Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    God's Factory
    God's Factory
    God's Factory
    Ebook48 pages43 minutes

    God's Factory

    By Terry Morgan

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Arthur Smedley Godley - wide boy and proprietor of Godley's Garden Gnomes and Godley Investments gives lessons on money-making to a strange but very quiet visitor.
    Sitting in his white leather, executive chair behind his white desk, Godley pontificates about his success to the visitor who sits silently in rapt attention.
    Godley can talk endlessly and knows all there is to know about opportunism and money making. It started, we learn, with swindling a boy out of his sausage at school lunch. Godley's knowledge has no limits and success is there for all to see from the Bentley parked outside the front door next to the sunflowers ("they have such big heads and rise above everything else") to the thick pile Chinese carpet - given in return for once helping a Chinese man find "a bit of flooze around Harrod's in Knightsbridge".
    And Godley's business?
    Well, he runs Godley's Garden Gnomes from a rundown, old, red- brick factory around the back - but it's really the front for his main venture, Godley Investments. Godley is a loan shark with a couple of big boned salesmen and a trouble shooter - Titibola - "six foot three, huge tits and a face like Joe Frazier".
    And the visitor soon hears about Godley's deep business philosophy based mostly on a picture book about dinosaurs. "Sniff it out and snuff it out I always say."
    And being a business guru and self proclaimed "God's gift to the local economy" he decides to compare himself to the other God.
    And that old God made many mistakes, including being overstaffed. "He runs interviews for washed up individuals and those who have already given up hope" - and most of them pass the interview and get in.
    But how has Godley been so successful? Well, his own slogan sums it up: Godley's Garden Gnomes satisfies a whim, but Godley Investments feeds the greed.
    "They all want rid of their mortgages and overdrafts but there's no sense of compassion from the banks and so they come to me. They need presents for their kids at Christmas, a new car, a new fridge or washing machine. So, who do they ask? Debt Busters - also known as Godley Investments. Never say no, that's me. You've got to have a kind heart."
    With so much talking, though, his throat gets dry. No longer able to resist a drink from his well equipped cocktail cabinet and desperate to show his visitor his famous PowerPoint presentation ("where every graph points upwards") Godley starts to lean a few lessons himself as his interest in dinosaurs takes on a frightening form.
    His PowerPoint presentation transforms itself into a full scale, 3D spectacular - in full Technicolor - of a prehistoric jungle complete with a roaring Tyrannosaurus Rex that stumbles around Godley's desk. Finally, plunged into complete darkness, Godley hears the Voice.
    Terrified and unable to see anything and with the Voice appearing to know everything about him including his bank account details and PIN, he is forced to log onto his bank account and transfer its entire contents to a company called Godly Investments.
    So begins Godley's own lessons from someone who claims to be his Chief Executive "out on a trouble shoot."
    "You see, Godley," the Voice explains, "You can't just take a company name without it being ratified - particularly one called Godley Investments. I already own the trade name, the brand name and the marketing and distribution rights. With your track record, I wouldn't even be willing to grant you a franchise."
    Godley is no Scrooge and we never find out whether the experience changes his ways, but, like a short, twenty first century version of Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol", Arthur Godley certainly learns a few lessons and perhaps others might as well.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTerry Morgan
    Release dateJul 12, 2014
    ISBN9781310567872
    God's Factory
    Author

    Terry Morgan

    Terry Morgan has been writing stories and poetry for over twenty five years, mostly while he “lived out of a suitcase”, travelling with his own exporting business. With over seventy countries under his belt (some of them so many times he lost count) he now lives with his Thai wife, Yung, in Petchabun, Thailand with occasional visits back to friends and family in the Forest of Dean and the Cotswold valleys around Stroud, Gloucestershire, UK.He writes novels with a strong international, business and political flavour, commentary on biology and environmental matters and, when he finds time, less serious humour and political satire.Check out his website www.tjmbooks.com.

    Read more from Terry Morgan

    Related to God's Factory

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Chocs AWAY!

      Feb 7, 2024

      ‘One hundred and twenty-one… one hundred and twenty-two… one hundred and twenty-three,’ said Mr Dear. ‘I’m off then, love,’ I said, popping my head around the kitchen door. ‘Sorry? I… D’oh! Now I’ve lost count’. Mr Dear is counting sweets, and not ju

      3 min read

    • Article

      The Sound Of Crickets

      Jul 10, 2022

      The Sound Of Crickets
      9 min read

    • Article

      Journey INTO SPACE

      Jan 17, 2024

      "When I got back home from walking the dog, Mr Dear was washing the windows and singing a merry window cleaner’s song: ‘The blushing bride she looks divine, the bridegroom he is doing fine I’d rather have his job than mine, when I’m cleaning windows.

      3 min read

    • Article

      True To His Roots

      Mar 26, 2023

      True To His Roots
      5 min read

    • Article

      Mr Dear NAILS IT

      Mar 18, 2020

      “Let’s enjoy a brief respite this week from The Strange Mystery of the Missing Handbag, which has caused so much unnecessary drama at the charity shop. We’ll also temporarily gloss over the embarrassing problem of Graham, the old flame who has sudden

      3 min read

    • Article

      Fall-down COMEDIAN

      Apr 11, 2021

      Fall-down COMEDIAN
      3 min read

    • Article

      Talking RUBBISH

      Jul 1, 2020

      “It was like a moment from a Noël Coward play. You know, the bit where the lovers meet again for the first time in many years and it’s all slightly formal and awkward. There always seems to be a moment like that in a Noël Coward play. Not that I’m

      3 min read

    • Article

      Socks APPEAL

      Dec 21, 2022

      Just about the only bad thing about this job are the deadlines. They loom over you, and they’re often armed with blunt instruments. One of the nice things about the job is that, just when a deadline is poised to strike and you think you have nothing

      3 min read

    • Article

      Good Bones

      Mar 19, 2020

      Good Bones
      18 min read

    • Article

      One Man’s Hobby and His Marvellous Shed

      Mar 4, 2022

      The first thing you see at the door of the Matthews Vintage Collection is a gleaming red Singer Roadster. It looks as though it should be starring alongside Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in a big-budget movie. It’s a magnificent introduction to the collect

      4 min read

    • Article

      Desk Flowers

      May 6, 2021

      Desk Flowers
      11 min read

    • Article

      The Garage Mahal

      Mar 27, 2023

      The Garage Mahal
      9 min read

    • Article

      New DATING

      Mar 2, 2022

      New DATING
      3 min read

    • Article

      Good news, BAD NEWS

      Nov 30, 2022

      The good news is that I’m still married. And the bad news? Well, we’ll come to that in due course. It is true that a temporary frost had descended over Dear Towers, as you’ll remember if you were good enough to visit last week. This was because Mr D

      3 min read

    • Article

      Anna Campbell-jones

      Feb 23, 2024

      Anna Campbell-jones
      6 min read

    • Article

      Perv-O-Shine And Sleep Vaping: 23 Things I Learned About The World – And Myself – At Glastonbury 2023

      Jun 26, 2023

      Sure, sure, it’s hot, and you’re not going to shower, and this will force some choices at Glastonbury that you wouldn’t make in regular life: shorter shorts, for instance, or a hat. This doesn’t even come close to explaining the wild precision, the c

      7 min read

    • Article

      Laugh A Little

      Sep 11, 2020

      Question: When should you stop for a glow worm? Answer: When he has a red light! Question: If a wizard were knocked out by Dracula in a fight, what would he be? Answer: Out for the count. Question: Why did the witch give up fortunetelling? Answe

      2 min read

    • Article

      My Pitch

      Nov 27, 2023

      My Pitch
      2 min read

    • Article

      Box Of Treasures

      Nov 27, 2020

      Box Of Treasures
      7 min read

    • Article

      Laugh A Little

      May 8, 2020

      Laugh A Little
      6 min read

    • Article

      Chop-chop

      Feb 6, 2020

      Chop-chop
      6 min read

    • Article

      A Bit Of Moxie Greg Dixon

      Dec 1, 2019

      When you announce, perhaps a little too grandly for your own good, that you’re throwing in the city for the good life in the country, the first thing people say is “how brave”. This is to be expected. You are showing off; they think you’re bonkers. I

      3 min read

    • Article

      New NEIGHBOUR

      Oct 21, 2020

      “It was a cold rainy morning and Mr Dear was staring out of the sitting room window. He does this because a) he thinks it makes him look wistful and sensitive, and b) he knows it annoys me when I’m dusting because he could be lifting up all the usele

      3 min read

    • Article

      The Art Of Conversation

      Nov 1, 2023

      The Art Of Conversation
      4 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for God's Factory

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      God's Factory - Terry Morgan

      GOD'S FACTORY

      Terry Morgan

      Copyright 2014 Terry Morgan

      This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only and may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      First published in the United Kingdom in 2014 by TJM Books

      www.tjmbooks.com

      ISBN: 9781310567872

      The right of Terry Morgan to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

      'God's Factory'

      A light-hearted diversion from Terry Morgan’s normal serious fiction!

      Arthur Godley, proprietor of Godley's Garden Gnomes and Godley Investments meets his maker in unusual circumstances and, in the process, learns a few costly lessons. A short, twenty first century version of Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol.

      GOD’s FACTORY

      I'm Arthur Godley - Godley by name and Godly by nature. Take a pew, mate. I won't be long.

      From behind his expansive white desk, Arthur Godley briefly glanced up at his visitor over the top of his tinted spectacles. Noticing that something wasn't quite right, he then pushed them to the top of his head. Not there, mate. The sofa is reserved for special occasions. This chair here is the one I use for ordinary visitors........Yes, that's the one.

      Arthur Godley, proprietor of Godley's Garden Gnomes of Krupton continued to tap away at the keyboard on his desk and then stared at the result on the computer screen.

      That's strange. I tapped in five million and only half a million came up. He tried again. That's better - must have spilt some coffee on the nought.

      He then took a large calculator, tapped some more keys and peered at the result. Bloody hell. Bless my socks. I've made more than I thought.

      He straightened the big knot of his bright red tie, flicked at something invisible on his white shirt with its long, pointed collar and pulled on the gold cuff links. Satisfied that they now pointed in the direction of his guest, he leaned forward and looked at him.

      I understand, he said, that you've come to find out why the local rag, the Krupton Weekly News and Journal, has started calling me a local business guru, God's gift to Krupton business and the town's economic saviour.

      His visitor nodded.

      They are right of course, Godley went on. But I'm not sure how long you've got and my success might take a while to explain. I can show you my PowerPoint presentation if you like. I show it to all those who want to know why I've succeeded where so many others have failed. However, I usually start my explanation by suggesting a quick peek out of my window.

      Godley put his glasses on the desk, pushed his white leather executive swivel chair back, stood up and waded across the thick pile carpet to the biggest of the two windows. He pulled on a cord. I'll open the Venetian blinds so that you can see the view. Stand up. Come here.

      His visitor stood up and walked silently to the window.

      "There. Impressive, isn't it.? There's not much that's impressive over the high brick wall, but the landscaping on my side makes the most of the total dereliction that once surrounded us, don't you think? You will

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1