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    Social Mania Mom: Social Mania Mom, #1
    Social Mania Mom: Social Mania Mom, #1
    Social Mania Mom: Social Mania Mom, #1
    Ebook55 pages29 minutes

    Social Mania Mom: Social Mania Mom, #1

    By Tracy Heath

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    About this ebook

    Tracy’s a social media nut, and she’s not afraid to admit it. This book is full of zany posts she’s written over the years, compiled into categories like “Ain’t Got No Maid,” “Toddler Talks,” “Crazy Tracy 101,” and much more. As a housewife and stay-at-home mom, she always has something silly going on that demands documentation. Here are a few select lines from the book:

    “I ponder why I always have holes in my socks as I sprint out to the trashcan in my newest pair. This shall always remain a mystery to me.”

    * * * * * * *

    “Sometimes it's the little things we take for granted--like can openers. They work so much better than teeth.”

    * * * * * * *

    “Sam is standing at the sink gargling salt. Little Buster, always the imitator, is standing beside him gargling his banana.”

    * * * * * * *

    “Having a dishwasher go on strike really makes you ponder the deep things in life, like whether you are really hungry enough to dirty a dish.”

     

    So if you need a good laugh and enjoy the humor of everyday life, pick up a copy today!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTracy Heath
    Release dateOct 19, 2013
    ISBN9781497722552
    Social Mania Mom: Social Mania Mom, #1

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      Book preview

      Social Mania Mom - Tracy Heath

      Introduction

      You’ve heard the phrase Savor the moment. Well, I do. I laugh myself silly right before leaping across the room to my old, duct-taped laptop and updating the world about the latest shenanigan in the Heath household. And boy, do we have a lot of them.

      My husband, Sam, just gives me that long stare with a hint of a smile and says, There’s no privacy around here. I nod as I tap away on the keyboard, a chuckle escaping my lips. Humor and privacy don’t really go hand in hand. Now humor and embarrassment—that’s a different thing altogether.

      The comedy spotlight of this book definitely rests on the biggest character in the household. Well, actually he’s the smallest one—our three-year-old son, Little Buster. He got a heavy dose of goofball from Sam and zaniness from me, and the combination makes for some great entertainment.

      This book is a collection of humorous social media updates (with a few funny replies from friends) representing what this housewife and mom has to endure every day. From cooking catastrophes to toddler calamities to the randomist insights into life—it’s all here. It’s the crazy, goofy, off-the-wall life of a social mania mom!

      Sections

      Section One—Crazy Tracy 101

      Section Two—Food in All Its Catastrophe

      Section Three—Coexisting with a Toddler

      Section Four—Ain’t Got No Maid

      Section Five—Author’s Got Problems

      Section Six—Toddler Talks

      Section Seven—Aimless Facts and Advice

      Crazy Tracy 101

      Considering how many wrong feet today has already started out on, it's days like these that make me so thankful I'm a millipede.

      * * *

      My husband just gave our dog his medicine on a chip. Minutes later, our son asked for a chip and I questioned him, Do you want that with or without worming medicine?

      * * *

      Being a klutz kind of has its benefits, like being popular back in grade school for my Dorito bruise—yellow with black spots. Sometimes I wish I was back in grade school.

      * * *

      I looked out the window and thought, Why is there horizontal rain? Then I realized it was the sprinkler.

      * * *

      Sometimes I feel a little bit guilty for my lack of interest during football season with all my hardcore, fanatic friends around. Then I shrug my shoulders and move on with my life.

      * * *

      I don't know much about football, but I sometimes wonder if it would be more effective to use the tickle tackle? Seems to work

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