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    Rube
    Rube
    Rube
    Ebook181 pages25 hours

    Rube

    By David Belisle

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Incredible as it may seem, the following screwball epic is true.

    George Edward "Rube" Waddell was a Pennsylvania farm boy born in 1876 who loved to fish, play baseball and chase fire trucks. Rube's catcher with the Philadelphia Athletics, Ossee "Schrek" Schreckengost narrates the astonishing tale.

    Rube, a fire-throwing lefthander, bounces around as a teen playing for college teams and local nines, always playing for the highest bidder ... or the biggest crowd. He would get his crack at the big leagues with Pittsburgh in 1897.

    Unfortunately Rube has a problem respecting authority and he strikes out with Pittsburgh, the Louisville Colonels and Detroit in the minors ... before he heads south to Florida to wrestle alligators. For two years.

    The best pitching duel of 1900 is Rube - now with Pittsburgh - against Chicago Orphan's big Clarke Griffith. They matched each other with shutout innings to the bottom of the 14th. Rube loses when Griffith smacks a game-winning double. Alas, Rube falls back in his rut with his gun-slinging ways, antagonizes the manager and is sent down to the minors in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.

    The story could end right here. But Cornelius Alexander McGillicuddy enters the picture. Connie Mack. Mack is Milwaukee's manager at the time. He visits Rube and pries him out of Punxsutawney by first paying off all of Rube's debts. Mack pays Rube salary in installments ... ten one-dollar bills at a time.

    At a game in Milwaukee, Rube pitches 17 innings in the first game of a double header. The teams agree to play a shortened 5-inning second game. Mack tells Rube that if he pitches the second game, he can go fishing instead of traveling with the team to Kansas City. An hour later, Rube and Milwaukee win 1-0.

    Pittsburgh calls Mack. They want Rube back. Rube leads the league in strikeouts but is suspended early the next season and is shipped back down to the minors in Wisconsin.

    Joe "Pongo" Cantillon finds him there and convinces Rube to come along with a team Pongo's put together to barnstorm across the country to California in 1901. Rube stays in San Francisco and that's where two Pinkerton guards sent by Connie Mack find him in June of 1902. They bring him to Philadelphia where Mack now manages the Athletics and Schrek will be Rube's new roommate. In the early 1900's, roomies shared the bed.

    Waddell won his first game for the Athletics July 1, 1902 and proceeded to win 23 more in just 3 months -- half a season! After which Mack forbade Rube from wrestling alligators. So Rube played rugby instead.

    The 1903 season began with Rube meeting his future wife May Wynne Skinner from Boston. They marry but Rube continues to live as only he can. He doesn't pay his board bills. He beats up a heckler at a ball game and is thrown in jail. He hooks up with Cy Young in two memorable games ... and continues to eat animal crackers in bed.

    After the 1907 season he joins his Philly teammates on a barnstorming tour but his drinking gets the better of him and his teammates vote him off the team. Mack is forced to ship Rube off to the St. Louis Browns for $5000.

    In October, 1910, Pongo tracks down Rube. Cantillon takes him to Minnesota where Rube can fish, play ball and "be Rube" for the minor league Minneapolis Millers. It's the perfect world for Waddell. He wins 20 games in 1911 and Cantillon invites him to come stay with him in Kentucky in the off-season.

    The spring of 1912 however, brings bad flooding and Rube comes down with a bad case of pneumonia after spending 13 hours in cold water piling sand bags. Tuberculosis sets in the following year and Cantillon sends Rube down to Texas to try and shake the illness ... but to no avail.

    Rube dies April Fools Day, 1914. He's only 37. His epitaph reads: "Rube Waddell had only one priority, to have a good time." Schrek passes away three years later. Neither lives to see 40. Rube is elected to the Hall of Fame i

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDavid Belisle
    Release dateAug 4, 2014
    ISBN9781310222061
    Rube
    Author

    David Belisle

    Dave Belisle is a Vietnam War draft dodger ... his mother escorting him north of the border at the tender age of 8. He's returned to Calgary -- not as a Stampede side show -- but to transform that Rocky Mountain air into raucous laughter ... give or take a foothill. There's no armistice on anecdotes, no flat tire in satire ... and your busted funny bone IS covered by Canadian health care.

    Read more from David Belisle

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      Book preview

      Rube - David Belisle

      140

      RUBE

      Dave Belisle

      Copyright 2006 by Dave Belisle

      Smashwords Edition

      FADE IN:

      EXT. FISHING HOLE – DAY

      GEORGE EDWARD RUBE WADDELL, 8, sits on a bank beneath a

      bridge with his friend, JIMMY SNODGRASS. They stare intently at their poles in the water. Ossee Schreck Schreckengost is the narrator.

      SCHRECK (V.O.)

      Now Rube Waddell wasn't your

      average every-day, garden-variety ballplayer. No, sir. Rube marched to his own drummer . . . and damned if that drummer weren't always changing the beat. I suppose the summer of 1884 in Bradford, P-A is as good a place to start as any.

      JIMMY

      Mama says I'm gonna be a doctor or a dentist when I grow up. But I want to work in the mine, like Pa. Maybe they'll let me feed the

      canary. How 'bout you, Georgie. What are you gonna be when you grow up?

      RUBE

      Don't know, Joey. Do they pay folks for fishin'?

      Jimmy shrugs.

      RUBE (CONT’D)

      Maybe I could be in the funny

      pages.

      JIMMY

      But you ain't funny, Georgie.

      RUBE

      Don't have to be funny to be

      famous.

      A big fish bites Rube's line.

      JIMMY

      You got one, Georgie! It's a

      whopper!

      Bells ringing, a FIRE WAGON rushes past them on the bridge

      above. Young Rube throws down his pole and races after the

      fire wagon. Joey scrambles after Rube's pole on the ground.

      JIMMY (CONT’D)

      Your fish, Georgie! It's getting away!

      INT. WADDELL LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

      It's bath night in the Waddell home and Rube's turn in the

      tub. His father, POP WADDELL, sits nearby reading the

      newspaper. MAMA WADDELL scrubs behind Rube's ears. Rube

      makes a face.

      The ringing bells of a nearby fire wagon break the silence. Rube jumps out of the tub. His mother grabs for him but misses. Rube bounds out the door after the fire engine.

      MAMA

      George Edward Waddell! You come back here this instant!

      POP

      I reckon he'll dry quicker runnin' around like that.

      INT. WADDELL DINING ROOM - DAY

      It's supper time. Pop Waddell stabs at his steak with his

      fork and knife. He slices off a piece. Mama Waddell

      carefully chews her corn. Bells ringing, a fire wagon

      rushes past, visible through the window.

      Mama chews her food nonchalantly. She gazes out the window

      after the fire wagon. OFF-CAMERA silverware drop onto

      china, chair legs scuff the floor and Rube grunts.

      An excited Rube is tied to his chair and straining to get

      loose.

      INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY

      DOCTOR PHILANDER holds a tongue depressor in Rube's open

      mouth. A nervous Mama Waddell sits nearby.

      DR. PHILANDER

      Chasin' fire wagons, are ya?

      MAMA

      Is there something wrong, doctor?

      DR. PHILANDER

      Well, ma'am. Scraped knees and busted elbows are my specialty . . . but there's a feller over in London. He's goin' on about kids runnin' every which way like your

      boy here.

      Says they're sufferin' from . . . Morbid Defect of Moral Control, he calls it.

      MAMA

      Oh my.

      DR. PHILANDER

      No sense gettin' all wound up. I'm sure your boy here's gonna turn out just fine.

      (to Rube)

      You got any hobbies, boy?

      No answer. Mama leans toward Rube.

      MAMA

      What makes you happy, honey?

      RUBE

      I like throwin' rocks at birds.

      MAMA

      (embarrassed, to Doctor)

      Baseball. He just loves playin' baseball.

      EXT. BUTLER BALLPARK - DAY

      In a small town setting on a dog day afternoon, the ballpark is half full.

      GRAPHIC: BUTLER, PA -- 1896

      Rube, now 20, is on the mound. He fires a hard, overhand

      fastball. The BATTER swings and misses.

      UMPIRE

      Ste-e-e-e-rike three!

      T.H. GEORGE, a fiery 55-year-old, sits in the stands. He

      rubs his chin. George's gaze lingers on Rube.

      EXT. WADDELL FARM / BUTLER - DAY

      HARLEY HENDERSON rides his bicycle along the outside of the

      fence near the Waddell home. He's whistling to a crisp,

      summer day.

      A tin can EXPLODES off the fence railing beside Henderson.

      HARLEY

      A-a-a-a-a-a-g-h!

      The messenger crashes the bike into a nearby tree. Rube comes running up. He's holding a rifle.

      RUBE

      Are you okay? I didn't hit you. Did I?

      HARLEY

      Damn it, Rube. What for you shootin' target practice in your front yard?

      RUBE

      Makes me concentrate more.

      Harley reaches into his pocket and pulls out a telegram.

      HARLEY

      Got a telegram for you.

      (smiling)

      You knock somebody up?

      No response. Rube takes the telegram and opens it.

      RUBE

      Volante College wants you. Stop.

      Rube looks up from the letter. He drops his hands to his

      sides. He sighs and looks at Harley.

      HARLEY

      That means the end of the

      sentence. You can keep reading.

      Harley gets on his mangled bike and slowly pedals away down

      the road.

      HARLEY (CONT’D)

      Just whenever you see ... stop ... don't ...

      RUBE

      Stop. And they call this progress.

      (reading telegram)

      Game today in Wampum at two

      o'clock . . .

      Rube looks up at Harley who's twenty yards away.

      HARLEY

      Keep reading.

      RUBE

      Bring fastball . . . stop . . . T.H. George

      Rube folds the telegram back up and heads toward his house.

      Harley is 60 yards away in the distance.

      RUBE (CONT’D)

      Hey, Harley. What time is it?

      HARLEY

      Both hands straight up, Rube.

      EXT. WAMPUM BALLPARK - DAY

      Volante College trails Mount Union 5-1 in the fifth inning.

      T.H. George frowns, looks down and wrings his hands. He

      looks up and sees an approaching cloud of dust on the horizon.

      It's Rube standing on a wagon with a two-horse hitch. He

      whips the horses to go faster. Seconds later Rube hops down from the wagon to a waiting T.H. George.

      T.H. GEORGE

      No time to change, son. Just get out there and show us your stuff.

      Rube walks out to the mound.

      MONTAGE: He mows down three batters, all flailing away.

      The game's over. Rube and the Volante team exit the players' bench. T.H. George intercepts Rube at the end of the dugout.

      T.H. GEORGE

      Rube? How'd you like to pitch for the Volante College nine?

      RUBE

      Gee, Mr. George. I was never much for schoolin'.

      T.H. GEORGE

      Did I say anything about attending classes?

      RUBE

      You've got my vote for bein'

      headmaster, Mr. George. But Butler is paying me two bucks a game.

      T.H. GEORGE

      We'll match that . . . and give you a chance to, how shall we say . . .

      (winking)

      . . . augment your income.

      RUBE

      I don't know about that, sir. I'd sooner spend it.

      EXT. HIRAM BALLPARK - DAY

      Rube and the other Volante players enter the ballpark. A

      heavyset fan, BILLY BETTMAN, 35, taps Rube on the shoulder.

      BETTMAN

      (low tones)

      I've got 200 dollars riding on this game. 25 of it's yours if you win.

      RUBE

      (brightening)

      Ah, so YOU'RE the augment.

      Bettman's confused for an instant. He bounces back.

      BETTMAN

      No, I'm your fairy godmother. Just shut up and pitch, kid.

      Two hours later, Bettman presses two tens and a five into

      Rube's palm.

      BETTMAN (CONT’D)

      Twenty-one strikeouts. Your

      pitching's gonna make me a rich man, Rube.

      RUBE

      Right now it’s making me thirsty. Could you point me to the nearest saloon?

      EXT. VOLANTE BALLPARK - DAY

      It's commencement day. Banners fly above the festive CROWD.

      Volante PLAYERS stand, hands on hips, waiting

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