Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Maggie for Hire: Maggie MacKay: Magical Tracker, #1
    Maggie for Hire: Maggie MacKay: Magical Tracker, #1
    Maggie for Hire: Maggie MacKay: Magical Tracker, #1
    Ebook257 pages3 hours

    Maggie for Hire: Maggie MacKay: Magical Tracker, #1

    By Kate Danley

    4/5

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    NOW OPTIONED FOR TELEVISION

     

    "A shot glass full of awesomesauce." -The Dark Side of the Covers

     

    She just wanted to pay her rent, but vampires came after her family.  This magical tracker is about to tear the world a new portal.

    When monsters show up in Los Angeles, Maggie MacKay is is the one you call to haul them back to the dimension where they belong.

    But when a mysterious elf saves her from a vampire attack, a whole new world is about to be opened to her.  The scope of her tracking business is about to expand interdimensionally...

    Come along with Maggie, her elfin sidekick Killian, and her crazy family in this USA Today bestseller for a snarky urban fantasy adventure.

    WARNING: This book contains cussing, brawling, and unladylike behavior. Proceed with caution.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherKatherine Danley
    Release dateSep 13, 2011
    ISBN9781498965019
    Maggie for Hire: Maggie MacKay: Magical Tracker, #1
    Author

    Kate Danley

    Kate Danley, an award-winning actress, playwright, and author, is a member of the Acme Comedy Improv and sketch troupes in Los Angeles. Her plays have been produced in New York, Los Angeles, and the Washington, DC/Baltimore area. Danley’s screenplay Fairy Blood won first place in the Breckenridge Festival of Film screenwriting competition in the action/adventure category. Her debut novel, The Woodcutter, was honored with the Garcia Award for the best fiction book of the year, was the first place fantasy book in the Reader Views Literary Awards, and the winner of the sci-fi/fantasy category of the Next Generation Indie Book Awards. Kate currently lives in Burbank, California, and works by day as office manager for education and exhibits at the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles.

    Read more from Kate Danley

    Related to Maggie for Hire

    Titles in the series (12)

    View More
    View More

    Related ebooks

    Occult & Supernatural For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      The Fortune Teller

      Jul 10, 2021

      My head has a liquid feel to it as I stumble down the street. The bottle of red wine in my belly making it seem like my limbs have become balloons, and at any moment they might float away. Next to me, Michael has a stupid whiskey grin stretched acros

      18 min read

    • Article

      Now That I’ve Arrived

      Dec 30, 2020

      Now That I’ve Arrived
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Fortune Teller’s Confession

      Aug 10, 2022

      White obscured the man as he waddled down the old dirt path, which was disappearing under the snowfall. I brought the axe down one last time before I paused, stepping back in reflex as the wood split, each half tumbling in an unpredictable direction.

      12 min read

    • Article

      I Am the Walrus

      Nov 12, 2019

      I Am the Walrus
      7 min read

    • Article

      Puppy Love

      Mar 19, 2021

      Puppy Love
      5 min read

    • Article

      One Word: Striking

      Jun 26, 2019

      One Word: Striking
      4 min read

    • Article

      Sweet Sorrow

      Aug 19, 2019

      Sweet Sorrow
      8 min read

    • Article

      The Hammer Interview Steve-o

      Jul 20, 2023

      Before finding fame with MTV’s OTT stunt show Jackass, Steve-O had already had some wild experiences. He’d lived in five countries, been arrested multiple times, and worked as a clown on a cruise ship. Then, as Jackass evolved from TV hit to worldwid

      7 min read

    • Article

      Dark Tales

      Dec 2, 2021

      Dark Tales
      6 min read

    • Article

      Anti Hero

      Apr 7, 2022

      Anti Hero
      6 min read

    • Article

      Before You Melt Into The Sea

      Feb 3, 2022

      Before You Melt Into The Sea
      11 min read

    • Article

      Confessions Of A Hitman

      Oct 14, 2019

      Confessions Of A Hitman
      3 min read

    • Article

      Two Poems by Phillip B. Williams

      Dec 15, 2017

      The masters are yet dead. Wanting to be human,I tried to rewrite The Waste Land. The canon’s reachcasts ruinous light. The masters’ pens breachthis page where, above, my own hand spectates. Babylonrisen, exorcism in reverse, whose nature upended now?

      6 min read

    • Article

      Joshua Mohr: The Time I Robbed a Liquor Store

      Mar 10, 2017

      Our alibi was a sandy blanket in the back of my truck, an acoustic guitar, a knockout brunette in the passenger seat. Our alibi was a night picnic at the beach. When we got pulled over—if we got pulled over—the cop would peer in the cab and he’d thin

      6 min read

    • Article

      My Lucky Safari In Tanzania

      Jun 1, 2017

      My Lucky Safari In Tanzania
      11 min read

    • Article

      Robert C. Koehler: Shatter alley

      Nov 17, 2022

      Can a poem transcend fury — fury combined with helplessness? Can individual property owners join NATO? Having no other options than simply to continue seething, let me tear myself psychologically open for a moment here and see what happens. Yeah, thi

      3 min read

    • Article

      My Garden Is Infested With Die Cast Creatures

      Jul 4, 2023

      I tried everything to stop them from tearing the place up. Traps, food, female companions… but nothing worked. These die cast creatures continued to infest my garden, leaving their little plastic or metal droppings everywhere. It was getting to the p

      2 min read

    • Article

      What’s It Like to Be Me Right Now?

      Nov 6, 2018

      What’s It Like to Be Me Right Now?
      4 min read

    • Article

      Guilt - Edge Security

      May 10, 2021

      I sat beside the bar rubbing my glass across polished mahogany and watching trails of moisture it left behind. It must have cost them a fortune to ship real wood way out to the Rim. It didn’t look synthetic. I looked over at the barman and he tossed

      11 min read

    • Article

      The Leather Coat

      Apr 4, 2024

      The Leather Coat
      6 min read

    • Article

      Robert C. Koehler: Growing Old In The Newborn Universe

      Aug 25, 2021

      That link between age and wisdom — is it just a joke? Suddenly I’m curious in a real way. I just turned . . . 75. There’s a significance to that number that isn’t abstract, and I’m having a hard time ignoring it. Perhaps it has more to do with catara

      4 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Maggie for Hire

    4/5

    115 ratings19 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 5/5
      Fun read. Very fast read done in one sitting, you just don't want to put down. I will now look for more in the series. Good characters.
    • 2/5
      How to put this... Maggie for Hire is a very, very average sort of urban fantasy offering. There are some interesting ideas in the book and a number of amusingly snappy lines, but ultimately I was not impressed enough to want to read more in the series. Witty banter without real substance just isn't enough for me.
    • 4/5
      "Maggie For Hire" is a fast, funny and furious thrill-ride through The Other Side. Kate Danley's second novel hits the ground running and doesn't pause to catch its breath until the final pages. An utterly delicious, guilty-pleasure of a book.
    • 4/5
      I enjoyed Maggie for Hire. Maggie comes from a family of different worlds. Her mother is human and has the seer ability. Her father is from the Other World and is a tracker. Maggie has the powers while her twin sister does not.Maggie's life takes a turn when an Elf named Killian comes to her rescue and proceeds to tell her that she is needed to save both Earth and the Other World. Maggie discovers that she actually has family and it is her evil Uncle Ulrich who she will have to destroy to save the human world from Vampires.This was a nice easy read for a cold Sunday morning.
    • 5/5
      Maggie for Hire (Maggie MacKay, Magical Tracker,#1)

      Maggie MacKay is a tracker of supernatural beings, she is great at her job. She learned from the best, her Dad, who disappeared without a trace in the middle of an assignment.

      An elf named Killian has shown up with an assignment. Maggie's Uncle is working with the forces of dark to turn Earth into a "Vampire Convenience Store", with humans as their number one source. Together the two have to track down magical objects, and stop her evil Uncle.

      A fast paced supernatural thriller. I really liked Maggie, she is spunky, sassy, down to earth and knows her job well. Killian was just as likable. I liked the plot, it was original, the characters were well rounded, the supernatural beings were awesome.

      There was a lot of action, drama, and humor. I like that in a story. I definitely will be following Maggie's story and highly recommend Maggie for Hire to those who love supernatural thrillers. I also liked the cover, it captures Maggie at her best.
    • 4/5
      I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I really liked the urban fantasy twist that uses magic in one world with portals between that and this world.

      The book is written in a very conversational style. There are few details - and lots of snark and conversation. My favorite kind of book! The love interest (at least that is my assumption) is an elf. I like elves. Much better than werewolves. Or vampires. So, I am tickled as punch with the use of an elf as the love interest.

      Even though I strongly resist reading anything that involves vampires, I really liked the use in this book. There is not enough detail to be creepy. It is just kind of assumed that you realize vampires are creepy. When the breed does something beyond what is "understood" to be normal for them, the author explains why they are able to do so. (I.E. be out in daylight.) And, the word sparkle was never used in the same sentence.

      I purchased this book on a free promotion. As such, I tend to be on the look out for grammar and other writing issues that might (or might not) remove one from the story. Not to nit-pick, but to review for others. I did find the use of the word "bring" instead of "take" which is a personal pet peeve, so it definitely jumped me out of the story. And that could honestly happen to any author. But, I found no other grammar related issues.

      The book is written in a very conversational style. If one enjoys a great deal of description or detail, they would be advised to look elsewhere. (Easily explained when I read the author blurb - she writes plays.) The only writing element that really bothered me was the use of chapters. In a 263 page book, there are 44 chapters, with the last one being 13 pages (yes, I counted). The starting and stopping really annoyed me. That being said, each section did seem to be a perfectly logical place to chapter. I also did not like the use of the f-word. (All those who know me know the quickest way to cause me to tune out of any conversation is to use that word.) Therefore, it did make me laugh to see the author apologize to her family for its use in her acknowledgments.

      Even for the current price of $2.99, this is a great, fun read.
    • 4/5
      First, let's get out of the way what Maggie isn't - this isn't a "romance" paranormal or not. It isn't a "serious" urban fantasy work in the vein of Kate Daniels or Mercy Thompson. It is, instead, a pure and total snarky laugh riot. It is total enjoyment, a few hours of pure relaxation, where the weight of the world goes away and you can immerse yourself in another world.

      "I suddenly felt like I was about to learn that I had walked into a great big game show of The Multiverse's Next Top Stooge, Riiight."

      The world that you are immersing yourself in is really two worlds - the "normal" everyday world, and another, sitting side-by-side with this world, where all of our dreams and fears exist. If you have ever read Heinlein's "The Number of the Beast" you are familiar with multiple world theory (well, if you are familiar with modern science, you are also familiar, lol) The Other Side, in Maggie's case, is a world that fairy tale creatures and monsters of all types populate. As a Tracker, Maggie finds, and brings back to the Other Side, those who 'slip' across the barrier between worlds. What happens in this edition is exciting and entertaining, and full of a kind of snarky attitude that had me laughing out loud all through the book.

      A couple of favorite quotes:

      "Lacy interrupted herself to shout at the zombie porter, "Cut it out! He's a vampire! he doesn't have a brain!"

      "Locking eyes with a vampire: "Way To Get Yourself Killed Right Quick #84" in the Idiots Guide to not Getting Dead By A Monster."

      See? Pure fun, with a bit of action, a lot of crazy uncle and grins galore.

      Now, "I shall run a load of laundry before we kick the bad guys' asses."

      Read. Relax. Enjoy. And don't go in with any expectations other than the fact that it is supposed to be fun and you will be very glad you did.
    • 5/5
      I've been meaning to review these 2 Maggie MacKay books since Xmas, because I enjoyed them so much. I found both of them to be pure fun. I bought #2 as soon as I finished #1, & I was not disappointed. The protagonist is intelligent & effective. Also funny. And heroic. There's lots of butt-kicking action & no boring descriptions. There is lots of bad language, but probably nothing you haven't heard before, so don't let that put you off!
    • 3/5
      I love a great paranormal book, and this one had some solid aspects, but it just wasn't the whole package.Maggie was very sarcastic, which I normally love, but after awhile it got a little tiresome and predictable. Instead or random sarcasm, it was continual which made the book seem longer than it was. There were a few times I had to stop and walk away from it because I wanted to see what happened but I needed a Maggie break.I liked the 2 different worlds and the travel, it had some intriging aspects and that is what kept me going even though I did not love Maggie.The book did not have romance, it was pretty much straight paranormal. Lots of curse words for those that are offended by that.Overall, I felt this was average, with occasional moments of great originality. It was those moments that kept me reading.With that said, I may again try this author in the future to find out if she develops Maggie in a better way. I think I paid 3.99 for this, and that did not bother me, I know have paid much more for much worse.If you love the genre give it a shot, but don't go in expecting it to knock your socks off.
    • 4/5
      Maggie, a supernatural bounty hunter, faces hordes of vampires as she struggles to to complete an assignment for the queen of the elves.The funny one-liners, the zany adventures, and the crazy characters of Maggie for Hire remind me of another UF series I enjoy: Kim Harrison's Rachel Morgan series. Maggie for Hire is a fun, fast-paced read with a terrific, kick-butt heroine and a twisty plot. I enjoyed the book from beginning to end, and I definitely will continue with the series.A couple of things kept this from being a five-star book, however. One was the elf, Killian, who is Maggie's partner in adventure. Killian had zero personality. He was as one-dimensional as they get. Additionally, the guy was a wuss. Clearly, Danley did not want the elf upstaging her heroine, but the book would have been much stronger if Killian had been a real 'person' instead of a cardboard character. The other thing that bothered me was the rated-R language. There was simply no reason for it. The book itself is very clean, but the language changed that.Like I said, I really enjoyed this book, and I will be reading others in the series. But with a couple of tweaks, it could have been a five-star read.
    • 5/5
      Description: Maggie MacKay is a tracker; she has the ability to cross between dimensions and track down the monsters that want to start trouble in the human world. So when Killian, a messenger from the Elf Queen, shows up with a job - stopping a group of vampires from using humans as juice boxes - Maggie can't turn down the opportunity to kick some blood-sucking butt. Unfortunately, her family is more entwined with the inter-dimensional brawl than she realizes, and the only way to stop the madness is to find a couple magical objects and unleash a secret that could put everyone - and everything - in danger. With the help of Killian, her family, and a few otherworldly allies, can Maggie find the relics and stop the approaching apocalypse? Or will the world end with her neck on the chopping block?Review: After seeing the cover art and reading the blurb, how could someone not want to read this book?! I have always been a fan of the otherworldly, especially when it involves a no-holds-barred heroine who doesn't take any B.S. from anyone - or anything, and can dole out a mean arse-kicking. That's why I loved Maggie For Hire! Maggie is a great character; well-developed, strong-willed, and full of attitude. She reminds me of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but more sure of herself and less fragile. The plot is action-packed, full of gory detail, and overflowing with the "unladylike behavior" promised on the back cover. I had a lot of fun reading, and was surprised that it was over so fast. The chapters were a nice short length, and the dialogue was fun and feisty. I only wish that I would have taken my time so there would be more to read! I hope that there is a sequel because Kate Danley is one heck of a writer! Recommended to older teens and adults who want pulse-pounding paranormal action that will leave them craving more!Rating: On the Run (4.5/5)*** I received this book from the author in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.
    • 1/5
      This book was just bad. Badly written, badly cobbled together plot, poorly developed characters. It's a paranormal mystery told by magical tracker Maggie. Maggie is billed as a badass but really she reads like a less interesting Buffy who falls flat on the pithy dialogue. She is recruited by an elf to help stop the end of the world. I think she is supposed to be "the chosen one". The book is a series of events recounted in the blandest terms possible. It reads more like a diary entry of an unreliable narrator. The flow of the book feels forced and important details are forced into the plot and artlessly revealed. Instead of the characters following the clues, there is no real investigation the character bumbles along until someone offers information. There is not build up to the reveal or development. Characters feel flat. There were so many missed opportunities to play with the relationship between Maggie and all of the other characters but it all felt flat. The relationship between herself and the elf Killian could have been interesting and would have made a great romantic subplot, instead you cant tell if she likes him, hates him, is indifferent towards him. It's like they become a boring couple after two chapters and there is no development to the relationship. The way the author writes about characters of other cultural backgrounds is cringeworthy at best, but honestly offensive. It's like she compiled a list of stereotypes and tried to fit as many as possible into the character's description. Don't waste your time.
    • 4/5
      Maggie for Hire is a book I have had for some time and I know I have looked at the cover a hundred times or more but just the other day realized that there is another person on the cover besides Maggie! This is such a great book. Magic and portal but used in a way that is unique in some ways. There is a hot elf as a partner, that helps. No romance, just a partnership. Humor, action, lots of adventure, creatures, and vampires. This is really a refreshing fantasy. New ideas and fresh scripts for creatures. Happy endings are always a plus too!
    • 4/5
      This was a fun, fast paced read. Maggie was a great character, smart and funny, and I loved her partner Killian. The action takes place in Los Angeles, and the "other side", a parallel dimension that Maggie is able to move freely across. She is searching for an artifact with magical abilities, and fighting a large group of vampires that are also looking for the artifact. I felt that the two worlds interacted in a believable fashion, and it wasn't hard to follow what was going on. The characters were interesting, even the secondary ones. I am very interested to read more of Maggie's adventures.
    • 5/5
      So fun. Just like Patricia Briggs & illona andrews but funnier
    • 5/5
      Lots of laughs
    • 5/5
      Two worlds, one contain us and the other containing them — sort of. If all the magical people stayed on the other side, Maggie would have nothing to do but visit her mother and worry about her missing father. The thing is that creatures can travel between. The legal portals are regulated. Maggie can make the illegal type. Chasing down vampires and ghouls leads her to a partnership with a smoking hot elf and unpaid quest to save the worlds.I recommend this to anyone who likes a feisty female hero who doesn’t always get it right.
    • 3/5
      I loved this book, it was exactly what I needed; light hearted, fun and addictive. Maggie is tough, feisty and will do anything to protect her family, even consort with elves. She goes from one crisis to another evading bad guys with her trusty sidekick Killian.

      Despite loving the book I think the sexual tension between Killain and Maggie could of been developed more. Killian treated Maggie as if they were in a relationship (without the sex), even though Maggie was wary of him.

      The story is well written and the chapters are short but sweet, although the books is a good length. I enjoyed this book and the author's writing style so much I will be looking out for future releases and also bought The Woodcutter, the other book by this author.





      1 person found this helpful

    • 3/5
      Maggie MacKay is one of those rare individuals that have the ability to open a portal and travel between the different dimensions, or “worlds,” one of which is called Other Side, filled with all sorts of creepy non-humans; many of whom are causing problems on Earth Side. Someone wants to drop the wall between the worlds so that vampires have free reign in both worlds. And to do that they need a couple of artifacts. Maggie is in a race to find the artifacts and save the world. By her side is an elf named Killian, whose queen foresaw the issue and is tasked with aiding Maggie.The very first thing that grabs you is the sarcastic wit which reminded me of Maryjanice Davidson’s Betsy series, minus Betsy’s Attention Deficit Disorder. The sarcastic comments run rampant through the story, and I feared at one point that this aspect would hijack the story. But there is plenty of action and the story moves along at a quick pace.A couple of aspects, though, keep me from giving this story a higher rating. The first is the lack of world building. Plenty of time is spent on Other Side. We’re told that creepy monsters exist over there, but we don’t know much else. The other is that we really don’t know Maggie. We know what her abilities are, that she is smart in a fight, uses sarcasm and swear words constantly, but very little about what makes Maggie, well Maggie. Very little personal history is provided.But the humor and action definitely make this an enjoyable read.

    Book preview

    Maggie for Hire - Kate Danley

    Dedication

    To My Scooby Crew

    and

    Those Bloggers of the Golden Age

    The Maggie MacKay: Magical Tracker Series

    Book One: Maggie for Hire

    Book Two:  Maggie Get Your Gun

    Book Three:  Maggie on the Bounty

    Book Four:  M&K Tracking

    Book Five:  The M-Team

    Book Six:  Maggie Goes to Hollywood

    Book Seven:  Maggie Reloaded

    Book Eight:  Maggie Goes Medieval

    Book Nine:  Eine Kleine Nacht Maggie

    Book Ten:  Of Mice and MacKays

    Book Eleven:  Moons Over My Maggie

    Book Twelve:  Auntie Mags

    Book Thirteen:  Coming Soon!

    Maggie Holiday Short Story Specials

    The NutMacKer Sweet

    My Maggie Valentine

    Luck of the MacKays

    Red, White, and Maggie

    Lazy, Hazy Days of MacKays

    The Ghost and Ms. MacKay

    A Merry Maggie Messmas

    Know Spell Hotel

    Miss Spell's Hotel

    www.maggiemackaymagicaltracker.com

    Chapter 1

    I’M A TRACKER.  ACTUALLY, my business card reads Maggie MacKay - Magical Tracker.  I find the bad guys and bring them in.  And right now, I was getting the shit kicked out of me.  It’s a crummy job and, unfortunately, it’s mine.

    I appear to be a normal, thirty-something, Irish brunette.  You know.  With a penchant for bike leathers and, at this particular moment, wrestling vampires.

    God, they stink.  The whole undead process does not slow the rotting corpse action.

    I had a trace on this one since he crawled out of the sewer to sit in the church eaves, hell- bent on taking out a couple of nice old nuns.  I may not have all my priorities straight, but those ladies gave up getting laid to feed the hungry and care for the poor.  You don’t make gals like that lunch.

    I had chased this sucker down a blind alley, silver stake in my hand.  Unnecessarily fancy weaponry?  Yes.  You are correct.  To kill a vampire, you just need a stake, anything pointy will do, but I never know what I’ll be tracking next, so I try to go for multipurpose tools.  Plus, my sister got this one engraved for me at Things Remembered last Christmas, which, I think, gives it some added class.

    Come on, would you just die already? I grunted as he grappled with me, trying to get his fangs in my neck.  I’d learned a long time ago to wear neckguards.  Vampires will go for anywhere you’ve got a pulse, but it’s when they get you in the neck that you have to worry.

    You are the one who will die! he whispered, flipping me on my stomach and sitting on my back.

    Crap.  Not good.

    I have been waiting a long time to destroy you, Ms. MacKay.

    Now, I might not be the swiftest boat in the fleet, but A) This guy shouldn’t know my name and B) what’s with the whole long time to destroy me action?  I figured if I was potentially going to snuff it, I should at least ask.  Between elbow punches to his ribcage as I tried to wriggle away, I managed to grunt out.  How do you know me?

    I am afraid you are the one with the bounty upon her head.

    What does that even mean?

    I felt him fumbling with the locks on my guard.  I was not about to have any of this.  I grabbed him around the neck to roll him when I heard a THWACK and felt him stiffen, then fall off me.  He landed, his wide eyes frozen upon my face.

    I sat up.

    It appeared that you were in need of assistance.

    My knight in shining armor was tall, easily 6’4, maybe 6’5, and impossibly gorgeous. The kind of guy you feel like you needed to apologize to afterwards for kissing because your face was unworthy of those lips.  Lord almighty.  He was slender and chiseled, golden locks tumbling around his merry blue eyes.  Oh, and pointy ears, which explained the whole unearthly beauty.  He was an elf.  And evidently on my side.  For the moment.

    Naw, I had him, I said, standing up and brushing off my pants.  I so had NOT had him and a very terrified part of me didn’t want to admit how close I had been to being a blood bank bento box just a couple minutes ago.  But, you know, thanks for saving me some time. 

    I picked up the vampire’s arms and started dragging him down the alley.

    Permit me to assist you, fair lady.

    I rolled my eyes.  That’s the deal with elves.  Gorgeous.  Mind-blowingly good lays.  But you had to put up with the ridiculously archaic crap that came shooting out of their mouth.  Still, he was stronger than me and I have no pride when it comes to getting out of moving dead weight.

    Eh, sure, I dropped the vampire with a thunk.

    The elf picked the evil undead monster up like he was a two-pound kitten.  Mrrrow.

    So, um... my car is over there, I said, pointed to a beat up Honda Civic sitting by the curb.  Just throw him in the trunk and I can give you a lift wherever you need to go.

    Actually, fair lady, my business is with you.

    Riiiight.  Any hints? I asked.

    I have a proposition for future employment.

    Now, that’s more like it.  Business had been slow recently.  I operated in Los Angeles, the city of broken dreams and assorted crap.  There are millions of folks over here, each of them with huge imaginations and no outlet.  It tends to attract a certain crowd from the Other Side.  And when I say Other Side, I’m not talking about Brentwood.

    There is this whole alternate world that exists in the same place, just a separate plane of existence, as the world that most humans know.  There are some gifted folks, like my mom, that can see in between these planes and figure out how one world is going to screw with the other (because that’s what we do).  For every push on Earth, there is a pull on the Other Side.  Normally, the two worlds stay happily on their respective planes, but sometimes the veil is kinda thin.  It happens when things get out of whack, and let me tell you something, there is nothing balanced about Los Angeles.  It is life lived with the volume cranked to 11 and with that much energy being put out, it’s like a light to a moth - except these moths are seven-feet tall and will eat your face.

    That’s not to say the Other Side is filled with only monsters.  Hell, I live there.  There are some pretty good folks and sometimes they come over to Earth for a nice little staycation.  Central Casting has a field day when the circus comes to town.  All the movie monster extras you need, no prosthetics required!

    But, unfortunately, I don’t get to deal with those dudes.  I get to deal with the scum of the magical world.  Vampires, werewolves, trolls, you name it.  If it is gross and wants to kill somebody, that’s where I come in.  It’s my job to haul them back to the Other Side - undead or alive.

    I popped the trunk and stood appreciatively as the elf dumped the V-pire amidst my spare tire and crossbow.

    A job, huh?

    The elf nodded.

    What did you say your name was?

    Killian, at your command.

    He bowed deeply, giving me a good look at his muscular back.  I could think of a couple of commands but none of them were appropriate within 500 feet of a church.

    Right.  Hop in.  We’ll talk, I said as I slid behind the wheel, the car dinging at me insistently to buckle up my seatbelt.  So, what’s this job?

    And that’s when my car felt like it had been hit by a freight train.

    Hang on! Killian cried.

    Chapter 2

    WHAT THE FUCK! I SCREAMED as I grabbed the wheel.

    Killian reached over and covered me with his body as the windows exploded.

    The car rolled, air bags deployed, and we tumbled ass-over-teakettle, spare change and Kleenex boxes ricocheting around us.

    Note to self, clean out car prior to next magical attack.

    And then, just like that, it was done.  I looked over at Killian as we hung upside down from our seatbelts.

    This is what I am here to see you about, he said.

    I’m out.

    I unbuckled my seatbelt and fell to the roof that was now the floor of my car.  I climbed through where my driver’s side window should have been and stumbled to my feet.

    I’m out.  The answer is no.  Leave.  Now.

    Sirens wailed in the distance.  Killian unbuckled himself and did the fall-and-crawl.  You are the only one I can turn to.

    Listen, my car has been destroyed by an invisible something and the cops are right around the corner.  There is no way I can talk my way out of that vampire stuck in my trunk.

    Human police get a little cranky when they toss your car and find a corpse.

    Killian looked over at my smashed vehicle, silver blood oozing out the back, sirens coming closer.  I saw him breathe in and make a decision before turning to me.  How badly do you want me to fix it?

    Oh no.  No. No. No.

    You fucking elf.  Don’t you dare even pretend like you are about to bargain for a favor.

    I already saved your life, he said.

    You already did shit.  You almost got me killed!  I’m not binding myself to you!

    He opened his arms, palms up.  Just say the words and I can make this all go away.

    Shit shit shit shit shit.  Those elves don’t spend all those extra years in the Other Side learning how to play nice, I’ll tell you that much.  I gripped my hair in my hands, only too aware of the warm sticky blood gushing from my scalp. 

    People couldn’t know about me.  They couldn’t know about what I did.  If the folks on Earth got so much as a clue, I could have my license to travel between worlds pulled and be stuck spending the rest of my life in an asylum or pulling drinks at Starbucks.  SHIT.

    I could see the lights of the cop car now.  Killian tilted his head.  Trust me.

    Trust you.  TRUST YOU OFF A CLIFF.  Fine, motherfucker, you’ve got it!  I bind myself to you.  In return for this favor, I owe you one favor.  Fix this!

    Killian snapped his fingers and immediately a maelstrom of air was whipping around me.  I saw the car right itself, the dents fill out, the windows re-grow.  The pain of the cuts on my arms and my head healed without even the slightest hint of a scar.  As the wind died, it was like nothing had ever happened.

    The cop car slowed and the window rolled down.  The hunkiest officer a single girl ever laid eyes on leaned out.  I can’t believe I gave up a portion of my soul to an elf when I could have been frisked and handcuffed by this guy.  This was not my day.

    We heard that a woman was being attacked...

    Killian came over and draped his arms across my shoulders.  My lady and I have not borne witness to any disagreements.

    The officer gave Killian a long look before talking to his partner.  Keep driving.  Maybe they’re up ahead.

    Killian gave him a neighborly wave as they drove away.

    I looked up at him.  If I could get away with killing you, you would be dead right now.

    Killian smiled.  You should get in line.

    Chapter 3

    WE SHOULD DISCUSS YOUR debt, said Killian as he stared out at the lights on La Brea Blvd.

    We were back in the car, headed for the border.  Massive paranormal attack or not, I had the body of the dead undead in my trunk and I really wanted the storage space back.

    You’re right and you have no idea the joy that bubbleth over when I think upon our upcoming fireside chat, I said, opening up the console next to my seat.  But I gotta get this guy dropped off in order to pick up my finder’s fee.  Color me crazy, I’m not so good at multitasking when it comes to fighting for my life and covering my rent.

    I could get you there faster, Killian said with a wicked little glint in his eye.

    You greedy bastard, I owe you one mark already, I’m not going down that road for more.  Jesus, you elves are all the frickin’ same.

    Human favors are things of beauty.

    Yeah, yeah...

    You are a thing of beauty...

    Can it, elf, or I will crush your summer fruit into a nice dinner wine.

    He smiled.

    I fucking hate elves.

    Listen, I said, flipping a couple switches on the dashboard.  The border is coming up quick and I won’t be distracted by you or anyone else.  Got it?

    Killian settled back into his seat and made the universal sign for after you.  I gave him the universal sign for up yours, buddy.

    The car hit 45 mph on the winding back roads of Mulholland.  Ex-mobster mansions are tucked into the sandy hills, their winding driveways barely visible in between the scrub brush and cacti.  LA, evidently, ran out of money for guardrails and upkeep, though.  The road is filled with potholes and the shoulder drops off sharply to canyons below.  We sped past a scenic lookout where, on a clear day, you can see the Hollywood sign on one side and the ocean on the other.  On a bad day, all you can see is smog.

    But tonight, the air was clear and warm; the kind of night where you don’t know where your body ends and the world begins.  I pressed my foot to the floor and hit 70 on the hairpin turn.  We drove off the edge of the cliff and soared out into the open sky.

    Chapter 4

    THE CAR HIT THE GROUND with a thud.

    Crap.  Traffic.

    It was bumper-to-bumper in the Other Side.

    The Other Side is pretty much every old book you’ve ever read come to life, settled in nice and cozy to the conveniences of modern living.  If you can imagine it, it probably exists over here.  The neighborhood we landed in had a particularly Victorian flair - cobblestone streets and Dickens-esque shops, bustle wearing bonneted ladies walking alongside the monsters of your nightmares.

    We crept along to the backside of the police station.  A blue woman, and not in the emotional kind of way, an actual blue woman, came out and I popped my trunk.  She was flanked by two zombie porters.

    Nice one, Maggie.  Next time, try not to kill ‘em, okay?

    Lacy, he’s a vampire.  He was already dead.  I just finished the job.

    She shook her head at me and then noticed Killian in my passenger seat.  Well, well, well..., she purred.  Who’s the six-pack-of-awesome-going-on-under-the-silken-tunic sitting there in your car?

    I think I sprained my eyeballs rolling them so hard.  He’s a fucking elf.  And he wants me to do a job for him.

    Lacy clucked her tongue.  You could do worse.

    No, I said, slamming the trunk closed after the zombies lifted the vampire skip out.  No, I don’t think I could.

    Listen, honey...  Lacy interrupted herself to shout at the zombie porter.  Cut it out!  He’s a vampire!  He doesn’t have a brain!

    The porter removed his mouth from the vampire’s temple and continued to carry the carcass into the station.

    Lacy shook

    Enjoying the preview?
    Page 1 of 1