Switek Of Springfield: Season 1

The Mostly Odd Adventures Of Switek Of Springfield

Season 1: Switek In The Lands Of Coke

Episode 1 to 9

By

Michael Zinetti

Copyright 2014 Michael Zinetti

Smashwords Edition

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Contents

Contents

Map

Episode 1: Switek Meets Hattie The Hottie

Episode 2: Switek Meets Nattie The Nottie

Episode 3: Switek In The Lands Of Coke

Episode 4: Switek Meets The King Of Coke

Episode 5: Switek In The Coke Castle Dungeon

Episode 6: Switek Meets Princess Verana Of Coke

Episode 7: Switek Vs. The Dreaded Melucka

Episode 8: Switek Meets Prince Switek Of Coke

Episode 9: Switek Meets Queen Rosa Of Coke

List of Characters

Additional Michael Zinetti Titles

Lands Of Coke Map

Episode 1: Switek Meets Hattie The Hottie

Blackness. Enter the sound of a clock radio going off with a very chipper DJ talking about what a beautiful summer day it is. Fade In to a disheveled motel room, with a nearly naked man and a completely naked woman sleeping on a bed. The bright sunrays are beaming throughout the room and in the occupants' eyes.

In fact, it's so sunny and shiny, what better song to play than REM's new song, 'Shiny Happy People', the DJ says.

As Shiny Happy People starts, the woman wakes. She looks around as if she doesn't know where she is. Apparently embarrassed, she hides her head in her hands. Before too long, before the song is even close to over, the woman has found her clothes and is quickly putting them on and leaves. The man stirs.

SWITEK OF SPRINGFIELD, a large but physically fit man in his mid twenties, wakes up. He narrows his eyes as the bright sunrays overwhelm him. Fuck me! Switek grumbles. Damn this fucking sun. It’s fucking blinding me! Enough already! Switek sits up, feeling his throbbing forehead. Then he runs to the bathroom to throw up.

There you go, Springfieldians, shake off those lingering effects of last night's debauchery so you can partake of this beautiful late summer day! the DJ says.

In the bathroom, Switek looks at himself in the mirror. Then he peeks back at the bed and sees that it's empty. Relieved, he nods and starts shaving.

Do you like baseball? the DJ asks.

Switek shrugs his shoulders.

Why not come down to the ballpark and come see your Springfield Triumph. With just a week left in the season, it might be your last chance to see tomorrow's future stars today, before the big club calls them up and they're gone forever. And this just in, tomorrow night's ceremonial first pitch will be delivered by none other than the Springfield Triumph's fearless leader and owner, Little Red Ruby Rickenbach. So, come on down and say hello to Ruby. Maybe you can ask her what she was thinking when she signed Jack Switek. Ha!

Fuck you, buddy! Switek roars and grabs a bar of soap off the sink and whips it at the clock radio, knocking it to the floor.

Cut to the ballpark, early evening. It's the bottom of the 1st, no score. Switek steps up to the plate. He's wearing a white uniform with red trim. He is a member of the Springfield Triumph, a less than stellar minor league baseball team with a dwindling fan-base.

There's a runner on second and third. The man on third, TELLBROOK, a man in his mid-twenties, is standing there with his arms crossed, as he looks at Switek with contempt. In contrast, the man at second, GRISSOM, a man in his early 20's, is clapping his hands, cheering Switek on.

The first pitch, a change-up, is delivered and Switek is way out front, missing the ball completely.

In the dugout, COOKIE the manager, an older man who looks like he's been through a thousand baseball battles, seems as if he doesn't even want to watch. He apparently shares Tellbrook's lack of faith in Switek.

On the second pitch, a fastball, Switek absolutely uncorks it, as the ball sails out of the stadium and into the dark blue night sky. But it's foul. Switek is smiling as he stands in awe of the ball's flight. He glances back at the catcher. The catcher just shakes his head. After two more pitches, two curveballs, Switek goes down swinging. Fuck me! Switek roars and tosses his bat.

What a joke! the catcher says as he leaves the field.

Fuck you, you piece of shit! You're a joke. Your pitcher is a joke. Tell that mother-fucking pansy to throw me some cheese. You fucking pussies!

Cut to later in the game. Switek's up. It's the bottom of the 7th and the Triumph are down by 1 run. There's two outs and a runner at third. Switek steps into the batter's box, glaring back at the catcher.

What are you looking at? the catcher asks.

A fucking pussy, Switek says as he makes a couple practice swings with his bat. Tell, that piece of shit pitcher to throw me some cheese.

Coming right up, the catcher says and smiles.

The next pitch is a heater, but tails inside, and Switek hits the deck. Cute. Real fucking cute.

As Switek stands up and brushes his uniform off, he notices a girl in the stands he's never seen before. She's got dark, auburn hair and shimmering green eyes and is wearing a deep green sundress. She's sticking out like a sore thumb with everyone else in the sparsely filled stands wearing red. The girl's looking right back at Switek. Switek smiles. She smiles.

Then Switek steps back into the batter's box and gets two sliders and a curve and Switek whiffs on all three.

Pathetic, the catcher says.

What'd you say, you little pussy! Switek roars, then tackles the guy.

BEAUMONT, another older teammate, who is standing in the on deck circle rolls his eyes.

A benches-clearing brawl ensues.

Fade to black.

Blackness. Enter the sounds of a crowd of people talking and laughing, glasses clinking and music, Winger's She's Only 17. Fade In to The Bullpen, a local bar. Switek and a couple of his teammates are drinking some beers.

Man, you really clocked that guy, Jack, Grissom says, looking at Switek with admiration.

Switek nods.

What did he say to get you so pissed? LEWIS, another young teammate asks, looking at Switek with similar admiration.

Switek pauses. Aw, you know. The usual bullshit.

Switek's young teammates laugh.

Then Tellbrook and Beaumont walk up to the table. I believe he called Jack pathetic, Beaumont says.

Switek looks up at him like he might tackle him, too.

Fuck those guys, Lewis says.

Yeah. Ole Jack is a lot of things, but he ain't pathetic, Grissom says. "I mean, how many guys can say they hit the AJ's Texas Burritos sign? That's gotta be well over 500 feet away."

Yeah. That was a shot. Beaumont says, unimpressed.

Switek smiles.

That was his rookie season, Tellbrook says. That was a lot of AB's ago and whole hell of a lot of strikeouts ago.

Beaumont smiles. Tellbrook and Beaumont clink their mugs of beer together and laugh.

Fuck you, Tellbrook, Lewis says.

You gonna let him dog you like that, Jack? Grissom asks Switek.

Switek is clenching his fist, ready to get up and pound Tellbrook and Beaumont, but then he sees the girl in green, the one he saw in the stands. She's over at the bar. Switek gets up and takes his last swig of beer. Grissom and Lewis watch him and smile.

I believe he's taking the highroad, Lewis says and laughs.

Switek walks over to the bar. As he arrives at the bar, across from the girl, Switek sees her talking to another guy. The guy looks to be another potential suitor. However, whatever the girl says to him, turns his confident smile into a frown, and the guy walks away like a wounded animal.

Hey Anthony? Switek says to the bartender.

ANTHONY, a man in his mid forties, rolls his eye when he sees Switek. Forget it, Jack.

Forget what?

"I can't fix you up with any more drinks. I'm trying to run a business here."

I wasn't talking about a drink. What do you know about that girl?

Forget her, too.

What? Why?

Again, I'm trying to run a business. You take home every girl you meet and then they never come back. God knows what you do to them. Maybe they're piling up in your basement. Regardless, whatever you do, they don't wanna show their faces around here anymore. You ballplayers are great for business, but not if you're gonna run off all the female cliental. For once, why don't you let this one go. Maybe this once, let one of the local yahoos have at her.

That sounds great and everything, but I don't think she likes the local yahoos. Switek points over at the girl, as she's turning away another unsuccessful suitor. Then she looks over at Switek. Switek smiles. She smiles.

Switek walks over to her. She squares up to receive him.

Hi, Switek says.

Hi, she says.

I'm Jack, Switek says.

I'm Hattie, HATTIE says.

That's an unusual name.

I'm an unusual girl.

I believe you.

Hattie smiles.

You mind if I sit down? Switek asks.

Suit yourself. I was just leaving, Hattie says and smiles.

Oh, well that's too bad.

Not really. I was hoping you'd be leaving with me.

Oh, well in that case, that's not bad at all. I'd be honored to accompany you. Where would you like to go?

I thought maybe your place.

Great minds think alike. I thought maybe my place, too.

As Switek and Hattie leave, Anthony stands there shaking his head.

Cut to Switek sliding into his Camaro, where Hattie is already sitting in the passenger's side.

You sure you don't wanna follow me? Switek asks.

That's not necessary. I trust you, Hattie says, as she checks her makeup in the visor mirror.

Man, you're gorgeous, Switek says without thinking, as he watches her.

Thank you. You're not so bad yourself.

Sure.

Switek grabs one of his tapes and slides it into the tape player. You like the Smithereens? The Smithereens' Only A Memory starts playing.

I don't believe I know this, Hattie says.

Yeah. They're great, Switek says, in a similar fashion as Tony The Tiger.

Switek takes off.

Cut to liquor store, Bob's Spirits. Switek is pushing around a little cart and putting various bottles in. Hattie is walking along with him. She adds a couple bottles herself.

"Have you ever had Realm-Bender's Brew?" Hattie asks as she holds up the bottle.

Um, Switek says, perplexed. Oh, yeah. Sure.

You have? Hattie sounds surprised.

Yeah, it's not my favorite, but it's pretty good stuff.

Well, I happen to love it.

Okay great. Go ahead and get it. Switek pauses at the shelf where she found the Realm-Bender's Brew. It's empty. Hey, looks like we lucked out. I think you got the last bottle.

Yes, we certainly are lucky.

Cut to outside Switek's motel room. Switek and Hattie walk up to his door. Switek, who's holding a paper bag full of booze in one hand opens the door with the other. Switek looks in and quickly pulls back. Shit, Hattie, the maid must have got deported again, Switek says, annoyed. Why don't you wait a minute while I clean up a little.

Nonsense, Hattie says and walks in.

You gotta forgive me. I've been living the rockstar life ever since I got signed.

That's quite all right.

Inside, Switek sets the bag of booze on the counter. He searches the cupboard for a couple clean glasses. Success. He glances back at Hattie, who's sitting on the unmade bed, feeling the sheets with her hand. She smiles at him. Switek smiles back. He fixes them a couple drinks. He joins her on the bed. He hands her a drink.

Thank you, Hattie says and smiles.

No prob, Switek says.

There's a short silence.

You like baseball? Switek asks.

Yes. You are quite good.

I do okay.

You are quite good.

I can hit the ball a fucking mile.

Yes. I saw that. Very good.

Aw, shit. That was just a foul ball. Still, I crushed it, huh?

Yes. You crushed it.

You wanna watch TV? Switek asks.

I much rather watch you, Hattie says.

Switek smiles. Likewise. I mean, not me, you. Watch you.

Hattie leans over to put her drink on the nightstand. Then she straightens and leans over to Switek and gives him a couple pecks on the cheek. And then lips. Switek is still holding his drink. Hattie kisses down his neck. Then she pulls up his shirt. Switek assists her in removing his shirt.

What a great big, strong body, Hattie says as she caresses Switek's chest and ribs.

Thanks.

Hattie kisses his chest and down to his stomach. Hattie looks up at Switek and gives him a ravenous smile as she pushes him to lay back.

As you wish, Switek says, propping up a couple pillows to lean against.

Hattie undoes Switek's belt, button and zipper. Hattie sees the rather large bulge in his briefs. She is instantly enthralled. Hattie rubs the bulge. Hattie looks up at Switek with hungry anticipation. Switek smiles and shrugs his shoulders. Hattie smiles back.

Dissolve to Switek in ecstasy, as he, every so often, looks down at Hattie pleasuring him. Then he watches as she climbs up on the bed. Hattie gives him a desirous smile and then lifts her dress up and over and tosses it aside. Switek marvels at Hattie's ample breasts, perfectly round, with large dark nipples and a small collection of freckles near the areola on her right breast. He surveys the rest of her body. He's impressed by her seemingly perfect form.

My God, you're a mother-fucking goddess, Switek says in amazement.

Thank you.

Then Switek sets his drink on the nightstand, next to Hattie's. He looks back at Hattie. Come here, you little vixen.

Hattie looks surprised.

Switek lunges at her, swooping her up in his arms and laying her against the mound of pillows. He kisses her lips and Hattie seems to melt beneath him. He's kissing down her neck and down to her breasts. He sucks on her nipples for a while, drawing various moans of pleasure from Hattie. Then he travels further south, and likewise, draws various moans of pleasure, except this time with ten times the intensity.

Dissolve to Hattie gripping the loose sheets. I'm ready, Jack.

You're ready? Switek smirks.

To put it inside me.

Oh, well. Of course.

Switek, somewhat amused, climbs up and over Hattie. Hattie looks up with anticipation. Then she smiles. Switek smiles back. Hattie's eyes widen as a