Savvy, Sassy and Bold After 50, A Midlife Rebirth

Savvy, Sassy and Bold After 50!

A Midlife Rebirth

Vicki L Ward

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2010 Vicki L Ward

Published by

Nubian Images Publishing P.O. Box 1463

Brentwood, CA 94513

Savvy, Sassy and Bold After 50!. Copyright © 2010 by Nubian Images Publishing, Vicki L. Ward. All rights reserved. No part of this e-book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages to be included in a review.

Disclaimer: The information presented in this book on medical issues, on finances and investing are general discussions intended to facilitate awareness of the importance to a balanced life. This book does not endeavor to offer any advice, or recommend any professionals represented. If you need financial information you should seek the advice of qualified financial specialists. If you need medical advice, you should seek the advice of qualified medical specialists.

Book cover photo © Eddie Johnson

Cover and interior design © 2009 by Marisa Jackson

Cartoons © (year as indicated) by Mark Stivers, used by permission.

To my parents, Mary Brown, and Drue Brown Sr., my son and daughter-in-law, Donnell and Toria, and my grandsons Antonio, Malcolm, Dorian, Donavon, and Donnell.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To seasoned women who embody boldness, are truly savvy, and possess a little sass, I salute you. Know that you can create the future you want. I salute the women who shared their experiences in the Sistah Survey.

Thanks to LaRhonda Crosby Johnson, Geri Spencer Hunter and Nora Profit for editorial support, Eddie Johnson for photography, the Savvy Sassy and Bold Cover Girls; Denise Martinez, Bonnie Rhodes, Arthelia Mosley, and Katherine Parker.

Thanks to Joanna Cassese, Gail Perry-Mason, Patricia Canterbury, Calvin Owens, Elizabeth F. Thomas, M.D., Linda Handy, M.S.O.D.A, and Elaine Lee, for professional insight and expertise. Thanks to Michael O’Sullivan, General Manager of Scotts Seafood Restaurant in Oakland, California, and Marisa Jackson for book cover and interior design.

On Turning Fifty

Time and experience

are priceless...

A gesture, a person

special place, or song

Bring back a remembrance

Simple pleasures amuse

Befriend, and comfort.

Breathe in deeply,

You are unique;

Savor your life

Settle into the comfort

Of being clothed in 50

Find joy climbing

Reaching for the garments of 60

FORWARD

Old to a teenager is 30. When you get to be 30, old is 50. When you get to be 50, old becomes infinity. As one of the savvy, sassy, and bold women who is now closer to 60 than 50, I can truly understand the words of those folks that I used to consider old when they said, I may not know what I am going to be, but thank God I am not what I used to be.

Having an opportunity to reach the second half of life can be both a blessing and a time of uncertainty. Contemplating issues of health, finances, raising children, grandchildren, relationships, taking care of parents or others who have become physically or psychologically impaired, and our own retirement can present challenges and opportunities for growth. Many of these topics are addressed in the first eight chapters of this book along with spirituality and pursuing new goals, in a way that is both informative and peppered with folk wisdom or mother wit.

Throughout Savvy, Sassy and Bold After 50!: A Midlife Rebirth, we receive information compiled from the responses of women over 50 to the Sistah Survey. Interspersed with a mix of information based on research is the sage advice from women who have reached the 50 and beyond milestone. This SANKOFA experience, the ability to reach back in order to give others a directional map, if you will, to the future, is what makes this book unique and interesting. We can sometimes read all the information in the world but we don’t absorb it until our sistah friends speak it as truth. Chapter 2, What Would You Have Done Differently? allows one to integrate the past with the present and move on to the future as in Chapter 6, What Do You Want More...and How Do You Get It? and Chapter 9, Savvy, Sassy and Bold.

From my experience as a person who has worked in the field of aging for thirty-four years and counting, too little is written about the cross-cultural experiences of women as they age and how to do so successfully, gracefully, and with a sense of deliberate planning. The Sistah Survey reached all segments of society in order to ensure that the book could speak to a broad spectrum of women who are now labeled the Baby Boomers—women who are extremely diverse not only in terms of demographics, but also in terms of experiences, beliefs, and values.

The one thing we all have in common is that if we live long enough, we will grow old, and if we plan for our older years, we will have a good shot at achieving what we want to achieve. This book provides a much-needed resource for women by women and validates the experiences of women who have crossed the timeline to the second half of life.

For women under 50, read the book and learn; for those over 50 read the book, learn, and have an amen experience.

Norma D. Thomas, DSW, LSW, ACSW MSW Program Director, California University of Pennsylvania

INTRODUCTION

EVERYONE WEARS LABELS throughout their life. I’m not talking about the nickname a sibling gave you that was soon forgotten. The labels of which I speak are the ones that described you or your status at different times in your life.

Those labels may have included teenager, young adult, stone cold fox (smile), best friend, or co-worker. You may have been called devoted wife, passionate lover or valued friend. Today’s label of choice for women who grew up in the 1960s is Baby Boomer. When these women reached their fifties and sixties, titles like mature woman, seasoned sistah, and retiree became the norm.

Baby Boomers are big news. Newspapers and magazines are saturated with reports on all facets of their lives. Websites and online networks offer limitless information and referrals for their every need. Experts in health, money management, psychology, and other specialties, have plenty of advice for this bulging segment of American society. The information overload can be overwhelming for women learning to get comfortable in their new skin of being over fifty.

Savvy, Sassy and Bold after 50! focuses on the 38 million women of the Baby Boom generation—women born between 1946 and 1965. They represent the healthiest, wealthiest, and most well-educated generation of women to ever hit midlife.

In the 1960s these men and women were young and innocent; often labeled flower children, who demonstrated their passion for life through their music, lifestyle, outspoken political beliefs, and social consciousness. A hundred thousand of them flooded into San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury neighborhood during the 1967 summer of love making it the spiritual home of the hippie, and creating an unprecedented cultural and political rebellion. Similar hubs sprouted in New York, Los Angeles, Atlanta, and other cities across the country and throughout the world.

Slogans like Make love not war, End the war in Vietnam, and Bring the troops home, were familiar shouts heard at antiwar demonstrations. These young activists took part in marches, strikes, and protests demanding rights for black people, migrant farm workers, and others.

This generation of youth shook up the status quo, brought heightened attention to national politics, world hunger, poverty, global warfare, and the growing feminist movement. These young adults were discovering their sexuality and many flaunted it. They held sleep-ins, sit-ins, and demonstrations to raise awareness and create change, determined to make a difference in the world. These change agents became empowered and crossed into adulthood with the Vietnam War as a backdrop. In the 1960s Baby Boomers were moving into adulthood and making their own decisions—a life change for them. Now they’re approaching retirement age—facing another major life change. They are greeted with slower-moving, aging bodies, and forever changing lives. Actuarial studies, insurance company reports, government data, and volumes of information are available telling us about this collective group. In 1958, the American Association of Retired People (AARP) had 100,000 members. Today, its membership stands at 39 million. In 1958, 23 percent of the population was over 50. Today, that number surpasses 30 percent. The number of people who can expect to reach age 50 increased from 74.9 percent in 1958 to 85.2 percent today.

The information overload can be overwhelming for women learning to get comfortable in their new skin of being over fifty.

Today, nearly three in 10 Americans are classified as Baby Boomers. Every 18 seconds a baby boomer turns 50 and every seven seconds one turns 60. This, the largest group in U.S. history—half of whom are women—now find their children grown and gone, and as a result, may be experiencing empty-nest syndrome. Some are downsizing their lives and their homes while others have already done so.

Some of these women are contemplating a transition from full-time employment to retirement. Others are taking yet a different road. Those who have devoted their lives to being at home with family may be entering the workforce for the first time.

Lifestyle changes aren’t the only things these Baby Boomer women are facing. They are also facing challenging health risks; heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, and other debilitating conditions. Menopause, once believed to be only the physical cessation of menstruation, is now recognized as a holistic experience that affects the emotions as well as the physical body.

In the following pages of this book, you’ll learn about these issues as they are discussed by physicians, practitioners and the women encountering health obstacles head on.

Grab your favorite beverage, settle in a comfortable chair and listen to the women who have contributed their voices to the conversation of growing older in a fast-paced world. Each chapter covers a different theme important to the lives of women over 50.

Accept this as your first invitation to lighten up! Yes, breathe in slowly, and exhale deeply. Relax yourself. Yes, the information may from time to time be a bit too edgy, and alarming to hear. Just remember that you’ve come this far in life and have surpassed many other obstacles that seemed too harsh to face. The book discloses the private, candid feelings of women who took our survey. They share their thoughts on health, finances, pending retirement, their dreams and the act of aging gracefully. Included are timely and insightful reports on topics by experts in the fields of wellness, mental health, finance, retirement, and the benefits of mind-body medicine. These experts describe how women are enhancing their lives, expanding their opportunities, and renewing their loves and passions.

Our Sistah Survey was developed to reveal the essence of what it’s like to be a woman in the esteemed Over 50 Club. These women disclose the intimate, emotional issues they usually guard closely. Their responses to our questions provide an in-depth look at the lives of women 50 and over; who they are on an emotional and spiritual level. These women are married, single, and divorced; mothers and grandmothers; working women and retirees.

Respondents to our Sistah Survey ranged in age from 45 to 75 with 89 percent of the sistahs between the ages of 54 and 59. Most of the respondents were still employed and living in states around the country; 33 percent were married; 61 percent single; and six percent reported they are in a committed relationship. Women over 50 from diverse cultures and circumstances told us what their interests are, and through their frank responses to our questions, invite you into their lives.

They indicated they have held, or are currently holding, service jobs, academic positions or a variety of technical jobs. The survey, while not scientific, proved to be an effective tool for exploring how Boomer women perceive their life experiences, their goals and their feelings regarding maturing. Listen carefully as they speak about the moment in time they truly began to know themselves, how they view their lives now, and what they believe the future holds for them. They speak with open hearts, lowering the wall of privacy, sharing private thoughts and intimate emotions, while speaking out about how it feels to be a maturing woman experiencing life’s highlights and challenges.

Savvy,