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Moments Together for Couples: 365 Daily Devotions for Drawing Near to God & One Another
Moments Together for Couples: 365 Daily Devotions for Drawing Near to God & One Another
Moments Together for Couples: 365 Daily Devotions for Drawing Near to God & One Another
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Moments Together for Couples: 365 Daily Devotions for Drawing Near to God & One Another

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Take Time Out of Each Day to Relax and Grow Together

In the midst of the stress and pressure of everyday life, Moments Together for Couples will give you and your mate a chance to pause, relax, and draw upon the strength of the Lord. This easy-to-use devotional helps you set aside anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes every day with your spouse to grow closer to God and closer to each other.
LanguageEnglish
Release dateOct 19, 1995
ISBN9781441266781
Moments Together for Couples: 365 Daily Devotions for Drawing Near to God & One Another
Author

Dennis Rainey

Dennis Rainey is the executive director and co-founder of FamilyLife and co-hosts the radio program, FamilyLife Today. He is senior editor of the HomeBuilders Couples Series, which has sold more than 1 million copies worldwide, and author ofParenting Today's Adolescent and The Tribute.

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    Moments Together for Couples - Dennis Rainey

    Praise for MOMENTS TOGETHER FOR COUPLES

    Here is a very helpful tool—a starting point—for couples who desire to experience meaningful moments with God. I highly recommend it!

    Henry T. Blackaby

    DIRECTOR, PRAYER AND SPIRITUAL AWAKENING, HOME MISSION BOARD, SBC

    Dennis and Barbara Rainey share powerful lessons they have learned in their own home, and acknowledge that committing each day to God as a couple is vital to their lives, their marriage and their family.

    Beverly LaHaye

    PRESIDENT, CONCERNED WOMEN FOR AMERICA

    Moments Together for Couples is an important tool in building a couple’s relationship with one another and the Lord on a daily basis.

    Josh McDowell

    AUTHOR AND SPEAKER, CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CHRIST INTERNATIONAL

    Dennis and Barbara Rainey invite us with wisdom and warmth to ponder the deepest questions of life and marriage in light of the life-changing power of the Word of God. Give yourself a break and start your morning with nourishment that will last more than the day.

    Dan B. Allender

    PSYCHOLOGIST AND AUTHOR

    For a busy couple that really wants to stay connected and continue to grow, Moments Together for Couples is an excellent tool. I highly recommend it.

    Scott Beck

    CHAIRMAN/CEO, BOSTON CHICKEN, INC.

    My dear friends Dennis and Barbara Rainey have captured my heart in Moments Together for Couples. These 365 daily devotionals are moving, authentic and encouraging. Watch out! After reading the first one, you will be joyously hooked.

    Dr. Crawford W. Loritts, Jr.

    NATIONAL DIRECTOR, LEGACY, CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CHRIST

    In reading Moments Together for Couples, it is Dennis and Barbara’s example of open and honest sharing with one another that helps motivate us to do the same.

    Brian and Wetonnah McCoy

    BOARD MEMBERS, INTIMATE LIFE MINISTRIES

    Moments Together for Couples is another home run for the Raineys. Today’s lifestyle is about pulling families apart, while the Raineys bring our focus back to God’s Word and keeping families together under stress. A real encouragement to couples who seek true intimacy in marriage.

    Mike and Myra McCoy

    CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CHRIST BOARD OF DIRECTORS

    If you are like me, Moments Together for Couples will touch something deep inside you. Dennis and Barbara’s warmth and personal vulnerability plucked my heart-strings. Their stories will fill your daily cup to overflowing with useful, down-to-earth insights. You will see yourself and your family mirrored on these encouraging pages. I promise—if you grab hold of this book, it will grab hold of you!

    Patrick M. Morley

    AUTHOR AND SPEAKER TO MEN AND LEADERS

    Dennis and Barbara Rainey have done it again! With down-to-earth, inviting and genuine hearts, they have welcomed us into their home and lives to experience God in a personal and intimate way. This collection of daily moments together will be on the Rosbergs’ coffee table to drink in during our intimate times of seeking the Father together.

    Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg

    PRESIDENT, CROSSTRAINER MINISTRIES AND AUTHOR OF GUARD YOUR HEART

    A timely collection of devotional thoughts for busy couples—practical words for husbands and wives who want to keep their trust in the Lord a daily focus and their commitment to each other a lifelong reality.

    Dr. Tim Kimmel

    AUTHOR OF LITTLE HOUSE ON THE FREEWAY

    © 1995 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

    Published by Bethany House Publishers

    11400 Hampshire Avenue South

    Bloomington, Minnesota 55438

    www.bethanyhouse.com

    Bethany House Publishers is a division of

    Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan.

    www.bakerpublishinggroup.com

    Bethany House Publishers edition published 2014

    ISBN 978-1-4412-6678-1

    Previously published by Regal Books

    Ebook edition originally created 2013

    Ebook cover update 03.19.2015

    All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

    Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

    All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are from the New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

    The following Bible versions are also used:

    NCV—Scriptures quoted from The Everyday Bible, New Century Version, copyright © 1987 by Worthy Publishing, Fort Worth, Texas 76137. Used by permission.

    NIV—Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

    KJVKing James Version. Authorized King James Version.

    TLB—Verses marked (TLB) are taken from The Living Bible © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.

    Some material taken from Staying Close by Dennis Rainey, Word Publishing, 1989. Used by permission from Word Publishing.

    Some material taken from The New Building Your Mate’s Self-Esteem by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1995. Used by permission from Thomas Nelson Publishers.

    Some material taken from The Tribute by Dennis Rainey with David Boehi, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994. Used by permission from Thomas Nelson Publishers.

    Any omission of credits is unintentional. The publisher requests documentation for future printings.

    CONTENTS

    Acknowledgements

    Introduction

    January

    January 1: Truth Demands a Response

    January 2: Making the Most of It All

    January 3: Resisting Crowded Loneliness

    January 4: God’s Box Top for the Family

    January 5: Amazing

    January 6: Communication or Isolation?

    January 7: Do Something of Value Tonight

    January 8: Do Something of Value Tonight

    January 9: Where Are the Men?

    January 10: My Wonderful Day

    January 11: My Wonderful Day

    January 12: Motives for Marriage

    January 13: To Mirror God’s Image

    January 14: Multiplying a Godly Heritage

    January 15: Filling the Gaps

    January 16: Laying Bricks or Building Cathedrals?

    January 17: You Will Find Rest

    January 18: Easing the Pressure

    January 19: Never Threaten to Leave

    January 20: Honoring Your Wife

    January 21: The Macho Myth

    January 22: Praying with Barbara

    January 23: Are You a Fake?

    January 24: Three Little Big Words

    January 25: What Ever Happened to Simplicity?

    January 26: A Fortress of Commitment

    January 27: The Riches of a Good Name

    January 28: The Need for Involvement

    January 29: The Need for Involvement

    January 30: Your Mate’s Mirror

    January 31: How Do You View God?

    February

    February 1: When Reality Hits Home

    February 2: Plugging into God

    February 3: Seizing the Moment

    February 4: The Mutual Admiration Society

    February 5: Adopted by God

    February 6: A Clash of Wills

    February 7: A Clash of Wills

    February 8: The Best and Worst of Times

    February 9: The Best and Worst of Times

    February 10: Accepting Your Mate Unconditionally

    February 11: Fathers as Servant-Leaders

    February 12: Why You Need Romance

    February 13: Foxes in the Vineyard

    February 14: Men of the Titanic

    February 15: Weak Enough for Grace

    February 16: Tutoring Your Mate (With His Permission)

    February 17: The Problem with Pride

    February 18: God’s Blueprints for Marriage

    February 19: God’s Blueprints for Marriage

    February 20: God’s Blueprints for Marriage

    February 21: Believing the Lie

    February 22: Chemical Reactions

    February 23: Avoiding Emotional Adultery

    February 24: Fearing God

    February 25: Fearing God

    February 26: Fearing God

    February 27: Fearing God

    February 28: Fearing God

    March

    March 1: Testing Your Authority

    March 2: Who Is Your Enemy?

    March 3: What’s Growing in Your Garden?

    March 4: What’s Growing in Your Garden?

    March 5: Opposites Attract—Then Repel

    March 6: I Never Really Knew Him

    March 7: Mission Field or Missionary?

    March 8: Help Wanted: Complementary Women

    March 9: Signs of the Times

    March 10: Signs of the Times

    March 11: Collecting the Right Stuff

    March 12: Famous Last Words

    March 13: Marriage Is a Three-Legged Race

    March 14: The One Flesh Challenge

    March 15: The Lifeline of Connection

    March 16: Slaying the Phantom

    March 17: Slaying the Phantom

    March 18: Slaying the Phantom

    March 19: The Case for Tender Men

    March 20: Is There a Man in the House?

    March 21: The Trouble with the 50/50 Plan

    March 22: Give Thanks…in Everything?

    March 23: A Basement Full of Fears

    March 24: The Top Five Fears List

    March 25: Good Fears

    March 26: Yielding to God

    March 27: Tougher than an Alligator

    March 28: At an Early Age

    March 29: Loose Lips Sink Ships

    March 30: The Prayer of the Helpless Parent

    March 31: Jim’s Story

    April

    April 1: Our Most Valuable Resource

    April 2: The Chain Saw Incident

    April 3: Parents as Protectors

    April 4: The Hinge of Christianity

    April 5: What Children Need to Know

    April 6: What Children Need to Know

    April 7: The Things Kids Will Say…

    April 8: Why We Rejoice

    April 9: Wasting Time Together

    April 10: Those Roving Eyes

    April 11: The I-Solution

    April 12: An Encouraging Word

    April 13: A Challenge for Men

    April 14: Answering Jesus’ Prayer

    April 15: The Illusion of Tomorrow

    April 16: Are You Compelled?

    April 17: A Day of Rest

    April 18: The Blessing of Burdens

    April 19: Great Expectations

    April 20: Daughters Need Fathers, Too

    April 21: Protecting Your Wife

    April 22: The Greatest Gift

    April 23: Faithful in Little Things

    April 24: A Faithful Man

    April 25: When Little Equals Much

    April 26: Toward a New Breed of Men

    April 27: The Forgotten Commandment

    April 28: The Forgotten Commandment

    April 29: The Forgotten Commandment

    April 30: The Forgotten Commandment

    May

    May 1: A Burden or a Blessing?

    May 2: Relationships Require Time

    May 3: The Most Important Thing

    May 4: The Most Important Thing

    May 5: Watch Your Step!

    May 6: Satan’s Schemes

    May 7: Defenses Against the Lion

    May 8: Wives Were Meant to Soar

    May 9: Dusting Each Other Off

    May 10: Failure and Forgiveness

    May 11: Seeing Is Believing

    May 12: Seeing Is Believing

    May 13: A Mother’s Influence

    May 14: Honor to Whom Honor

    May 15: Running to Win

    May 16: Running to Win

    May 17: The Parable of the Porcupines

    May 18: That’s Not Fair!

    May 19: That’s Not Fair!

    May 20: Walk Like a Man

    May 21: Cleaving and Commitment

    May 22: Faith: Key to Oneness

    May 23: True Faith Requires Action

    May 24: The Gentle Art of Confrontation

    May 25: Who Are You to Judge?

    May 26: Keeping Your Focus Clear

    May 27: A Confrontation Rewarded

    May 28: Why You Need the Spirit

    May 29: Why You Need the Spirit

    May 30: A Vacation to Remember

    May 31: Vacation Memories

    June

    June 1: Notes from the Real World

    June 2: God’s Landmarks

    June 3: God’s Landmarks

    June 4: The Character of the Committed

    June 5: What’s Your Target?

    June 6: D-Day for the Family

    June 7: D-Day for the Family

    June 8: D-Day for the Family

    June 9: Respecting a Respectful Husband

    June 10: What Does Submission Really Mean?

    June 11: You Can Make a Difference

    June 12: Become a Student of Your Spouse

    June 13: Keeping a Clean Slate

    June 14: The Seventy Times-Seven Club

    June 15: Looking at God’s Example

    June 16: A Vision for Your Family

    June 17: A Vision for Your Family

    June 18: A Vision for Your Family

    June 19: Bitter Last Words

    June 20: Rx: Laughter

    June 21: Is Abstinence the Goal?

    June 22: Where Are the Parents?

    June 23: Helping Your Children Maintain Innocence

    June 24: Broken to Be Mended

    June 25: Growing Up

    June 26: Understanding Sexual Differences

    June 27: O My Son Absalom!

    June 28: The Training of the Will

    June 29: Seven Stages of the Married Cold

    June 30: Making Diamonds from Coal

    July

    July 1: Pulling Weeds and Planting Seeds

    July 2: Pulling Weeds and Planting Seeds

    July 3: Pulling Weeds and Planting Seeds

    July 4: The Slippery Slope

    July 5: Being Different Together

    July 6: Big Little Words

    July 7: Entering the Attic

    July 8: Entering the Attic

    July 9: Entering the Attic

    July 10: It’s Never Too Late for God

    July 11: Protecting Your Children’s Innocence

    July 12: The Cosmic War Gets Personal

    July 13: Don’t Sin, Dad

    July 14: Men and Sex

    July 15: Narcissism and Selfishness

    July 16: The Insult-for-Insult Club

    July 17: Wrong Way Riegels

    July 18: The Lost Art of Thinking

    July 19: The Curse of Comparison

    July 20: How Deep Are Your Roots?

    July 21: Nobody’s Fault

    July 22: No Fault, No Responsibility

    July 23: Building Blocks for a Home

    July 24: The People on God’s Heart

    July 25: An Olympic Dad

    July 26: Three Dollars Worth of God

    July 27: Behold His Glory

    July 28: The Number One Threat to Families

    July 29: Managing a Monster

    July 30: Mid-Faith Crisis

    July 31: Setting Yourself Free

    August

    August 1: What Values Are You Communicating?

    August 2: He Was a Good Man

    August 3: Forward, Backward or Still Unfolding?

    August 4: The Great Cover-Up

    August 5: The Great Cover-Up

    August 6: Is There a Minister in the House?

    August 7: Living Fearlessly

    August 8: Guilty as Charged

    August 9: To Spank or Not to Spank?

    August 10: Sowing Words of Praise

    August 11: Complacency vs. Commitment

    August 12: Entering Lion’s Country

    August 13: Entering Lion’s Country

    August 14: An Agonizing Decision

    August 15: Reality Checks for Confrontations

    August 16: Staying in Focus

    August 17: The Law of Giving

    August 18: Running in the Ruts

    August 19: The Thump Test

    August 20: Me First!—Crowding In

    August 21: A Fellow Heir

    August 22: Tendto Your Riches

    August 23: Launching Our Arrows

    August 24: Launching Our Arrows

    August 25: How Many Caps Do You Wear?

    August 26: Christ in Every Room

    August 27: The Affair with Careerism

    August 28: Hellfire and Brimstone

    August 29: Hellfire and Brimstone

    August 30: Trust in a Sovereign God

    August 31: Parental Discouragement

    September

    September 1: Taking a Stand

    September 2: Decision Making in Marriage

    September 3: The Weight of Expectations

    September 4: Kids and the Image of God

    September 5: With Open Arms

    September 6: Discovering Something Beautiful

    September 7: Satan’s Lies to Families

    September 8: Satan’s Lies to Families

    September 9: Motherhood as a Career

    September 10: Worthy of Praise

    September 11: Accountability: Your Personal Alarm System

    September 12: Characteristics of the Unaccountable

    September 13: The Benefits of Accountability

    September 14: Accountability in Marriage

    September 15: Three Steps to Becoming Accountable

    September 16: Of First Importance

    September 17: Living with Differences

    September 18: The Greenhouse

    September 19: Dare to Risk

    September 20: Dare to Risk

    September 21: No Pain, No Gain

    September 22: The Treadmill

    September 23: The Finished Work of Patience

    September 24: Pleasing Your Mate

    September 25: Pleasing Your Mate

    September 26: Making Adjustments in Marriage

    September 27: Love Can Find a Way

    September 28: As the Years Go By

    September 29: No Pruning, No Fruit

    September 30: Priming the Positive Pump

    October

    October 1: A Woman’s Emotions

    October 2: A Woman’s Emotions

    October 3: A Woman’s Emotions

    October 4: Perfectly Clean

    October 5: I Believe in You!

    October 6: Spinning Plates, Broken People

    October 7: The Risk of Responsibility

    October 8: The Importance of Expressing Love

    October 9: Reaping What You Sow

    October 10: Whatever Happened to the Family Tree?

    October 11: Affair Proofing Your Marriage

    October 12: Men and Work

    October 13: The Value of a Listening Ear

    October 14: Too Heavy to Carry

    October 15: Gripes, Grumbles and Grouches

    October 16: Gripes, Grumbles and Grouches

    October 17: Needed: Spiritual Workouts

    October 18: Needed: Spiritual Workouts

    October 19: Dead Wood

    October 20: Discoveries from Difficulties

    October 21: Grant Her Honor

    October 22: Are You Listening?

    October 23: The Fear of Failure

    October 24: An Anatomy of Failure

    October 25: The Freedom to Fail

    October 26: A Date with Ashley

    October 27: The Authority of Christ

    October 28: The Authority of Christ

    October 29: The Authority of Christ

    October 30: The Privilege of Being Called Mommy and Daddy

    October 31: Good and Stressful

    November

    November 1: Leave Some for Home

    November 2: Raising Kids with a Sense of Mission

    November 3: Neither Death, nor Life…

    November 4: A Recipe for Memories

    November 5: Be Still!

    November 6: Parents Under the Influence of Children

    November 7: Consider Thyself

    November 8: Marriage Cement

    November 9: A Conspiracy of Silence

    November 10: A Conspiracy of Silence

    November 11: Solving Our Nation’s Problems

    November 12: Wanted: A Mass Movement of Women Mentors

    November 13: Time Out for Your Mate

    November 14: When the Heart Grows Faint

    November 15: Dealing with Discouragement

    November 16: Air-Brush Christians

    November 17: Leave It to Heaven

    November 18: Pebbles in My Shoes

    November 19: Pebbles in My Shoes

    November 20: Putting the Thanks Back into Thanksgiving

    November 21: Catching a Glimpse

    November 22: Focus on Relationships

    November 23: Barbara’s Surgery

    November 24: Barbara’s Surgery

    November 25: Wild and Crazy

    November 26: A Test of Commitment

    November 27: Divine Sufficiency

    November 28: Talking with Teenagers

    November 29: Talking with Teenagers

    November 30: Talking with Teenagers

    December

    December 1: God’s Plumb Line

    December 2: Rebuilding the Walls

    December 3: Notes on Being Good

    December 4: Hide and Seek

    December 5: Hide and Seek

    December 6: A Wife’s Life

    December 7: God’s Moments for Mom

    December 8: The Easiest Thing To Do Is Nothing

    December 9: Taking a Stand

    December 10: Is Your Family Part of God’s Family?

    December 11: Singing in the Fire

    December 12: What Communicates Love to Women?

    December 13: What Communicates Love to Women?

    December 14: What Communicates Love to Women?

    December 15: Sticks and Stones…

    December 16: The Proverbs 31 Woman

    December 17: What Legacy Are You Leaving?

    December 18: The End of Every Man

    December 19: The Battle Before Us

    December 20: A Christmas I’ll Never Forget

    December 21: A Christmas I’ll Never Forget

    December 22: A Little Bit of Grace

    December 23: Bent Nails and Real Homes

    December 24: Our Most Memorable Christmas Gift

    December 25: Our Most Memorable Christmas Gift

    December 26: Friendships with Other Women

    December 27: The Great Letter

    December 28: Laughter in the Walls

    December 29: The Final Words of Obadiah Holmes

    December 30: The Final Words of Obadiah Holmes

    December 31: The Final Words of Obadiah Holmes

    Endnotes

    ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

    Life was never meant to be lived solo, and certainly writing a book would not occur if it depended on a single person. Moments Together for Couples has seen many skilled men and women touch its pages. Barbara and I want to say thanks to the great FamilyLife team who made this book possible.

    Julie Denker, you deserve kudos! Over the past decade, you have searched, researched, edited and re-edited. And recently you have been a master coordinator of the transcription of myriad messages that have become part of Moments Together for Couples. Thank you for your faithfulness as a single woman. Thank you for your impact on tens of thousands of families who owe you a great deal. You are a woman of incredible value!

    And to Dave Boehi, once again you have proven yourself to be of inestimable value not only to this ministry, but also to families around the world. Thanks for caring enough to hole up on Lake Hamilton and for becoming a celibate hermit for stretches of time. Your involvement had its definite mark of excellence on Moments Together for Couples. Thanks for your commitment not only to this project, but more importantly to me personally. I appreciate you.

    A special thanks to Ron Durham. You were the right man at the right time to ease the burden of beginning this project. I appreciate your painstaking care in crafting many of these devotions for couples. Thanks for your dedication to marriages and families. You truly are a difference maker.

    Mary Larmoyeux, no doubt there will be extra stars in your crown when you get to heaven for not only putting up with me as your boss, but also for all of the proofreading you have done during your four faithful years at FamilyLife. Thanks for catching those pesky grammatical errors that would have easily convicted me to a life sentence! You have been of tremendous help from day one at FamilyLife. Not only does the entire ministry run better because of you, but most certainly my life and family have been dramatically affected because of your servant spirit.

    Many thanks also go to Sharon Hill for faithfully running interference with my schedule so I could slay the beast and feed it to the public. You have done a great job of protecting me not only with the calendar, phone calls and transcription, but also from the numerous gnats that surround our ministry and office. Kathy Horton, you have been a choice angel sent by God to work on our team. I appreciate all you have done in your brief time at FamilyLife. You’ve been a tremendous addition to the team. And finally, thanks to Fran Taylor who makes up the fourth member of the rescue squad that keeps our area going. I appreciate how you fill in and plug the gaps virtually without notice. Your steady spirit and pleasant smile have earned you the respect of the entire FamilyLife team.

    Special thanks go to Cristi Mansfield and Lee Walti for the material you edited for this book. Thanks for rolling up your sleeves and pitching in on a project that needed your touch. I know your busy schedules, and I appreciate your help on Moments Together for Couples. Linda Treadway and Pat Claxton, you both deserve a tremendous note of appreciation for tirelessly transcribing endless mounds of tapes and countless chapters of books. Thanks for your service and team spirit. You are both a great encouragement.

    I also want to say thanks to Betty Dillon. You’ve bailed me out with research and synthesized material when I got into deep water. You are a real sleuth as you track down various articles. It is amazing how you can find virtually any magazine I need. I may get to heaven and find out you are bionic. Thanks for your efforts at FamilyLife and for being a difference maker. You work diligently behind the scenes and without recognition. Thank you, Betty, for your commitment to families and for the gracious servant spirit you have demonstrated at FamilyLife. You are a valued teammate.

    Special appreciation goes to the entire materials marketing team, especially to Blair Wright, Kevin Hartman and Rick Ferguson. Thanks for believing in this project and for wanting to see Moments Together for Couples become a reality. I am grateful for how you diligently prepared for this book’s release. You guys are truly a dynamic trio, and I really do appreciate all you do. And to Merle Engle (I know I’m beginning to sound like a broken record), thanks so much for rolling up your sleeves and making this ministry happen. I appreciate the leadership you have given to this book and to FamilyLife.

    Books need publishers, and without question, one of the finest in the country is Gospel Light. Many thanks to Bill Greig Jr. and Bill Greig III. I appreciate all you do at Gospel Light to build families. Undoubtedly, you and your team would have been a part of David’s mighty men. Kyle Duncan, you are first-class all the way, and I really am grateful for what you have done to make this a quality book. Thanks for putting the rubber on the road and pouring out a deep commitment to this project. And Virginia Woodard, you performed a yeoman’s job as you coordinated mountains of editing.

    Finally, Mark Crull, you were such an integral part of making Moments Together for Couples possible. I appreciate how you kept me going in the midst of car problems, phone calls, press releases and a jillion other projects that no one else could appreciate as much as I do. I am grateful to God for you and deeply appreciate the privilege of working alongside you over these past three years.

    Once again, thanks to the great team who made Moments Together for Couples a reality!

    INTRODUCTION

    There are many encouraging signs that our culture still recognizes the value and the power of the family. Just in the last year, major newspapers, magazines and television news shows have begun running a steady stream of reports about the need for strong marriages and strong families. We’ve adopted and popularized a phrase called Family Values.

    While our culture recognizes the need for strong families, few people seem to know how to build them. That’s why we helped form the ministry of FamilyLife nearly 20 years ago, and that’s why we put together this book—to help you learn and apply biblical principles for building a godly home.

    While you can use this devotional for your personal times with Jesus Christ, you will receive the greatest impact if you work through it day-by-day with your mate. In our experience, most Christian couples wish they spent time together praying and encouraging each other from the Bible—but they just don’t do it. They let other priorities crowd out what should be the most important aspect of their marriage relationship.

    We’d like to challenge you to set yourself apart from the norm. Use this devotional to seek God together. Use these pages to grow closer together spiritually. Perhaps you could set aside a few minutes each night before you go to bed to read that day’s selection, answer the discussion question and then pray together. If you do this for the next year, we guarantee your marriage relationship will reach a totally new dimension of oneness and intimacy. It will be the best investment you could make.

    Dennis and Barbara Rainey

    January 1

    TRUTH DEMANDS A RESPONSE

    Teach me Thy way, O Lord; I will walk in Thy truth.

    PSALM 86:11

    One foggy night, the captain of a large ship saw what appeared to be another ship’s lights approaching in the distance. This other ship was on a course that would mean a head-on collision. Quickly, the captain signaled to the approaching ship: Please change your course 10 degrees west.

    The reply came blinking back through the thick fog: You change your course 10 degrees east.

    Indignantly, the captain pulled rank and shot a message back to the other ship: I am a sea captain with 35 years of experience. Change your course 10 degrees west!

    Without hesitation, the signal flashed back: I am a seaman, fourth class. You change your course 10 degrees east!

    Enraged, the captain realized they were approaching each other quickly and would crash within minutes. So he blazed his final warning: I am a 50,000-ton freighter. Change your course 10 degrees west!

    A simple message winked back: I am a lighthouse. You change your course!

    Like the sea captain, we may need to change course when confronted with the truth. That’s what happens when we make it a priority to spend time reading and applying God’s Word. It is eternal truth. It doesn’t change, so we need to adjust our lives to walk in that truth.

    So many of us spend our lives avoiding the truth of God’s Word because we don’t want to walk in it. Christ said in John 8:32 that the truth shall make you free, but as Herbert Agar wrote in A Time for Greatness, The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.

    What is the Bible to you? A collection of nice stories? The foundation of a conservative worldview? Or is it God’s Word, living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword? (Heb. 4:12). Does anything keep you from obeying God’s Word in every area of your life—your business, your marriage, your family? Do you need to adjust the course on which you are heading today?

    Discuss:

    Is there a truth you have been avoiding in your life—an area of your relationship you have been unwilling to confront?

    Pray:

    That God’s Word will be your guide in decision making and your rock in establishing family values and priorities.

    January 2

    MAKING THE MOST OF IT ALL

    Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time.

    EPHESIANS 5:15, 16

    Someday, when the kids are gone, there will be plenty of ice cream just for Barbara and me. I won’t find the can of Hershey’s chocolate on the lower shelf…empty and with a sticky bottom. We will return to a small refrigerator and eat on the antique table we used when we were first married.

    Cars will be clean again. The floorboard won’t be covered with Sunday School papers or petrified McDonald’s french fries. And gum, Legos, Matchbox cars, doll combs and even fishhooks won’t be smushed into the carpet.

    Doors will be shut, and I won’t have to go through the house turning off every light. We won’t stumble over herds of teddy bears, dolls and stuffed animals grazing or napping on the carpet.

    Fewer tools will be lost. No frantic search parties at bedtime for lost blankets. Socks will miraculously find their mates, and the car keys will be right where I left them.

    But of course other things will have changed, too.

    When the kids are gone, we won’t hear the pitter-patter of little feet running down the hallway, then feel a warm, wiggly body crawling into bed and snuggling with us early on Saturday morning.

    No more little-girl, frilly Easter dresses or first days of school. No winter picnics or log cabin playhouses. No more fishing and hunting trips or wiener roasts or just goofing around with a childish hand in mine.

    Someday there will be no more handmade Father’s Day cards or wooden plaques titled World’s Best Mom. No more crayon drawings, verses and stick people drawn on construction paper and displayed on the refrigerator.

    So until someday arrives, we’re going to cherish our moments together. We’re going to try to take seriously—but happily—the apostle Paul’s counsel: Making the most of your time.

    Sticky or not.

    Discuss:

    What season of life are you in right now? Are you making the most of this time, fulfilling your responsibilities with contentment, joy and appreciation?

    Pray:

    For contentment and for the ability to focus on what God has called you to presently do.

    January 3

    RESISTING CROWDED LONELINESS

    And Jesus said, Who is the one who touched Me? And while they were all denying it, Peter said, Master, the multitudes are crowding and pressing upon you.

    But Jesus said, Someone did touch Me.

    LUKE 8:45, 46

    With the world’s population racing toward five billion inhabitants, it may seem strange that many observers see loneliness as society’s number one need. This widespread disorder has been described as being lonely in a crowd or crowded loneliness.

    Although it would seem that families are a natural antidote for loneliness, we all know they don’t always work that way. In large and small families among children, and between husband and wife, individual needs for belonging are often ignored and loneliness looms. Here are some symptoms: declaring some topics off-limits for discussion; substituting television, small talk or silence for meaningful conversation; allowing the calendar to become too crowded for time together; the wife immersing herself in the children and the husband in his work in order to avoid intimacy; refusing to confront each other on important issues and covering them up with an attitude of peace at any price.

    Jesus lived in a tiny, crowded portion of Palestine. It was incredible that in the midst of a mob, all jostling each other, He should take note of a lonely woman’s personal touch. But that’s just what He did.

    Your family can be just such a gathering—a place where each family member can experience both the security of togetherness and the meeting of individual needs.

    One of Satan’s greatest strategies is to isolate people from each other. Is his demonic strategy working in your home?

    Discuss:

    Which path does your family seem to be on—toward greater intimacy or isolation? What schedule pressures could you adjust to give your family more opportunities for interaction?

    Pray:

    That God will give each family member some of Jesus’ ability to overcome the threat of crowded loneliness.

    January 4

    GOD’S BOX TOP FOR THE FAMILY

    Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.

    PSALM 127:1

    Each fall I divide my sixth grade Sunday School class into three groups to compete in putting together a jigsaw puzzle. As these 12-year-olds scatter into three circles on the floor, I explain that there is only one rule in our competition: to put together the puzzle without talking.

    The contents of one puzzle are deposited on the floor and Group One immediately goes to work. The group promptly sets up the box top that depicts the picture of the puzzle it is completing.

    Then I move to the second group, dump the pieces on the floor and quickly give the group a box top. What the group doesn’t know is that the box top is for another puzzle!

    The third group is given the same puzzle pieces, but it doesn’t receive a box top. Usually the kids in the group start to protest, but I quickly remind them there is to be no talking!

    What follows is fascinating.

    Group One is somewhat frustrated by not being allowed to talk, but it still makes steady progress. Group Two keeps trying to use the picture, but nothing seems to work. And since the kids in the group can’t say anything, their frustration level soars. The group members look at me with pleading eyes. Soon, I see the wrong box top come flying out of the group!

    Group Three is interesting. Because the kids have nothing to guide them, they do their own thing. The kids give up and just lie on the floor.

    Am I a cruel teacher? No, there is a point that I make that day.

    Life, marriages and families are like the pieces of the puzzle. The pieces are all there for us, but something is needed to help us bring order out of chaos.

    There are a lot of competing blueprints and pictures out there vying for your commitment and mine. It only makes sense, however, to look to the God who created the family to learn a design that will work.

    It’s never too late to pull out your Bible and begin using the right box top.

    Discuss:

    Do you think you are building your family from the right blueprints? Do you and your spouse have the same box top? If you continue on your current path, what will your home look like?

    Pray:

    That God will give you discernment to recognize when you are building your marriage with the wrong box top.

    January 5

    AMAZING

    And they were amazed at His teaching; for He was teaching them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.

    MARK 1:22

    Have you seen Jesus? I mean really seen Him? Not some kind of 900-foot-tall object, but rather the Jesus Christ who lives in the Bible?

    When I look through the book of Mark, I see a Christ who is amazing. And He obviously struck others the same when He lived on earth.

    For one thing, His teachings were amazing. The people were shaken to their cores by the authority Christ had when He taught.

    Second, He performed miracles that were amazing. He healed the blind, the sick, the lepers. Mark 4:35-41 gives us another little outline or a story, a brief glimpse of a miracle that Jesus performed. This is no mystical myth. This was a real event that occurred. This passage describes Jesus with His disciples and how He rebuked the wind of a storm.

    On a windy day you or I could go outside and say to the wind, Hold it. But it would just keep on blowing. A wall could be built, but that really would not stop it. The wind would flow right over it. Yet Jesus turned an angry sea into a calm surface by speaking and causing the wind to stop.

    Christ healed the sick, fed the 5,000, and not only walked on water but also made it possible for Peter to do the same. I sometimes wonder what it was like to be Peter as he stepped out of that boat. He had his eyes on Christ and he stepped out and it was solid. Then he saw the wind and began to sink.

    I’ve heard Peter criticized in sermons for seeing the wind and sinking—for his doubt and unbelief. But he still stepped out—he had the faith to get out of the boat and onto the water! And he’s the only person in history to walk on water, other than Jesus.

    What’s my point? Have you ever been amazed by His teachings? Have you ever really stepped out and taken Him at His word?

    Discuss:

    How has God’s teaching made a difference in your life?

    Pray:

    That you would see Christ as the amazing God on a daily basis.

    January 6

    COMMUNICATION OR ISOLATION?

    Since I have had for many years a longing to come to you whenever I go to Spain—for I hope to see you in passing.

    ROMANS 15:23, 24

    Captain Red McDaniel rapped on his cell walls in the Hanoi Hiltontap-tap…tap-tap-tap—practicing the special camp code prisoners used to communicate with each other. He was risking his life since one of the strictest rules in the celebrated Vietnamese POW camp was: No communication with other prisoners.

    His communist captors wanted to keep all guests isolated and vulnerable. And McDaniel had already been through that; now he was in solitary confinement. As the long hours and days passed, he met the real enemy—isolation. Without human contact or conversation, he knew only the dulling, silent darkness of loneliness.

    The highlight of each day was being taken to the washroom, where he managed to whisper briefly with two other Americans. They taught him the camp code, which involved a certain number of taps or other signals that spelled out letters of the alphabet.

    McDaniel, who tells of his long years of imprisonment in his book Scars and Stripes, saw nearly 50 of America’s finest trained men go into isolation, never to be heard from again. For himself, it was either communicate or die. New prisoners who did not learn the code within 30 days would gradually start to draw inward and deteriorate. They would stop eating and slowly lose the will to live. Eventually, isolation would suck their very lives from them.

    Isolation and the failure to communicate also drain life from relationships. Like the apostle Paul, most people long for intimacy and fellowship, but without communication, these essentials are impossible.

    Communicate—your marriage depends on it!

    Discuss:

    Can you recall an example in your own family when the lack of communication created a problem? How could family members work together to improve communication?

    Pray:

    That the lines of communication will stay open in order for your relationship with God and your family to flourish.

    January 7

    DO SOMETHING OF VALUE TONIGHT

    {Part One}

    Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time.

    EPHESIANS 5:15, 16

    Driving home one night after work, I switched on the radio to catch the news. In a moment of uncharacteristic sincerity, the announcer made a statement that sliced through my fog of fatigue: I hope you did something of value today. You wasted a whole day if you didn’t.

    His statement struck me abruptly. Fortunately, I felt pretty good about how I had invested my time that day, solving some of the problems of a swiftly growing organization. But in 10 minutes I would be home where one lovely lady and six pairs of little eyes would need my attention.

    Would I do something of value with them tonight?

    It’s just one night, I thought, and besides, I’m exhausted. Then I pondered how one night followed by another, 365 times, adds up to a year. The nights and years seemed to be passing with increasing velocity.

    Five more minutes and I’d be home.

    I’ll bet there are other men like me who are really tired right now. I’ll bet I do better than average with my kids, I smugly concluded.

    But another question came to mind and lingered: Did God call me to be merely a better-than-average husband and father? Or to be obedient and to excel?

    But it’s just one night. What would I accomplish? Would I waste it spending all evening in front of the television? Or invest it in planting the seeds of a positive legacy?

    I wanted just one evening of selfishness—to do my own thing. But what if Barbara had a similar attitude? Then who would carry the baton?

    One more minute and I’d be home.

    Just one night, Lord. It’s just one night. But then the same angel who wrestled Jacob to the ground pinned me with a half nelson as I drove into the garage.

    Okay, Lord, You’ve got me.

    Discuss:

    Did you do something of value today? If you didn’t, you just wasted a whole day of your life.

    Pray:

    Ask God to help you keep your priorities straight in the midst of the pressure and schedule you face. Ask Him to give you courage to do right.

    January 8

    DO SOMETHING OF VALUE TONIGHT

    {Part Two}

    So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

    EPHESIANS 5:17

    As the kids surrounded my car like a band of whooping Indians, screaming, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, I was glad on this night I had made the right choice.

    At supper, rather than just grazing our way through the meal, we spent a few moments on nostalgia. Each of us answered the question: What was your favorite thing we did as a family this past year?

    After supper I gave the kids three choices of what we would do: Play Monopoly together, read a good book together or wrestle together on the living room floor. Which do you think they chose?

    Three little sumo wrestlers grabbed my legs as they began to drag me into the living room. Dad was pinned by the kids. Mom was tickled by Dad. And kids went flying through the air (literally) for the next hour. Even our 10-month-old got into the act by pouncing on me after she had observed the other kids in action.

    Will the kids remember? Maybe, but I doubt it.

    Did I waste the evening? No. With the power that God supplies, I did my best to leave a legacy that counts—a legacy of love that will outlive me. I was reminded of two things. First, I thought of Paul’s words in Ephesians 5, in which he reminded us to make the most of our time and to not be foolish.

    Second, I remembered my dad. He was badgered by one determined boy into playing catch over and over again. I can still remember his well-worn mitt and curve ball.

    If you struggle with priorities as I do, you might want to commit to memory those verses in Ephesians.

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