Once Upon An "IT" girl: Confessions Of A Hot Chick

Let me first start by introduce myself; my name is Lwazi Mhlongo, I have a twin brother, Kwazi and an older sister Lindiwe.

My family is pretty well known around my hood, all thanks to my father, a local businessman; he owns a bottle store and a bakery. We're very humble despite our little fortune, we still stay elokshin and my brother is the only one who's not a model C in the house.

I didn't go to the most expensive school, but non the less, my parents tried to put me in a good school. We stay in Bloemfontein so quite obviously black people send their children to Brebner when they think they have money so I am a statistic.

I grew up an intellect; I preferred reading and watching TV instead of playing outside with other children so this made me very shy. My family always thought I would end up with a PhD, but life happened.

This is my story....

#1

All my life I was a girl who minded her own business, sure I had a lot of boys trying their luck with me but they never succeeded because all I was interested in was my studies, novels, magazines and TV.  I could have continued in this pattern and believe me I would probably be an astronaut by now, but like many other hopeful young girls I suffer from the curse, THE CURSE OF BEING A YELLOWBONE!

At first I didn't really mind, looks didn't matter to me, my sister was a tomboy so I really had no one to look up to in that department. My mother tried her best to keep my hair straight, taught me basic hygiene, how to look presentable and all but the only thing I managed to pick up was the habit of carrying hand sanitizer with me at all times (germs freak me out).  I didn't really care that I was pretty, I didn't really care that I had a body most girls starve themselves to get. I look like a model, except I’ve got a little more ass. Now the curse of the yellow-bone didn't kick in for a very long time, because I was modest.

In grade 10 my cousin decided she's had enough of my timid tendencies and dragged me to the debating team, at first it was pretty tough speaking in front of so many people but as time went by I got the hang of it, I even became the team's best speaker, ironically, they used me to attack. All that public speaking and debate faded away the shyness and alas! My alter ego took over. I started getting popular, and with popularity comes popular friends, and with the popular crowd of course comes a boyfriend. Being easy on the eye... Well make that very easy on the eye, I had long caught the attention of the most popular guy at school, and as fate would have it, he started chasing me.

#2

I was 15 years old at the time and to me this whole dating business didn't make sense. Sure some of my friends had boyfriends, but I just didn't get the point because unlike white folks our parents don't condone such nonsense. If they catch you with a boy they will beat the crap out of you, simple!

I must admit though Mr Popular was quite hot, he was a bit of a bimbo though, but I guess he over compensated by his good looks and swag. I enjoyed the silly little attention he gave me, I don't know how he got hold of my number coz all of a sudden he started texting and calling. My friends were all for the relationship, they kept pushing me to give him a chance. Well to me that idea wasn't quite appealing, we all know how 15 year olds in private schools have raging hormones, everybody was experimenting with sex and I had no intention of starting in that department anytime soon. I had made a pact with myself that I would wait until I've started working so that if I fall pregnant I will be able to take care of my child, and if I contract HIV I will be able to take care of myself.

After a month of having this work of art chasing after me, I decided to give him 20min of my time. He took me out for a milkshake after school and we sat and talked, you know how ridiculous little boys are when they mack on a girl, he said he loves me. Dude what do you love about me when all you know about me is that we go to the same school? that was my critical self punching holes in his little declaration. He went on and on about how pretty I am, how smart I am, how much I'm always in the school's top10 students, how he likes my style... U know all that crap they try to flatter you with. Well I wasn't about to give in that easily, I friend zoned him; I told him if he's serious, we'll start dating after my 16th birthday. He had a reputation to uphold so he agreed to my absurd suggestion. From that day on we became friends-ish.

Unfortunately us being friends meant he could have a girlfriend, this now drove me crazy coz he started dating my academic rival, the little fluff was more than pleased to rub it in my face coz the whole school could see the chemistry between ubhutiza and I. Fine I decided to be a good friend and support this, but now that I was starting to develop feelings for him, it was getting harder everyday.

My best friend, Nomfundo, God bless that crazy soul; came up with a plan to separate them. On a normal day I would decline being part of such, but this guy was turning me into something else. The plan was to sabotage their relationship, evil I know, but it kind of felt good doing something unrighteous for a change. 

Lufuno was very smart, that's why we were rivals academically, but as for looks, shame she was jst below average. She didn't really get much male attention, and that right there was our plan. Get her all the attention from the popular guys, this alone would just drive her mad and soon enough she would think she's irresistible enough to not be at Theo's mercy. Theo was my Mr Popular. All of a sudden I was starting to feel entitled to this guy and nobody else was supposed to have him except me.

#3

Driving a wedge between those two became simpler than I thought, as fate would have it, that smug little prick felt nothing for Lufuno, he was just with her to grill my cheese... It sure did work alright!

As I have blown my own trumpet about my looks, I am one fine poppy, then there's my twin brother, the guy is just hot shem, if he ever decides to get married I think the girl should pay dowry. Quite obviously I was gonna ask him to make a move on Lufuno. It was going to be quite tricky though because he had chosen to go to a public school, he cut a deal with daddy dearest that all the tuition saved from grade 8-12 should buy him a car when he completes his matric, clever fellow this one. But none the less he was still popular with most girls at my school because 1. He's my brother, 2. He had friends at my school and 3. He was that hot guy who sometimes picked me or his girlfriends up in a Mercedes (for some reason they let him drive without a license). My brother was the bubbly twin between us, he was outspoken, a flirt, obsessed with his looks (a vanity slave in fact), and as expected for someone of his character he was a ladies man. He had it quite easy being a cheeseboy at a public school; girls didn't hesitate throwing their cats at him. He was pretty smooth though, so I knew I wouldn't go wrong with him.

One day when he came to pick me up from school, I showed him Funi and asked him what he thought about her. I'd tap that, probably with a pillow over her face. She has a nice ass though. that was his response, yeah; my brother was quite a jerk at times. I knew just how to play him, so I bet him he can't tap her in 2 weeks. When he asked why I told her she's committed to her books, and she's Theo's girl. Be prepared to lose 500bucks mini me, in 2 weeks that girl will be asking me to marry her. that's all he said and we drove off. He called me mini me, apparently he was born 10 minutes before me, so he thinks he's older than me.

When we got home we found our mother packing, said she has urgent business to attend to in Joburg. My mom was trying to turn her boutique into a franchise; she owned a boutique and was a psychologist by profession. Dad on the other hand owned a bottle store and a bakery and was a lawyer by profession. So you can just understand the pressure of coming from a family of such well established people. My sister had just matriculated and was travelling the world (coconut tendencies) I swear I had never heard that woman speak one sentence in vernacular, she was full blown English, dad tried and failed to get her to at least speak vernac around the house especially when our relatives are visiting, but Leigh (I don't know how the hell Lindiwe turned into Leigh overnight) just wouldn't budge. Well every family has a crazy bugger, and she was our crazy little bugger and we loved her.

Mom was unsure how long he'd be gone, dad was in Cape Town working on a high profile case, so this meant me and Kwazi were home alone. Dangerous combination, I could already imagine how many girls are gonna be waking up in this house. I wonder what they even told their parents when they came to sleep over here. Most importantly, didn't it bother them that this guy had a huge jar of condoms in his room? I wouldn't trust him shem!

The minute mom drove out of the gate, Kwazi looked at me and said not only am I gonna tap her, we're pulling an all-nighter, double the bet little one! okay I might have felt a little bad for Funi, but you know that little devil in your head that keeps telling you not to listen to the angel? That devil told me not to feel sorry for her, I had to focus on the big picture, forget collateral damage this girl was standing on my way... After all Theo seemed quite worth it.

#4

I went on to do my homework, and Kwazi of course went and did what he's good at; spend money on chicks in hopes of getting laid. Kwazi was your typical teenager, he had just discovered that his dick can work and boy was he using it! He had no steady girlfriend, unfortunately all his girlfriends thought they were his steady girlfriend, he's quite a great liar, he knew just what girls wanted to hear and just how to make them feel special. I guess this is why I was reluctant to start dating, seeing what a two-timing bastard my brother was made me wonder if someone won't do the same to me. Okay I must admit maybe I was his accomplice because I played buddy buddy squiza with all the girls he introduced me to, so this is probably what made them believe they we're the main girl. Well tough luck for them, blood is thicker than milkshake, so I was not ready to sell out my brother just so some girl with loose morals can escape a broken heart. We all make our own beds and must therefore lie in them. This whole but why didn't you warm me excuse is just pathetic, every man for himself. That's how we were raised, not sure if Leigh was raised the same way though, she was a bit of a brat. Kwazi helped out at the bottle store to get an allowance, I helped out at the boutique, Leigh just stayed at home and did her nails if she wasn't riding around on her boyfriend's motorbike. She was a free spirit, sometimes I found her fun, most times I found her a bit too reckless.

Just as I was wrapping up and about to pack my books, my phone rang, it was Theo, I turned red, butterflies in the stomach and all... So much for friend zoning the guy! Anyhu, I answered and he said he just bumped into my brother at Water World, he asked if I’m by any chance with him, I told him I wasn't and he asked if he can come fetch me, since it was a Friday, I agreed. I quickly packed my bag, changed into hot pants and flip flops and waited for him. In 30 minutes he was at my door, I walked out and locked the door, guy forgot to mention his mom is driving him, eish you see these coconuts and their way too personal relationships with their parents! I felt a bit skanky meeting his mom wearing shorts but she didn't seem to mind. We went and picked up Lufuno then headed to Water World, this was kind of awkward; there was without doubt some tension between me and Funi. I think someone forgot to give me the memo because when we arrived the place was packed with all the cool kids from my school, and. other schools. I ringed my friends and asked Kwazi to go pick them up, I was loving the vibe here, but I needed people that I could be comfortable around.

Watching Funi and Theo all lovey dovey was pretty sickening, as soon as my crew arrived I vented out. Kenosi was the female version of Kwazi, Nozipho a bit like me still tryina get into this cool kids scene and Nomfundo a bit of a tart but very academically focused. Kenosi advised me to make Theo jealous by hooking up with one of the guys from Grey College, Leruo; he had been giving me the eye since I got there. As time went on whispers started spreading and people started disappearing, there was a party at a guest house in Hospital Park... Rich kids know how to blow money this much I can promise you. So we also left for the guest house, my 1st party ever! Just two cups of punch were enough to get a convo started with Leruo, Kwazi came over to check if everything is okay with me and make sure I wasn't drunk, well after a couple of subtle threats to wring Leruo's neck if he tries to take advantage, Kwazi left and went back to his usual business.

I'm not gonna lie, the party was off the chains, as darkness covered the sky and people got drunk things got very interesting. I was starting to feel all hot from the punch so Leruo and I went outside, we stood there talking, it was a bit chilly, so he wrapped his arms around me. He was a pretty interesting fellow, played for his school's rugby 1st team and he was just a shot of life to be around. I was starting to get pretty taken. Soon enough I needed the loo and I went inside, came back out and found him still waiting for me, with a refill, so sweet, we sat on the stoep, I was btwn his legs...strong legs might I add. As per normal procedure one thing led to another and we kissed, my 1st kiss, didn't imagine I’d be tipsy for it, but hey it is what it is, I was living in the moment. Out of the blue someone pulled him from the kiss and punched him in the face. Hau we ma, yini manje? I look up and here stands Theo looking 7 kinds of angry screaming how dare you take advantage of her?

#5

Hai ke, this was a shock in deed. Not long ago this guy was about to get to 2nd base with Funi in the kitchen, now all of a sudden he's outside punching my man. Yep I called him my man, you know how naïve kids are, that kiss to me meant there was something cooking between us. Leruo didn't take it lying down shem, he stood up and punched him back, before we know it they were fighting. Luckily though there were not many people outside and those who were didn't make a noise about it, so only a few people witnessed it until they were pulled apart. Now I was standing there not knowing which guy to speak to 1st, Theo was now a bit embarrassed because his girlfriend was giving him a WTF face. Leruo was a gentleman; he asked me if I’m fine then apologized for being rowdy. He then tried to speak to Theo and figure out what's his story. Theo quickly covered up his jealousy by saying he was just trying to stick up for a friend, he wasn't aware that I’m not drunk, he said he just saw the Styrofoam cups next to us and figured I was sloshed and he was taking advantage, he then apologized. It was fine; they shook on it and said no hard feelings. My naïve teenage self was over the moon, this guy took a fist for me the very 1st day we started talking, in my mind there were X and Os klaar. We went back inside, Kenosi texted me and told me they were chilling in one of the bedrooms playing games, so we went to them.

Just my luck they were playing spin the bottle, it was more of a couples thing, but loners were welcome if they bring a +1 just to maintain balance. When it was my turn to spin, the bottle landed on Lerato, now this chick is just hot shem, my tipsy self got turned on by the thought of kissing her no matter how straight I thought I was. You know how boys will cheer on this shit but when they have to kiss each other they just peck nje. Anyhu, I didn't mind, she obviously intoxicated, pulled me in and we kissed, it was just fireworks, even better than Leruo. We were kneeling in the circle, her hands on my ass and my hands on her boobs, slowly sliding down. It was getting a little out of hand, so they stopped us because we were turning people on now. I was turned on myself; I had a sensation all over my body that I couldn't understand. The game continued though and I got a chance to kiss Leruo again and some other guys. The door opened and in walked Theo with Tshego, owkay, weird, where was Funi now? Why's he with this chikka now? Ah I brushed it off and they sat down and joined in, the game went on until it almost got boring, that was until it was Theo's turn and the bottle landed on me. But you can't expect me to kiss my friend, she's like a sister to me he exclaimed. Everybody just shouted kiss kiss kiss and then we did, there was something different about this kiss though. It wasn't rough, it wasn't sexy, it wasn't warm like Leruo's. This one felt magical, very slow, like my soul was opening up and letting a piece of his in, I felt a connection being made, it was just out of this world. After our kids the game changed to strip poker, I decided I wanna leave, I just didn't know how I was gonna act normal after what we just shared. I told Leruo I want to leave, he walked with me to try and find my brother, as per normal procedure there was no sign of Kwazi Mhlongo. Fine, so Leruo decided he'll take his friend's car and drive me home, I teased him and asked what he knows about driving eKasi in the dark, he just looked at me, smiled then said trust me, you are worth driving in the bundus with a Rolls Royce.

When I got home I saw the car in the yard, mxm this guy probably left me behind for pussy. The door wasn't locked so I just threw myself in, and right there on the kitchen counter was my brother and Lufuno. Yuk man K'zee we make our food there! I said and went to my room, quickly sent Nomfundo an sms and told her what I just saw, she didn't respond, probably drunk by now, I thought. I didn't take off my clothes, just threw myself on the bed and started replaying the whole day in my head till I fell asleep.

Saturday morning I woke up around 10am, took a shower then went to the kitchen to eat, I found my brother and Lufuno feeding each other pancakes, kids! So, Lufuno Ravhele, you deserted my friend for my brother? If I didn't know better I’d say you're trying to get close to me, you just don't know how. in my most sarcastic voice ever. Lufuno just giggled and said she can't help it of the men in my life find her irresistible. If only she knew this one was costing me a thousand bucks! I just laughed it off, took a yogurt out of the fridge and headed out. I stood at the corner waiting for a taxi to town, but I got something way better, Kenosi and some guys in an R32 obviously older, they pulled over and she asked me to hop in. I just spontaneously went in, the guys introduced themselves as Jerome and Lesego, they were headed to the mall to get supplies, they were having a picnic today and invited me, I didn't really have plans and the only reason why I was going to town was to get Kwazi's money and thought I’d catch a movie, argh I figured I should just join them, I just needed to shop for an outfit though. When we got to the mall Kenosi and I separated from the guys coz I told them I want to get a dress or something picnicish coz I was wearing yoga pants. Notice, the curse was slowly starting to kick in coz now all of a sudden I cared about what I was wearing. Jerome commented on how good I look in yoga pants, a little bit of arrogance I said I know instead of the usual thank you. Leruo called me and asked how I slept, he was really sweet this one shem, we had a little convo while Kenosi chatted up some guy, he told me his friends from UOFS are having a picnic by the park, told him I’m with Kenosi and some friends of hers who were also having a picnic. Turns out it was the same park, same crew... Okay maybe he's a bit too popular for a matriculant, oh what the hell I was starting to like him, told him I’d meet him there. Now I had to look extra good. Kenosi had managed to score us a discount, not that we needed it but she just liked knowing she can make men do anything she wants.

We caught up with the guys, went and bought booze, went to spur for a quick bite then we left. When we got to the park I spotted Leruo, turns out Lesego is his brother, small world I tell you. The picnic was fun, I didn't drink too much though, didn't wanna ruin my skin. Around 8pm I asked Leruo to take me home, he drove me home and parked by the gate we chilled in the car, chatted a bit then started kissing. Seconds into the kiss someone knocked on the window, I looked back, bloody hell it was my mom. I got out of the car, so this is the shit that goes on in my house when I’m not around? she said pulling me into the yard, Leruo drove away. Stupid me didn't see her car in the drive way because it was dark. When we got inside the house, Kwazi and Lufuno were sitting on the couch naked. My mom had caught them having sex, she called Lufuno’s parents to come over. Shit was about to go down.

#6

Yaz being a psychologist, one would expect my mom to be rational, but when it came to her children shem she was just as ratchet as any other black mother. She switched from sophisticated soft-spoken lady to a cavewoman in no time when she was pissed. I think calling Funi's parents was understandable, but couldn't she at least let them get dressed first? Poor Kwazi was sitting there with the condom still on, okay in a way it was hilarious looking at them all worried about their fate. I wonder what my punishment was going to be, surely she had to be lenient with me, my sin was nothing compared to those two's. After a good 45 minutes, Funi's parents arrived; the look on her mom's face when she saw her daughter naked next to an equally nude boy was just heartbreaking. At first she got a hot flush, got a little light-headed and fell, Mr Ravhele quickly caught her before she fell down, mom went and got her some water, she started sobbing, after she calmed down my mom told them what she had found them doing, Mr Ravhele being a bit of a traditionalist decided to leave this to the women to sort out so he left. Funi's mom asked if I had been watching, haaaa lo mama ung'thatha kanjani? Live porn?! I said no I had just arrived. My mother told me to go to my room; she would deal with me later. Go to my room? Shem no freaking ways, I wanted to see what was going to happen so I just stood in the corridor. After pulling herself together, Funi's mom went ape on them shem, I don't know what she was saying because she was speaking vhenda, but it sure sounded obscene, she smacked the Jesus out of them. My mom joined in, only after beating them black and blue did the tag team decide they should wear clothes and come sit and talk. Ok I was kak-scared now, eh what if she goes all smack down on me too? The little rascals got dressed and went into the dining room for their disciplinary hearing. I went to my room, freshened up and put on pyjamas. A few minutes later I was called into the dining room, my mother looked at me and said I understand you owe your brother a thousand rands, how true is this? I panicked, oh Gosh, had Kwazi ratted out on me? He coughed and shook his head, pfeew, what a relief I said yes and told her he did some chores for me, big mistake; he had said he took me to the party in exchange for the cash. My mom asked me not to lie, she knows about the party. Well at least she didn't know I was turning into a conniving witch. However I still didn't understand what my going to the party had to do with these two having sex, till Funi's mom asked me why I let my brother deflower my friend and actually left the house to give them privacy. Deflower her? Someone had long gotten to that flower by the time I got there! that was Kwazi coming to his own defence, I really wanted to laugh at that point, Funi's mom turned red, Lufuno, I thought you were a virgin! how I wish I had popcorn at that point, Miss Goody Two Shoes started beating around the bush now, to think I thought she was a good girl all along, kanti she was just an undercover skank! Trust my mom to make this about me, and you little Missy? Are you still a virgin? she asked. I confidently said yes, she told me after what she saw tonight she had a hard time believing me, next weekend you're going to your aunt's in kwaNongoma uyohlolwa sisi she said in a deadly serious tone, ah was this really necessary though, I was hurt but its fine, she'll be the one apologizing next weekend. She wasn't done with me shem, she told me she was enrolling me at C&N Sekondere Meisie Skool Oranje, and I was going to stay at the hostel so that I won't have much freedom. I was just looking at her like forgive her my Lord she knows not what she's doing everybody knows Oranje girls especially the Koshuis ones were skanks, ok nothing compared to girls from Eunice but they were 2nd in line. She said my brother would go to Grey College and also stay at the hostel. I think she wasn't really informed in this department shem, she was literally giving us guilt-free passes. It didn't matter that the year had already started; she would pull some strings to get us in. I was just glad I didn't get an ass whooping. I was dismissed and went back to my room. They continued talking to those sex crazed maniacs until around 11pm only after that Funi and her mom left. Mom called me, and asked why I didn't cook, like seriously, this woman was just trying to pick a fight stru. We decided to go get takeaways; this was one awkward trip I tell you. We drove to town and went to steers by the garage in Brandwag, mom just knew how to manipulate situations shem, she looked at Kwazi and said supper's on you Mr Money. I giggled a bit.

When Kwazi was inside ordering, mom and I got to talk. She told me she understands what it’s like being a teenager with a pretty face and perky titts, but I shouldn't lose focus on what's important, boys come and go especially when you're pretty but a good education lasts forever. She asked me to stop seeing boys at least until my final year in varsity. Eh lo mlungu! Final year varsity? I of course pretended I agreed to everything she was saying. Kwazi came back and we drove back home, we all went to eat in our rooms.

Sunday morning you would swear last night's drama didn't happen my mom was all cheerful and making jokes. We all got ready for church; in this house church is compulsory and non-negotiable.

When we came back from church we got the surprise of our life, Leigh was home, busy cooking as if she had woken up here. Mom was happy to see her; she just couldn't wait to tell her what we had been up to. Lunch time came and we all sat at the table eating, mom asked Leigh what brings her home, she smiled and happily said I'm getting married Yep, that's the reckless part I was talking about. She was 18, what the hell did she think she was doing? Mom just looked at her and told her she's just gonna let this one run its course. Like I have said, Leigh was a free spirit, like the sit in the garden and have tea half-naked kind of free spirit, mom always said she has a mental condition and we should all just try and be supportive and loving. I guess that's why this whole marriage thing wasn't taken seriously. I felt like this mental condition rubbish made her get away with murder, for one she has brought home 8 boyfriends since high school, but here I am being told not to date. I found it pretty unfair. After lunch I packed the dishes in the washer and went to my room, I got a text from Leruo that read I'm sorry about last night, hope you're okay. I miss you. just as I was typing a response, a call came