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    What Men Won’t Talk About . . . and Women Need to Know A Woman’s Perspective on Prostate Cancer
    What Men Won’t Talk About . . . and Women Need to Know A Woman’s Perspective on Prostate Cancer
    What Men Won’t Talk About . . . and Women Need to Know A Woman’s Perspective on Prostate Cancer
    Ebook92 pages1 hour

    What Men Won’t Talk About . . . and Women Need to Know A Woman’s Perspective on Prostate Cancer

    By Glenda Standeven

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    About this ebook

    Prostate cancer is not an automatic death sentence and it certainly is not the death of intimacy in a relationship. My husband’s diagnosis gave us an opportunity to grow and learn together. Even more than that, it provided an incentive to live life to the fullest and never let pass any opportunities to express love. Glenda’s book, What Men Won't Talk About and Women Need to Know, chronicles her husband’s prostate cancer journey from a woman’s perspective.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGlenda Standeven
    Release dateAug 12, 2014
    ISBN9780981330747
    What Men Won’t Talk About . . . and Women Need to Know A Woman’s Perspective on Prostate Cancer
    Author

    Glenda Standeven

    Glenda Standeven was diagnosed with cancer in 1987, and lost her entire right leg to the disease in 1988. Because of the ordeal that Glenda and her family experienced, she feels it is important to give encouragement and hope to others facing adversity. In 1990, before the birth of their second son, Glenda won two silver medals in the BC Winter Games in the Slalom and Giant Slalom skiing events. Glenda was voted her hometown’s Woman of the Year in 2003, received the Governor General's Caring Canadian Award in 2005, and the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Medal in 2013, for her exemplary volunteer efforts in her community. Glenda Standeven's mission is to share her “choosing to smile” message with everyone she meets. She is also a sought-after speaker for professional organizations and groups of all kinds.

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      Book preview

      What Men Won’t Talk About . . . and Women Need to Know A Woman’s Perspective on Prostate Cancer - Glenda Standeven

      What Men Won’t Talk About 
 . . . and Women Need to Know

      A Woman’s Perspective on Prostate Cancer

      Glenda Standeven

      What Men Won’t Talk About…And Women Need to Know

      Copyright © 2014 by Glenda Standeven.

      Smashwords Edition

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

      Standeven Publications

      9872 Candow Street

      Chilliwack, BC

      V2P 4K4

      Canada

      www.IAmChoosingToSmile.com

      www.glendastandeven.com

      ISBN: 978-0-9813307-4-7

      Illustration on page 8 © 2014, Egton Medical Information Systems Limited. All rights reserved. Used with permission from Patient.co.uk, http://www.patient.co.uk/diagram/male-reproductive-system-diagram.

      The information in this book is not meant to replace the care given by an expert medical practitioner but we hope it will be used as a tool to aid prostate cancer patients and their spouses in their quest for information.

      This book is dedicated to my wonderful husband, Rick, 
and to all the brave men who face 
prostate cancer, 
and especially to my dad, Barney Bobroske, 
who taught us so much through his own journey.

      Contents

      Foreword

      Chapter One—The Warning Signs

      Chapter Two—The Diagnosis

      Chapter Three—The Options

      Chapter Four—The Surgery

      Chapter Five—Recovery-Ask and Ask Again

      Chapter Six—Recovery-Home at Last

      Chapter Seven—Recovery-Back in the Saddle

      Chapter Eight—What Works and What Doesn’t

      Chapter Nine—Life Goes On

      Epilogue

      Things You Need To Know and Helpful Tips

      What Is a Prostate Gland?

      What Is the Gleason Scale?

      What You Need to Know About Penile Rehabilitation

      Conclusion

      Foreword

      I am, among other things, wife, mother, cancer survivor, amputee, author, and inspirational speaker. In 2009, I co-authored a book called Choosing to Smile. It was written with two close friends who, like me, had also been diagnosed with cancer. We hoped that by sharing our stories we would help others to face their own challenges with a positive attitude. After writing and successfully publishing our book, I never dreamed that my wonderful husband would all too soon be facing his own adversity that would test the foundations of our choosing to smile philosophy.

      What Men Won’t Talk About and Women Need to Know was written out of necessity. My husband and I have been married since 1982, and, over the years, he has shown me that there are many things a man is eager and willing to do to please a woman, but going for a prostate exam isn’t one of them! It is my sincere hope that this little book will enlighten both men and women and, in the process, perhaps save lives by shedding some light on a topic that many men feel is taboo. This book is also for women everywhere—because sometimes our men need to be reminded about what our wants and needs are too. First and foremost, we want and need the special men in our lives to LIVE.

      Chapter One

      The Warning Signs

      Come on, Rick! You’ve got to be able to pee harder than that! I was lying in bed with my head cocked to one side, listening intently to the sounds coming from the adjoining bathroom. My husband valiantly attempted to satisfy my apparent need to hear him pee long and loud—like a fire hose turned loose in the bowl. It wasn’t working. His stream sounded more like an annoying faucet leaking and dribbling than the thundering pee waterfall I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear the kind of pee that left bubbles bouncing in the bowl.

      I had noticed, with a sense of increasing worry, that he seemed to hesitate and concentrated harder on the task when he stood in front of a toilet. I, on the other hand, just had to come within eyesight of a toilet and I’d start to pee—whether I wanted to or not! Oh, the joys of growing older. But something was bothering me about my husband’s condition and a little voice kept telling me that something was seriously wrong. I’ve learned to listen to that voice.

      My father was diagnosed on Valentine’s Day, 1992, and he passed away from metastatic prostate cancer in March, 1993. I learned a lot from his journey, and I give him credit for making me aware of the warning signs. He was only 65 years old when he was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer. It had already metastasized by the time they discovered it. Or should I say, by the time he decided to do something about it.

      I have discovered that a lot of men don’t like to discuss their serious illnesses. Many men take it as a sign of weakness to be ill, but I was determined that my husband would never fall into that category. I would hustle him into the doctor’s office at the first hint that something wasn’t right. It’s not that I’m a hypochondriac, because I’m not. Neurotic maybe. But I have reason to be. I lost my entire right leg, including my hip and pelvis, to a very aggressive bone cancer (chondrosarcoma) in 1988, when I was 32 years old. The doctors originally thought it was bursitis so now I tend to pay attention when my body doesn’t feel right. And I guess that watchfulness has spilled over to those closest to me.

      For example, paying attention saved my husband’s life in 2006, when I discovered a malignant melanoma skin cancer growing on his left forearm. His trucker arm was deeply tanned and, as I was idly running my fingers up and down his arm one night, I noticed a rough, two-toned mole that I’d never felt before. Sure enough, the innocuous little spot that he was sure was

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