Praying Prodigals Home

Sherrer

INTRODUCTION

Prodigals in your family.

Never had them? Then thank God, and pray for your friends who do.

All three of my youngsters were prodigals. But God taught my husband, LeRoy, and me many valuable lessons in praying them out of the enemy’s camp and back into God’s kingdom. Because of those lessons, we can offer hope to those still praying, believing and waiting for their prodigals to repent—whether they are children, parents, siblings or aunts and uncles.

Just today I read again the Scripture posted beside my bed: But with God all things are possible (Matt. 19:26). That verse sustained me time and again when my faith waned.

When we began our prayer venture for our prodigals, not much was written on how to pray for those who had turned their backs on God’s plans and purposes for their lives. That led us to search the Scriptures and ask the Holy Spirit to teach us. And it drew LeRoy and me to pray together daily in agreement for our children and their friends. Today, all are serving God—and together we are standing in the prayer gap for five little ones (our grandchildren), ranging in age from two to five.

The prodigals are coming home in droves, our pastor, Dutch Sheets, announced at the turn of the year. And it’s happening. In recent months, relatives we’ve prayed for over many years have made a turnaround and have returned to the God of their youth.

During the time we were praying for our own prodigals, I read and reread Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son (see Luke 15). I also learned that in the seventeenth century, the Dutch artist Rembrandt had done an oil painting that depicted this well-known story. I longed to see it, but it was tucked away among thousands of artifacts in the Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg, Russia.

Just a few years ago, I found myself at the Hermitage, standing transfixed as I studied The Return of the Prodigal Son. Eight feet high by six feet wide, the huge painting is of a father embracing his son who has just come home. With strong hands resting on the shoulders of the kneeling, rag-clad young man, the father is the focal point. The natural light of the large nearby window heightens the stunning contrast of colors—dark background, abundant reds, browns and touches of yellow.

Tears clouded my vision as I studied the father’s countenance. It seemed God Himself was giving me a personal, reassuring message. I love you even more than this father loves his beloved son who was lost, God spoke to my heart. I long to welcome home so many more of My prodigals. I immediately sensed a new commission to pray more fervently for those who don’t know God as their loving heavenly Father.

Every time I see a print of this painting, I am again drawn to the love in the father’s eyes. Maybe your experience is like mine: You can never remember a time when your father put his arm about your shoulders or gave you gifts or set a table in your honor or welcomed you home. But God, our heavenly Father—always with open arms—wants to welcome us or anyone who will accept His love and embrace.

When the prodigals you are praying for return, what a Welcome home! celebration you can throw. Remember, the battle is the Lord’s. He is the one who is calling them home. We simply align our prayers with His will and purpose.

I pray that this book, a companion to How to Pray for Your Children, will encourage and challenge you to never stop praying. As you read stories of other intercessors who share their defeats, victories, strategies, hopes and promises from God for their onetime prodigals, may you be inspired to believe and expect your own miracle, too.

—Quin Sherrer

PROLOGUE

Story of

the Lost Son

A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, I want my share of your estate now, instead of waiting until you die. So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.

A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and took a trip to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money on wild living. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him to feed his pigs. The boy became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.

When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, At home even the hired men have food enough to spare, and here I am, dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired man.’

So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long distance away, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.

But his father said to the servants, Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger, and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening in the pen. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found. So the party began.

Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, and he asked one of the servants what was going on. Your brother is back, he was told, and your father has killed the calf we were fattening and has prepared a great feast. We are celebrating because of his safe return.

The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, but he replied, All these years I’ve worked hard for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes you celebrate by killing the finest calf we have.

His father said to him, Look, dear son, you and I are very close, and everything I have is yours. We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!

—Luke 15:11-32, NLT

CHAPTER ONE

The Making of a Prodigal

The younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.

— LUKE 15:13

The story of the prodigal son is the story of a God who goes searching for me and who doesn’t rest until he has found me. He urges and he pleads. He begs me to stop clinging to the powers of death and to let myself be embraced by arms that will carry me to the place where I will find the life I most desire.¹

— HENRI J. M. NOUWEN

If you are a parent praying for a prodigal son or daughter, you know the anguish that comes with watching a child you deeply care about wander away from God’s love. But have you ever stopped to consider God’s heartache over His prodigal children?

Adam and Eve, the children Father God first created, disobeyed Him—choosing to believe the lie of the serpent over the truth He had given them. Then the nation of Israel, God’s chosen people, disappointed Him in the same way. Jesus was betrayed by Judas; Paul was forsaken by Demas. Throughout Scripture we see God’s concern for prodigals and His efforts to woo them back.

What about present-day prodigals? We have heard from many parents who not only face the heartbreak caused by a prodigal child, but the agony of making difficult decisions about how to deal with the crisis. For example:

• A 16-year-old daughter is pregnant, and the parents can’t agree on whether to allow her to get an abortion.

• A prodigal son returns home unrepentant and a short time later brings his new girlfriend home, expecting that she can spend the night with him.

• A young woman strays from her Christian upbringing, gets caught up in a career in which she makes lots of money, then ends up in prison on charges of fraud.

• The son of a missionary struggles with same-sex attractions after he’s molested by a stranger he thought was befriending him. He is a prodigal for several years before he’s able to break free.

• Devoted parents of a talented young daughter discover she’s addicted to drugs at age 15. They practice tough love by putting her in a strictly disciplined rehab program, and she comes out drug-free.

Of course, every prodigal is accountable for his or her wrong choice to rebel and run away from God. But the underlying problem of all prodigals is that they don’t perceive God as a loving, benevolent heavenly Father. Because of their distorted view of God, they often are embittered toward Him, blaming Him for most of their problems. Satan deceived Eve in the garden by convincing her that God was not trustworthy. Deception remains Satan’s most effective tactic today, as evidenced by the enormous number of prodigals whose names fill our prayer lists.

The Aftermath of Abuse

Does the enemy especially target certain children? Often it appears so. Ministers’ children and those with a strong sense of God’s call on their lives at an early age are particularly vulnerable.

Joyce’s daughter Alicia is an example of this. Alicia accepted Jesus as her Savior when she was only three years old and was the perfect picture of childhood—free, innocent, spontaneous. As she grew up, it was evident she was gifted in music, art and dance. She seemed to add a special mark of beauty to everything she touched. But she was so strong willed that it led to power struggles with her father from an early age.

My husband was a powder keg of anger because of his own poor upbringing, and he never related well to Alicia, Joyce said. He abused her verbally and emotionally. Sometimes she said she hated him, but then she took on his ways of venting anger and rage at the least little upset. We divorced when Alicia was 10 years old. I’ve always known she has a special call upon her life, and we always were very close. But at 13 she began resisting the things of the Lord and turned against me. This was the beginning of her prodigal journey—marked by verbal tirades, swearing, physical outbursts of anger and drinking. At one point she was hospitalized for suicidal tendencies.

When she was 16, a youth pastor sexually abused Alicia, and shortly thereafter two other men did the same thing. She related more easily to boys than to girls but felt they were only interested in her for sex—so she felt isolated, angry and afraid.

From age 17 to 20, Alicia threw caution to the wind and became sexually promiscuous. Though she never totally turned her back on God, she was angry with Him, feeling He had failed to protect her from being abused. Joyce insisted that Alicia see a Christian counselor, who helped her find more appropriate ways to express her hostility. But her behavior didn’t change.

At age 20, when her sexual promiscuity was at its peak, Alicia went to a doctor on her own because of troubling symptoms that scared her. After tests, the doctor called her with a very bad report, saying she needed to come in for more tests. That wake-up call devastated Alicia. Afraid her life might be cut short, she now saw her mom as her friend and advocate, not her enemy, and asked her to call her prayer partners to pray.

My friends and I had prayed for years for this rebel to renounce her anger and for God to reveal His love to her, Joyce said. "This health crisis was the turning point. A few weeks later I went with her when she had two painful diagnostic procedures to pinpoint the problem more specifically. Amazingly, this time the tests came back with a good report—‘Nothing is wrong,’ the nurse assured her. ‘Just come back in six months for a checkup.’

"We are convinced that God supernaturally healed Alicia of this disease. After experiencing His incredible mercy and grace, at last she saw God differently—as a Father who loved her in spite of her rebellion. She broke off all ungodly relationships, began reading the Word and asking me to read with her; now she attends church consistently. She is living this change of heart and treating me with respect and affection. Also, she has forgiven her father and all the men in her life whom she felt had used her and disappointed her. Recently she bought a ring to wear as a reminder of her pledge—‘No sex until I marry.’ "

Of course, every prodigal is responsible for his or her choices. We don’t believe God inflicted symptoms of a serious illness on Alicia just because she was so rebellious. But He did allow these things to happen—all the while calling her to turn her heart toward Him.

God’s Arms Are Always Extended

What does the word prodigal mean to you? The word—based on the Latin word prodigus, meaning wasteful or extravagant—does not appear in Scripture. It describes the younger son’s behavior, and thus the story came to be called The Parable of the Prodigal Son. But it could more accurately be called The Parable of the Lost Son.

The story is the final and longest segment of a three-part parable in which Jesus describes the lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost son. The sheep was lost because of its aimless wandering. The coin was lost within the house through the carelessness or preoccupation of its owner. But the son, who willfully inflicted deep sorrow upon his father, was lost because of his own conscious and deliberate action.

How many of us, at one time or another, have held a distorted picture of God’s love?

Each vignette clearly communicates God’s desire to seek and to save what was lost (Luke 19:10). Jesus is depicted as the shepherd who seeks and finds the lost sheep, the woman who searches and finds the lost coin, and the father who rejoices when his lost son returns home. Jesus tells the parable in response to the Pharisees’ complaint that He welcomes sinners and eats with them (Luke 15:2). While these religious leaders were intent on chastising sinners, Jesus’ purpose was—and still is—to redeem them.

How many of us, at one time or another, have held a distorted picture of God’s love? Author Philip Yancey reveals that in his own legalistic upbringing his concept of what grace really means didn’t fit with this parable:

How different are these stories from my own childhood notions about God: a God who forgives, yes, but reluctantly, after making the penitent squirm. I imagined God as a distant thundering figure who prefers fear and respect to love. Jesus tells instead of a father publicly humiliating himself by rushing out to embrace a son who has squandered half the family fortune. There is no solemn lecture, I hope you’ve learned your lesson! Instead, Jesus tells of the father’s exhilaration—This my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found—and then adds the buoyant phrase, they began to make merry.

What blocks forgiveness is not God’s reticence . . . but ours. God’s arms are always extended; we are the ones who turn away. . . .

A housewife jumping up and down in glee over the discovery of a lost coin is not what naturally comes to mind when I think of God. Yet that is the image Jesus insisted upon. ²

What Produces a Prodigal?

Of all the parables Jesus told, the story of the prodigal son is among the most widely known. Even secular writers use the term in referring to a person who abandons the values of his upbringing to pursue a reckless, wanton lifestyle.

In the biblical account, the father does not seem to be a deficient parent. But at least three elements influenced the younger son:

His impatience—he was not willing to wait for his inheritance.

His selfishness—he was more interested in himself than in honoring his father.

His desire for adventure—the far country was more exciting than the family homestead.

Recently we had lunch with Terry, a friend who shared the struggles she’s had with her prodigal son, Jason. He grew up loving the Lord, but in high school he got involved with a skinhead gang. As a result of much prayer he left the gang, but his life was in danger when gang members threatened retaliation. For several weeks he lived with friends in another city. Hoping to get his life on track, he enrolled in Bible school, but soon he was kicked out for smoking and he moved home again.

So, how’s he doing now? we asked.

"Well, he’s supposed to be looking for a job,