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    Driving Mr. Dead
    Driving Mr. Dead
    Driving Mr. Dead
    Ebook213 pages3 hours

    Driving Mr. Dead

    By Molly Harper

    4/5

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    About this ebook

    A standalone novella introducing a new side of Half Moon Hollow—featuring a freewheeling courier and the stuffy vampire she has to transport.

    Miranda Puckett has failed at every job she’s ever had. Her mother just wants her to come home, join the family law firm, and settle down with Jason, the perfect lawyer boyfriend. But when Jason turns out to be a lying cheater, Miranda seizes on a job that gets her out of town: long-distance vampire transportation. Her first assignment is to drive vampire Collin Sutherland from Washington to sleepy Half Moon Hollow without incident—no small feat for a woman whom trouble seems to follow like a faithful hound dog! And she has to do it without letting her passenger—the most persnickety, stuffy, devastatingly handsome vamp she’s ever met—drive her crazy. As she and Collin find disaster on the roads, they also find an undeniable spark between them.  Could Miranda have found the perfect job and the perfect guy for her?
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPocket Star
    Release dateJan 31, 2012
    ISBN9781451678215
    Driving Mr. Dead
    Author

    Molly Harper

    Molly Harper is the author of two popular series of paranormal romance, the Half-Moon Hollow series and the Naked Werewolf series. She also writes the Bluegrass ebook series of contemporary romance. A former humor columnist and newspaper reporter, she lives in Michigan with her family, where she is currently working on the next Southern Eclectic novel. Visit her on the web at MollyHarper.com.

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    Reviews for Driving Mr. Dead

    4/5

    179 ratings18 reviews

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    • 5/5
      The humor was right up my alley!
    • 5/5
      Lots of fun! Poor Miranda, everything happens to her!

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      Fun adventure with vampires, but the main character is a bit too much like Jane. Would've rather read another Jane adventure! (This book, like the Jane Jameson books, are also too short for readers who love hanging out in that world!)

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      Cute light fare. Kept me grinning.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      It's not one of those books that will be memorable, but it was funny. I laughed out loud a couple of times.


      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      It's been a while since I've picked up anything by Molly Harper, and now that I've finished Driving Mr. Dead, I honestly can't remember why I fell behind! This novella was a lot of fun, and a super enjoyable read.

      Since the setting of Driving Mr. Dead took place almost entirely on the road, this was a novella where the relationship really took center stage. This was no ?instalove? scenario, it was more a situation where as the main characters the relationship got closer as they spent more time together. As they experienced one ridiculous situation after another, they learned more about each other and get pretty close in a short period of time.

      While Collin isn?t a vampire that I would immediately swoon over (for an example of those, see: Bones, Ethan, or Eric), as we get to know more about him, he becomes more attractive, to the reader and to Miranda. I feel like this is certainly a plausible reaction to the situation- especially if two people are thrown together like Collin and Miranda were. Miranda was great and I pretty much instantly liked her. She?s working hard to disprove everybody?s expectations of her, and her commitment to the job was admirable. I liked that she was a bit bossy at times- definitely reminds me of myself. :)

      I already got the next book in the series, The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires, and I can?t wait to delve further into the Half Moon Hollow series, especially if it is anything like the first.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Absolutely love this book! I couldn't stop laughing!

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Fantastic laugh out load funny as usual! I hope we see more of Miranda and Colin in Half Moon Hollow! Picked it up and didn't stop til it was finished!

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      To date, Miranda has yet to find her niche. She’s failed at everything else she’s tried, but it’s not her fault things haven’t worked out. Her family isn’t happy when she takes a job providing transportation for vampires and she thinks this just might be her best fit as she likes to drive. She starts to question that when arriving a day late in picking up Mr Sutherland, who has a major stick up his butt and a sixteen page contract that she’s expected to follow during their trip from WA to KY.If anything can go wrong it will, but her philosophy and unpredictability has Collin Sutherland coming out of his shell. Definitely a funny tale and I hadn’t realized when starting it that it was only a novella. I hadn’t read any of the author’s vampire stories and since reading this one, I’ve read the first two Jane Jameson stories.The character and world building are well done considering the length of the story, and as with every other book I’ve read by this author, it’s the characters and situations that make this an enjoyable read.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 3/5
      I have read the Jane Jameson series and enjoyed them. Driving Mr. Dead does an excellent job of tying itself to that series. There are a number of references to Jane and her undeniable ability to find chaos in all the wrong places. Well not to be out done, Miranda has the most uncanny ability to find trouble in all the wrong places. Can we say what can go wrong will go wrong. She's the Stephanie Plumb with vampires.

      The book takes a slow and steady pace as it spins a hilarious tale of an inept chauffeur and an out of touch vampire. While I did enjoy the the book, it may have benefited from a little more intensity in the romantic aspects of the story-line.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      Molly Harper does the funny vampire store as well as anybody.
      Nice little novella for a rainy afternoon read.

      In the same world as her Jane Jameson books, this is a strong and silent vampire who happens upon a klutzy, sweet and ultimately very strong woman who makes his undead life complete.

      This ain't no Dracula, but it is a lot of fun.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 3/5
      This book was okay. I was not overly impressed, but I didn't hate it. It was listed as a humorous, but I didn't have that many LOL moments. The meaning "everything that can go wrong, did go wrong" is an understatement in this book. It was a little over done, in my opinion. It is short, which helps it, but doesn't encourage me to read the rest of this series.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      Short and sweet. Both words here apply: the story is only a novella = short, and there is a blossoming romance = sweet. I liked it better than I thought I would - there is a great sense of humor throughout.  It's not so much a "vampire" novel as a romance novel that has a vampire character. In fact, other than the vampirism being an explanation for the circumstances of the main characters meeting, there are no "supernatural" abilities required in the story (though they are used a couple times, this is not a significant component of the storyline). I'd read more by this author, in this vein, if I wanted a light and quick read with a sense of humor and without a lot of deep thinking, darkness or gore.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      Oh my goodness, I love Molly Harper's sense of humor. Even in a well-under 200 page novella, she manages to write a darn good story and make me laugh out loud more than once. The story of a road trip gone horrifically wrong, Driving Mr. Dead would make anyone who has ever had a less-than-stellar experience in a car feel about a million times better, because surely, surely you haven't lived through the horrors that comprise Miranda and Collin's trip from Washington state to Half Moon Hollow, Tennessee. Both Miranda and Collin are new characters, but readers will hear about Jane more than once, see both Iris (yay!) and Ophelia (yep, still scary), and not be at all shocked to see where we find another beloved character from the Nice Girls books and even less surprised to see what he's doing at the time. Driving serves as a nice bridge between the last Nice Girls book and the yet-to-be-released first in the Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires series.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      Listened for Fun (Audible)
      Overall Rating: 4.50
      Story Rating: 4.50
      Character Rating: 4.50

      Audiobook Rating: 4.00

      First Thought When Finished: What a very fun listen!

      “I was thinking that after spending much more time together, we could determine whether you want to spend the rest of your life with me. Whether you feel the way I do. I think I could make you happy … barring natural disasters, mechanical failure, inadvertent public nudity, and pestilence pouring forth from the sky.”― Molly Harper, Driving Mr. Dead

      Story Talk:This was such a cute story. I love that Miranda was a walking disaster and the vampire transport service was the perfect setting for this story. If something could go wrong, it went wrong in the most hilarious sort of way. Driving Mr. Dead was a fun, sexy, wild ride!

      Character Talk:Miranda was a wonderful lead character and almost as much fun as Jane Jameson. She was a walking hazard zone and just got into trouble at every turn. I just adored her! Colin was smexy, tight-assed, and the exact opposite of Miranda. He hasn't met a rule he doesn't love. Together they are just fantastic! They will keep each other on their toes for many years to come :)

      Audio Talk:
      Narrated by Amanda Ronconi at a running time of 5h 2m 31s
      I loved the audiobook. Amanda has just enough snark to pull these characters off without a hitch. She does this series well. I will say that I am not a fan of her man voices but the women voices more than make up for it!

      Final Thought: I am looking forward to the second book. I will start it immediately.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      This book had me laughing almost from the start. An anal retentive vampire and a clutz. What a combination! The book was short (novella) but it still managed to pack it's pages with robust characters and scenes. And of course any visit back to Half Moon Hollow is guaranteed to keep you amused. I especially loved when the heroine decked her fiance. Overall I thought the book was great. Well worth a read.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      Driving Mr. Dead was a lot of fun! It was great to see things from the perspective of the humans this time around. It was just as funny and interesting as the Nice Girls Don't series. The romance was really sweet, and I liked all the characters. Miranda and Collin were great together and had me laughing out loud a few times. Also, I loved having some of the awesome characters we've come to know and love from Half Moon Hollow present in this spin off. Overall, it was a great short read and I definitely recommend it.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      I listened to this on audiobook. This is the first in Harper’s Half Moon Hallow series which features different characters from her Jane Jamieson series but is set in the same world. The second book in this series, The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires, features different characters than this book and released in July 2012.Miranda is in the middle of a broken engagement and has disappointed her laywer parents so much that she just needs a change of scenery. So Miranda takes a job with Beeline, Half Moon Hallow’s only vampire concierge service. Her first client is the obsessive compulsive and extremely difficult Collin Sutherland. When everything goes wrong that can go wrong will Miranda lose her job or will sparks fly between her and the most difficult vampire ever?This book was a short, quick and fun summer read. Parts of the book are absolutely hilarious. The situations that Miranda and Collin find themselves in are laughable and improbable.Miranda (like all of Harper’s heroines) is quirky, spunky, and prone to disaster...yet somehow absolutely lovable. Collin comes off as standoffish and obnoxious initially, but grows into someone charming and funny. They have great chemistry together and the scenes between them sizzle...sometimes into literal explosions.The plot is very simple and romancy. Basically Miranda and Collin are trapped on a road trip together and initially hate each other. Of course through a series of events they grow to adore one another. Definitely not brain food here...also fairly predictable. Still it is a fun, hilarious, feel-good read. Great for summer reading or brainless enjoyment.Overall a fun little read. Hilarious and full of quirky characters, witty banter, and improbable situations. Fans of Harper’s Jane Jamieson series will find a lot here to love. Highly recommended to those who enjoy humorous paranormal romance. I’ll definitely be checking out The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires when I am in the mood for a light and fun read.

      1 person found this helpful

    Book preview

    Driving Mr. Dead - Molly Harper

    MORE ISSUES THAN NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC

    2

    We did not manage to become bosom companions in those first few hours on the road. Mr. Sutherland sat in the backseat, silent and taciturn, alternately glaring out the window and checking our progress against an atlas. Did he give me information from the atlas while I struggled to find our way back to civilization? No, he just grimaced every time I made a turn, which was super-helpful.

    The plan for this excursion to Half-Moon Hollow, Kentucky, was that I would drive as far as I could each day and well past sunset, letting Mr. Sutherland sleep during the day in the little car cubby. We would pull over at carefully chosen roadside motels at a reasonable stopping time so I could eat and rest. Mr. Sutherland didn’t have a driver’s license, so he would not help out with the wheel time.

    As I said, that was the plan. But, as in most cases where I was involved, that plan went awry. Terribly, terribly awry. Thanks to our late start and my accidentally looping around Tacoma twice, we reached a motel at 2 A.M. It could not come soon enough. After nearly twenty-eight hours without sleep, I was getting a little punchy. Falling asleep at the wheel and killing myself would be a really bad way to finish up my maiden voyage.

    We had not reached the vicinity of the approved first-night motel choices. We weren’t within fifty miles of those choices. There was not a Ramada or a Holiday Inn in sight. Now, the one-story, nondescript-beyond-the-dripping-rust-stains-on-the-exterior-walls Pine Heights Motel? That we had.

    I pulled the car to a stop and jumped out without a word to Mr. Sutherland. I didn’t feel obligated, since he hadn’t spared one for me since we’d pulled out of his driveway. I walked into the office to book two rooms, studiously ignoring the fact that the rooms were only thirty-two dollars per night and that the clerk gave me keys—real, old-fashioned, metal keys on honest-to-goodness plastic tags. Also, his emphasis on the pay-perv-view channels as an amenity really creeped me out.

    When I emerged from the office, feeling significantly less confident in the accommodations than when I’d walked in, Mr. Sutherland was leaning against the car, glowering at any object that crossed his field of vision.

    This motel, if you can even call it that, is unacceptable. Miss Puckett, if you will review the preapproved itinerary—

    I did read it, all sixteen pages, I told him. And unfortunately, we weren’t able to make it as far as planned—

    Unacceptable!

    Whether you accept it or not, that’s the way it is! I shouted back.

    Mr. Sutherland squinted at me again, which was either his idea of intimidation or he had some strange facial tic when he was angry. He snatched the key from my hand. And my credit card, if you please. I don’t believe I can trust you with purchasing decisions.

    I slapped the card into his outstretched palm, then yanked the rear door open and dropped his overnight bag at his feet. Counting down from ten, I cleared my throat, hoping that I sounded the least bit contrite. Look, we are on the road. Traveling is unpredictable. There will be contingencies. You are just going to have to accept that the days will not go completely according to plan.

    Mr. Sutherland smiled nastily. I’ll be sure to tell your supervisor you said so. He spun in the direction of his room, without a glance back at me. Good night, Miss Puckett.

    I pressed the heel of my hand against my sternum, hoping to quell the tension building there as he walked away. Mr. Sutherland slipped the key into the door to 6C, pointedly ignoring my presence. I glared at his back, praying that I could keep my mouth shut and get my ass into my room before I chucked a loose cement block at his head. Calm, I told myself. Stay cool. Do not concuss the client.

    And then I remembered the disdainful little sneer he’d given me when my shoes dripped on his precious floor. And the snotty way he’d informed me that I wasn’t responsible enough to be trusted with his credit card. No, he was not going to get away with talking to me that way. I would not put up with that bullshit for three more nights.

    You know what, you are a real piece of work.

    He turned to give me an incredulous look.

    I cleared my throat and tried for a more respectful tone. Not because I was working for him but because, you know, he had fangs. If you feel the need to contact Ms. Scanlon, I don’t suppose there’s anything I can do to stop you. He smirked slightly, before I added, But if you plan to call now, I think you should consider how you’re going to get home.

    He didn’t offer me another glance as he slammed his room door shut.

    I opened my door and shut it behind me, whacking my head against the state room-tax notice. A familiar rise of panic burned my throat at the idea of returning home early, of seeing Jason before I was ready. But if Mr. Sutherland was going to tattle on me, there wasn’t anything I could do to stop him, so I might as well get a good night’s sleep. Sighing, I dropped my bag onto the bed and scanned the dismal little room. It was too dirty to be considered Spartan, too outdated to be considered retro. The carpet may have been a sort of burnt orange at some point, but it was now more of a knotty brownish gray. The bedspread was the same paper-thin synthetic fiber used in all cheap motels. I had no doubt that long after the nuclear winter, future civilizations would visit our planet and find scratchy motel bedspreads flapping across the earth’s wasted landscape. I made a mental note to toss that particular specimen to the floor and avoid touching it for the remainder of my stay. I was not sleeping on that thing.

    I checked my phone again, finding that Jason was down two calls to my mother, who had called a total of ten times that day. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I calculated the time difference. It was 5:30 A.M. in Kentucky, which meant Mom would be up and on her treadmill already—just another way in which I wasn’t living up to her high standards. She picked up on the first ring.

    Sweetheart! she cried. Why haven’t you called?

    Because you’ve been calling enough for the both of us? I suggested dryly.

    Well, I just wanted to know that you’d arrived safely. She was using the unreasonable client-quelling voice that she used as one Puckett in the firm of Puckett and Puckett, Attorneys at Law. This was not a good sign.

    Mom, my father, and my brother, Glenn, practiced in the long-held family firm, their shiny law degrees from the University of Kentucky displayed together in a three-part frame. There was supposed to be a fourth frame, but I hadn’t finished the requirements for a bachelor’s degree, much less law school.

    I rubbed at my left eye, which tended to twitch when Mom used the voice on me. Which was why I texted you as soon as I arrived in Tacoma.

    Yes, she protested. But I want to know how it’s going!

    Now, most people would consider that the sweet, interested curiosity of an involved parent. But my mother had ulterior motives. Mom didn’t want me to tell her how well I was doing or what Mr. Sutherland was like. She wanted to know if I was tanking ahead of schedule, forcing me to come to my senses and drive my butt back to Half-Moon Hollow, where I was safe and contained.

    As much as her assumptions of disaster hurt, I supposed she had good reason. At the tender age of twenty-six, I’d launched failed careers as, among many other things, a photographer, a pastry chef, a magician’s assistant, and a florist. Mom and I suffered from an opposition of life philosophies. I tried to think of life as the search for the next great adventure. I liked waking up each morning not knowing what I would be doing by the end of the day. I liked learning new things, throwing myself into new situations, even if it meant a few bumps and scrapes along the way. But ultimately, I was a guidance counselor’s cautionary tale. Mom blamed the public-school system and insisted that the family should have sent me to St. Bridget’s Academy across town, even if it meant having to convert.

    We were about as old money as a family could get in Half-Moon Hollow. Pucketts were pillars of the community. We served on committees and councils. We funded buildings and restored memorial statues. We sponsored youth sports teams and hosted Labor Day picnics for state senators.

    Well, that’s what my family did. I served the community in more of a judge ordered me to sort of way. Until the previous year, I’d been the family embarrassment, the college dropout, the kid who never quite made it into the Christmas newsletter. My shameful status was temporarily revoked when—

    Have you called Jason? Mom asked.

    —when I agreed to marry Jason.

    I let out a long, slow breath. No. The point of me taking this trip is that I have space and don’t have to talk to Jason, so I can figure out what I want.

    Mom sniffed. Well, he’s worried. I know you’re upset with him, but he’s worried about you. He asked me to pass that along.

    "Hmph."

    I really think you should just come on home. I know you’re hurt, honey, and I’m not saying you don’t have good reason. But you can’t run away from your problems. I’m so worried about you, out there on your own. And how are you supposed to do … whatever it is that you’re going to do concerning Jason unless you talk it out?

    I tugged at Jason’s tasteful diamond engagement ring, hanging from a sturdy chain around my neck. We did talk it out, Mom. We have spent hours talking around and around this Lisa thing. We spent a whole weekend getaway at the lake talking about it. I canceled the wedding. I keep giving his ring back, but he finds some way to slip it to me again. We’re never going to break out of this weird, pointless cycle unless I have time to figure out what I want, without him hovering over me with apology flowers, apology candy, apology jelly.

    Apology jelly?

    Yeah, I didn’t get that one, either, I muttered.

    "Well, I don’t think this temp job—Mom said the words with as much contempt as good manners and the Botox injections that kept her from expressing the full range of human emotions permitted—is the answer to your problems. And besides, we miss you around the office. It’s just not the same without you."

    I’ll bet. I chuckled, genuinely laughing for the first time all day.

    Despite the fact that I lacked only two credits for my certification, I was a terrible paralegal. Filing systems made my head hurt. I could not handle rude clients in the delicate, pacifying manner prescribed by firm policy. And every time I used the Xerox machine, I posed a danger to myself and others.

    But since the spectacular failure of my photography studio in Chicago, I’d been training under the aging Mrs. Whitaker to take her place as the primary support staffer at Puckett and Puckett. My parents were well aware that I wasn’t an asset to their office. But they wanted to know that I was safe, that I was taken care of. And ultimately, I think that was why they liked the idea of my marrying Jason. He was safe. He would be a good provider. And he would probably keep me from setting fires with most household appliances.

    Mom, everything’s fine here. I’m enjoying my time on the road. I sighed. I’m sorry to disappoint you.

    Oh, sweetheart, how could you say that? You know I’m only worried about you. I would think that you would want to come home, just so I would know you were safe. I just want you to be happy.

    As long as it was her preferred brand of happiness.

    "I like this temp job, Mom. It was really nice of Iris to hook me up with this assignment. She knew I wanted to get out of town to clear my head, and she helped me out. And believe it or not, I’m actually qualified for the work. I’ve moved almost a dozen times over the last eight years. I have a lot of experience driving back and forth across the country, I said, taking the phone away from my ear long enough to pull a White Stripes T-shirt over my head. And the one thing that you can say proudly is that I have a pristine driving

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