Lucy

Cover photo by Can Stock Photo

Cover Design by Author

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This book is dedicated to all our former classmates: Jenny K. Abigail D. Jim S. Jerry M. Diane B. Samuel F. Abraham L. Karen G. Nancy W. Annie L. Robert H. Sandra J. Michael C. Billy W. Shirley S. Christy L. Doris N. Nicolas H. Karen Z. Barbara M. Parker F. Raymond Z. Donna K. Lola S. Sherry B. Mark P. Lily L. Debbie R. Sam T. Glenn C. Linda H. Margaret D. Harriet D. John J. Catherine C. Carolina L. Larry S. Tim B. Kimberly S. Laura K. Ruth S. Brian S. Mary M. Mitch S. Beth R. Paul B. Patricia F. Patty G. Chuck C. Harold E. Tina D. Donald W. Bobby R. James J. Helen H. Eliza R. Keith B. Charles G. Robin Z. Teresa S. Rosemarie A. Barry L. Tameka L. Kelly J. Jeanette R. David S. Pamela N. Walter S. Jessica V. Philip S. Jason W. Larry K. Don K. Mickey S.

P R O L O G U E

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This is a story of emerging love, from innocence to struggle in contemporary reality of school life with all its bullying and growing pains. It’s hard to be a teen dreaming about happiness, to live and understand it all...

Sex is about love, but love is not only about sex. Too many choices can trick your mind and break your heart. Love is difficult to catch, and when you doubt it, it is like falling down in bottomless pit; but love can come unexpectedly, like a white Pegasus from the sky, in the FULL GLORY!

CHAPTER ONE

Lucy has never been kissing. She didn’t have any curiosity about it. Until now. Her twelfth birthday. She has been living in the big, white house in very prominent neighborhood in Tallwood, SC. The trees there had been really tall; some of them reached 180 feet.

Her family was well to do, but Lucy didn’t care. Very rarely she had a joy to see her parents; they both traveled most of the time. They have had conservative values, where everything was in the right place, predictable. In her upbringing all was controlled, home schooling, not too much TV. She could watch only computer-selected programs suitable for her age. No cell phone; only home phone in the lobby, where nanny could hear every conversation. It was a big house; almost a mansion. There was a room downstairs, complete with a fifty inch TV. There was inside a heated pool and bigger one outside. Something else was surprising: The big tree was growing inside the house. It was an old, tall oak tree growing out through a special opening in the roof, giving shade to the whole house during hot summer months. Lucy practically was cared for by Nanny Suzie, fifty years old grey haired widow. They became very close friends; Lucy could ask and tell her anything. Many questions were about parents, like How come they’re never home?

Nanny had always said They work very hard, but they will be home for Christmas.

Do they love me? Lucy often added with tearful eyes. Suzie had always answered: Oh yes, they do! My dear, they have no choice, they want to be rich for you. Besides, you’re the only one and they love you so much.

I don’t care; I would rather have them home. Lucy insisted.

But you enjoy your big garden; you must know that it cost a lot of money.  And

She quickly added, noticing that such problems are remote for Lucy:

Don’t worry, I am here and I’ll never leave you, I love you.

Then she hugged sweet girl while kissing her cheeks.

I love you too. said Lucy and run out to the garden. She did not know a lot of things yet, even the fact that she was very pretty. She had big blue eyes, clear as the sky, and was rather slender, tall, maybe a little too skinny. Her golden hair hung like cascade running down her long neck, almost reaching the waist. She really looked like a princess. Sometimes, she would change her hair color to black, so she would pretend to be a sister of Samantha, her best friend. She did not see, or was conscious of her beauty and that made her even more sweet and innocent.

Her kingdom was a large garden, where she had her secret spot. There, Lucy spent every free moment of her life. Her home school teacher, Miss Knapp, was patient and warm, but kept her distance more than nanny Suzie did. For Lucy, her garden was like heaven under the invisible dome; safe and isolated from the outside world. She has been thoughtful, gentle, nature loving person. There, she have had asked her first questions, like How come this world is so beautiful and what it all came from?

Nature is voiceless, so Lucy simply enjoyed her Eden. She observed and started to recognize different kinds of grass, from tall, waving with a smallest breeze to short, dense, ground covering masses of green. She had been giving names to every creature she saw, from frogs to singing birds.

Hey, guys, make me some new music today.

Sometimes, completely immobile, she was able to observe a cricket sitting on the tip of her finger.

Why do you have to be so totally pretty, like a piece of jewelry?

Butterflies swirled around the flowering garden and around her flowery dress with no distinction between the two. Lucy danced and giggled:

You are tickling me with your wings.

One day in early spring, she had noticed birds kissing. Sometimes, she could see on TV kissing couple, a man and a woman, but was not allowed to continue to watch it. While living in her oasis and being home schooled, she did not know too much about the boys and did not associate them with kisses. All she knew was that love existed in fairy tales, where the Prince and Princess loved and kissed each other and lived ever after. 

Five years ago.

When she was 7 years old, she had a visitor in her secret place. It was a gardener trimming the privacy bushes. He was short, little heavy and not very young, at least in Lucy’s eyes. He came in silently, like a snake. He said,

I’m sorry; I didn’t want to scare you.

While she calmed down, he continued his impudence,

Are you here alone and bored?

Lucy answered, No, I play games with butterflies and buzzing bees.

And he said,

If you like games, I know one you may like even better, we can play it together.

What kind of a game? Lucy had asked intrigued, tell me, tell me.

Okay, but you have to do exactly the same thing as me, Okay?

Okay, she smiled at him, completely tamed.

Look at me he said and took of his pants. Now, do the same."

Lucy was confused,

I do not have pants, what do I remove?

What do you have under the dress?

Under the dress I have panties.

So, remove your panties.

Why? She asked, This is part of the game, so, if you’ll show me what you have under your panties, I will gladly show you what I’ve got, he explained. Lucy, surprised, mumbled: Hmm...Uhmmm...Ugh...no. Gardener suddenly took off his own underwear, displaying his big, erected manhood. He quickly grabbed stoned with fear Lucy pulling down her panties while kissing her neck. Lucy took by surprise, let out a wild and loud scream; it frightened the attacker who quickly fled. 

Nanny Suzie heard the scream, run outside and had asked Lucy what happened.

Nanny, do you know this game?

Lucy didn’t even finished her story, trembling, when she didn’t recognize the new, strange appearance of Suzie, who widely opened her eyes, became pale, flushed after a moment, her face twisted in a grimace which Lucy has never seen before.

Hastily, she spilled out the words like seething water from overheated pressure cooker:

What? I can’t believe it! What a motherfucker. Oh. My. God. What a fucking dirty asshole, what a miserable fucker, I’ve gotta kill this bitch!

Suzie was about to continue, but had noticed frightened face of Lucy, who has never witnessed such an explosion of anger.

Why do you want to kill him? He didn’t do anything bad, he just wanted to play and I became little scared.

Nanny stopped and bent toward Lucy,

I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean it. It’s a way of talking, civilized people don’t kill anybody.

So, why are you so angry at him?

Nanny tried to explain, talking fast, nervously,

He wanted to do something wrong. This is a very bad game and he is a bad man. An adult male never should play like this with the young girls. You’re a kid and he wanted to hurt you, remember, and always come to me if such a thing happens.

Yes, nanny. Lucy said trustfully. Nanny added,

You did very well trusting your instincts, little princess; now, can you please go to your room while I’ll make a phone call. 

From her room, Lucy had heard nanny’s voice, saying something about sexual predators with a decisive and hard voice to the person on the phone. The gardener never came back.

Lucy has forgotten the incident. She was coming back to her dream garden, playing her favored games with birds and butterflies.  As she grew up, her curiosity about world, about love was no longer satisfied by home schooling. Miss Knapp didn’t want to answer those questions, especially about love and kissing. She used to say,

You are too young for that, you’ll have all your life to discover.

Lucy started to pay more attention to the surrounding world. The birds kept kissing tenderly, lovingly, until they flew away, out of the garden; giving her idea about the world bigger than her secret spot. Unknown was intriguing, and contained unclear but seducing ideas. Her curiosity grew bigger and bigger. Sometimes she kept dreaming about her prince, coming from far away. Lucy began to dream of something distant, wanted to see everything.

I want to be loved and kissed by someone like a sweet prince. One day he will come from the sky, on a white Pegasus with huge wings of poetry and take me away from my nest. We’ll go far to the sky and we’ll fly... fly... fly...

CHAPTER TWO

The question about the kiss became persistent and almost obsessive. Whom can Lucy ask about it? Suddenly, she realized that her best friend Samantha is one year older than she is. She is now 13, so she must know something. She said to herself,

I’ll ask her today!

It was 5 o’clock, time for Samantha to come,

I can’t wait to ask her about that. Lucy thought.

They have been friends since always. Their moms both knew each other from High School. They were neighbors and lived only a five minute walk away. Lucy and Samantha had grown up together. One year difference of age did not have any meaning. They understood each other and were close as sisters, talking about everything. Samantha was a brunette, little shorter than Lucy and not as skinny. Her dark hair curled naturally and she was more talkative than Lucy was. Her laugh was loud and happy. Despite the difference of characters, they liked to be together, trusting each other totally. Because Samantha was a little older, she had a caring attitude toward Lucy.

The garden had become their place. They came out here almost every chance they got to be alone. They had their spot and their secrets.

Lucy once more glanced at her watch and heard the familiar, resonant voice of Samantha. For the moment, the birds stopped singing.

Hello Lucy, are you there?

I’m here, Sam, Lucy yelled back. Sam came quickly, out of breath. Hey.

Hey you, Lucy answered, adding: Do you want something to drink? There is an orange soda on the iron table.

Sam said fast and loud:

Are you kidding? I’m always thirsty; besides, it’s the end of June in South Carolina and 95 degrees.

She ran to the table and gulped a whole bottle.

Oh, I’m sorry, I’m such a bitch, nothing left for you, sis.

There is a full cooler of drinks under the table. Lucy laughed.

What is that tripod for? Samantha asked. I’m photographing flowers, they in full bloom now, but it is so hot that it won’t last, they wither quickly.

Girls spent the rest of the afternoon chatting, laughing as they drank sodas in the shadow of the nice smelling pine tree.

Oh, I almost forgot to ask you something, Lucy said. What? Sam asked.

It is about the kiss.

What about it?

Lucy chuckled; I want to learn how to kiss, how the boys are kissing. Do you know how they are doing it? Have you ever been kissed?

Sam was amused.

Well? Lucy was little disconcerted. Sam shrugged:

No.

Lucy was truly disappointed, but remembered that Sam was also home-schooled, so, as Lucy, did not have many opportunities to meet boys. Sam suddenly jumped up.

Wait, I remember something. Tomorrow, my cousin Mark comes to visit us, with his parents. They always talk a lot, enjoying their beer. They will not draw any attention to me going somewhere back home with Mark. I will ask him.

Lucy, with excitement, Is he nice? How old is he? Is he handsome?

Yes, he is a handsome 14 years old boy.

Do you think, Sam, that he knows all this stuff?

I’m almost sure he knows all about kissing; he goes to public school and I think everybody there knows more than we do.

Yes, Sam, I know; we are like living in a cage, isolated from real life.

Don’t worry, Lucy, we will learn, sooner or later.

What kinds of guys do you like, Sam? What is your type?

Well, Samantha replied and took a deep breath.

I like power. He does not have to be too tall, but strong and muscular. His shoulders should be broad and he must have strong hands. Maybe even have dark hair and be tanned. Ideally, his whole body may be covered with tattoos.

Even his face? asked astonished Lucy. No, tattooed face would be too much, but I don’t mind few piercing.

Lucy replied thoughtfully, How to kiss with piercing in the mouth? It’s probably uncomfortable.

I didn’t think about it.

Lucy insisted with her questions. You said nothing about the character and I think it’s very important.

Sam, stuttering a little, said,

I don’t know, but if you love somebody, character is not so important.

And what if you quarrel?

Sam chirped, So, you apologize to each-other and, as they say: After storm your love is more intense than before.

And you, what kind of boys do you like? What’s your type? Sam asked, looking at Lucy with curiosity and amusement. Lucy was silent for a while, and then she began to speak,

I do not like to argue, my boyfriend should be quiet and serious.

I’d be bored with such a boyfriend, mine should be loud, happy, and making me laugh and dance with me all the time. Sam interrupted.

My boyfriend may have some distance, as long as he is thoughtful and have some artistic interest, such as photography.

Sam added, How about his looks? You are tall girl; he can’t be too short, like until the height of your bra. Lucy had burst with laughter,

Of course not. There are a lot of handsome, tall boys.

So what exactly is your type?

Lucy started dreaming: A tall, blue eyes, golden hair, not too overgrown muscles, but handsome, you know, like a prince; wise, educated.

Oh, you are maybe too difficult to satisfy. Sam exclaimed.

You too, Samantha, in your own way.

They both knew they had different tastes but now, in silence, they kept dreaming about their princes while looking into horizon. Twilight came quickly, time to go home.

See ya, sis Sam said.

Until tomorrow. Lucy replied with hope.

CHAPTER THREE

Lucy came back to the house around seven, still excited after talking with Samantha. She slowed down the steps at the entrance to quietly open the door. She did not like to make loud sounds, as not to scare nanny. Usually, she has heard Suzie bustling in the kitchen, but this time it was the silence.

Suddenly, she heard the sobs coming from the kitchen. Lucy quickly ran over to Susie.

Nanny, nanny, what happened?

Nothing, baby, I’m fine.

Nanny tried to wipe the tears, but the red nose betrayed her cry.

But I can see that something’s wrong, please tell me what it is because I have no secrets for you, I tell you everything. So? Lucy waited. Nanny lowered her head and said quietly: I have a daughter in Los Angeles.

I know, and so what? Lucy insisted. After a long while Suzie finally said:

She is very sick, she has cancer.

It has to be healed; I know that LA is known to have very good hospitals. Lucy answered and tried to comfort her:

Be positive, today almost everything can be cured.

Lucy wanted to know all. Did she go to the hospital?

Yes, she did.

And What?

She had radiation and chemotherapy Suzie answered.

So, it’s all going to be fine. Lucy assured.

Well, everything was on the right track, but the treatment cannot be completed.

Why not? Lucy could not understand. Because insurance refused to cover the cost of the whole treatment. They say something about pre-existing condition, just discovered by their agents and their policy is not including that.

I don’t understand. Lucy said, I think everybody has a pre-existing condition in their genes, Miss Knapp told me so in my biology class.

Nanny said with sadness: It’s so complicated; I’m out of ideas about what to do in order to help my daughter.

Wait, Lucy said; I have an idea.

What is it, my dear? Nanny asked through tears.

Somehow I know everything will be all right Lucy said decidedly. Nanny nodded and looked at Lucy with sympathy and gratitude. After a while she has heard Lucy talking on the phone in the lobby.

Hello, can I speak to Doctor Amber McCormick, please?

Suzie knew about Doctor Amber, but never made a connection and didn’t even know that she is an oncologist. Now, she suddenly understood Lucy’s optimism, but could not longer listen to the conversation, being at the edge of nervous breakdown.

Who is calling? Voice on the other end said.

Lucy, she knows me. Lucy said with trembling voice.

I’m sorry, we don’t take private calls, this is a hospital. Voice said.

I’m close family and this is an emergency, please, let me talk to her, Lucy begged.

"Ok,