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    Crap Dates: Disastrous Encounters from Single Life
    Crap Dates: Disastrous Encounters from Single Life
    Crap Dates: Disastrous Encounters from Single Life
    Ebook140 pages39 minutes

    Crap Dates: Disastrous Encounters from Single Life

    By Rhodri Marsden

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    About this ebook

    A good date can be exhilarating: a shared joke, an improbable spark, long moments of gazing fondly into each other's eyes. Not so for the dating disasters featured in this collection of laugh-out-loud actual tweets about the most terrible evenings imaginable. From seriously unwelcome confessions, to dousing dates in wine, to bringing them back to creepy apartments to meet favorite stuffed animals, here are the funniest and most alarming reports from dating's front lines. Along the way, author Rhodri Marsden offers tips on how to identify and avoid the worst of the bad daters, including married men, blatant liars, deluded optimists, and more. This harrowing collection of real nightmare dates will amuse anyone who's suffered through one of cupid's off nights.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherChronicle Books Digital
    Release dateSep 10, 2013
    ISBN9781452132051
    Crap Dates: Disastrous Encounters from Single Life

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    Reviews for Crap Dates

    3/5

    19 ratings3 reviews

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    • 4/5
      Absolutely worth it. A fine and welcome light hearted giggle.
    • 1/5
      I wasn't expecting to read a number of tweets randomly put together. They do not even follow each chapter... stopped reading it after 20 minutes.
    • 4/5
      Oddly hilarious and horribly depressing at the same time. Surely the human race is doomed in the face of such rampant, epic ineptitude as is demonstrated by these tales.

    Book preview

    Crap Dates - Rhodri Marsden

    When it goes well, a date can be exhilarating.

    An improbable spark suddenly fires, both of you realize that you have a connection above and beyond your favorite brand of dishwasher tablet, and invisible hearts start popping in the air around you.

    But it’s not always like that. In fact, if we’re going to be honest, it’s hardly ever like that. And the more dates we go on (via newspaper ads, Internet sites, speed dating, and inappropriate blind dates set up by friends predisposed to cruelty) the higher the failure rate. That’s not me being cynical, I promise—it’s just statistics.

    Yes, in theory, a period of relentless dating might improve your chances of meeting someone wonderful, but it mainly establishes a long line of people for you to spend disappointing evenings with while you wait for the right person to come along.

    There’s a positive outcome to emerge from the crammed diary of the hopeful singleton, however, and that’s the extraordinary stockpile of anecdotes detailing all the times it went badly wrong. Whether you disliked the other person, they disliked you, or you found some kind of grim solidarity in your mutual loathing, that unique and acute social discomfort becomes seared into your memory. The stories become dinner party staples as your grim experiences, mellowed by time, transform into comedy gold.

    As I walked down the A24 in Clapham one Tuesday evening last year, I passed a bar that brought one dating memory of my own flooding back. It was from 2002—the very early days of Internet dating, a thrilling new social experiment as yet untainted by despondent cynicism. This girl and I quickly realized that we had nothing in common, save for speaking English and being a bit lonely. We were doomed to spend a long, excruciating evening together, and the silences became yawning chasms. She was from Wigan, a town in Greater Manchester, and I actually heard myself saying, in a moment of barrel-scraping desperation: So, what’s Wigan like, then?

    I’d gotten into the habit of posting idle thoughts on Twitter rather than keeping them to myself, and that’s what I did that Tuesday evening: the story of my bad date, cut back to 140 characters. A couple of people sent theirs back, and I reposted them. Soon, the combined wit of the Twitter community generated a glorious stream of tweets, a cathartic explosion of storytelling. Stripped of extraneous detail, they became brilliantly funny one-liners, haiku-like in their beauty. This collection of stories went viral; by the end of that week

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