A Stolen Childhood, Eleanor's Story

A

STOLEN CHILDHOOD

Eleanor’s Story

By

PATRICIA E DAY

Copyrighted Material

A STOLEN CHILDHOOD

A Story of Abuse, Struggle and Success

Author: Patricia E. Day

Unless otherwise stated, all writing

in this publication is the copyrighted work

of the author, Patricia Day.

This is her first full length novel.

The names of characters, other than those in the public domain,

have been changed, where applicable, to protect identities.

The novel is part biographical and part fiction.

This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient.

Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form,

by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying, recording,

or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission, in writing, from the author or publisher.

Patricia Day is the author of short stories and devotionals, as well

as, book reviews for publishers and major retailers.

Web-published on Presbyterian Church in Canada Daily Devotionals

www. presbycan .com

Daily Devotional

www.devotionalchristian.com

The Sermon Illustrator

www.febc.org

Email: pattersday@gmail.com

http://patriciaeday.wordpress.com

https://www.facebook.com/#!/skyscapes

What other readers say about this book…

We all have ‘inner promptings’ but because Patricia Day, the author of A Stolen Childhood – Eleanor’s Story, acted on hers, we have this interesting read. This book will evoke your memories too, perhaps even enough to encourage you to follow your inner leadings to the better places God has in store. Brenda Wood, author of The Pregnant Pause of Grief, the First Trimester of Widowhood, and Meeting Myself, Snippets from a Binging and Bulging Mind.

As painful as it is to experience an alcoholic parent, at some healing point, the Adult Child needs to relive their childhood feelings, as well as the adult scars. Knowing that just reliving is not enough, Ms. Day caringly uses her writing gift to reach out to help others. The often unrecognized signs are described, as well as valuable self-help information. All the while, Ms. Day so aptly enlightens the reader that one’s full healing of the Inner Child is not possible without the love and grounding of our loving, heavenly Father. Suzanne Cameron, MSW, RSW (Psychotherapist), EAC (Qualifying Member of the Editors’ Association of Canada).

On reading this book, I was at a loss for what to write for a review. In saying, I enjoyed reading it, would make it sound as if it was okay to have your childhood taken away. That would be far from the truth. That said, it was a very good read and would benefit anyone who had lived a similar childhood. It would be a starting place for healing oneself and for mending broken families. Coleen C. Ontario

Velma Shewfelt

INDEX

A STOLEN CHILDHOOD – Eleanor’s Story

A Story of Abuse, Struggle and Success

Chapter 1

Revelation!

Her day had begun calmly enough. Now it was mid-morning and Eleanor was fighting to keep her emotions in check. There were times when nothing pleased the man in her life and she was sick of hearing that she should keep her thoughts to herself. Her husband, Adam’s, recent derisive attack effectively took her to a dark place. All her life she had disliked raised voices. Her fear would escalate, because she knew that anger so easily erupted into violence.

The recent confrontation between Eleanor and her husband, Adam, made her feel adrift from reality, not knowing what to say or where to go.

It was not that she considered herself a victim. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. She was a survivor, and her professional success in her own life proved that. However, deep inside her heart something repressed her sense of accomplishment. Despite being a popular author, without Adam’s emotional support, what was she?

Now, confronted with these relationship difficulties, she found herself longing for change. She wanted more than to cook, clean and meet somebody else’s physical and emotional needs. She was weary of falling short of his expectations. Was this all there was to life?

Eleanor, of recent days sensed a strong inclination to write her own life story! Her ability to put her heartfelt thoughts down on paper was easier than verbalizing them. It was this gift that gave her credence in an otherwise, harsh world. Too often in the past, she had been told to just keep quiet so that was what she did, more and more. She shrugged the story idea off as just a silly notion that should go away and leave her alone. Who would want to read about her paltry life? She preferred to pour thoughts and emotions into the characters of her books.

Her life was comprised of many bad decisions. These decisions had affected everyone around her. If she was honest, she could say, she had screwed her life up – royally.

So, she sat and then began to write, and as she committed the words to paper more flooded into her mind. The shadows of her childhood years were apparently determined to explode out of the prison of her mind. The sheer effort exhausted her. The memories were still as lucid, and the emotions as raw, as when the events had occurred.

‘She was born in the chaotic early days of the Second World War. The family lived in central London: a favorite target for German Luftwaffe bombing raids.

As her life unfolded, she survived many traumas; not least of which was, an alcoholic parent and witnessing spousal abuse. Emotionally, she often felt confusion, while displaying an apparent lack of purpose.

She married young. She wanted to leave home. Her parental family life was not only challenging - - it was also dysfunctional. As she progressed through life, she realized in retrospect that her adult years were often just as impaired and 'war-torn' as her childhood’.

Sometime later, while reading The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton, she found the story to all intents and purposes could have been about her. How very extraordinary.

She felt a deep connection to the character in the story, as she made more and more comparisons between herself. Nell, in the book, really did give her the impression it was herself she was reading about.

The place was the same. She grew up in the same area. In her mind’s eye, she could visualize the places described in the book. It all became so real.

Intrigued by these similarities, she turned the pages back to read the inner cover. The book was written the same year she was urged to write her own story. Now her interest was really piqued. She couldn't wait to find out if there were more similarities. Was there a purpose to all these revelations?

Perhaps there was no significance to it, but she certainly did feel a renewed interest to resurrect her story. Memories burst forth erupting, out of control from where, only God knew. Blocked for so many years they were now refusing to remain buried.

She tried to understand what was happening to her, but clarity eluded her as she became steadily compelled to face the 'ghosts' of her past; ugly ghosts that were chasing her into murky memories. She knew she preferred to not go back there, but could not ignore the compulsion any longer.

As she sat, trying to process her thoughts, she was aware of her marital situation. It bothered her immensely. As she thought about it she realized it also often blocked her creative thinking.

Eleanor and her present husband Adam clashed occasionally. Recently, brutally angry words were exchanged. Nothing unusual there she mused. She guessed most couples encountered such times in their relationships, but it was really beginning to feel as if she was living with a 'Jekyll and Hyde' personality! Adam would critique everything she said which, of course, upset her. He would swing from kind and charming one moment to being a virtual verbal bear in the next. There was never any warning and he would render her speechless in those moments!

It was frustrating not to feel able to defend herself when this happened, and it contributed to her melancholy state. She desperately sought a solution as to why these outbursts confounded her; why she felt unable to respond? Could her father's outbursts during her childhood be a factor? Infuriatingly, she often came up with responses after the fact, but they were no help then.

Her husband's constant refusal to accept or recognize that he even had an anger problem was even more distressing. In all other ways, he was such a good man, but each outburst brought an increased rift between them, which to Eleanor in those moments, felt more like the great divide! It destroyed any opportunity to give an opinion in a spontaneous or concise manner.

She likened her feelings of helplessness to those she felt witnessing her mother dealing with her own husband’s outbursts. Anger and hopelessness had been front row emotions then and she was sensing the same despair now.

She was tired of Adam's confrontational behavior, and so attempted conversation less and less in their home. She knew this was avoidance behavior, but at least her opinions were not negated. His very strong personality often crushed her. He was always free with his opinions, whereas she barely knew who or what she was or should be. It was very irritating. Their relationship had become one where, one said too little and the other too much.

Therefore, as always, she was very thankful for her writing. Her devotionals and short stories were published regularly and they were gathering an increasing number of followers. Her novels were successfully distributed worldwide, and through those, she could pour out her heart and freely express frustrations. This did, at least, help to alleviate some of her pent-up emotions. She wished, nonetheless, that she could respond word for word to her husband's occasional outbursts, and not fall prey to being continually 'shouted into silence!'

While Adam, thankfully, was not guilty of drinking to excess like her father, he was a verbal bully, who did not accept or recognize there was an issue. Get over it he would say, or You're imagining it. I do not have an anger problem. You are the one with a problem. Any attempts to be heard, in a discussion, were met with his raised voice, as he took all her words personally – never allowing her to voice her opinions. He always knew what was right. Him! Him! Him! It was always about him. She wondered why she even bothered opening her mouth some days. Nothing came out the right way. An onlooker would think she was lacking in some way. It was apparent her words were always blocked – she was unable to defend herself verbally. In fact she always had been.

She wanted to be able to express what was in her heart. She just wanted to have him listen. Did she do the same to him? She thought not, even though she often felt she'd like to. When their relationship began, they enjoyed such an easy conversation style - when did this change?

Adam often commented on how sharp she was with him. He could unwittingly irritate her beyond her tolerance levels, which were not always