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    The Geek Handbook: User Guide and Documentation for the Geek in Your Life
    The Geek Handbook: User Guide and Documentation for the Geek in Your Life
    The Geek Handbook: User Guide and Documentation for the Geek in Your Life
    Ebook117 pages1 hour

    The Geek Handbook: User Guide and Documentation for the Geek in Your Life

    By Mikki Halpin

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    About this ebook

    He has reached every level of Myst. Her room is littered with soda cans. He idolizes Data from Star Trek®. But all your favorite geek really wants is to be understood....
    Whether you're friends with a geek, work with one, love one, or hate one, The Geek Handbook provides handy instructions for analyzing and understanding all things geek, including:
    How Your Geek Relates to Others
    Geek organizations and gathering spots
    Getting Your Geek to Exercise
    Klingon martial arts as workout strategy
    The Geek Diet
    Soda, pizza, and other geek food groups; how to help your geek thrive
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPocket Books
    Release dateMar 14, 2001
    ISBN9780743417761
    The Geek Handbook: User Guide and Documentation for the Geek in Your Life
    Author

    Mikki Halpin

    Mikki Halpin wrote the essay "A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys" for Bunnyhop, and it quickly became an Internet classic, earning Mikki a special place in geekdom. She was editor-in-chief of the online magazine Stim; co-founded the classic 'zine Ben Is Dead; and has written for many publications, including Wired, BookForum, Studio Mix, The Independent, and BUST. She is the author of two books. She lives in New York City.

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      Book preview

      The Geek Handbook - Mikki Halpin

      FIRST CAME OUR COMPUTER CULTURE. THEN CAME THE SOCIETAL PHENOMENON KNOWN AS … the geek.

      Do you know someone who:

      Consumes about ten cans of soda a day?

      Camps out overnight for a ticket to the new Star Trek® movie?

      Rushes home on her lunch break to get in an hour of SimCity™?

      Hoards every piece of technical equipment he has owned since childhood?

      Considers the Macintosh vs. PC question to have far-reaching religious consequences?

      If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you’re dealing with a geek. But don’t worry. THE GEEK HANDBOOK will help you not only understand your geek’s behavior but also celebrate all the exciting features and applications that geeks can offer.

      An Original Publication of POCKET BOOKS

      POCKET BOOKS, a division of Simon & Schuster Inc.

      1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

      www.SimonandSchuster.com

      Visit us on the World Wide Web:

      http://www.SimonSays.com

      Copyright © 2000 by Margaret Halpin

      All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

      For information address Pocket Books, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

      ISBN: 0-7434-1776-3

      ISBN-13: 978-0-743-41776-1

      eISBN: 978-0-743-41776-1

      POCKET and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster Inc.

      this book is for my mother my friends and all the geeks in my life

      Acknowledgments

      Five years ago Victoria Manasserro Maat and I wrote A Girl’s Guide to Geek Guys for our friend Noël Tolentino’s zine Bunnyhop. It was a humorous little essay suggesting that women look beyond the typical male to the underappreciated geek. Little did we know that it would take on a life of its own on the Internet through mailing lists, the Web, and the intervention of HotWired. Last time I checked it was on over 300 Web sites, in five languages. Geeks love to read about themselves! Thanks to Victoria, Noël, and Seth for that initial inspiration—now maybe people will believe me when I say I wrote it.

      This book would not have been possible without five amazing women: my agent, Lydia Wills; my editor, Kim Kanner; and my friends Marjorie Ingall, Georgia Rucker, and Marcelle Karp.

      Others who deserve thanks and praise are: Katy Lain (xo), Jill McManus, the G-girls, Halle und Eva, Wellington Fan, Jen Dalton, Nicholas Butterworth, Sadie Plant, Gareth Branwyn, Susannah McDonald, Dakota Smith, Anne Bray, Liz and Ingrid, Michelle and Robin, Lizanne Deliz, Andrea Juno, Danielle Claro, K-Neg, Peter and Lynette, Margie Borschke, Greg and Kim, Zelig, Cynthia Heimel, Darby Romeo, and my many friends both online and off. 6yb!

      You can reach me at www.thegeekhandbook.com

      Contents

      Chapter One: Getting Started

      1.1 The Conventions Used in This Handbook

      Why your geek isn’t really yours

      1.2 How to Use This Handbook

      Reference, maintenance, troubleshooting

      1.3 Do I Have a Geek?

      A helpful diagnostic

      1.4 You and Your Geek

      The various models and configurations. Features and tips

      Chapter Two: Basics

      2.1 The Inner Geek

      Understanding your geek’s emotional landscape

      2.2 Communicating with Your Geek

      The interpersonal infobahn

      2.3 Geek-to-Geek Relations

      How geeks behave in groups. The role of role-playing

      2.4 Upgrading Your Geek

      Encouraging your geek to perform more complicated tasks

      Chapter Three: Maintenance

      3.1 The Importance of Preventive Care

      Make the most of the container you’ve got

      3.2 Your Geek’s Diet

      Assessing your geek’s dietary needs. Altering your geek’s nutritional program

      3.3 Your Geek’s Cycles and Routines

      Running on machine time, not biological

      3.4 Your Geek’s Moving Parts

      A fit body is more efficient, honey

      3.5 Common Geek Bugs and Suggestions for Fixes

      Nip those nasty start-ups in the bud

      Chapter Four: Living in a Geek World

      4.1 Planning for the Future

      Your geek’s legacy

      4.2 Your Geek’s Lifespan

      Life extension and risk management

      4.3 Your Geek’s Role in the New Economy

      Life in a technocracy

      4.4 Geek Values Go Global

      How geek culture can change the world

      CHAPTER 1

      GETTING STARTED

      1.1

      The Conventions Used in This Handbook

      The subtitle of this book is User Guide and Documentation for the Geek in Your Life. The term user is an artifact from other manuals of this type. Of course you don’t want to think about using your geek, and owning or operating your geek doesn’t sound much better. Geeks, more than anyone else, are their own people. A geek cannot be purchased, leased, or rented, although time-sharing

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