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    This Book Will Get You Laid
    This Book Will Get You Laid
    This Book Will Get You Laid
    Ebook154 pages2 hours

    This Book Will Get You Laid

    By Emma Dickens

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    About this ebook

    "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus", told us what men and women were thinking about each other; "He's Just Not That Into You", told us where women were going wrong; and "The Rules And The Game", told women and men respectively how to attract a partner. But there has never been a book which shamelessly gets right down to the basics, aimed at both sexes - and does so with a sense of humour. After all, sex is meant to be fun, right?

    "This Book Will Get You Laid" takes the age-old dance between men and women and strips it down to its bare essentials - how to catch the eye of your chosen victim, sorry, loved one; how to make initial contact (or 'Moving in for the Kill'); foolproof mechanisms for persuading them to come back to your place; and, once there, how to make all their clothes fall off as if by accident. The rest is up to you...

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMichael O'Mara
    Release dateMar 30, 2012
    ISBN9781843179092
    This Book Will Get You Laid

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      Book preview

      This Book Will Get You Laid - Emma Dickens

      ...

      Twenty Questions – Who Are You?

      So here you are, reasonably good-looking, pretty intelligent, sound of body, mind and spirit. Yet the last time a woman voluntarily went back to your flat was when you were interviewing for a new cleaner. What’s the problem? You need a long, hard ... look at yourself. Yes, I know quizzes are a bit girly, but go with me on this. Have a look at the questions below. Don’t take too long thinking about your replies – just go with the first one that feels right. You’ll be on the road to recovery in no time.

      Conclusion

      Now add up your total number of a)s, b)s, c)s, d)s and e)s to find out who you are.

      Mostly a)s – Alpha Male

      You think you’re the life and soul of the party. You wear those jeans with the faded patches under the pockets: the problem is, spiritually if not sartorially you’re stuck in the 1950s. Women are either virgins or whores to you – and as far as you’re concerned, you’re a bit of a catch whoever they are.

      It’s not your fault, it’s your parents’. They gave you the idea that you were entitled to every happiness without putting in any effort – and that there would always be a woman around to take care of the boring shit. To your surprise, it’s not quite as simple as that in the real world.

      You have enough success with women to keep your high opinion of yourself pretty high. The good news with you is that you at least grab life by the bollocks, which is more than 90 per cent of the world’s population does. This is the single most attractive thing in a person and all sorts of people will forgive all sorts of crassness to be around it.

      The problems? You don’t often listen. Your intended prey may be smiling sweetly and nodding while you talk at her, but in her head, when she contemplates going home with you, images of mundane humping and waiting for you to climax persist. Bear this in mind when you’re wondering why you don’t have the roaring success with women that one with your charisma deserves. You think that if you look good, they’ll come running and you won’t have to do a thing. On the contrary, all of the most successful pick-up artists put effort in – they just disguise it well.

      For the future, work on listening to people. Have a conversation, rather than giving another lecture on how great you are. Try not to be slick, or too much of a poseur – it’s suspicious and off-putting. Instead, dig deep and find a bit of sensitivity. That, combined with your good looks and natural confidence, will reap big rewards.

      Mostly b)s – The Eternal Best Friend

      You’ve got more attractive female friends than anyone you know and you fancy all of them a bit. So why aren’t you getting laid more often? Your male friends say girls think you’re either gay or asexual. The girls who don’t share their view think they’re too dirty for you and you’ll die of shock if you go to bed together.

      I think your main problem is that you’re a coward: you’re always hedging your bets. You don’t have to be a red-blooded stud to be non-committal. You can just fail to jump feet first into anything – including sex.

      Perhaps you’ve convinced yourself that you’re a good guy who can’t seem to find the right girl. That’s the easy way out. You give mixed messages to your girlfriends – perhaps they’re your One, it’s just that the two of you haven’t realized it yet – keeping them all within reach. (You can tell if you’re one of these chaps by the fact that your girlfriends are never introduced to one another, and by the spitting rage you find yourself flying into whenever one of them gets fed up and gets a partner or, worse, gets married or has a baby.) In your mind you have a kind of modern-day harem of choices – it’s just that its members don’t know they’re in it.

      The good news is that you’re one of the good guys. At heart you are worried about hurting someone’s feelings. You’re not sure how you feel about her, so you don’t want to act

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