RANT 2.0: Even More Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama

RANT 2.0

Even More Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama

Diann Russell

Copyright 2014 Diann Russell

Smashwords Edition

Discover other titles by Diann Russell at Smashwords.com:

Under the Cloud

RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama

Sliding Home Feet First

Liberals Gone WILD!!! The Not-So-Silent Conquering of America

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Table Of Contents

Introduction

Part One: Who is Barack Obama?

Chapter 1: Hollywood on the Potomac

Chapter 2: Diminishing the Office

Chapter 3: The Mighty Pen

Chapter 4: The Reluctant Warrior

Part Two: Nag, Nag, Nag

Chapter 5: The Scolder-in-Chief

Chapter 6: The Shaming of the Shrew

Part Three: America in the Age of Obama

Chapter 7: The Obama Economy

Chapter 8: The Glitch

Chapter 9: Ferguson

Chapter 10: Stormy Weather

Chapter 11: The World According to Obama

Part Four: Oh, the Woes of the Royals

Chapter 12: The Royal Vacations

Chapter 13: It's a Hard-Knock Life

Part Five: Meanwhile in Obama's America

Chapter 14: That Frayed Race Card

Chapter 15: Those Angry, Angry Liberals

Part Six: Remember Benghazi

Chapter 16: Totally, Like Obstructing

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Introduction

In the Age of Obama, there is never a shortage of material for writing a daily political column. Some days, quite frankly, it would be possible to write an hourly column.

Since I began writing DIANNY RANTS at All the Right Snark, the only version of writer's block that has afflicted me was one caused by overload. Too many things to write about to gather my thoughts on one topic.

In my first compilation, RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama, rather than focusing on one theme, I ran the gamut. From the Obamas to gun control, immigration to gays, Liberal Democrats to the RINO Establishment, Benghazi to the Enslaved Press, Hollywood to Abortion, the Sequester to the Boston Bombing.

In this compilation, I wanted to highlight the house of cards we created when we permitted a man with no known resume to assume the office of President. The cataclysmic results of which are felt throughout our nation and the world. Rather than just one chapter on Obama, most of this compilation focuses directly on him, his policies, and of course, his shrewish wife.

Obama is Ground Zero in the Fundamental Transformation we Americans are being subjected to. It is difficult to discuss politics and snark in this current age without always coming back to Ground Zero. You cannot discuss Ferguson, Missouri without recognizing the racial divide Barack Obama created in the six years he's been President.

The economy, healthcare, climate change, foreign policy -- the noxious pall of Obama hangs over all of these.

What is truly mindboggling about Barack Hussein Obama is how someone so petulant and childish, so spiteful and arrogant, so diminished and small could have such a harmful, dangerous impact on the nation and our entire world.

Part One: Who Is Barack Obama?

Back in 2007 when Barack Obama first announced that he was going to run for President, I mentioned to an acquaintance that it made no sense to me that anyone would even consider voting for a guy who was pretty much a great big question mark.

The only secret that is more carefully guarded than Barack Obama's college transcripts is the man himself.

To this day, Rush Limbaugh loves to play a sound bite from shortly before the 2008 election where Charlie Rose and Tom Brokaw discuss Who is Barack Obama? The two card-carrying members of the Enslaved Press both acknowledge how nobody really knows who Obama is or what he believes.

Despite this fact, Obama was elected to the most powerful office on Planet Earth.

Twice.

Turns out the guy that Americans by a majority voted for in 2008 and a smaller majority in 2012 isn't the guy he plays on TV.

The election of Barack Obama was the single biggest example of the old Bait & Switch that has ever been perpetrated in the history of the universe.

The Bait of Mr. Hope'nChange who cares about the people, has been switched with Mr. Spiteful-Lecturing-Lightweight who pretty much hates us all.

Sadly, far too late for it to do any good, we all know the truth now.

The curtain has been pulled back and most Americans now see that Barack Obama isn't the Great and Wonderful O -- Healer of the Planet, Lowerer of the Seas. He is a spiteful, vindictive, arrogant, peevish ideologue with the mental age of a twelve-year-old girl who tosses a tantrum after Mom tells her she can't get her belly pierced.

Chapter 1: Hollywood on the Potomac

It takes a great deal of time and effort to concoct a fiction of this magnitude. And it is rarely seen outside of a Cecil B. DeMille-style epic film.

More time and energy was devoted to concocting the Mythical Obama than was put into the Rube Goldberg disaster known as Obamacare.

Despite the fact the Barack Obama was one gigantic mystery, Americans elected him President -- not once, but twice. Turns out that it wasn't just the Greek columns that were phony. Barack Hussien Obama -- the man whom Americans elected to the office of President -- doesn't even exist.

Obama & The Myth - December 30, 2013

Back in the Hollywood heyday of Louis B. Mayer and the Warner Brothers, when the stars belonged to a studio, it was not uncommon to create a fictional life story for their up-and-coming new motion picture stars. Not just a fake name, but a whole back story of pure Hollywood myth.

Of course, this was also back in the day when ad men showed doctors smoking cigarettes and claimed that smoking was good for your health.

Lying to sell a product was standard operating procedure.

And Hollywood stars were products. They belonged to the studio to whom they were contracted. So studios took a lot of liberties when selling their stars.

The entire rise of Barack Obama is like a fiction created by Louis B. Mayer to promote his newest matinee idol.

In his book Deconstructing Obama, Jack Cashill refers to Obama’s childhood as his origin myth. That’s a pretty spot-on description.

If you’ve never read Deconstructing Obama, I urge you to get it, buy it, check it out of the library, anything. Just read it. Cashill’s research into the myth of Obama is thorough and exhaustive.

Precious little about Barack Obama that we have been spoon-fed by his own studio executives in the Liberal movement and their publicity arm known as the Enslaved Press bears much resemblance to the truth.

Now, understand, I am not someone who buys into the belief that Barack Obama was not born in the US. I do think there are more practical reasons for Obama and his handlers to hide the truth surrounding his early years that have nothing to do with Obama being Kenyan.

However, I do feel that the story about a young girl falling in love with an older man from Kenya, their whirlwind romance, marriage and pregnancy is straight out of the MGM publicity department.

Like Cashill, I suspect that a more likely candidate for Obama’s father is the pedophile Communist Frank Marshall Davis. Barack Obama Sr. was a prop, a carefully selected actor playing the part of father to give little Barry a more exotic and colorful back story. An African father who, much as he loved his young bride and new son, had to continue with his schooling in Harvard, is a much better story than a creepy old Communist who made a young, naïve daughter of a friend pose nude for him then knocked her up.

Most of what we know about Obama’s mythical beginnings, we learn from Bill Ayers’ book Dreams from My Father. Cashill makes the case convincingly that it benefited Bill Ayers immensely to participate in the creation of the myth of Barack Hussein Obama. Though, Cashill observes, Ayers may only have set his sights on Barack becoming Mayor of Chicago.

Liberals are suckers for the multi-racial, multi-cultural, child of a single mother meme. And Ayers really played it up.

However, it isn’t just Obama’s first years of life that have been fictionalized. His whole charmed life has the stink of concoction. Like a Hollywood Studio, his handlers took care to create the myth of a young man with a brilliant mind. So smart and charismatic, he became the first black President of the Harvard Law review. Such a phenomenal writer, while still in law school, he is given a book deal. He goes on to write what some are calling the single best memoir ever written.

Nowhere in this myth is the coke-head, pot smoking lay-about who preferred the company of men to women -- composite women or the real kind. Nowhere is the reality of a young man who used his race and the exotic fiction of his Kenyan father to gain position and prestige in school that he would never have earned if it was left to merit or experience.

Nowhere in this myth do we hear about Obama’s laziness and procrastination. Squandering away the money that he was paid in advance of a book that he never seemed to be able to knuckle down and write. And when the publishers demanded the advance back after Obama’s inability to write the book became clear, Obama played the victim and whined about student loans and his poverty. The same poverty, apparently, that, after receiving a second advance on this book enabled him and his new bride to travel to Bali where he claimed he was getting away from it all to finish this book he couldn’t write.

And, when it became clear that Barack Obama -- a mediocre writer at best -- was in so far over his head he could never possibly complete this book on race, Bill Ayers was solicited to write it for him.

But Bill Ayers hasn’t been the only one to build the myth of Barack Obama. In his life pursuing public office, the Obama myth has been carefully crafted by folks like David Axelrod and Valerie Jarrett.

David Remnick, who wrote a book about Obama called The Bridge quotes Valerie Jarrett as she solidifies the myth of the great, brilliant man known as Barack Hussein Obama:

I think Barack knew that he had God-given talents that were extraordinary. He knows exactly how smart he is. … He knows how perceptive he is. He knows what a good reader of people he is. And he knows that he has the ability -- the extraordinary, uncanny ability -- to take a thousand different perspectives, digest them and make sense out of them, and I think that he has never really been challenged intellectually. … So what I sensed in him was not just a restless spirit but somebody with such extraordinary talents that had to be really taxed in order for him to be happy. … He’s been bored to death his whole life. He’s just too talented to do what ordinary people do.

In Hollywood, when the production company created a myth about a star, the star by and large lives a life that makes the myth believable.

Not so for Obama. His very visible life in public office has done nothing to support the myth of his origins or the myth of his being this brilliant, whip-smart hardworking guy who is bored to tears with us ordinary folk.

We’ve seen Barack Obama. We’ve seen what he is like. He is not particularly smart. He isn’t stupid either. He’s pretty much average. His lack of command of the written word as well as his floundering extemporaneous speaking skills fly in the face of the myth. He doesn’t come off as someone who is extraordinary. Unless he is reading words written for him by others, Obama seems incredibly ordinary, and in way over his head.

If you’ve seen the movie Singin’ in the Rain, Obama is a lot like Lina Lamont.

In the film, two silent film stars, Don Lockwood and Lina Lamont, who often play lovers on screen are told by their producers that their next film has to be a talking picture -- the new rage in film. Producers panic over the fact that Lina Lamont has a simply horrible speaking voice. In silent films she comes off elegant and beautiful, but in public life, they prevent her from speaking for fear that her hideous-sounding voice would ruin the myth. What will they do if she has to talk in a movie?

The solution they come up with is overdubbing all of her dialogue and singing with another woman’s voice -- the lovely young Kathy Selden played by Debbie Reynolds.

The opening night of the film is a hit, and Lina Lamont takes the stage for her bows. The audience hears her speak and think that she is putting them on. When they demand that she sing, Lina forces her voice double to stand behind the curtain and do the actual singing while Lina lip-syncs.

But Don Lockwood, in love with Kathy Selden, pulls the curtain up and reveals the truth. Lina Lamont is a fraud and Kathy Selden is the real star.

Obama is about as genuine as Lina Lamont. Someone else writes the words he speaks. Someone else has created the myth of his life. And when we actually hear Obama for ourselves, the myth just doesn’t hold up. He isn’t this brilliant man with the exotic past.

The curtain has been pulled up. And we see the real Obama.

He is a lazy underachiever who has received everything in his life without having to apply himself or knuckle down and get to work. Just like when he was supposedly writing his memoir, Obama uses money he hasn’t earned to live a life of luxury while others do the work for him.

What I find particularly sad is that the Enslaved Press has picked up where Bill Ayers, David Axelrod and Valerie Jarrett left off. They to this day, continue to prop up the myth of Obama.

The recent report in the New York Times about Benghazi is just another example. They perpetrate the myth of the video made them do it to divert us from the truth -- that Barack Obama is a lazy, incompetent who let Americans die at the consulate in Benghazi in order to hide the fact that his idiotic Middle Eastern policies were making that region even more dangerous and deadly. That, despite his big campaign myth of al Qaeda is on the run, Obama’s policies were enabling al Qaeda to strengthen and expand.

Like the publicity guy for MGM, the Enslaved Press doubles down on the myth of the legend of the great, brilliant Barack Hussein Obama.

Some say this Benghazi story in the Times that contradicts an earlier Benghazi story from the Times is being done as damage control for Hillary Clinton -- the cleaning of her reputation in advance of a Presidential run.

I disagree.

It isn’t a coincidence that at the same time the NY Times has released this fiction of Benghazi, the DNC has released a fundraising email telling its contributors that electing Democrats in the 2014 midterms will prevent Republicans from impeaching Obama.

This is a coordinated PR effort to scrub from the Obama story any stink of scandal -- especially a scandal that resulted in the deaths of Americans.

This has nothing to do with resuscitating Hillary Clinton and everything to do with preparing for the 2014 midterms. Obama is losing support among Americans. As much as his Administration and his breathless supporters in Congress may claim Benghazi is a phony scandal, they know it is sticking to him. As is Obamacare. As is the NSA spying on Americans. As is the weaponizing of the IRS.

The New York Times story is the start of a PR campaign to save the myth of Obama.

Trouble is, now that he is a known entity, that myth will get harder and harder to sell.

The curtain has been pulled up.

We have heard Lina Lamont’s horrible, grating voice, and we will never again fall for believing she sounds like Debbie Reynolds.

The Big Lie - April 23, 2014

Remember Obama’s howler on the night he secured the Democrat nomination in June 2008? He declared in his highly reverberated voice:

Because if we are willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on earth.

Forget the fact that only a malignant narcissist with a god complex would have the unmitigated gall to utter these words about winning a primary. Just put that aside for the time being so that we can address the more chilling reality behind this statement.

Much has been made about Barack Obama’s Lie of the Year. Now, don’t get me wrong, the If you like your plan, you can keep your plan. Period lie is without a doubt a damaging, destructive, vindictive, cynical, underhanded lie.

But there is an even bigger Lie. I would go so far as to say that it is the Big Lie.

No, not something Obama said.

The Big Lie is Barack Hussein Obama himself.

This morning I decided to wander on over to Wiki-Quotes and read through the list of quotes by Barack Hussein Obama that this über-Liberal site chose to include. If you haven’t eaten, and are not operating heavy machinery, go ahead and read through them yourself. If you, however, suffer from high blood pressure or are easily sent into the stratosphere on the Rage-o-Meter, please do not go there. The quotes I choose to include here will be more than enough to fill your throat with bile.

The thing that strikes me about Obama -- more than any other politician to ever come down the pike -- is his innate ability to never speak what he really thinks or believes. Part of that stems from the fact that he does not write his own words. His speeches, like his books, are penned by others.

Barack Hussein Obama is a persona that was created, honed and perfected by the Left. He doesn’t exist.

Now, before you start thinking I’m some tinfoil-hat-wearing kook, I am not claiming that he isn’t real. There is a guy living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington DC named Barack Hussein Obama. But he is to this mythical Obama what David Bowie is to Ziggy Stardust.

The Big Lie is the persona created for him.

The Big Lie is that Obama is a man of infinite brilliance, a literary genius, the most thoughtful, articulate creature to ever grace the world stage. When he speaks about his own abilities, Obama rarely shows what one would consider self-deprecation or humility.

Some examples:

And then, on September 11, 2001, the world fractured. It’s beyond my skill as a writer to capture that day, and the days that would follow -- the planes, like specters, vanishing into steel and glass; the slow-motion cascade of the towers crumbling into themselves; the ash-covered figures wandering the streets; the anguish and the fear. Nor do I pretend to understand the stark nihilism that drove the terrorists that day and that drives their brethren still. My powers of empathy, my ability to reach into another’s heart, cannot penetrate the blank stares of those who would murder innocents with abstract, serene satisfaction. [from the preface of the 2004 edition of Dreams from My Father (emphasis Dianny's)]

I think that I’m a better speechwriter than my speechwriters. I know more about policies on any particular issue than my policy directors. And I’ll tell you right now that I’m gonna think I’m a better political director than my political director.

The Big Lie is the Great Healer, the Uniter, the god-made-man who will heal our planet and gather the little children to his bosom and make us all love one another.

Said the Big Lie:

Years from now, you’ll look back and you’ll say that this was the moment, this was the place where America remembered what it means to hope. For many months, we’ve been teased, even derided for talking about hope. But we always knew that hope is not blind optimism. It’s not ignoring the enormity of the tasks ahead or the roadblocks that stand in our path. It’s not sitting on the sidelines or shirking from a fight. Hope is that thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us if we have the courage to reach for it and to work for it and to fight for it. [on winning the Iowa Caucus in 2008]

The forces of division have begun to raise their ugly head again … It reminds me: We’ve got a tragic history when it comes to race in this country. A lot of pent-up anger and mistrust and bitterness. This country wants to move beyond these kinds of things. [from the March 16, 2008 Boston Globe]

We’ve got to get past the divisions. We’ve got to get past the distractions of our politics and fight for each other. That is why I am running for president of the United States. And I think we’ve got an opportunity to bring about that change right here and right now. [April 12, 2008 speech in Indiana]

You know in your hearts that at this moment -- a moment that will define a generation -- we cannot afford to keep doing what we’ve been doing. We owe our children a better future. We owe our country a better future. And for all those who dream of that future tonight, I say -- let us begin the work together. Let us unite in common effort to chart a new course for America. [June 3, 2008 after winning the Minnesota primary]

Pretty words from the Big Lie.

The real Barack Obama has done more to divide us, to sew distrust and resentment than any political leader has ever done. He has created an atmosphere of hopelessness. He has spent the last five-plus years grinding the hope for the American Dream under his heel.

And of course he has. Because the Barack Obama half of the American electorate chose as their next President doesn’t exist. He never existed. The Hope and Change Snake-Oil Salesman was the Big Lie. Obama, the real Obama, is a petty, vindictive, megalomaniac whose engine is powered by the bitter, hateful bile of resentment.

Barack Obama, the real Barack Obama, does not want divisions to be mended. He doesn’t want the old wounds of this nation to be healed. He wants to pick at the scabs, reopen the scars, keep us bleeding.

The only way to conquer is to divide.

The Big Lie is the Trojan Horse, willingly permitted through the gates, happily welcomed as a gift to heal our nation. Within this Trojan Horse, poised to strike, was the real Barack Obama. The agent of change, all right. Change from the America that we love to one filled with division and fueled by hatred. Where those who are motivated by anger can exact their revenge against those whom they despise.

Obama is in on the Big Lie. He knows that man doesn’t exist. But the Big Lie is making him fabulously wealthy, giving him every charm in his very charmed life, and putting him in the single greatest position of power on the planet.

Make no mistake. This wasn’t about America. It wasn’t about the American Dream. It wasn’t about Hope. It wasn’t about Change.

It was about Obama.

Forget If you like your plan, you can keep it. Period.

This man, Barack Hussein Obama himself, is the biggest lie of all.

The Most Expensive Selfie In History - February 7, 2014

Recently released documents put the price tag for the US Delegation to Nelson Mandela’s memorial service at nineteen million dollars (hat tip The Weekly Standard).

Talk about income inequality.

Turns out Obama’s little stunt in the stands was the most expensive selfie in history.

Rush Limbaugh likes to point out that in a capitalist society, the rich become powerful; but in socialism, the powerful become rich.

I’m not sure how much more evidence needs to pile up before Mr. Income-Inequality-Stand-for-the-Little-Guy-Really-Cares-About-You will finally be recognized for what he is.

A prop. A fraud. A character in the most expensive movie ever produced. An opportunistic parasite who feeds off the wealth others have worked to create in order to live like a king.

What’s ironic is Barack Obama yesterday accused Russian President Vladimir Putin of having a public schtick to appeal to the people back home.

Yeah. And Obama by comparison is a down-to-earth, no-nonsense, what you see is what you get kinda guy.

Stop laughing; I’m not finished.

Really. Stop laughing.

This past weekend, Obama put on his best I’m totally honest, and as pure as the wind-driven snow schtick when he was interviewed by Bill O’Reilly.

There is not even a smidgen of corruption in the IRS.

Benghazi is only a scandal because Fox News is making it a scandal.

Obamacare’s website is working great.

To tell you the truth, I really don’t put all the blame on Obama.

The guy we have in the White House is a 100% media-creation. He is not the man named Barack Obama who is seen on TV reading the speeches written by others. The hip, cool, with-it, savvy, smart, brilliant, thoughtful, transformational leader that most Americans voted for doesn’t exist. He never did.

Obama is as much a creation of PR people and the Enslaved Press as the fictitious war from the movie Wag the Dog.

He didn’t write his own autobiography. Those soaring words were written by someone else. Those soaring speeches he reads were written by someone else.

This is exactly why when the real Barry Dunham Soetoro Obama steps onto the world stage he is such a profound disappointment.

He stumbles and mutters, uhhhhhs and ummmms and aaaaaands his way along, desperately searching for a coherent thought, (or, at the very least, trying to remember some talking point his handlers had gone over with him during one of his rare days in the office).

Barack Obama is the single biggest fraud perpetrated on the American People.

He isn’t a great statesman.

He isn’t a great thinker.

He isn’t a go-getter who knuckles down and does the hard work.

He’s a prop.

He’s window dressing.

When the real Barry Dunham Soetoro Obama appears it is never a pleasant experience for his detractors.

Like, say, for instance when he takes the most expensive selfie in history.

Now, like I said. I don’t put all the blame on Obama. But I do hold him responsible.

He was complicit in creating this myth. He has lied for years about himself in order to prop up and sustain this myth. He has benefited from creating this myth.

And when I say benefited, I don’t just mean in a career advancement he doesn’t deserve, but also in the wealth that he has amassed at the expense of the American People.

He isn’t some hapless rube who didn’t know what they were doing. He was a part of it.

Sadly for Obama, his narcissism is so intense that he has begun to buy into the myth he helped to create.

He really does believe he is the greatest President in the history of the country. He really does believe in his near-deity.

Which explains the most expensive selfie in history.

Barack Obama doesn’t see any problem with him spending nineteen million dollars confiscated from We the People so that he can take a large delegation to South Africa to read a speech and take a selfie in the stands.

He really doesn’t see what the big deal is about taking lavish multi-million dollar vacations while over 92 million Americans are not working.

He doesn’t care that people are so angry about losing their health insurance. Because he really never did give a damn about you. Not once.

Barry Dunham Soetoro Obama permitted himself to be used as a set piece in an epic drama of Liberalism because it was, for him, like hitting the lottery.

Just like Tom Cruise will get a huge payday when he stars in a movie, Barry Dunham Soetoro Obama got an enormous payday for being cast in the role of the great Barack Hussein Obama.

Obama isn't a President; He's a Celebrity - March 12, 2014

When the books are written about this sorry stage in our nation’s history, what will be remembered about Barack Hussein Obama is that he single-handedly managed to shrink the office of President from the Leader of the Free World to the Political Equivalent of Real Housewives of DC.

More than anything, Barack Obama wants to be famous. I can just picture a teenage Barack, toking up in his bedroom while he holds a hair brush in front of him like a microphone as he sings along to his collection of Motown 45s.

Much is being made of Barack Obama’s embarrassing appearance on Funny or Die. It’s cringe-worthy on so many levels. One hardly knows where to begin.

There’s the whole, Gee, why don’t our enemies fear us? element.

But that’s just scratching the surface of the inanity of Obama and the harm he is doing to not only the office of the President and America’s standing in the world, but also to every single American citizen whose lives are being destroyed while this guy gets to play the role of a lifetime.

Obama brings to the Presidency a level of unseriousness that leaves Clinton’s antics with a chubby intern in the dust.

Hey, at least Clinton was getting some sort of job done in the Oval office.

Obama has spent more time with Hollywood actors in the last five years than Ronald Reagan ever did, and hey, he was a Hollywood actor.

Remember back in the heyday of Yes We Can? Barack Obama invited Jay Z and his wife Beyonce to the White House where they promptly went into the Situation Room and snapped photos of themselves.

Yeah. I know. Nothing says, enemies of America, fear us, quite like Beyonce and Jay-Z yucking it up in the Situation Room.

True, that wasn’t the first time publicity hungry climbers posed in the Situation Room.

And it probably won’t be the last.

Obama lives under the illusion that his every word and deed is so incredibly amazing, historical, and earth-changing that we all share in the awe and wonder of watching him live his life before the cameras like some desperate Realty TV star.

But we aren’t the only ones who see this.

Our enemies do too.

Why do you think Putin shrugged off Obama’s stern words?

Because they were nothing more than a movie star wannabe speaking the words written by someone else playing the role of the stern, serious Commander-in-Chief.

Barack Obama isn’t a President; he’s a celebrity.

And not just any celebrity. He wants to be the next in the long line of famous for no apparent reason celebrities who injects himself into every facet of our daily lives to the point where there is no escaping him.

Obama is much happier being an image on the front of someone’s T-shirt or a poster hanging from some college student’s wall than he will ever be simply being one more in a line of United States Presidents whose names children must memorize in grade school.

Because Obama isn’t a President; he’s a celebrity.

Where most world leaders would cringe at the very idea of appearing on some ridiculous comedy program, Obama eats it up like it’s a plate of ribs and he’s Michelle.

I’m sure there are folks within the Obama Never-Ending Campaign who think it makes Barack look cool and in touch.

But we don’t live on a back lot at Universal Studios.

We live in the real world with real, live enemies. Actual human beings are being slaughtered in the streets in Venezuela, in Nigeria, in the Sudan, in Syria, in the Ukraine.

Real villains, not just Arabic-looking actors with agents from CAA, are supplying terrorists with rockets to fire into Israel.

Here at home, actual Americans, not background extras and day players, are being crushed under the weight of a dying economy.

What we need is a real, living and breathing President.

What we have is a leading man.

His campaign constructs elaborate sets complete with prop people to stand behind their leading man as he speaks his lines to the camera.

Like Tom Hanks playing a guy who dresses as a girl in Bosom Buddies until he lands that awesome break-out role and becomes a superstar, for Obama, President is just a role he is playing for the time being until a better gig comes along.

So he’ll take every interview -- even the ludicrous ones -- because for a celebrity, no publicity is bad publicity.

A President -- a real, living actual President -- would know better. He would know that the office is bigger than he is.

He would recognize that the whole world is watching him -- and not just folks in a darkened theater eating overpriced popcorn.

Our allies depend on his show of strength. Actual, real strength. Not some stage direction written in the margins of his scripts: Obama pauses for effect and frowns angrily.

A real President understands that our enemies wait and watch for weakness and the last thing a real President would do is give them an eyeful of weakness day after day, TV appearance after TV appearance.

But Obama isn’t a President; he’s a celebrity.

And like most celebrities, Obama is incapable of thinking of anyone else but himself.

It will never, not once, enter his mind that his demeaning the office of President on a startlingly regular basis has diminished this nation in the eyes of the world.

Because for Obama, the United States of America has absolutely nothing to do with being President.

It’s about getting attention, praise, adoration, fainting and cheering crowds, posters, T-shirts, bumper stickers and television appearances.

You see, Barack Obama isn’t President of the United States; he just plays one on TV.

End of scene.

Fade to black.

The Nerd Academy Awards - May 4, 2014

I tend to the think of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner as the Nerd Academy Awards. Is there anybody on Planet Earth who gives a damn?

In the interests of full disclosure, I don’t give a damn about the real Academy Awards.

The purpose of the Nerd Academy Awards seems to be to load up a room full of Enslaved Press hacks, DC insiders and a smattering of Hollywood celebrities and set them loose.

Like a circle jerk with tuxedos and Prada.

Kinda like the real Academy Awards.

This past week, the news came out that Hollywood A-Listers don’t want to attend the Nerd Academy Awards because they tend to be pawed by the attendees. According to the Hollywood Reporter, one insider remarked:

"A lot of the people who have gone say they’ll never do it again. The room is so crowded. It’s uncontrolled. There’s no limit to the number of people trying to get photos and autographs -- and there’s no way to hide from it. It’s like the stars are animals in a cage. People go crazy when they see them. They act like a bunch of kids at the Kids’ Choice Awards."

As a commenter over at Breitbart observed, you get what you vote for.

But it’s more than that.

Our once Free Press have become star-struck sillies who care more about being a part of the in crowd than they care about anything remotely resembling journalism.

Their open, slobbering fan-girl obsession with Barack Obama hasn’t particularly waned over the last five and a half years. He is their creation after all. They are solely responsible for his Presidency and they expect to be rewarded for their faithful enslavement.

The Nerd Academy Awards is more than just a fancy dinner where the President gets up and reads the jokes written for him by some twenty-something who aspires to be a sitcom writer.

These journalists actually do get awards.

I was reading about the dinner at Fox News‘ website this morning, and at the bottom of the write-up, there is a list of award winners and one of the names popped out at me.

One of the winners of the Edgar A. Poe Award for coverage of issues of national significance was Brian Ross of ABC.

Remember Brian Ross?

Back in July 2012 a crazy nutcase named James Holmes entered an Aurora, Colorado movie theater during the showing of Batman and began to shoot up the place. The Enslaved Press snapped into action to spin the story in favor of gun control.

Brian Ross took it a step further and, in an effort to tie it to right wingers, dutiful slave that he is, did a quickie internet search and discovered that in Colorado, there was a Tea Party group member named James Holmes. Ross promptly went on ABC News and reported that the shooter was a member of the Tea Party.

Whoops.

Apparently they named it the Edgar A. Poe Award because the winners are journalists who are really good at telling tales that are at their heart idiotic lies.

Glenn Thrush and Brianna Keilar won the Aldo Beckman Award for excellence in coverage of the presidency.

You know them, right? They’re the ones who have been dogged in pursuing the truth behind the attack in Benghazi, the IRS targeting of conservative groups, and Fast and Furious…

No.

Wait.

Sharyl Attkisson, someone who did not win any awards at the Nerd Academy Awards, was the one who has maintained excellence in coverage of this presidency.

I never heard of Glenn Thrush or Brianna Keilar. Then again, I’m sure that’s because I tend to avoid reading articles about Obama by journalists who sound more like they’re writing for a Justin Timberlake fan blog site than any reputable news organization.

Of course, no Nerd Academy Awards is complete without the President of the United States getting up and cracking jokes like he’s Carrot-top.

Unfortunately, Barack Obama’s scriptwriter doesn’t seem to comprehend the concept of self-deprecating humor.

In the past, most Presidents used the Nerd Academy Awards as an opportunity to poke fun at themselves and be good sports about the criticisms they’ve been subjected to in the past. George W. Bush joked about his alleged stupidity, for example.

Obama’s jokes are always mean, petty digs at all the people he doesn’t like. Given how completely out of touch Obama is with the American people, and given how completely shielded he always is from any criticism, thanks in large part to all those morons who attend the White House Correspondents’ dinner, it isn’t too surprising that Obama doesn’t have the first clue when his jokes aren’t particularly funny.

Like, for example when Hussein Youngman said this last night:

"We rolled out healthcare.gov. That could have gone better. In 2008 my slogan was ‘Yes we can.’ In 2013 my slogan was ‘Control-alt-delete.'"

I bet all you people who lost your health insurance coverage, then had to spend hours upon hours attempting to navigate a useless, ineptly constructed website all find that uproariously funny.

Most Presidents at the Nerd Academy Awards used their time to turn the humor on themselves.

Not Obama.

He goes after others in a smug and nasty way.

He laughs at your pain. He laughs at the harm he caused millions of Americans with the launch of this atrocious website.

Even Politico, that partisan news outlet observed that Obama laughs at but not with.

Again, part of this stems from his comedy routine being written by some twenty-something with aspirations of being the next Norman Lear. Obama doesn’t write his own material ever. Even his own memoir isn’t his.

But a self-aware, sensitive, caring man would read through the script and say, You know, maybe we shouldn’t make fun of the healthcare.gov website. Lots of people got burned by that and are really angry. It’s kind of callous for me to joke about it.

But Obama isn’t self-aware.

He isn’t thoughtful.

He isn’t caring.

The only thing Obama wants to do at the Nerd Academy Awards is get the best laughs and to be seen as cool and funny. He’s picturing in his mind Kristen Bell or Gloria Estefan catching up with him afterward and gushing about how funny and amazing he is.

Like the snotty popular girl in high school who revels in inflicting pain on others in order to get a laugh, mean girl humor is what Obama does best. He’s rude. He’s opinionated. He’s arrogant. And he really does think he’s better than everybody else.

Obama uses the Nerd Academy Awards as an opportunity to verbally pants the people he dislikes.

I bet the person most tickled by those mean-spirited jokes was Barack Obama.

He’s like your typical catty, condescending gay man standing at the bar making fun of everyone on the dance floor who passes into view.

Even when Obama is allegedly being self-deprecating, his jokes really are about slamming his critics.

The Politico story closes with a quote from Jon Favreau the twenty-something who used to be Obama’s chief speechwriter (and, possible author of The Audacity of Hope):

"In the early years," Favreau added, he joked about the image of him as a Messiah, and he joked about his birth certificate. (At the Al Smith Memorial Dinner in New York in 2008, Obama declared, Contrary to the rumors you’ve heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton …)

This is what passes for self-deprecation in the Obama Administration.

How is this self-deprecating? Jokes about his birth certificate were digs at the birthers, not at himself.

Joking about not being born in a manger, but on Krypton is self-deprecating?

I’m not Jesus; I’m Superman.

Yeah. That’s taking it in the nuts.

The truth is, Barack Obama uses the Nerd Academy Awards as another opportunity to get an ego boost. Surrounded, as he is, by sycophantic tushie-kissers