Overcoming: Discover How to Rise Above and Beyond Your Overwhelming Circumstances in Life

OVERCOMING

When the Lord called my husband, Paul, home, I stood at the crossroads of faith and utter despair as never before. Paul had been the undisputed head of our home, and when he died not only was I in deep mourning but I was also faced with myriad unfamiliar practical concerns. I was overwhelmed! Thanks be to God for the wonderful, godly counsel I received from Steve Mays. That the same powerful and practical counsel is now available in this book. At times of high emotion, deep hurt or the seeming unfairness of circumstances, it is necessary to have a spiritual compass to help guide us. Overcoming provides perfect direction!

DONNA P. ARLOW

Attorney at Law

American history is filled with overcomers—those who prevailed over racial injustice, broken families, physical danger or economic hardship. But why did they overcome? Were they lucky? Were they special objects of divine intervention? No. In each case, their ability to prevail was based on adopting a biblical way of thinking. Pastor Steve Mays, using his own personal experiences—both tragic and humorous—brings to light the simple but profound truths that produce an overcoming lifestyle.

DAVID BARTON

President, Wallbuilders

I can think of no better authority to speak on the subject of overcoming life's struggles than Pastor Steve Mays. The wisdom that he shares is not only grounded in God's Word but has also been tested and proven through his own experience. If you're someone who's questioning whether it's even possible to overcome your trials, you don't have to look any further than this author, and you won't have to read any further than this book.

PASTOR BOB COY

Senior Pastor, Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, Florida

As an educator in the second largest school district in the nation for almost two decades, I have yet to come across a teenager who does not need to know what Dr. Mays clearly and courageously explains in Overcoming. How are our teenagers to face the challenges thrown at them in life with minimal resources and the lack of proper guidance? What a huge sigh of relief to know that between the covers of this book lie answers that all can use to overcome with flying colors; especially the most precious treasure that constrains us to be agents of change in our nation today—our children.

DIANA FAATAI, M.A.ED.

Los Angeles Unified School District

Steve Mays does a masterful job of mining the depths of Scripture, particularly from the life of Paul, to teach us how to be overcomers. This is no academic study. Steve has learned through many serious illnesses, setbacks and betrayals how to find God, peace and contentment in the midst of suffering and discouragement. Steve provides many word pictures and illustrations, along with practical strategies, to help us deepen our walk with God and receive His comfort when our world seems to be falling apart. Whichever of the Big 13 problems you may be facing today (or tomorrow!), Overcoming can help guide you through and into the arms of Jesus, who gave everything so we might overcome the world!

TERRY FAHY

General Manager, KKLA Radio in Los Angeles, Salem Communications

Several years ago, I heard stories of Christians being persecuted in China. I received permission to go to China to meet with them. Before I left, a group of pastors who had been persecuted met with me to thank me for my efforts. I knew many of them had suffered much for their faith. I warned them of my concern that after I left China, there could be some retaliation for those who met with me there. One of the pastors grabbed my arm and said, "Congressman, please do not pray that we will not be sent to prison. We know how to suffer. If we are sent to prison, we will lead the prisoners to Christ. Today, many Christians feel overwhelmed with the circumstances of life. We feel like giving up if we cannot change those circumstances. Steve Mays, in his book Overcoming, describes how the power of the gospel of Christ does far more for us during those times than strengthen us and sustain us. The power of the gospel of Christ is what enables us to overcome.

CONGRESSMAN J. RANDY FORBES

Fourth District of Virginia

Pastor Steve Mays is a unique human being. By unique, I mean someone the likes of whom one rarely comes across through the journey of life. Pastor, husband, father, counselor, mentor, friend, confidant, encourager. He is all of these things and much more to his family and the people of his congregation at Calvary Chapel who know him so well. I have had the privilege of knowing Steve in the role he plays outside of his church. His sole preoccupation is bringing lost souls into the kingdom of God and nurturing them in the faith, no matter who they are or where they come from. I know he has ministered to leaders of nations and major organizations and church and secular groups of many kinds, all with one objective in mind: bringing the message of the Word of God. But what makes him truly unique in my eyes is that he had the desire in his heart and found time to minister to me and my wife even though we live in Australia, on the opposite side of the world from him. During my time as World President of The Gideons International I valued his input, wise counsel and friendship. He was also a willing and helpful sounding board After I completed my term of office, he became pastor, confidant, counselor and friend to my wife and me during an extremely challenging period in our lives. What do you say about someone who calls you from the other side of the world every few days to check that you are okay and to pray with you and demonstrate a great love and compassion for you? I am honored to call him pastor and friend…and he is indeed unique.

KEVIN W. FULLER

Past World President, The Gideons International

Steve Mays has done something important in this book: He has succeeded in reminding us that regardless of the circumstances that life brings to our doorstep, the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ are the central realities. There is a joy and transcendence in this book that flows from the generous soul of its author.

TIM GOEGLEIN

Vice President of External Affairs, Focus on the Family

Former Deputy Chief, White House Office of Public Liaison for President

George W. Bush

The biblical concepts shared by Pastor Steve Mays in Overcoming are powerful tools for the born-again believer's arsenal. This book is sure to spark an appetite for the Word of God. It is for anyone who aspires to rise above all circumstances and experience the level of freedom that God intended.

DR. RONALD C. HILL

Senior Pastor, Love and Unity Christian Fellowship

Life is going to be hard—of that we can be sure. But as Christians we know that God is in control of our lives. Whatever He does or allows to happen in the lives of His children is motivated by His everlasting love for us. My friend Steve Mays has seen his share of troubles, hardships and setbacks, but like the phoenix rising from the ashes, Steve always comes back stronger. Now, in his new book Overcoming, he shares how he has been able to do that. I know this book will be an encouragement to you as you face the hardships of life. Chuck Swindoll wrote, When God wants to do an impossible task, He takes an impossible individual and crushes him. Being crushed means being reshaped—to be a vital, compassionate, useful instrument in His hands. Steve is one of those instruments in the hands of God, and I trust this book will help you to become one as well.

GREG LAURIE

Pastor, Harvest Christian Fellowship

Steve Mays has been a dear and close friend for about 40 years, and we have been together through many experiences. As you read his book, you will see that he has been through many of the surgeries that can come in life. And when I say surgeries, I mean not just the physical surgeries, but all forms—physical, mental, spiritual, marriage, family, ministry, leadership and virtually most of what can occur in life. As Steve has gone through these fires, he has not only survived but also thrived. He has grown, and he has much to teach others on the subject of overcoming the trials and circumstances of life. I used to tell Steve that most people wait until they die before donating their bodies to medicine, but Steve seems to have done it now. Yet it is through these times when the Lord does so much of His great work in us. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Cor. 1:3–4). The apostle Paul knew the Lord had designed what he went through in life so that when he was comforted by the Lord, he would be able to comfort others. So too with Steve.

DON MCCLURE

Calvary Way Ministries

Overcoming is timely and encouraging. In an often defeated, overwhelmed culture, Mays's message resonates and challenges each of us to find the strength needed to achieve victory in Jesus Christ. We can overcome all that is holding us back. Pastor Mays shows us how.

KEVIN PALAU

President, Luis Palau Association

Steve Mays is one of our best Bible teachers, with one of the most popular teaching shows on our radio station. In Overcoming, he applies biblical wisdom to the real-world situations that certainly distract and many times overwhelm us, reminding all of us that we always have the choice to turn toward God.

FRANK PASTORE

Radio Host, The Frank Pastore Show

Salem Radio Network's KKLA, Los Angeles, California

How can you transform life's greatest challenges from barriers into stepping stones to lead to a meaningful and purposeful life? In Overcoming, my good friend Dr. Steve Mays provides time-proven biblical principles, combined with his personal experience and insight, which will enable you to overcome the barriers that are holding you back from experiencing and enjoying the purpose for which you were created.

TONY PERKINS

President, Family Research Council

Pastor Steve Mays is living proof that through all he has experienced in difficulty, crisis, suffering and life-long struggle, the grace of God is perfected in weakness. He has never wavered in faith or failed to trust the goodness of God. This book is a narrative that will bring hope and courage. God bless his story to every reader.

ROSS RHOADS

Chaplain, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association

I do not know anyone who is more qualified to deal with the subject of overcoming adversities than Pastor Steve Mays. He has spent more time on the operating table and had more operations than anyone I know. The thing that impresses me is his ability to bounce back from every trial with the joy of the Lord in his heart. I am certain that anyone who has faced problems and adversities in his or her life will find great help from the insights the Lord has given Steve, which he shares with us in this book.

PASTOR CHUCK SMITH

Founder, Calvary Chapel Movement

Overcoming is a must read. Steve Mays has authored a timely and relevant book full of hope. It may well be a life-changer for you.

JAY SEKULOW

Chief Counsel, American Center for Law and Justice

The life and ministry of Pastor Steve Mays is a commanding testimony to God's power and the perfect mirror for Overcoming. I believe this is the book God has been preparing Steve to write his whole life. Pastor Steve's outstanding teaching gift speaks through wisdom and discernment on overcoming failure, patterns of sin, poor choices and the daily grind of life that often leaves us spiritually empty and discouraged. Overcoming is possible, and Steve Mays provides the direction to get there!

JON WALLACE

President, Azusa Pacific University

© 2012 Steve Mays

Published by Bethany House Publishers

11400 Hampshire Avenue South

Bloomington, Minnesota 55438

www.bethanyhouse.com

Bethany House Publishers is a division of

Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan.

www.bakerpublishinggroup.com

Bethany House Publishers edition published 2014

ISBN 978-1-4412-6656-9

Previously published by Regal Books

Ebook edition originally created 2012

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Other versions used are:

AMP—Scripture taken from THE AMPLIFIED BIBLE, Old Testament copyright © 1965, 1987 by the Zondervan Corporation. The Amplified New Testament copyright © 1958, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

KJV—King James Version. Authorized King James Version.

THE MESSAGE—Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

NIV—Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

NLT—Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

TLB—Scripture quotations marked (TLB) are taken from The Living Bible, copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.

I wrote Overcoming during some of the darkest days of my life.

I thought I would never catch my breath, but I did. God placed one of

His very special angels right in front of me—day in and day out—

to show me the way back to His goodness.

That angel was, and is, my lovely wife, Gail.

Some call her the pastor's wife, others call her Mrs. Gail,

but those who know her best call her Mama!

Therefore, with great humility and love,

I dedicate this book to my love, Gail. Her joy has always been

irresistible, her smile is the sweetest thing to look at, and her strength

has blessed not only me but also a multitude

of people around this country.

Gail, you are, and always will be,

My little slice of heaven here on earth.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Foreword by Joni Eareckson Tada

1. Overcoming Discouragement

2. Overcoming Suffering

3. Overcoming Depression

4. Overcoming Fear

5. Overcoming Distraction: The Divided Heart

6. Overcoming Selfishness

7. Overcoming Criticism and Opposition

8. Overcoming Jealousy

9. Overcoming Weakness

10. Overcoming Deception

11. Overcoming Irresponsibility

12. Overcoming Anger

13. Overcoming Worry

Conclusion

Scripture Reference Guide

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Thanks to the many people who, after hearing my studies on overcoming the many issues in life, asked me to record my thoughts, my studies and my experiences into a book. Through the years, not only have I experienced and recorded many instances of overcoming my own hurdles, but as a pastor, I have also had the privilege of having others share their stories with me. Doing this has helped me to go even deeper in my study of God's Word and to bring this book to fruition.

Thanks to my co-writer and National Ministry Outreach Director, Melinda Kay Ronn, for her enthusiasm for this project, her tireless work in helping put this book together, and for bringing it to the attention of the publishing world.

Thanks to my good friend Don Modglin for his encouraging words and support over the years.

Thanks for the contributions of Kelly Click and Marian Guirguis, who helped with writing and editing; Tricia Bennett, my copyeditor; and Steve Chin, who also edited and helped manage the overall project. Thank you all for your labor of love and the many hours you spent helping to make this a reality.

I appreciate and benefited from conversations with friends and my staff at Calvary Chapel South Bay, who not only helped me with the critical critiques of the book but who also displayed confidence and shared encouraging thoughts that were desperately needed at times.

I appreciate the visionary insights and friendships of all those at Regal Books, including Steve Lawson and Bob Bever, who have made this journey so educational and inspiring.

Special thanks to my wife, Gail, to whom I have dedicated this book, for making all this possible through her prayers, love, counsel and generous support.

Last, but not least, my thanks to Jesus Christ, without whom this book would not have been possible. I thank Him for His strength, patience and enduring love that helped and empowered me to complete this project. To Him I give all the glory and praise.

FOREWARD

BEFORE YOU BEGIN…

It happens to every Christian—one minute you're spiritually skipping along, and the next, you've been ambushed. It could be a life-threatening illness or a sudden divorce, a painful injury that becomes chronic, or the death of a loved one. Fill in the blank with whatever overwhelms you right now. It comes with living in a fallen world.

Life can shrivel up when suffering becomes your dark and constant companion. You're able to keep your stride for a while, but in time, you find yourself spiraling into a whimpering slump. Is this me? you ask yourself in the mirror. Does God know what He's doing? Will I never experience release? Suffering can so sear the soul that you dread facing the day—and when night finally closes in, you pine for the morning.

My friend Pastor Steve Mays has been there. Yes, he leads a large Southern California church and preaches weekly; yes, he is a national radio broadcaster and author; but don't let the fame and titles fool you. Countless surgeries and injuries have forced him to go face to the floor. And when suffering overwhelms you like that, you search for someone, anyone, who might empathize. That's when Steve and I connected.

Long before we met, I had occasionally heard Steve's radio program on our local Christian station. His Bible teaching was honest and from the heart, and I appreciated his insights. It was only after we were introduced through a mutual friend that I began to realize how honest Steve's teaching really is. During a visit to my office, he shared his story with me—a journey through myriad surgeries on his back, neck and hips. Watching him smile through the pain, I thought, Here's a man who understands affliction. Here's a brother who abides in the fellowship of my Savior's sufferings. Here is someone who can understand…me. That's because I daily deal with pain, too.

That encounter began a string of notes, emails, phone calls and cards of encouragement—not to mention a few teaching CDs and books. At first I thought God had placed Steve Mays in my life so that I might lift his spirits—more than 40 years of quadriplegia and a decade of chronic pain somewhat qualified me to be an encourager. I soon realized it was only half the story.

God not only placed me in Steve's life to be a blessing, but also so that he could be a blessing to me. Around the time we met, I was struggling to free myself from my latest bout with pain. The jaws of nerve pain had clamped around my lower back and hips (how a quadriplegic like me can feel pain is still a mystery, but that's a different book :-). I was drawn to Steve's tenacious confidence in God…his