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    Over 700 Witty & Humorous definitions: Ways to live happily
    Over 700 Witty & Humorous definitions: Ways to live happily
    Over 700 Witty & Humorous definitions: Ways to live happily
    Ebook709 pages1 hour

    Over 700 Witty & Humorous definitions: Ways to live happily

    By R.K. MURTHI

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    About this ebook

    V&S Publishers, for the first time in the annals of examination preparatory course materials, is presenting an 'Olympiad Online Test Package' absolutely FREE OF COST. It comes free, corresponding to the Olympiad book/s you buy. It will help students to Practice and Take more than 50 Tests in all prescribed Subjects in Class 10. The Subjects are Mathematics (IMO), Science (NSO), English (IEO) and Cyber (NCO).

    Online Test Package Salient Features:

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    The printed Online Test Voucher enclosed with this book inside the box contains a number which we call as Activation Code. You simply have to log on the website, register yourself, enter activation code & start taking tests. In addition, you also get one CD to study and practice offline. The Activation Code is a unique number that corresponds to the book you have purchased. Terms & Conditions and instructions are given inside. #v&spublishers

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherV&S Publishers
    Release dateJun 1, 2015
    ISBN9789350572856
    Over 700 Witty & Humorous definitions: Ways to live happily

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      Book preview

      Over 700 Witty & Humorous definitions - R.K. MURTHI

      Zero

      A

      ABSENCE

      Makes the heart grow fonder.

      Diminishes little passions and whips up great ones.

      ABSENT-M IN DEDNESS

      Searching for the horse one is riding.

      ACCIDENT

      An inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable natural laws.

      —Ambrose Bierce

      What is caused by the nut behind the wheel.

      ACTOR

      One who tries to be everything but himself.

      The star of the tinsel world.

      His emotions are rarely ever his own.

      ACUPUNCTURE

      A jab well done.

      Pin pricks.

      Turns one into a pin cushion.

      ADAM

      In all history, he still stands out as the only indispensable man.

      One still wishing he never had lent the rib to shape Eve.

      ADULT

      One who has stopped growing except in the middle.

      An obsolete child.

      ADULTERY

      What man call gallantry and Gods adultery/Is much more common where the climate is sultry.

      —Lord Byron

      Something exclusive to adults.

      ADVENTURE

      The champagne of life.

      —G.K. Chesterton

      Makes one’s hair stand on ends.

      Thrills that provide the frills for life.

      ADVERTISEMENT

      Cheapest way of selling goods particularly if the goods are worthless.

      —Sinclair Lewis

      Art of persuading others of what one does not believe oneself.

      —Abba Eban

      Field where meretricious mesmerists of mellifluous mendacity operate and thrive.

      Rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

      ADVICE

      Free tip that nobody takes.

      Everyone gives it; but there are no takers.

      Money spinner for lawyers, doctors and professionals.

      One readily accepts it when it comes with a bill.

      Universally ignored.

      What we give by the bushel and take by the grain.

      Pass it on. It is of no use to oneself.

      —Oscar Wilde

      What is sought to confirm a position already taken.

      AGE

      Supposed to make one wise. Supposed to!

      Time when the novelty has worn off.

      Time to realise that setting the world on fire is a figure of speech.

      —Franklin P. Jones

      AGENT

      One who takes his commission on all your gains, not your losses.

      A middleman who bamboozles one party and plunders the other.

      AID

      Process by which you collect money from the poor people in the rich countries to give to the rich people in the poor countries.

      AIR POLLUTION

      A mist demeanour.

      Killer blanket.

      ALIMONY

      Penalty for not staying single or staying married.

      A tax paid for the pleasure of getting rid of a no-longer wanted source of pleasure.

      A new impost that makes one go broke almost by the 10th of the month instead of the 20th when the ties were normal.

      Duty for freedom from marital bonds.

      A debt that a former husband would like to see cancelled.

      A go-no-pay-later plan that benefits the fair sex.

      ALTERNATIVE

      A new option that mostly takes one from the frying pan into the fire.

      Deft tinkering that often makes things worse.

      AMERICA

      Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

      —Arnold Joynbee

      A nation that thinks it’s the world’s heart throb.

      AMOUR

      Ability to make love frivolously, something man alone displays.

      Passion’s barb.

      ANATOMY

      It is something that everyone has, but it looks better on a girl.

      ANGER

      Anger is not an argument.

      —Daniel Webster

      Temperature at which one loses one’s cool.

      Two per cent moral, 48 per cent indignation and 50 percent envy.

      —Votrio De Sica

      A kind of temporary madness.

      APARTMENTS

      House divided.

      Whose thin walls encourage eavesdropping.

      APOLOGY

      What the strong extract from the weak.

      Unsaying something in such a way as to leave it unsaid.

      Politeness too late.

      APPEASER

      One who feeds a crocodile… hoping it would eat him last.

      —Winston Churchill, Argument

      An ape trying to work out a peace that isn’t there.

      APPLE

      One that the general practitioner hates.

      One mistakenly identified as the forbidden fruit.

      The cause of many discords.

      APRIL 1

      Day on which we are reminded of what we are on the other 364.

      ARCHAEOLOGIST

      His future is in ruins.

      The older his wife grows, the more precious she becomes.

      ARCHBISHOP

      A non-ecclesiastic rank, a rank superior to that attained by the Christ.

      —HI. Mencken

      Prime arch that bridges God with the flock.

      ARGUMENT

      More sound, little logic.

      When two people try to get the last word first.

      ARMY

      A body of men assembled to rectify the mistakes of the diplomats.

      Where one can still be a child, beat a drum and march to the tune, dressed up in clothes that have stars and stripes.

      ART

      Is energy shaped by intelligence.

      Is man added to nature.

      Is a lie that makes us see the truth.

      ARTIST

      One who works with his hands, brain and heart.

      Superior to the labourer and the craftsman. For labourer works with his hands. Craftsman with his hands and brain.

      ASSASSINATION

      Extreme form of censorship.

      Perquisite of rulers.

      ASTROLOGER

      His best stories are those spun around planetary charts.

      His career lies in stars.

      ASTRONOMY

      The star-gazer’s dreamland.

      The science of peering at the privacy of stars in motion through telescopes, even space telescopes like Hubbies, and forcing the stars to stop winking and blinking and to get ready for a blind date with the star-gazer.

      AUCTIONEER

      One who is always ready for a bid.

      One who knows nothing is final till the hammer hits the table thrice in succession.

      AXIS

      Imaginary line that the earth takes on its daily round.

      Imaginary line that sticks to its slant.

      B

      BABY

      An angel whose wings get smaller as its legs grow longer.

      A bawl on top, a drain at the bottom.

      An alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the

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