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    Fine, I'll Go Online!: The Hollywood Publicist's Guide to Successful Internet Dating
    Fine, I'll Go Online!: The Hollywood Publicist's Guide to Successful Internet Dating
    Fine, I'll Go Online!: The Hollywood Publicist's Guide to Successful Internet Dating
    Ebook177 pages2 hours

    Fine, I'll Go Online!: The Hollywood Publicist's Guide to Successful Internet Dating

    By Leslie Oren

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    About this ebook

    "An entertaining, step-by-step guide to successful online dating."--The Hollywood Reporter

    It only takes one, but finding one you click with can be tough. These days, more and more women are deciding to go online to find love. In this fun yet informative guide, top Hollywood publicist Leslie Oren will give you the tricks of her trade – marketing and creating an image – to help you navigate today's tangled dating Web to find a match who's waiting for you.

    Just like she has done for her clients in Hollywood, Leslie will teach you how to successfully craft your image to create the best possible version of your authentic self for Internet dating, including:

    *How to write the perfect online profile
    *Why you must post a photo
    *What not to write in an email
    *Why the first date should only be meeting for coffee or a drink
    *Why a second date means online dating success

    And many more tips to make you shine like a star!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMacmillan Publishers
    Release dateNov 13, 2007
    ISBN9781429930727
    Fine, I'll Go Online!: The Hollywood Publicist's Guide to Successful Internet Dating
    Author

    Leslie Oren

    Leslie Oren is senior vice president of publicity and corporate communications for Fox Television Studios where she oversees publicity for all shows produced by the studio, including The Shield, The Riches, Burn Notice, Saving Grace and The Girls Next Door. Previously vice president of publicity at Warner Bros.' Telepictures Productions, Leslie launched the Emmy Award-winning The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and oversaw PR for other series like Extra. Leslie lives in Los Angeles, California.

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      Book preview

      Fine, I'll Go Online! - Leslie Oren

      Preface

      I was sitting in my office when I got a phone call from a reporter friend of mine. I gave your name and number to someone, she said. She’s a friend from New York City who moved out here a couple of months ago. Jill’s a great girl—an attorney at NBC. But she doesn’t know that many people here, and she’s been doing a lot of online dating. Apparently it’s not going very well, so I told her to call you. I told her you’re an online dating expert and could give her some advice.

      Are you kidding? I said. It’s one thing to help out my friends, but now I’m giving online dating advice to people I don’t even know?

      To which my very good, and possibly very psychic, friend replied: Oh, come on! You have to help! Single women have to support each other! Besides, if it works out, you could write a book.

      It’s true—I had been experiencing an unusually high percentage of quality online dates for a while, unlike so many of my single friends who had been having a pretty miserable time. Granted, I hadn’t yet floated home on a cloud, compelled to wake up my East Coast family with a squealing phone call to tell them I’d just met my future husband, but a definite phenomenon was emerging.

      There were many morning-after discussions about this with girlfriends who acknowledged with support (and just a little envy) what seemed to be my incredible good luck—and my uncanny ability to pick out the good ones and fend off the others. All kinds of analysis about this so-called good fortune percolated in my mind, too, everywhere from the shower to the treadmill to the car. Then one day at work, in the middle of launching a new project, it hit me. The job! I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. My job is a huge advantage for online dating. So am I a psychologist? A model? The owner of a dating service? Nope. Much better.

      I am a Hollywood publicist.

      If while reading this you’re scratching your head or looking like a dog watching TV (you know, head cocked to one side with a confused expression in your eyes), let me explain what a Hollywood publicist does.

      We craft the images of the stars. Their movies. Their television shows. Their CDs. Their websites. Their personas. We’re the ones who get them in all those places where you see them every day—on television, on the radio, on the newsstand, the Web. Cover of People magazine? One of us did that. Access Hollywood, Extra, and Entertainment Tonight? We strike again. Even the article in your local paper telling you to watch that new show or see that new movie, or exactly who that new breakout heartthrob is—chances are, it was placed by a Hollywood publicist.

      So how exactly do we do it? And what could it possibly have to do with online dating?

      Well, to put it simply, we pitch. And we pitch some more. We reach out to the media with enthusiasm and a clear, succinct message about what makes our star special, even unique, and why he or she deserves to be booked on the most popular talk show, profiled in the news, or featured on a cover. Sometimes, in reverse, we field incoming offers for the same thing.

      Often, we decline offers. Or we don’t accept right away. We hold off so we can explore the situation a little further, make sure it’s really the right thing for our star or project at that particular moment. Sometimes we have a better offer pending—or we may just want a magazine or TV show to think we do. No matter what, throughout the entire process we’re always looking to identify potentially negative angles or ulterior motives.

      Sound like online dating yet?

      As publicists, we encourage and help the stars to express themselves so they can talk about their latest movie, TV show, or other project in a way that’s compelling and accessible to audiences—enough to intrigue them and make them want to tune in or buy tickets. And, of course, we take great pains, working with experienced people, to help our celebrities look their absolute best—in photos and on the red carpet.

      To pull back a showbiz curtain, the Hollywood publicist’s job is to make the stars seem exciting, desirable, approachable, and just plain fun to be around. Yet, at the same time, we have to shield them from damaging press, undesirable outlets, or worse—overexposure!

      In short, the mission of the Hollywood publicist is to orchestrate personal presentation, which also just happens to be the key to online dating.

      Like life and like dating, show business is incredibly competitive. Unless you know how to break through the clutter, the true quality, artistry, and inspiration of a particular film, book, or TV show won’t ever be seen or heard. It doesn’t matter how great a story or message is if nobody knows about it. If it’s not on the audience’s radar, then they can’t connect to it, be moved by it, or respond to it. It’s exactly the same with online dating.

      Whether you’re eighteen or eighty, it doesn’t matter how great a woman you are if the men worth meeting online don’t see you.

      By see, I mean spark to something about your unique personal presentation. Whether it’s your humor, warmth, sweetness, charm, intelligence, adventurousness, sexiness, earthiness, athleticism, edginess, stylishness, feistiness, openness, passion, femininity, or myriad other traits, something has to reach out and grab the quality men online, telling them something about who you really are and what makes you special. In turn, you have to be able to do the same with them.

      It occurred to me that maybe I’d been having such good luck in the online dating world because the skills and instincts I’d developed as a longtime Hollywood publicist were starting to spill over into my personal life—in this case, giving me a leg up in the cutthroat, ego-driven world of Internet dating.

      I’d been working hard putting my theory into practice, using myself and some close friends as the proverbial guinea pigs. I rewrote profiles, helped shoot and pick out photos, and made sure that email exchanges weren’t too long, too short, too boring, or too provocative. Then, with that one phone call from my friend, I got a windfall—the chance to try it out on a complete stranger.

      I met Jill for dinner one night, and we found tons of things to talk about and even people we knew in common in the industry. Over dessert, we got down to business. She was very brave and candid, telling me about the men who had contacted her online and how she was responding to them. We looked at the men she found appealing and talked about how she could approach them, too. Finally, we took her profile apart (including a little direction on some new photos) and put it back piece by piece—new and improved, but still real.

      With that, we said goodbye, and I went back to my life. A month later, I got an email from her.

      I just wanted to thank you for getting together and for helping me. I thought you’d like to know that I’ve been doing what we talked about and things have really turned around for me. Thank you so much!

      So I decided my theory must be right. My job as a Hollywood publicist is the perfect training ground for online dating. Think about it. I market, pitch, and respond to offers for a living. I run celebrity photo shoots and write grabby loglines (that’s entertainment industry code for one line that sums up the whole story), synopses, and bios. I help create images that audiences find appealing and alluring. I strategize the ideal timing for releasing specific information—and withholding it—so that it can be most useful and leveraged for optimal effect.

      My job is to present clients in their most attractive light while protecting them from the hidden agendas that can often derail success. And I make it all look spontaneous, effortless, and fun.

      Now, let’s do the same for you.

      1

      Introduction: The Online Dating Attitude and Spinning Up the Dating Energy

      We’ve all been there. Another dead-end fix-up, courtesy of your aunt/work friend/college roommate, with the most fabulous dentist/advertising exec/Web designer who, like you, just hasn’t met the one. Unfortunately, after the so-so phone call, the awkward meeting at Starbucks, the disappointment when you don’t feel that instant spark, and the hour of you never know first-date conversation, you still haven’t. And neither has he. Because you are not each other’s Mr./Ms. Right—yet again.

      For some reason, though, this painfully forgettable bad first date feels different. It’s the last straw. You tell yourself you simply will not go out on any more blind dates. OK, that may be a bit too drastic. After all, what if you know someone who’s just worked with George Clooney on a new movie (or better yet, a humanitarian project) and thinks you two would be perfect together? Caveat: You will not go out on any more blind dates orchestrated by someone you don’t know very well or like very much—especially when the only thing the fixer-upper knows about each of you is that you are both

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