Body Disabled: My Journey Into Disability and Trust

Body Disabled

My Journey into Disability and Trust©

Paperback Available

Dr. Kerry R. Bunn, Sr. with Cathy P. Bunn

Published at Smashwords by Dr. Kerry R. Bunn, Sr.

Copyright © 2014 by Dr. Kerry R. Bunn, Sr.

Ringgold, GA 30736 -- All Rights Reserved

Smashwords Edition 1.0 * March 2014

ISBN 9781311860941

Smashwords Edition License Note: This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

All Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

www.Lockman.org

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To my wife, Cathy;

who truly loves me

in sickness, disability,

and in health!

Special thanks to

Kerrell Carpenter,

Laela Bunn,

Joyce Whitaker,

Dr. Dan Whitaker

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CONTENTS

Title Page

Dedication

Introduction

The Long Road Ahead

Day by Day

Third Hospitalization

Changed by the Journey

And So It Begins

Applying for Disability

Fourth Hospitalization - My Resignation

First Chemotherapy Series

One Year Down

Life and Loss

Fifth Hospitalization

Second Chemotherapy Series

Sixth and Seventh Hospitalization

Third Chemotherapy Series

Eighth Hospitalization

Love that Will Not Let Me Go

Other Information

Our Other Books

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Introduction

My Journey

Overview

Body Disabled: My Journey into Disability and Trust© details the continuing physical, emotional, and spiritual struggle in the life of minister, Dr. Kerry R. Bunn, Sr. While this book is not a medical text or theological treatise, it is intended to blend together the issues of accepting disability and living in trust from a personal point-of-view.

As I stated in my first book, Body Betrayed: My Journey through Sickness and Faith©, If we are truly more than physical creatures—which I fully believe we are—then the spiritual component of life affects every fiber of our being and all that we encounter.

I am first and foremost a pastor; not just by training, but by heart and calling. I purposely work at this material through a pastor's and personal perspective. All textual materials, thoughts, and insights come from years of ministerial preparation, study, observations, and personal experiences. Nowhere in this text do I intend or pretend to give any medical advice or diagnosis for others.

A Word about Chapter Structure

I began writing my journey as a series of blog posts on April 24, 2009. Like my first book, I kept the blog format for this book but edited and expanded the material and added my commentary. I have included myYouTube videos where appropriate.

Each chapter is divided into two sections. The first is an expansion of my blog posts (krbunn.blogspot.com) and follows the story of my sickness in chronological order. This book begins where Body Betrayed: My Journey through Sickness and Faith© concluded, July 23, 2010. Each blog post is dated when originally written. The Journey into Trust section is my commentary about disability and trust issues.

About the Authors

Dr. Kerry R. Bunn, Sr. last served as Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church of Ringgold, GA. He was ordained to the ministry in February, 1975.

Dr. Bunn earned the Bachelors of Arts degree from Mercer University, Macon, Georgia; the Master of Divinity degree from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, New Orleans, Louisiana; and the Doctor of Ministry degree from Beeson School of Divinity, Samford University, Birmingham, Alabama.

Cathy P. Bunn is a housewife and caregiver for Kerry. She is the author of the children's book, Max and Toby: Having Fun© and contributor to Body Betrayed: My Journey through Sickness and Faith©. She was actively involved in clown and drama ministry for many years. Cathy and Kerry have been married for over thirty-nine years. They have two adult children and seven grandchildren.

If You Had Told Me

If you had told me a few years ago about the journey I would face, I would not have believed you! Me with a disabling illness, what now? Give up, or keep going? I will keep going and share my experiences in hopes of helping others in their journey.

As you read through this journey, the events will unfold and some will even change over time. This is the nature of rare, chronic diseases. It has been a long and difficult journey, but God has provided for me and my family during this time.

This is my story.

Yours will be different!

So, the journey continues.

March, 2014

Dr. Kerry R. Bunn, Sr.

Cathy P. Bunn

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The Long Road Ahead

Positive for Myasthenia Gravis

Back to Vanderbilt (07/23/10)

We made a trip to Vanderbilt University Hospital in Nashville today for a Single Fiber Electromyography (SFEMG). The test was performed in two locations on my left arm. This is a very good test for diagnosing myasthenia gravis. Myasthenia gravis, often referred to by the initials MG, is an autoimmune neuromuscular disease that affects the junction between nerves and muscles resulting in severe and fluctuating muscle weakness. Treatment can help with the symptoms, but there is no cure yet!

The testing took about two hours and involved a lot of needle sticks. It is a good thing that I do not feel sticks. The first test was in my forearm and the results were normal. The next test was in my upper left arm. The results were abnormal and consistent with myasthenia gravis.

Finally, a positive myasthenia gravis test! So many things have been out-of-norm with my illness—I often do not fit the text book classification of normal. Testing in the upper arm is not the usual location for SFEMG testing, but in my case, that is where it showed abnormal. This explains my fatigue, weakness, breathing problems, and changing vision. I am currently taking four medications: pyridostigmine bromide (Mestinon), prednisone, famotidine, and venlafaxine .

The diagnosis of myasthenia gravis is in addition to all the other problems that I currently experience. It is hoped this medication will help my overall condition. Time will tell.

New Medication (07/28/10)

The new medication for myasthenia gravis is helping somewhat. I am not as fatigued and exhausted as I was last week. Now, I can go until about 1:00 PM without much problem. I still need lots of rest and I can tell very much when I am not rested. The Mestinon works and helps my strength, but wears off before four hours is over. My autonomic and small fiber sensory neuropathy continues with the same intensity.

My breathing is better and I do not feel my diaphragm working as hard while the Mestinon is in my system. I still feel tightness and discomfort in my throat when I breathe.

My vision is giving me lots of problems. It will double and blur at various time for no apparent reason. I know this is part of the myasthenia gravis, but it is very strange to have it happen while I am working. Blinking and refocusing my eyes seems to help. I am glad for computers and large type.

My voice is still a big concern for me because I make my living with my voice. I do my own audio/video editing of each sermon. In the audio editing, I can see a visual graph of the volume of my sermon from beginning to end. Usually, the volume graph stays around 80%. Over the last few weeks, the volume graph begins at 80% and ends somewhere around 40%. I can tell I need to use more force to project my voice as I preach through the sermon. This is also part of my myasthenia gravis condition.

Cathy and I have been doing a lot of soul-searching this week and dealing with some difficult issues. Thanks for keeping us in your prayers. I am having problems thinking and keeping my memory sharp. I do not know if this is part of the myasthenia gravis or from all the medication. So, if my words sound strange—they just may be!

Healing Prayer Service (08/05/10)

Come, let us return to the Lord.

For He has torn us, but He will heal us;

He has wounded us, but He will bandage us.

He will revive us after two days;

He will raise us up on the third day,

That we may live before Him.

So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.

His going forth is as certain as the dawn;

And He will come to us like the rain,

Like the spring rain watering the earth.

Hosea 6:1-3

This past Wednesday evening, August 4, 2010, the church was called to healing prayer for Cathy and myself, and for E.W. and P.W.. It was an amazing experience to receive the prayers for healing from so many people. I appreciate Rev. J.B., J.P., F.L., and others for being open to the impression of the Holy Spirit upon their heart to call for this healing/prayer service. Rev. J.B. did a wonderful job reminding us about the power of prayer and faith, then calling us to believing prayer for healing.

I have been in some very good and powerful church services over my years of ministry, but I cannot remember anytime when I have felt the Spirit of God moving more. People truly prayed and sought the Lord with tears and earnest hearts. This type of prayer changes things. No, not things, it changes us. If revival begins in prayer—and I know it does—then we are being revived.

I do not know everything God is doing, but I see His hand at work in our life. He has already answered one prayer for us this past week. He is working his good purpose in everything that has happened and will happen to me. One thing I know for sure is that God is also moving in the hearts and lives of our church members.

Cathy and I want you to know that we truly love and appreciate you. Thanks so much for your prayers. I trust and believe God will heal me. Soli Deo Gloria! To God Alone Be the Glory!

I Can't Think (08/20/10)

Overall, my health is better than it was a month ago. I attribute that to prayer and medication. Prayer is powerful and has definitely helped. The medication has calmed some of my symptoms and I have more energy because of the large dose of prednisone I take every other day. My breathing, voice, and vision continue to be problems.

I was beginning to have problems with concentration and thinking. Dr. C.L. suggested reducing my venlafaxine to one per day. This has helped, but my small fiber pain level really increased. I would rather have pain and be able to think though.

I have lot of pain and tightness in my chest. Dr. C.L. took me off Mestinon for a few days to see if it is causing the problem. I know it is not heart related because I had a complete heart workup (including catheter) a month ago with no heart problems at all.

So far, Mestinon is the only thing that has given me relief from my symptoms since May 2009. It is a downer to know what really works on my myasthenia may not be a medication I can take.

If the Mestinon is the problem, it may be possible to adjust the dosage or add a muscle relaxant to my drugs. Great, more pills.

What Is Happening Now (08/30/10)

In my last blog post, I talked about chest pain/tightness and stopping my medication. After a week without Mestinon, Dr. C.L. advised me to start taking it again. I did and it sure helps. He thinks the medication is causing my chest discomfort. Therefore, another doctor visit.

I made an appointment with the gastrologist last week. She kept me on famotidine twice daily, and added omeprazole twice daily. It seems to be helping. I am really glad to be back on the Mestinon. It is like spinach to Popeye for me. It's now official! I rattle as I walk—fourteen pills per day!

How Am I Doing? (08/31/10)

I still have the majority of small fiber neuropathy symptoms, but I have learned to deal with them. The Mestinon and prednisone make improved mobility possible for me.

Breathing is still a major problem. My lungs are clear, but I breathe very hard because of muscle weakness. I am learning to adapt to my energy and breathing levels as needed.

The last few days have not been too good for me. I am fighting major exhaustion, chest pain, and breathing problems. Sunday was a long day and my voice began giving me more problems.

To be specific, my go-fetcher (the medical term is uvula) began to flop around and bump against the back of my tongue while I was preaching. That is a weird feeling for sure. Its just another aspect of myasthenia gravis. The more I use my voice, the weaker my throat/vocal muscles become.

My primary care physician has ordered a CT scan this Friday to see what could be causing the chest pain and breathing difficulty. My lungs are clear and recent pulmonary function test indicate my problem is more with my diaphragm than lungs themselves. It still feels like I have something causing pressure inside my chest. My heart is not the problem either.

After the CT scan, I am to increase my prednisone to sixty milligrams daily. That's double my current dose. Look out Goodyear blimp, here I come!

If the increased dose of prednisone does not help, I will have plasma exchange again. Plasma exchange is also known as PLEX or plasmapheresis. In other words, another five day oil and filter change at Vanderbilt.

Exhausted (09/22/10)

I am having my CT scan at 2:00 PM today. In the last twenty-four hours, I have had 210 milligrams of prednisone, two famotidine, two omeprazole. At 1:00 PM today, I take an additional two famotidine, and two Benadryl—all because I am allergic to the CT scan dye.

J.R. is taking me to the appointment (thanks). He can tie a rope around my ankle on the way home and I will float like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Balloon.

Negative CT Scan (09/28/10)

This does not really surprise me since this has been the pattern of my illness. As far as I can tell, the negative CT scan means my chest pain and breathing problems are related to nerve damage and muscle/diaphragm weakness. I am grateful for a negative scan, but it would be less frustrating if doctors could find and fix something tangible.

So what is next? I am scheduled for an upper endoscopy on October 11, just to make sure my esophagus is working correctly and to check for acid reflux. The extra prednisone does not seem to be helping, so I will contact Dr. C.L. early next week about scheduling my second plasma exchange.

Over the last few weeks, my condition has worsened. Even though I am on medication and lots of prednisone, my body is still producing unknown antibodies which continue to attack my nerves and muscles.

Journey into Trust

Understanding the Journey into Trust

Before continuing with this section, it is important to understand I write not just for medical documentation but from my spiritual perspective as well. I am first and foremost a pastor; not just by training, but by heart and calling. I purposely work at this material through a pastor's heart and personal perspective. I am writing as a Christian, a believer in Jesus Christ—this is who I am.

As I stated in the preface of my first book, Body Betrayed: My Journey through Sickness and Faith©, If we are truly more than physical creatures—which I fully believe we are—then the spiritual component of life affects every fiber of our being and all that we encounter.

Is there a Difference Between Faith and Trust?

Let's think first about faith. Some people think faith is a series of doctrines or set of beliefs to which they hold. When asked to define faith they may respond, I am of the Baptist faith, or I am a Methodist. There are definite advantages to being part of a group and holding to a set of doctrines. That is an important part of the Christian life. Yet some tend to elevate group-faith to the detriment and lack of growth of their personal faith. I have met many, many people who hide from engaging their individual faith by sitting in the middle of a Sunday morning congregation. Group faith is no substitute for one's own tried faith when difficult times come.

Others understand faith as more of a wish or hope for something they desire to come true; a quick-fix faith. But what happens when what is hoped for does not happen quickly? In my case, I and many others have hoped, wished, prayed, and had faith for my healing. Does one lose faith when what they pray for does not happen? Does one quit believing? Sadly, I have met individuals who feel their faith failed them because what they hoped for did not happen on their schedule.

For many, faith is a very strong adherence to a particular set of rules or behaviors. I remember a man whose faith would not let him drink a Coca Cola, but drinking a Dr. Pepper was just fine. True story! While growing up in middle Georgia, it was a sin to go mixed-bathing. For those of you uneducated in our Southern ways, mixed-bathing means boys and girls swimming together. Strangely enough, mixed-bathing was not a sin for the people I met from Florida. Having and practicing faith becomes more about where one was from than trusting the Lord. I find little consistency or comfort in this type of faith.

The classic definition of faith, which has served believers well for