This Is What Happens Next
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About this ebook
Daniel MacIvor
Daniel MacIvor is one of Canada’s most accomplished playwrights and performers. Winner of the prestigious Elinore and Lou Siminovitch Prize, the GLAAD Award, the Governor General’s Literary Award, and many others, Daniel’s plays have been met with acclaim throughout North America.
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This Is What Happens Next - Daniel MacIvor
Also by Daniel MacIvor:
One Voice: House and Here Lies Henry
Never Swim Alone & This Is A Play
See Bob Run & Wild Abandon
I Still Love You: Five Plays
The Soldier Dreams
The Best Brothers
Arigato, Tokyo
Marion Bridge
His Greatness
How It Works
You Are Here
Cul-de-sac
Monster
In On It
Bingo!
Contents
Also By
Copyright
Dedication
Production History
Characters
This Is What Happens Next
Acknowledgements
About the Author
2749.jpgThis Is What Happens Next © Copyright 2014 by Daniel MacIvor
Playwrights Canada Press 2931.png
202-269 Richmond Street West, Toronto, ON, Canada M5V 1X1
phone 416.703.0013 • info@playwrightscanada.com • www.playwrightscanada.com
No part of this book may be reproduced, downloaded, or used in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, except for excerpts in a review or by a licence from Access Copyright, www.accesscopyright.ca.
For professional or amateur production rights, please contact The Gary Goddard Agency
149 Church Street, 2nd Floor, Toronto, ON M5B 1Y4
416-928-0299 • meaghan@garygoddardagency.com
Cover and book design by Blake Sproule
Cover and author photos © Guntar Kravis
The Alegreya serif typeface used was designed by Juan Pablo del Peral. The Viga typeface was designed by Fontstage. The typefaces are used under the SIL Open font license version 1.1
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
MacIvor, Daniel, 1962-, author
This Is What Happens Next [electronic resource] / Daniel MacIvor.
A play.
Electronic monograph in multiple formats.
Issued also in print format.
ISBN 978-1-77091-201-4 (pdf).--ISBN 978-1-77091-202-1 (epub)
I. Title
PS8575.I86T45 2014 C812’.54 C2013-908485-1
cipWe acknowledge the financial support of the Canada Council for the Arts, the Ontario Arts Council (OAC)—an agency of the Government of Ontario, which last year funded 1,681 individual artists and 1,125 organizations in 216 communities across Ontario for a total of $52.8 million—the Ontario Media Development Corporation, and the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund for our publishing activities.
For Bill W. and his friends
This Is What Happens Next was first produced by Necessary Angel Theatre Company and the Canadian Stage Company in April 2010 at the Berkeley Street Theatre. It featured the following cast and creative team:
Performed by Daniel MacIvor
Directed and dramaturged by Daniel Brooks
Lighting design by Kimberly Purtell
Sound design by Richard Feren
Characters
Me
Will
Warren
Susan
Aaron
Mike
Kevin
On stage left is a chair, a pair of shoes beside the chair, a coat stand with a suit jacket hanging on it. On stage right a small table with a shelf below where a glass and a vodka bottle sit. These furniture pieces are placed near the edges of the playing space.
ME enters the theatre through the audience wearing street clothes (a pink shirt). He carries a book and a venti Starbucks coffee. He makes his way toward the stage. The house lights remain up.
ME
I’m sorry I’m late, I’m sorry I’m late, I’m sorry I’m late, I’m sorry I’m late, I’m sorry I’m late. That’s the first thing I say when I enter any room. I’m always late. Chronically late. Terminally late. And I’m really trying not to be late these days. I’m really trying not to be late because when I’m late I get annoyed and when I’m annoyed I get resentful and… well I don’t even want to think about where resentment gets me. Resentment is fatal. But here I am late. But it wasn’t my fault. That must be the slowest Starbucks in the city. In the country. And I’ve been around. Twenty minutes for a decaf grande soy latte? And this is not even a grande, it’s a venti—and we won’t even bother getting in to how that happened. Regardless I’m late. But it’s not my fault. It was these two women. I’m walking to the door of the Starbucks and there are these two women behind me chatting away and I think, I’ll be the nice guy,
and I hold the door for them. And this is also a little annoying. I don’t need a thank you but a head nod might be nice. An acknowledgement of my existence. How hard is a head nod? How hard is that. I should probably be on the stage. I’ll go on the stage now.
ME steps onto the stage. During the following he changes from his street shoes to the shoes that have been sitting near the chair. At one point he considers putting on the suit jacket but forgoes it, thinking it’s too formal. As he continues the house lights fade.
So I know the deal. I let them in ahead of me and that means that they’re ahead of me and of course they order eight lattes. Eight? Don’t