainly in Minnesota. News Muse is Hafstad’s first book, but many of her poems have been published on Poetry24, a news-related poetry website, as well as in literary journals in Iceland and Canada. She is a columnist for Iceland Review Online.

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      Book preview

      News Muse - Vala Hafstad

      There once was a powerful lord.

      There’s nothing he couldn’t afford.

      His daughter was fair as can be;

      On that every man did agree.

      The suitors lined up at their gate.

      For hours, they’d patiently wait,

      But Beauty would all of them shun

      And say, Of those men I’ll have none.

      The father came up with a plan

      And said, "I will promise the man

      Who woos and wins over my girl

      A treasure befitting an earl.

      He need not be wealthy or smart,

      Or skillful in music or art.

      He may not be handsome or tall—

      Just someone for whom she will fall.

      I’ll offer him diamonds and gold

      I’ve earned from the stocks I have sold.

      My daughter deserves a good man.

      To help her, I’ll do what I can."

      The daughter said, "Give me a break.

      I can’t lead a life that is fake.

      There won’t be a man in my life.

      I’m leaving and so is my wife."

      And that is the end of the tale.

      The daughter, no doubt, did prevail.

      Her father let out a big sigh:

      I guess there are things you can’t buy.

      BBC News: "Hong Kong tycoon recruits husband for lesbian daughter."

      26 September 2012.

      Back to top

      APP TRAP

      A study in Iceland has shown

      That dating depends on your phone.

      Avoid an incestuous trap

      By using this ancestry app.

      Your cousin is cute as can be,

      But close on the family tree.

      Don’t kiss her or catch with your charm—

      The app will just sound an alarm.

      My friend, please be careful and wise

      And follow my honest advice:

      Don’t count on the phone for alarm

      Whenever you walk arm in arm.

      The battery might be too low,

      The Internet down or too slow,

      Your phone may have dropped on the floor

      Or taken a hit from the door.

      I have a solution for you.

      (It may sound a bit dejà vu.)

      Just ask her her grandmother’s name

      And check that yours isn’t the same.

      BBC World Service: "Icelandic Genealogy App."

      24 April 2013

      Back to top

      THE SELECTION

      We look at them all, one by one.

      It gives us such pleasure and fun.

      We’re

      Enjoying the preview?
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