Outside the Addiction: A Mother's Story

Smashwords Edition

Outside the Addiction: A Mother’s Story

Sandra Shrewsbury

Copyright © Sandra Shrewsbury

All Rights Reserved. This book may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your support and respect is appreciated. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

The following story contains strong and explicit situations. The following story is intended for adult audiences only. Parental discretion is advised.

Outside The Addiction – A Mothers Story - by Sandra Shrewsbury

When you look into your child’s eyes and see the perfection that you have instilled, it is the most amazing feeling a parent can have. You push them to be the best they can be, and all you can do is hope as they grow into adulthood. All your hard work pays off; usually. Sometimes you get faced with the horrifying fact they`ve made a wrong decision and is starting to go down the wrong path; and all you can do is watch.

This is my story. What we see, but they cannot is something that can destroy your family. It all started when my daughter, Tina was 17 years old. As she was growing up, she was very outgoing; she had many friends and a lot of people that loved her. But, she was hiding the truth behind the person that she pretended to be; the kind of person that everyone wanted her to be. What was hiding in the shadows was the dark side of an addiction.

Chapter One:

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping, just like any other day. I went to wake Tina up to get ready for school. To my surprise, she was not in her room. I did not think much of it, because she would sometimes sit outside. So, I went to the kitchen to start breakfast. As I was flipping the eggs, I heard a loud noise from the basement. Nervously, I went to check it out, and to my surprise I saw my daughter lying on the floor, passed out. I yelled in fear, not understanding what had happened.

Then, she woke up. Tina, what are you doing? I said.

Whatever the hell I want to, so leave me alone, she replied. I knew right away, from how she sounded, that she wasn't herself, so I asked her if she had drank or taken anything. She replied, angrily, I haven`t taken anything. I`m just tired. I asked her if she had gotten any sleep last night. She said, Duh! No, I didn’t get any sleep. That’s why I’m tired. Are you that stupid?

Why are you talking to me like this? I don’t like it at all. You’re grounded for a week.

She looked at me like she could kill me and stomped up the stairs. I followed her to the kitchen. She sat down on one of the stools and looked at me.

I am not going to school today, she said.

I told her, Oh yes you are, Young Lady.

She said, You and what army is going to make me?

After that childish retort, she walked off to her room. My child had never spoken to me like that; I had to find out what was going on. This was not the child that I had raised, and I wanted to get to the bottom of this. I needed my sweet daughter back. I didn’t say much to her for the rest of the day. Instead, I went on to work and told her to stay in her room until I returned. We would talk then. She agreed with me… this time.

***

When I returned home that evening, she was nowhere around, and I had no idea where she had gone. I got on the phone and called whoever I could think of, but no one had seen her. My heart fell to my stomach; not knowing where my daughter was. I called one of my friends, Jackie McKinney, and asked her to come over so we could talk. She told me she would be over as soon as she could.

I made a pot of coffee for us, while I waited on her to get there. About an hour later, I heard a knock at the door. I went to let her in, but, to my surprise, it was not Jackie. It was a police officer. He told me his name was Officer Ryan Jones.

Do you have a daughter named Tina?

Yes sir, I do. Is she okay?

The officer told me she was caught breaking into the gas station down the road. He said she didn’t have anything on her so he was letting her go this time, but the next time he caught her out near the station she would go to jail. I thanked the officer, and he let Tina out of the police car. I told her to go into the kitchen and I would deal with her in a minute. She went in there with no remarks. The officer told me he thought she might be high and I needed to do a drug test on her. I told him I would buy one tomorrow and test her. He nodded his head and bid me goodnight.

I closed the door and just stood at the door, shocked. It was like I couldn’t move. What did I do wrong for her to do this? I thought to myself. I stood there, thinking for about ten minutes, when there was another knock on the door. It scared me, and I jumped. I slowly opened the door- scared of what I might find. It was Jackie this time.

She said, What’s wrong, Susan? You look like you have seen a ghost.

It’s Tina. An officer brought her home. She was caught breaking into the gas station.

What?

I have to go talk to her, and find out why she did this.

We walked into the kitchen to talk to Tina. She was sitting on one of the bar stools. I looked into my daughter’s eyes, and all I could see was darkness. This was not my daughter, and I didn’t know who she had become. I swallowed hard to stop the tears. I asked her why she was at the gas station.

All she could say was, I was waiting on a friend and I got cold, so I found a way in to get warm.

I asked her if she was high on something and she looked at me like she could kill me. No, Mom, I am not high. I’m tired and cold, okay?

Well, if you’re not high then you won’t care if I buy a drug test and test you tomorrow.

She stormed out of the room, yelling. You never believe me! I hate you!

Jackie was going to go after her and I grabbed her arm to stop her. Let her cool down, and I will buy the test tomorrow and see if she is taking something, I said.

Jackie hugged me. I am so sorry you have to go through this, but I will be here for you through it all, okay?

I thanked her and hugged her back. I will stop by tomorrow to see how things are, okay?

Chapter Two:

The next morning I got up earlier than normal, because I wanted to go get the test before Tina had a chance to get up and leave. I rode down the street to the store, and got a drug test; I never in my life thought I would have to be doing this.

I was so worried I wouldn’t get back in time, so I drove a little faster than I normally do. When I got to the house, she was still asleep, so I made some coffee and sat on the couch to think until she got up. How am I going to do this? I thought to myself. I wish I didn’t have to do this. I started to cry. It hurt so bad to know that my daughter was doing this to herself.

I heard a noise coming down the stairs; she was awake. I sat there for a while, waiting to see where she was going. She went to the kitchen, so I followed her.

I said, Good morning, Tina, how are you feeling?

I am not high, Mom.

Tina, I didn’t say you were high. I asked you how you felt.

I feel fine, Mom. God, stop asking me dumb questions!

I sighed in frustration. Look, let’s get this over with. If you are clean, just take the test. It will be done, and I will never bring it up again, okay?

God, Mom, can’t you just trust me on this?

Tina, I want to trust you, but you have not been acting like yourself lately.

I have, Mom, and no, I am not taking that damn test.

Tina, you will take the test, or you will be grounded to this house until you do.

She looked at me and walked toward me, her face close to mine. I felt scared of my own child.

You will not make me take that test, and if you try I will beat the hell out of you, Bitch. I froze. I didn’t know what to say. I was in shock. She looked at me and said, You do understand what I am saying, right?

All I could do was look at her. She walked away and went to her room, as I started to cry. I felt so much sadness. What was I going to do?

I pulled myself together and called Jackie. Jackie, please come over. I need someone to talk to. She said she would be over in a few minutes.

I sat at the window, watching for her to get there. The birds were flying around and the sun was shining; it was like nothing was wrong. It was a perfect day outside, but inside it was darkness, cold, and sadness.

***

It was like I was in a trance when Jackie knocked on the door. I jumped at the sound. I went to answer the door, and met Jackie at the doorstep.