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    Lord of the Paper Clips
    Lord of the Paper Clips
    Lord of the Paper Clips
    Ebook35 pages26 minutes

    Lord of the Paper Clips

    By Shantnu Tiwari

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Long ago, in the mists of time (two weeks ago, actually), the Evil Lord, He Whose Name Must Never Be Spoken (Because It Is So God Damn Hard To Pronounce), Lord Shantnu created seven paper clips.

    One for the CEO, a real phony,
    Two for his ass kissing cronies,
    Two for Finance and Legal, dark regions of doom where none survive,
    And two for Sales and Marketing, places where customers are eaten alive.

    The paper clips gave the bearers great power, and twenty percent off in the staff canteen. Plus, they could be used to clean your ears.

    But they had all been fooled. For the Evil Lord had created an extra paper clip.

    One paper clip to rule them all. One to bring them together, and in the artificial light of the office, bind them. Made in China.

    And now, Dodo must go on a journey to destroy the Paper Clip. His pension and gym membership depends on it.  Short story.

    Lord Of The Paper Clips!  A tale of bravery, honor and valiant deeds. A tale where every problem will be solved by Deus ex machina, and the hero will defeat the villain by five pm, so he can go drinking.

    Real reader Review: “Your book got me in trouble. I was reading it on the train, and laughing so much, people were staring at me. They thought I was crazy or something. But I couldn’t stop reading!”

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherShantnu Tiwari
    Release dateJul 24, 2014
    ISBN9781501429170
    Lord of the Paper Clips

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      Book preview

      Lord of the Paper Clips - Shantnu Tiwari

      1

      Lord of the Paper Clips

      Long ago, in the mists of time (two weeks ago, actually), the Evil Lord, He Whose Name Must Never Be Spoken (Because It Is So God Damn Hard To Pronounce), Lord Shantnu created seven paper clips .

      One for the CEO, a real phony,

      Two for his ass kissing cronies,

      Two for Finance and Legal, dark regions of doom where none survive,

      And two for Sales and Marketing, places where customers are eaten alive.

      The paper clips gave the bearers great power, and twenty percent off in the staff canteen. Plus, they could be used to clean your ears.

      But they had all been fooled. For the Evil Lord had created an extra paper clip.

      One paper clip to rule them all. One to bring them together, and in the artificial light of the office, bind them. Made in China.

      This he kept for himself, and soon everyone, from the CEO down to the lowest typist, had become enslaved by the Evil Lord, who planned to squeeze the company dry and reward himself a big bonus (he was a banker, if that makes anything clear). This Paper Clip allowed the Evil Lord to control the whole company, and he planned to destroy it to make a quick buck.

      But by the strangest mistake, this One Paper Clip was lost, when an underpaid, overworked intern sent it to the wrong office by mistake. And some things, which should not have been forgotten, were forgotten. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to two days. The paper clip became legend and myth when the One Paper Clip turned up at the most unexpected place—the mail room.

      Dodo was working in the mail room, sorting mail, when he came upon something. As soon as he touched it, his body shivered. Ominous music started playing in the background. Dodo turned around and switched off the radio that had come on suddenly. Boy, this envelope must contain pollen, to which I'm allergic and which makes me shudder, he said, more to the reader than anyone else, as he was alone.

      The envelope wasn't marked, so he decided to open it. It contained

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