One Day Four Nights

23

Chapter 1

April 23rd, 2014

The day has finally arrived, or as we local folks commonly say - the big day has arrived. A majority of people’s destinies have reshaped or remolded because of this big day phenomena. But somehow, I don’t perceive the point - why do we all accentuate so much on the irrelevant things for this ‘big day’ stuff:

1. Your family will convey the news to all your relatives, to your neighborhood aunties and to any other person they may be acquainted with.

2. You yourself will convey it to all your office mates, majority of who you may not like in the first place, or you may even announce a team lunch for them.

3. Your WhatsApp’s status will too get a new life ‘Finally I made it. Hard work never goes unrewarded.’ The old ones ‘Lost in the desert’, ‘Life is like chess. I don’t know how to play chess’ will be dumped for some time unless they are rescued again.

In a way or other, you and your family tries to impress people who may have not contributed even a penny to help you reach the summit; in fact they would have silently prayed that you never reach any.

P.S: ‘you’ in the above lines includes me as well.

And for the grooming part: clean shirt, polished shoes, brand new watch, no saturday beard - all the ingredients of the recipe just have to be perfect and that too mixed in the right proportion. And as we Indians have this distinctly old habit, these days are reserved for our imported perfumes, which our NRI siblings, cousins or some dad’s friend employed with the customs brought for us. So three big days in a month roughly means three rounds for these perfumes, methodically this figure more or less resembles the average sex score an Indian couple in their mid-30’s makes in a year’s time.

Why can’t we treat this day as just another ordinary day, and rather focus on relishing the happiness, the satisfaction and the sense of achievement this day brings along with it. Or perhaps how wonderful life would be if we could treat every day as a big day, if we could begin every morning with the similar elation as we feel for such big days, making every moment a Kodak moment!

Anyways getting back to business, I can finally share the news that I have been keeping… today is a Tuesday – 23rd April 2014, time 11:54 pm. The world eagerly awaits for the next day as tomorrow India’s all-time favorite son ‘Sachin Tendulkar’ will celebrate his first B’day post-retirement, and on this very day three writers hailing from different states of India and different cultural backgrounds will address a conference ‘New Age Authors’ at Hotel Lampoon. The conference has been called to acknowledge the three authors for their latest works, which have been huge success. Lucky for me, I, Suraj Rawat, am one of them. I am not good at guessing the size of the crowds, but I’d say there are going to be at least 200 of them out there in the conference.

As all of you must have got a bit curious after reading the initial few phrases as to what this actual big day stuff is all about, and I am sure more than 99% of you would have got perplexed or rather got disappointed on being familiarized with the real. Clearly this is nothing of the sorts of an Indian winning an Academy award in the best foreign film category or a British winning the Wimbledon trophy in front of 15,000 spectators on the main center court, or at the least some Nigerian girl winning a jackpot at a casino in Kathmandu.

But still this day values a lot to me. I would often wonder what it takes to write a national bestseller and what kind of people write it!

The clock ticks 00:00 am. I am lying out here on the bed in my rented apartment in Gurgaon, wondering about how life has taken a merry go round in the last sixteen months. It is not often that a grown man gets the opportunity to re-experience the excitement of an amped-up child on Christmas Eve! I don’t know if I will be able to sleep tonight.

Around a year back approximately, mid-May that was - my boss rated me under performing in my annual evaluation for the blood and sweat that I had given to my company over a years’ time. To make it worse, he denied me the Belgium relocation opportunity that I was eying for so long. And the silly reason being that I am too good for my department and the management is not willing to release me at this point of year, as currently a lot of projects are piled up in the queue.

But this wasn’t the actual truth, this was just a cooked up typical corporate lingual. If I rephrase it again in the actual wordings of my boss: Suraj, please try to understand the current situation of the organization. You are the most critical resource we have in our team. And, honestly I am surprised that you are thinking of leaving. In fact we all presumed that you are pretty much satisfied with the assignments and the work environment here. You always seem to be a happy going, upbeat, and energetic guy to me. Moreover the higher management has planned a lot more exciting assignments for you in the coming months, and so I am sure you will learn a lot from them.

My lone effort to bounce back But Rashid, if the higher management considers me so highly then why I am being rated underperforming? too went in vain as he defended it smartly with a second masterpiece.

Suraj, criticality and rating are two different aspects. Criticality refers to your technical competency and job knowledge. I do acknowledge that you are quite good at doing your day to day project activities and even the senior management rates you as one of the best technically competent guys in our team. But, when it comes to annual rating, it not only evaluates your individual skills but also your role as a team player. The truth is that even though our company’s core base is pure technical, we are looking to build leaders for tomorrow who do share the same envision and values as the company’s for the future. To face it, we need guys who can bring new business ideas on the board, guys who can lead the juniors by sharing their knowledge and experience. And the management doesn’t see you in bright terms in that regards. You should try to work on these goals too along with the other project activities.

Even though I may sound a bit arrogant here but I agree with one part of his story; the first part: ‘I am too good’ was apparently true, not that I was one of those technical geek lads who can write 1000 lines of code in lesser time than it takes to deliver a pizza by the known pizza chains, rather I was way too better than the other guys of my office. I may have ignored some of the exceptional folks here but as they say ignorance is bliss and it fits in well here!!

But the second part was undoubtedly a sheer lie. The bitter truth was - I was denied the relocation opportunity because one of my junior team mates, who I firmly consider technically challenged for the daily routine job in India, was served this very Belgium relocation on his dinner table primarily because his name was Khan - Shahidul Khan. And for all of you guys, who think how does the name matter at all, I would like to justify by saying that it did matter in my case as my manager’s name was Rashid Rehman.

Well if I am being completely honest here - I don’t have anything against Muslims or any other caste or any other religion even. I am myself a big fan of many greats from Muslim originality such as Dr. Abdul Kalam, Farhan Akhtar, Wasim Akram, A.R. Rehman, Aamir Khan, etc. Coincidentally, the last two greats have the same second names as the two guys in the picture!

I firmly believe that we all are individuals, brothers, children of one god. My feelings are neutral towards Shahidul Khan; as it is just a name, and it could have been anybody’s name. The guy could have been a Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Parsi, Sikh or belong to whatever religion that may exist on our mother earth. I am not even jealous or envy of him. And if I am being completely honest here, in a way or other, I am not even happy for him. How can I be? I am still a normal middle class man, not a monk who has shed all the worldly desires. The human tendency of comparing with others doesn’t fade away easily with time, and especially when the other has robbed you of your jackpot ticket.

But, I do have one serious and valid point of consideration here, it is just because of guys like Rashid Rehman that differences emerge amongst people of different religions and communities. I honestly believe that such guys need to grow up, get their brains checked out. What if tomorrow I slit his throat or break his leg, will this due my revenge? No, I won’t be doing all this, I think I am educated enough to ignore such people and move on with my life. For sure, as Gandhiji said an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind! Often I wish how good Indian corporate life would be if every manager starts working according to Gandhiji’s principle of treating all Indians as one.

I still remember the long one hour heated session I had with Rashid; all the typical management fundas and gyans he spilled all over me, and every second during the conversation I so badly wished that I could imitate the employee from Naukri.com ‘Hari Sadu’ advertisement. R for Rascal, A for Arrogant, S for Stupid, H for Hitler, I for Idiot, D for dictator would have worked as the perfect substitute for the original script here!

In fact I have always related my boss to nothing less than a Nazi dictator; my team simply works on his rules, nowhere in this world we are members of some democratic club. Over the years in my job, I have learnt that management can be categorized into two forms. In one of its form, you can just enforce your junior to work according to your rules and thereby get your work completed your way. In the other form, you will earn so much respect for yourself that the junior employee would willingly work extra hours for you to finish the job. No extra brownies for identifying the group to which Rashid belongs; without any doubt he belongs to the former one. Every time I see him in the office, walking with his head held high, giving a look to other employees as if we are some god forbidden, talent less losers who are bound to serve him for his entire life. This jerk speaks loudly, rudely, one-sidedly to most of us except for his brownnosers, tattletales!

But off-lately, things seem to have started changing in bits and pieces for one of his so called slave. My second book, ‘local road’ just crossed a mark of 200,000 last week and my publishing firm, my family, my friends: all of them are pretty elated about it. Every day my Email inbox, my Facebook account are full of accolades from my well-wishers and readers. It almost feels that you are in a different world altogether, especially when you have been alien to it for more than two decades…

And the best part is – that now even unknown people follow you on twitter. Every time I see this message on my Twitter account - this so… so... girl is now following you, or I see a new like on my Facebook account page - the very first thing I check instantly is the girl’s album, and in case she is one of those hot stuff good-looking types, for a moment it gives me a godly feeling - it takes me into a fantasy world, it invariably makes me feel as if I am the next cowboy from kid rock song ‘I am a Cowboy baby’, even though after a lapse of few seconds I quickly realize that the fantasy world is nothing but an online world, the world of servers and wires. Oh boy! I so loved the cowboy song during my college days, the only exception was: this time my full praise was reserved not for the music but for the video. And I don’t remember how many times I actually wasted my sperm while watching the same video again and again. And for all you male folks don’t go and check the Youtube version, they simply remove the cherry part from all the videos. Torrent is the avenger for all of us!!

It was in the darkness of 31st December 2012 night when this extraordinary voyage started. Eight days before it, Michael Jordan’s day, Shefali, my girlfriend since three years, called me up during mid-night to share a news.

Chapter 2

December 23rd, 2012

Hey, hi.., I said, yawning.

I told you, I told you na! she said, crying.

Shifu, what happened? Why are you crying? Did something go wrong in the wedding? I asked a flurry of questions.

For all you readers, just to add to your knowledge, Shifu is the name I usually use to refer her. Even though the list of names is a whopping big one: shifu, shona, honey, sweetu, senorita. But Shifu is the one - I prefer the most.

I told you this is going to happen! She screamed.

Shifu, what is going to happen, at least tell me. You were all okay when we had a call in the evening, I asked, puzzled.

My family has searched a guy for me. That guy and his family too were there at the wedding! She said, crying.

What? How could they? So did you meet him? Who is he? I asked another set of questions, shocked, stunned.

Yeah… I met him. Papa introduced me to his family at the wedding. The guy is a doctor in US and is in India these days to finalize his bride.

So, why are you crying Shifu? There is no big fuss about this. You can simply tell Uncle that you still need some more time for marriage, I tried convincing her.

I have already told Papa, but he and even Mumma are not ready to listen anything about this. They were in my room for past one hour; Pavan Chachu (Father’s brother) was also here. Actually Pavan Chachu is really close to his family, and he has only good words for them. Papa only had insisted Pavan Chachu to invite the boy’s family to the wedding. This planning has been going around since last month, but I never got a hint of any.

I was listening to her quietly. Inwardly my heart was praying God this is just a dream – that I am still sleeping, and soon I will be woken by her call and she will whisper in her sweetest tone ‘hi honey bunch, the wedding was so boring, I missed you so much all the time.’

In the beginning, I tried convincing my family that I still need some more time for marriage, but they are firm that they’ll make me get married by next year or at least finalize one, she explained.

Then did you tell them about me? Perhaps you can also tell them that you didn’t find this doctor guy interesting, I asked in return.

Yeah I did… She paused.

So, what was their reply? I asked.

I told them that I didn’t find this guy interesting enough, but it served no purpose. This guy has all the qualities my family could desire for. He is the only child of his parents. He also owns a five bedroom mansion in Boston, his annual salary is more than $120k, and his family owns a lot of property here in Delhi-NCR. My family simply wants me to marry him; they think that he will be the best match for me.

She paused for breath and added I think it won’t be possible to convince them this time. They are pretty firm. Last time, the guy was from a politics family, so they agreed to it somehow, but this time it looks seemingly impossible.

Did you tell them about me? Maybe then they would understand the actual situation and agree for us!

Leave that Suraj! she shouted.

Why? You told them about me! Didn’t you? What did they say? I asked; my mind in a state of constant apprehension.

They think that I will be the biggest idiot if I marry a guy like you, they don’t approve of you at all. In case you would have managed an MBA degree, then possibly I could have convinced them, but now I don’t think they will accept you for me.

Shifu, but I can easily get an MBA degree in near future, may be after marriage. There are so many guys I know; all of them have pursued MBA after settling down.

Suraj, please stop your crap now. Don’t fool me around again. I had already warned you that this will certainly happen in near future, but no, you never listen to me. I have been after you for so many years that prepare seriously for the CAT exam, get an MBA degree from a top ranked Business School, but you were always confined to your fantasy world, you assumed things are too simple. I had told you before also that my family won’t agree unless you achieve something big for us. But you always took me for granted; instead wondered why would my family object to our relationship? Why bother about who Suraj is? What does he do? What is his family background? You were least bothered about everything and considered me a big fool for compelling you to go for higher studies.

Shifu, don’t worry! Nothing is going to happen; you are just over reacting to it, we will surely find a way out! I tried to calm her down.

Over reacting, my foot! Are you nuts Suraj? You are still taking it so lightly. Now I think this relationship was just a joke for you – Or Perhaps I expected too much from you, Suraj will do this, Suraj will do that, but I think it was my fault that I loved you so much. You have always lived for yourself. I think Mr. Suraj you need to realize the depth of the situation. I feel that it will be better if we part ways now. And after seeing my family’s reaction today I don’t see we can have a future together, she shouted.

What are you saying? What is all this?

Suraj, please... I think whatever I am saying is right for both of us. And I am sure this won’t affect you either as I can very well sense now that I was just a time-pass for you. You never loved me the way I did. If you had truly loved me then you would have certainly done something for us, she outcries.

Shifu… I sighed.

My name is Shefali. Please don’t call me Shifu again; your Shifu is dead now.

What is all this? Are you out of your mind?

Suraj, I don’t think I will be able to meet you again!

Shifu, listen to me…

The phone was disconnected by the time I spoke the final sentence.

I tried calling her again, but she had switched it off. I dialed her number several times and also sent her text messages but got failed delivery reports and her phone was still off.

I lay down and tried to understand what had just happened. For some moments, I wondered if I had dreamt her call. I was still in a shock. ‘We will never meet again…’ These words were striking me like a bullet over and over again. The mere thought of losing her had dispelled every bit of sadness in me. It felt as if bricks were lying on my chest and it was getting hard to breathe. I was so scared that she is going to break up with me. All these years - I didn’t realize how good she was, and because I was so stupid; I always took whatever came easily for granted and longed for what was seemingly impossible. I felt like I just screwed up everything.

I don’t remember what time I actually dozed off that night.

Next day morning, her phone was still switched off. I decided to follow my normal routine - go to office, work, come back, and sleep. Fortunately, it was a busy day for me in office. The extra work helped me to stay calm and remain distracted from the previous night news. By 7:30 in the evening I was back in my flat.

Later in the night, I again dialed her number hoping she would have switched it on by now, but to my shock she hadn’t. For once I thought that she was indeed over reacting to the situation; she was just taking it too hard. My poor Shifu! I wonder where she’d be now. She has a return ticket for Delhi on 25th evening. I am sure when she meets me again I will settle down all these problems. We both will surely find some way out, which is what happens in all Hindi movies. In the end, the lover boy always gets the girl. After all, she is my Senorita and I, his Raj, who is ready to fight out any sort of epic battle with her strict old Dad ‘Mr. Baldev Singh’. I can’t believe I am going to live a movie story now. When God is giving me a chance to live a movie, why should I despair?

But why she has kept her phone switched off for so long; it has been more than twenty hours. I need to talk to her. What if she has agreed to her family’s decision, what if her family has planned a roka (the very first pre-wedding ceremony performed in north-Indian marriages) for her this coming weekend - these defence families are so unpredictable, especially these nerdy retired defence Army Officers. They believe that life goes as per their Army rules. That moron father of Shefali can easily enforce her to obey his decision. Why he doesn’t realize that he cannot always make the best choice for his daughter. This is about the rest of Shefali’s life, ours’ life.

I need to talk to her.

For a second I thought - I should go and meet her in Dehradun, in a way similar to what Raj did for Senorita. But then I re-considered - I shall better drop a message to her on Gmail, there is a good chance that she will have an internet broadband connection back at her cousin’s house or perhaps when she switches on her phone there is a very high probability of 77.6% that she will check her Gmail inbox once in a while. (A survey results of a website claims that 77.6% of the guys who have GPRS connection on mobile phone checks Gmail inbox once in a day). 77.6 is not a bad number either. I could have scribbled it down on mobile phone as a SMS, but it needs to be a long one: a long one does make a big impact. After all, size does matter!

So I started composing a message. It took me around an hour or so to complete it.

To : shefali.makhija@gmail.com

From : rowdy.suraj@gmail.com

Subject : Hi !

Hey Shifu,

I hope all is well at your end Shifu. Why aren’t you picking my call honey? Don’t do this to me and yourself. You know how much we both love each other. Each one of us is incomplete alone!

I can understand what you have been going through. Uncle and aunty are after you, and why shouldn’t they, all parents in this world want the best for their children. And for a lovely girl like you, they will not settle for less.

I agree with them that I and my family stand nowhere in front of the doctor guy and his family. But nobody can love you the way I do. I am still young, and I can achieve a lot more in future. I will do anything to get you back. I will do anything to see you as the first most things each morning.

See, I have thought about a couple of options. I can go to US for Masters. I will manage a loan for the funding part. Or else, I can enroll for the executive MBA program in India. In either of the cases, I am sure uncle will agree for us.

You have always trusted me in the past. We have spent the most wonderful times together. Just trust me one last time; I will give you the best life you can dream of. My life has no meaning if you are not a part of it. Don’t leave me alone this way, we had made so many promises with each other, we had so many plans. Give me a chance to fulfill them. I won’t break your heart this time...

I know I have been a jerk. I just want a second chance.

Do call me when you see this.

Yours only

Suri

Chapter 3

December 25th, 2012

I kept on checking my mail inbox every minute or so. But every time, the outcome was the same: no new message from Shefali Makhija. I was just hoping, praying would be a more appropriate word here to describe my state of mind - that she did read my mail.

Around 9 in the night, I decided to go out for dinner. While I was walking down the street and as I was passing by a busy restaurant I looked through the window and saw so many couples at quiet, intimate tables sharing smiles and conversations over candle light. I remember I and Shefali had been to this place long ago. Standing alone there, watching other couples intermingle wasn’t helping either anyways, and suddenly I couldn’t take it any longer. My mind got flooded with thoughts Will I be able to forget her ever? or What if one day I happen to visit a similar place and Shefali is sitting out there holding some other guy’s hands. I couldn’t ask my mind to stop.

Before I