Love Interrupted: The Interrupted Series, #1

Love Interrupted

Copyright © 2013 A.J. Warner

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any manner without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and for review purposes.

This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient.

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any resemblances to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons living or dead, are entirely coincidental.

ISBN-13: 978-1500999872

ISBN-10: 1500999873

Edited by Lea Burns, Indie Express LLC (http://indieexpress.org)

Cover design by Michelle White of White Design and Photography

Cover Photographer Mallory Kee of Kee Photography

Formatted by Lori Hall-Underwood

For my Andrew

Love is a brief moment for which you hold forever.

~Unknown

.

PROLOGUE

Andrew, I can't do this anymore. I can't continue to make you think we have a future when we don't. I can't be your forever. You deserve someone who will love you and help you be the best you can be. I'm not her. Her words played over and over again. I could see me standing there dumbfounded. Frozen in time. I could see the look on her face, the vacancy in her eyes. Logan was checking out.

Instantly I was there again…

I managed to slide my finger down the side of her check, But I love you, don't do this, Lo, Do. Not. Do. This! I was angry, and hurt. "You ARE my forever. Please Lo. Come on baby talk to me. Please, please, I'm begging Logan. Dammit! It's me begging." I couldn't hold on to the resolve in my voice. I was shaking, and fumbling for a coherent thought.

Logan stepped closer; looking me square in the eyes, not so much as a flinch, and the words left her mouth without hesitation. I do not love you Andrew.

That was it, she brushed past me, and walked away. Leaving me and taking everything I was with her.

My knees slammed to the floor. The first tear of many, silently rolled down my face. My reason for being, walked out and left me shattered on the floor. Knowing she could walk away so easily ripped me apart. I wept uncontrollably, as the sudden realization of my loss consumed me. I didn't give a shit where I was, who was staring, or what was going on around me. In all honesty it was the furthest thing from my mind. All I could focus on was the pain, the gut wrenching pain. Never in my life had I felt something so painful. My entire world, four years dissipated in less than three minutes. I didn't have a reason as to why she would do it. No signs, no warnings, nothing. I startled as I felt arms wrap around me, helping me to my feet. I prayed it was Logan, but deep down I knew it wasn’t. Shocked to find it was Logan’s best friend Jen, I willing went into her arms.

Logan Brookes

8:15! Shit! I hated being late and of all days I couldn’t afford to be late, for Jay’s sake. As I hopped on one foot trying to put on my other boot, my phone buzzed and eventually fell off of the black granite counter top in my bathroom. I know, I know, I’m on my way! I shouted as I answered the phone without verifying who it was.

Ms. Logan Brookes? Um I…I’m sorry, I’m looking for Ms. Brookes. It definitely wasn’t my brother Jay. I lost my balance trying to figure out who would be calling me this early. I took the day off and clients didn’t normally call my personal phone.

This is she. I hesitantly answered.

Ms. Brookes, this Laynie Rigby calling from Parkland Hospital in Dallas. Jay Brookes has been brought in by ambulance. We are trying to locate his next of kin. His records indicate that you are his sister.

My heart was about to pound right out of my chest, I couldn’t catch my breath. I couldn’t even answer the lady. I tried to swallow the lump that continued to grow in my throat.

Ms. Brookes, are you there?

What came out of my mouth sounded more like incoherent mumbling but Laynie Rigby spoke in turn.

You are his only relative? She asked. Before I could actually answer, she went on to say in an eerily calm voice, Jay was involved in an accident. You need to get here as soon as possible.

Without hesitation I grabbed my bag, keys and phone. My mind was racing and I couldn’t wrap it around anything. This wasn’t happening.

Jay, my brother, only five years younger than I, was supposed to be graduating later in the day. I was supposed pick him up at 8:45 to take him out to run last minute errands before the ceremony. We had been looking forward to this day for the past three years. It was a long and difficult journey, but he finally made it. After losing our parents, Jay struggled with grades, school, authority, me, and life in general. For a while, everyone wondered what would happen to Jay with there being no other living family members.

I was a sophomore at The University of North Texas, and lived in the dorms on campus. There was no way Jay could stay with me, besides, he needed structure and discipline. He needed someone to put a boot in his ass when he got out of line. He couldn’t get that from me. His best friend, Miles’ parents stepped in and retained guardianship. They took Jay in, no questions asked. Miles’ family accepted us both. Kathy and Clint Eastin were a well to do couple, both being lawyers. Mrs. Eastin practiced Family Law, and Mr. Eastin, Criminal law. Together, they owned a firm called Eastin and Eastin. Their oldest son, Andrew, was one year older than me and last I heard he lived in Austin. Andrew and I dated for almost four years. Shortly after my parents passed away, I overheard a conversation that was probably not meant for my ears. I made the decision to walk away from him. Miles, their youngest son, had been Jay’s best friend from day one. Anytime Miles went somewhere you could find Jay not far behind. Dinners, vacations, parties, family functions; Jay was always there. And of course I had a standing invite, but I didn’t ever want to overstep my bounds. Mr. and Mrs. Eastin basically became our parental figures. I couldn’t complain, they were amazing with Jay, and always accepting when it came to me for the most part. I had a soft spot for Mr. Eastin, but in all honesty, I tried to avoid Mrs. Eastin as much as possible. Of course no one really knew that, and I wouldn’t give them reason to suspect anything. After all, she did have a reputation to maintain.

Before I realized it, I was frantically walking up and down the hallways of the hospital, unsure of where I was going. As frustration and fear began to set in, an elderly lady wearing a red and white striped vest approached me cautiously.

Honey, you look lost. Can I help you find something? Her expression definitely did not match her sweet voice.

If there was a conversation between the two of us, I couldn’t recall a single word. I couldn’t focus on her or her words. My mind was going in every direction. I didn’t want to be here alone, I hated hospitals. At the same, time I didn’t want anyone to see me lose my mind. I couldn’t handle the next thoughts that crept into my mind. All I needed was for Jay to be okay.

Moments later, I was lead into a private room with a small burgundy paisley print sofa, and two black tables at opposite ends of it. The room had a large window overlooking the hospital parking lot. I barely noticed an older lady sitting in a chair by the window. Her long gray braid lay across her shoulder, covering her name tag. She stood to approach me. Again I wasn’t aware of the verbal exchange that took place.

After being seated and waiting for what felt like an eternity, a small petite nurse came in. Brookes family. Her eyes darted around the room searching, but I was the only one in the cold empty space. It took all I had to find my footing. I would have given anything to be anywhere but there. THIS.CAN.NOT.BE.HAPPENING. Her words were just that, words. I was lost somewhere in my head. I did hear something about a motorcycle of sorts, and an 18 wheeler, then something about no activity. Everything seemed so distant, so slow. All I wanted and needed was to get to Jay. He’s the only family I had; I needed to be with him. Will someone please just take me to my brother already? I shouted. It must have come out louder than I intended because the poor woman in front of me practically landed on her ass. I didn’t care though; I just wanted to see him. With my heart racing and my breathing erratic, I tried to keep my composure, but I was failing miserably. I followed the nurse, trying to keep her pace, thinking she wasn’t moving fast enough. Nothing made sense, not Jay being injured, not being at the hospital, not my thoughts.

She led me into a dimly lit room; the sterile smell of the tiny area was making me nauseous. Trying to ignore the sick feeling in my body, I noticed dozens of chords, tubes, and steady beeping. As I studied to see what chord was hooked to what body part on Jay, I realized the beeping was a constant reminder that his heart was still beating. This was a good sign, right?

My stomach was in my throat, my heart ached, oh my sweet Jay. The sting in the back of my eyes released a steady flow of hot tears. I lost it, fell to my knees, recognizing Jay’s class ring. I remember the day he asked me to pick it out. He said he didn’t want anything fancy. Just the year I graduate, something to show my love for music and don’t forget the football! He laughed as he tried to pretend it wasn’t a big deal. But it was, he’d come so far and accomplished more than even I thought he could.

The agonizing high pitch cry that pierced my ears, was my own. No. No. No. The repetitive words flowed over and over. This could not be happening. Why? I tried to regain my composure and find my strength, but it was useless. The uncontrollable sob silently kept coming.

Jay’s dark long locks were gone from where they had to shave his head to insert the shunt. His olive skin color was now purple and red. I couldn’t even tell where his mouth began or ended. His face was swollen beyond recognition. The boy in the bed looked nothing like my sweet Jay. But I knew without a doubt it was him; my beautiful baby brother was broken. The gut wrenching pain overwhelmed me. I ran for the trash can, the feeling in my stomach needed release. The release wasn’t enough to take away the ache deep in the pit of my soul.

After what could have been hours or only minutes, a tall slender, dark haired man entered the room. His white lab coat and stethoscope around his neck all but told me who he was. As I searched his blues eyes for answers, with one of those ‘I’m so sorry I’m not quite sure what to say to you’ looks, he reached out his hand and introduced himself.

I’m Dr. Whitten, you must be Logan Brookes.

Yes can you please tell me what’s going on? I managed to muster out.

Jay has major head trauma. We’ve inserted a shunt to relieve some of the pressure from his brain. The normal thing to do is wait for the swelling to go down but we’ve done some confirmatory tests that indicate that there is no brain activity. He lost me at that point.

He was always trying something new, something that scared the mess out of me! From such an early age, Jay loved adventure, the thrill of the chase, and the high of the adrenaline. My mind took me back to another time Jay was injured. I remember when my mother came running through the back screen door, screaming some sort of gibberish relating to Jay. My father evidently understood what she had said, Logan, up, move your feet! My father’s stark tone startled me. By the time I understood what was going on, we were in the car on the way to Parkland hospital. Rushing through the doors, both of my parents were frantic. Jay Eastin? We’re his parents, where is he? My dad wasn’t one to mince words. Once we were cleared to see him, the nurse led us to a room curtained off from the others. My mother jerked the curtain back. There lay my twelve year old brother, black and blue from the top left side of his head to the lower part of his neckline. I later learned that he had been swinging on a rope from the second floor balcony trying to land on an air raft. He obviously missed. He suffered a minor concussion then, but we were all terrified just the same. He was able to leave the hospital that day.

Coming to my senses, Dr. Whitten realized I had no clue as to what he was saying to me. He gently led me to the chair sitting in the hall. Ms. Brookes, the only thing keeping him alive right now is the machine breathing for him. Jay is not expected to make it. You need to call your family in. I’m sorry. With that, he turned on his heel and disappeared. "Family, what family?" I whispered to myself. The thought of not having Jay hurt more than leaving Andrew, more than not having my parents. Maybe it was because he was all I had left. I should not have to do this. I can’t do it. It’s all too much.

I would give anything to be able to call Andrew, or my mom and dad. Everyone I loved left me. The one person that swore to love me until the end of time, I walked away from; before he could leave me first. The pain I felt deep within was like nothing I had ever felt before. Excruciating.

I need them so bad, I need them, I...I can’t breathe.

The stream of tears wouldn’t stop, my eyes were on fire, and felt like they were going to pop out of my head. Every breath I tried to take in only caused my breathing to stutter. The short breathy gasps racked my body.

Again, I was in another place besides my head. I’m not sure where I went but I wasn’t focusing on the moment. I was in a daze, a fog.

I sat motionless, watching nurses running up and down the hall from room to room, men with white lab coats, a lady wearing the thin coverings over her shoes cleaning up a mess. This could not be happening.

Please God, wake me up!

Logan. Logan! I jolted up, recognizing the voice.

Logan, can you hear me? I felt the nudging, but I just swayed back and forth in the hard chair.

I shook my head realizing I was just staring at him.

It was Seth, Jay’s adrenaline junkie partner in crime.

He was on his knees, right in my face and I couldn’t even focus. I could feel his hand on my shoulder and his hot breathe on my chin.

Um yes, I..I hear you. When did you get here? Blankly I questioned him, staring off into space.

Seth went into telling me what happened, insisting they should have never been out there doing what they were doing. His words shook me to the core.

Jay was riding his crotch rocket, trying to impress a car load of girls. Jay was riding on the back tire, the front tire high in the air. As he came down on both tires just as an eighteen wheeler cut him off. Jay tried to swerve to miss it, but clipped the back end of the trailer. It sent him into the air and he landed at least twenty five feet from the bike. He was wearing a helmet but it cracked on impact.

Seth shook his head, choking back tears, We shouldn’t have been out there. We shouldn’t have gone. Logan, I’m so sorry, this is my fault.

This got my attention. I jerked my head in his direction, and if looks could kill…

You’re right Seth. You shouldn’t have been out there! What the hell were you thinking? All for the rush; was it worth it? Was it fucking worth it? My brother is dying. He’s dead! All because you couldn’t get your fix! I was pissed, and Seth caught my wrath!

Instinctively, I stood, as he did and continuously shoved my finger in his chest, backing him up, yelling, all the while.

How could you? How could you let him do this? It is your fault, all your fault dammit. I hate you…I hate you…you did this! My voice trailed off as my sobs interrupted the words.

With tears in his eyes, he backed away from me, and staggered down the hall.

Seth was your typical tall, dark and rugged guy. His hair was chocolate brown with soft curls, his eyes were light golden pools of senselessness. He always played the Billy badass type; you know ten feet tall and bullet proof? But there went a strong stubborn man, hurt and crying.

Good! He knew better. Sadly, so did I. No one could have convinced Jay to steer clear of danger. And no one including Seth could talk him out of what he wanted to do.

Realizing I caused a dramatic scene, I turned to the waiting room to make the call I wished I didn’t have to. My throat burned, my thoughts swam around in a sea of nothing, and my heart longed for what it couldn’t have.

I fumbled in my bag for my phone, mindlessly finding it, I slowly dialed Miles’ number.

Time seemingly ceased to exist. I agreed to stay at the Eastin home to help sort through Jay’s belongings. Try as I may, I could never really figure Mrs. Eastin out, one minute she loved me, the next her demeanor was cold and callous. With Jay’s passing, I was on the receiving end of the sweet, and thoughtful woman. She offered up the guest room but my heart wouldn’t allow me to accept. As difficult as it was I chose to stay in Jay’s bedroom, I wanted, no I needed to feel close to him. I needed that connection with my brother. I tried to stay busy sorting and boxing up his belongings. But busy wasn’t keeping me from thinking.

His room was fairly large. On the wall opposite the two large windows that overlooked the Eastin’s backyard was a queen size black platform bed covered with a white down comforter, accented with black and red plaid pillow shams, and decorative pillows. On either side of the bed stood matching night stands, both holding red lamps. On the stand closest to the door Jay kept a picture of our family, mom, dad, me and Jay laughing deliriously. On the wall furthest from the door stood the chest of drawers holding about ten more pictures of various people Jay knew, including more family photos.

Jay’s room was just as he had left it. It wasn’t nice and tidy but it smelled of him, his Axe cologne. The thought of his cologne made me chuckle to myself. We used to tease him saying the girls would be all over him, like in the commercials. He always had a comeback! This one time saying and this is a problem because? His dress clothes still hung on the outside of his closet with his cap and gown, his black suede shoes sitting just below. The dirty laundry was still in a mesh bag in the corner. I could feel the lump back in my throat.

I flung myself down on Jay’s unmade bed, disappearing in his comforter, letting the emotions and memories consume me. As the tears welled up, I forced my eyelids closed. Pressing them tight hoping it would help ease the pain. It didn’t. My heart ached for everything, and everyone I had lost. I let my mind wander, reminiscing.

I remember the day mom and dad brought Jay home from the hospital, after he was born. I was five years old, and had anxiously awaited his arrival. I waited so patiently for my turn to hold my baby brother. He had really dark curly hair, and looked a little squishy to me. But he was such a sight especially for my little eyes. Mom placed him gently in my arms. Watch his head Logan, be easy okay? Mom talked with the sweetest soothing voice. I was so excited to hold him in my arms. I leaned my nose to his forehead breathing him in. I thought he smelled so good; I can’t even describe the scent. I was ecstatic to have a new baby brother! Our younger years flew by and we didn’t have a care in the world. Our parents were amazing, we always felt safe. Not alone. As I got older I realized I wasn’t always so eager to have a sibling who thought he needed to be everywhere I was or do everything I did, or tell everything I did to our parents. I laughed at the thought of Jay’s bribes, and tattling just to get his way. I’d give anything to have those times back. Hind sight is twenty twenty. If I had only known then what I know now. I take it all back Jay, you can follow me anywhere, do anything I do. Just be here, please just come back. Pressing my head further into the pillow, my gaze remained on the ceiling. My vision blurred, and my eyes felt heavy as my mind continued to drift.

I thought I heard a slight tap on the hollow door, but the tap echoed loud in my head. My heart was racing and I felt a sudden fear come over me. I sat straight up in the bed trying to catch my breath. I hated that feeling! I must have dozed off.

I stared at the door for a moment, hoping whoever was on the other side would just go away and leave me be. But at the same time, I couldn’t stand the silence. I didn’t speak I just sat staring at the door. My thoughts weren’t thoughts at all, my mind was blank as I sat motionless lost in the nothingness that surrounded me.

The door slowly opened and I could barely make out the profile on the other side. I could tell it was a man. As the door opened further I realized who it was and sudden panic set in. A flood of emotion rushed through me. The emotions varied from anger, to guilt, from pain to relief.

What the hell was he doing here? Oh my damn.

I couldn’t seem to comprehend his presence. But there he was peering in, looking at me with those eyes. Those beautiful green eyes…

Although I’m sure my appearance wasn’t the best, it didn’t matter. Andrew had seen me at my worst. Still, I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to smooth it down. I rolled my eyes at the absurdity, knowing he didn’t care what I looked like. His gaze continued to run over me. My pain was fairly evident. He could see I was in hell with no signs of escaping anytime soon. My eyes continued to linger on the man standing at the door. The man who once belonged to me.

Two steps in the door and he was at the side of the bed. He gently seated himself near my feet, his eyes never leaving mine.

My heart was thumping so hard within my chest that I could hear the pulsating in my ears. I didn’t know whether to run or lunge at him. So I did what any reasonable person would do, I just stared at him. I let out a loud breathy sigh not realizing I was holding it.

Hey. Lo, you okay? Andrew spoke so hushed it was almost a whisper.

I looked at him dumbfounded. Am I okay? Really? Who asked something like that when they knew it took everything in you to even open your eyes? I had lost everything that mattered most in my life. No I wasn’t okay. I wasn’t sure if I ever would be. I felt his hand rest on my shin. My body automatically tensed yet relaxed at the same time. It reacted on its own accord when it came to Andrew.

The sudden sting in my eyes and blurred vision caused me to instantly break the gaze, dropping my eyes to my wringing hands in my lap. I could feel the warm wetness trickle down my cheek. As hard as I tried I couldn’t keep from crying. I didn’t understand why he was here or why the emotions poured out at the sight of him. No one had mentioned him or spoke of his plans. Maybe it was because they didn’t want to make the situation any more difficult than it already was. No matter what went down between us, he was trying to be the support I needed. I needed him. It was then that I realized the tears weren’t just for the loss of Jay, but for Andrew.

Andrew… my voice trailed off. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say to him, if I should even say anything. After all what could I say? I couldn’t bring myself to bring my eyes back to his; he was still the way I remembered, even his touch. He was just a little older…and what is that? A tattoo? He didn’t have a tattoo. Oh yes he did!

I couldn’t help but take in his appearance. I was immediately drawn to the tattoo on the inside of his right forearm. It didn’t cover the entire area just the center, just below the bend of his arm. It was wording of some kind, inscribed inside a beautiful rose. I couldn’t make out what it said. It was beautifully detailed; shades of red and black flowed over it.

Andrew leaned across my leg, bracing himself on the bed. His muscles to tightened in his upper body; I could see the lean cut of each chiseled one. His sandy blond hair had a slight tousled look to it, but it wasn’t messy. His jaw was squared, and his features finely pointed. He looked as though he came straight off the beach. He was beautiful.

Andrew slowly reached for my face slightly lifting my chin just enough to meet my eyes with his. I pressed my face into his hand sighing at his touch. As if there were nothing but space between us he smiled a half pressed smile.

I miss that smile. Look