Of the Dragonfly

What others are saying about Of the Dragonfly:

Of the Dragonfly hooked me with the first chapter and I willingly, enthusiastically let Audrey Gene take me on a fascinating journey with exciting twists and turns in almost each chapter. She juggles the mystical with nail-biting adventure with ease and confidence.

Louis B. Hobson

Calgary Sun

Of the Dragonfly surprises and enthrals right from the first chapter. Gene has created a disarmingly likable protagonist who is thrust into a story of romance, thrills, travel, and hints of the supernatural. Told with passion and charm, its many facets don’t overwhelm each other, but rather work together cohesively to tell the tale. The audience is willing to follow this character anywhere.

Paul Sonsteby

Author, Editor, and Teacher

Of the Dragonfly is a heartfelt, romantic adventure that will make you believe in destiny.

Derek Donais

Author, Metal Magic Trilogy

An entertaining read from this new author who takes us on a journey from city living to tropical islands. Along the way, we are taken through mystic happenings, intrigue, and unwavering love. Looking forward to more novels from this promising author.

Margaret Warren

Marigold Library System—Retired

Of the Dragonfly allows you to escape with action and adventure through Audrey Gene’s descriptive imagery. You follow a young lady, Evangeline May Sinclair, on a venture to unravel the mysteries that catch her in a struggle for her life. The reader’s attention is caught and held as unexpected twists carry you through to the end. This is Audrey Gene’s debut novel, and her first attempt at creative writing, and I can’t wait for the next novel. Well done, Audrey Gene—this is a book I will recommend to my friends.

Janlyn Andrews

Business Owner

Of the Dragonfly

A Novel

Audrey Gene

Of the Dragonfly: a novel by Audrey Gene

Copyright © 2014 by Audrey Gene

ISBN: 978-0-9869163-0-4

E-ISBN: 978-0-9869163-1-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, copied, stored, shared, distributed, or transmitted in any printed or electronic form, or by any means whatsoever—graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including but not limited to photocopying, scanning, recording, or information storage and retrieval systems—without the prior written permission of the author and the publisher. For more information, please write to the publisher at:

Endeavour More Publications

Email: endeavourmorepublications@gmail.com

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, places, or locales is entirely coincidental and not intended by the author. The author and the publisher do not have any control over and do not assume any responsibility for website and social media content that is not their own.

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

Gene, Audrey

Of the dragonfly / Audrey Gene.

ISBN 978-0-9869163-0-4

I. Title.

PS8613.E5395O4 2011 C813’.6 C2011-903566-9

For God,

who has made everything possible.

For my husband, Cam,

who is my best friend and has lit up my life

with true love and happiness.

For my family,

who have surrounded me with

unconditional love and support.

This is for all of you.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Getting to where I am now is due to a series of miracles and blessings, all of which came shining down on me from the grace of God. Those blessings include many people to whom I’d like to express my most sincere gratitude.

First of all, my husband, Cam. Since I wrote this story in 2009, you have been my number one fan. Not once did you doubt me, and never did you think any of this was ridiculous. Your ongoing love and support is still the reason why marrying you was my greatest accomplishment ever.

Mom and Dad. You raised me to be the woman I am. Thank you for always believing in me. I love you so much.

My family, Todd, Martha, Hayley, Jaycey, and Gord. Thank you for the abundance of love that you bring into my life.

My editors, Jens Petersen and Rachel Small. Your expertise and attention to detail has helped me skilfully refine this story into the novel that it is. I have learned so much from both of you and it has been a pleasure working with you.

Dr. Kathleen Dudzinski of the Dolphin Communication Project. Getting to know you, your team, and the people of the Bahamas those many years ago changed my life. My time with the wild dolphins of the Bahamas was a dream come true, and your passion for these gentle creatures continues to move me deeply. Thank you for being a major inspiration for this story. I will dream of the dolphins always.

Margaret Davenport-Freed, my medium and friend. Your love and insight into the other side has blessed me not only by helping me find my husband but also by helping me discover who I truly am. You are an angel walking among us.

Louis B. Hobson. You made me feel proud when I lacked the confidence. Thank you for your kindness.

James Chung, Margaret and David Warren, Jill Vandenberg, Paul Sonsteby, Derek Donais, and Janlyn Andrews. Thank you for believing in me as a new author. Your enthusiasm and support for this novel has meant so much.

Shauna Kenworthy, of Shauna Kenworthy Photography. Thank you for your generosity and doing your magic. Your work is beautiful.

James Giltner. Thank you for providing me with the front cover dragonfly image. She is exactly what I hoped for.

All my friends, relatives, co-workers, clients, acquaintances, the people of my town, and everyone who helped put this book together. Thank you for your incredible support. It means so much that you are all cheering for me.

If I have missed anyone, I apologize—it was only on paper. In my heart you have not been forgotten.

CONTENTS

Prologue: THE HUNGER

Chapter 1: THE TRANSISTION

Chapter 2: A SIMPLE LIE

Chapter 3: THE VISITOR

Chapter 4: BLUE ANGEL

Chapter 5: UNDER THE SUN

Chapter 6: SAND DOLLAR

Chapter 7: THE SIGN

Chapter 8: THE HANGOVER

Chapter 9: SUGAR ISLAND

Chapter 10: SANDY TREASURES

Chapter 11: THE VOYAGE

Chapter 12: PRELUDE

Chapter 13: A WELCOME FRIEND

Chapter 14: THE CATHEDRAL

Chapter 15: A MESSAGE

Chapter 16: BROKEN

Chapter 17: THE EVANGELINE

Chapter 18: MEMORY CAY

Chapter 19: PARALLEL WORLDS

Chapter 20: AT LAST

Chapter 21: THE ENCOUNTER

Chapter 22: THE FACADE

Chapter 23: BOMBSHELL

Chapter 24: NO REGRETS

Chapter 25: RISING DAWN

Chapter 26: THE SUN AND THE SAND

Chapter 27: THE GIFT

Chapter 28: RUDE AWAKENING

Chapter 29: REFUGE

Chapter 30: THE PLAN

Chapter 31: THE HUNT

Chapter 32: REPRISAL

Chapter 33: SAFE HARBOUR

Chapter 34: TRUTH

Chapter 35: THE DRAGONFLY

Prologue

THE HUNGER

Ihave never considered myself to be someone out of the ordinary. I’ve never had any special talents, nor have I ever been into hobbies. I’ve attempted a handful of endeavours, each time exhausting the ambition as quickly as it came. I was happy enough though. My life was simple.

Still, there was something nudging at me—an invisible force—much like the wind. I had felt there was more to life, more to myself, and surely more waiting in the future. I could never place a finger on what I was feeling, but it was like a hunger pang that wouldn’t go away. I had eaten, and eaten well, but there was still a hunger lingering. Though this feeling was subtle, at times it was all I could focus on.

As a child, this same sensation often came over me. It was never provoked by anything, yet when it came, it was undeniably real. This consciousness—as strange as it was—played tricks on my mind, leaving me to wonder if I were real. Not just the voice in my head, but the flesh on my bones, the beat of my heart, and the warmth of my blood. It was as though my soul were restless and trapped inside a stagnant, borrowed body. Was this really me? Was I caught in a dream or was this some form of altered reality?

I was a child, for heaven’s sake, only seven years old when I began to have these experiences. Why would a seven-year-old feel as though she were a visitor in her own body and surroundings? What would make a child feel this lost?

As the years passed, this perplexing state of mind continued to trouble me, at times making me almost dizzy with confusion. I remember shaking my head as if to shake the rain off my hair, when actually I was trying to shake this feeling away. Sometimes I was uncertain whether I was alive, or dreaming, or even supposed to be here—on this plane, in this realm.

Eventually though, I trained myself to pay little attention to these feelings. I let them be what they were: confusing and uncomfortable. Before long, I grew into a teenager, faced with new sensations. Like the other girls my age, I became awkward and unsure, desperate for the attention of some special boy. My focus now was on trying to look pretty, surviving my gym class, and struggling to keep my head above water in my school work.

I lost those sensations from the past, those that made me feel as though my body were a temporary uniform, given to me for this term of life. They had all disappeared.

Until now.

Here I am, at twenty-three years of age, working for a multimillion dollar energy corporation. My name is Evangeline May Sinclair. Most know me as Evy. I spend my days as an industrious junior analyst on the twenty-ninth floor of a lofty skyscraper in the heart of a concrete jungle.

I’ve advanced my way to a four-cubicle bullpen next to a window. I share this space with two other analysts and the department supervisor. Our window looks out at other towers, with other employees sitting in their cubicles, also looking out at their view. We are mirrored images of one another.

With three weeks’ vacation, an impressive title on a sharp-looking business card, and the privilege of underground parking, I should feel blessed in my career. The only problem is that I don’t.

I never intended to be ungrateful, but I don’t know what I’m doing here. I know what my job is, and how to get from A to B in my eight-hour day, but do I really know what the bigger picture is? Why am I here? How is this job relevant to me? Am I making a mark on this company? More important, is this company making a mark on me?

Day after day, I leave work feeling devoid of purpose. There is no energy behind what I do, no sense of accomplishment or contribution. I am not present. I am not mindful. I walk the halls with my eyes glazed over. In conversations, I nod and smile, not even listening to what the person is saying. I look at the papers on my desk, the phone messages, the emails, the spreadsheets on my computer screen, and I feel nothing but indifference.

I know I am young and still have my life ahead of me, but this is more than the feelings of an unfulfilled young woman. No matter how hard I try, I cannot ignore the overwhelming feeling that I’m supposed to be somewhere else. I may be one of many who feel this way, but it doesn’t stop me from asking myself the same old questions: What am I doing? What am I gaining? And the most difficult question of all, what am I giving back?

But it is the bigger picture that scares me. Often I feel I’m on the outside looking in, as if I were a ghost, floating down the halls of existence. I look around and see thousands of other people also floating. We are bumping into one another, and no one knows why. Sometimes I wonder, when the fog settles, if I may be alone in this. Maybe I am the only one who feels there has to be more to life than this. It’s hard not to wonder when I see countless others going about their days with their joker faces on. Are they honestly happy? For their sake, I hope they are.

Now, a young woman, I’m having the same experiences I had as a child. Once again, I am shaking the rain off my hair, feeling as though I’m in a skin-and-bone uniform, dressed for occupation in an alien world. I feel foreign as I wander through life, smiling at everyone I pass. No one understands that I am only trying to snuff out this cloud of confusion around me.

Dragonfly—

She is of the wind. She is of the water.

She will carry the dreams of your unconscious

to where they belong.

She—the dragonfly—will carry you home.

Do not waste your life waiting for wings.

Trust that you can already fly.

Chapter 1

THE TRANSITION

Have a great night, Evy. Seth waved from the other end of the hall. Don’t forget about the meeting at eight-thirty tomorrow.

I won’t. I may not be awake for it, but I’ll be there. I turned the corner toward the elevator.

Evy, wait! I jumped as Seth ran up behind me. Do you want to go for a drink tonight? Or we could grab some dinner?

Seth was one of my closest friends. He made working for the company more tolerable. There was only one problem—I wasn’t nearly the friend to him that he was to me.

Um, I don’t think so, Seth. I’m going to head home. Thanks though.

Not even a drink?

No, I’m pretty tired. I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I looked down at the floor. I think I’m going to take it easy tonight. Taking it easy was exactly what I did every night, and he knew it.

All right, I’ll catch you in the morning then. Drive safe.

I will. Thanks, Seth. See you tomorrow. I pressed the elevator button as Seth disappeared around the corner. Ah, man, I said, shaking my head. I rarely accepted his invitations.

The drive home was quick; I barely remembered it. It was one more instance of not being present.

I walked into my dark, quiet house and kicked off my shoes. My home was the place where I could be myself—my authentic self. It was here that I had complete ownership of my time, my thoughts, and my feelings. I answered to no one. Well, almost no one. I did have my two cats, Carlos and Cali.

Hey, guys. You’re hungry, aren’t you? Both cats meowed at me. I reached down and patted their heads. Let’s get you some food.

They were my reward at the end of the day, greeting me with doting affection no matter my state of mind. They made me feel as though I were the most important person in the world. All they expected in return was food and love. Food and love—the words repeated in my mind.

Can you imagine what a world it would be if everyone felt that way? I said to the cats. They crunched their kibble, ignoring me. They were used to my talking to myself. Share food and love, and no one would go hungry, and no one would be lonely. Desperation wouldn’t play a part if people could support their families with food and love. Money would lose its power, and crime and war would come to an end. Neither cat responded. Never mind then. I walked away, alone in my conviction.

I turned on the TV and scrolled through the channels. News programs dominated the dinner hour. Why is there never a shortage of what is wrong in the world, only a shortage of what is good? I searched for a sitcom. I suppose good news doesn’t command the same attention. I settled for music videos instead. What a shame. The world would stand a better chance if people were inundated with only stories of compassion, love, and the possibilities of joy.

I returned to the kitchen, filled a pot with water, and set it on the burner. I imagined compassion becoming infectious, the way a person felt after watching an uplifting episode of Oprah. They’d walk away moved and hopeful, and if they’re like me, they’d even cry a little. Happy tears, of course. Okay, perhaps mixed with heartache because you realize how much of your life you live like a robot, going through the motions of waking up—loathing the alarm clock more each morning—and getting dressed and ready to start your day in corporate hell. You work, you eat, and you work some more. Then you go home and try to slow the clock down during your own personal time. You shower, you go to bed, and you start all over again.

It’s absurd that when you’re doing what you want with your own time, the clock seems to race ahead. When you are chasing the millions for the big wigs you haven’t even met, however, the clock seems to move in reverse.

Wow, my thoughts sure have become gloomy, I said, stirring a bowl of hot noodle soup. I have to stop this. My spoon circled around the green onions until I found a mushroom to scoop up. Resting my chin on my hand, I held my face above the bowl. I breathed in the aromatic steam and closed my eyes. My chin slipped from my hand as I nodded off. I guess it’s time to call it a night.

Three weeks passed, and with them my outlook and attitude gradually improved. For reasons unclear, I could feel my spirit—as though separate from my body—taking over and deciding that this person it was holed up in did want to be someone out of the ordinary. I became aware that I had control over my discontentment. I had not been living the life I wanted to lead and it was time to change.

Something had stirred in my core and was continuing to churn. I wanted to walk the halls of life and know I was sincere when I greeted someone. I wanted to laugh and truly feel pleasure. I wanted to experience the joy of a person’s company, not the burden of it. It was time to move forward, for all the right reasons, in all the right ways. For the first time, the possibility of making a mark of my own seemed real. Never mind data input—what about life input? Maybe, just maybe, I could change my life simply by changing my thoughts.

Carlos and Cali curled up with me on the couch after another long day. Staring out the window, I watched the traffic and tried to figure out how I was going to make such a drastic change in my life now that I had convinced myself I wanted more.

It’s not as if I can quit my job and chase fairies and rainbows all day. Both cats looked up at me. I have obligations. I have a mortgage to pay, cats to care for—no offence, guys—and a family to dedicate more time to. I also have a bedtime to obey if I’m going to get up on time in the morning.

It was too much to think about this late in the evening, and there was no point getting overwhelmed. What would Mom tell me to do? Carlos was the only one to lift his head. She’d tell me to let go and let God. And then she’d tell me to go to bed.

Over the next couple of weeks, I allowed the transition to unfold. I was sleeping deeper than ever, and most mornings I woke charged with excitement. With revived energy and a new awareness, I had opened myself up to the universe, and because of that, the evolution had begun.

Night after night, I’d get lost in some adrenaline-rushing adventure. My heart raced each morning as I woke to the alarm clock. Unfortunately, at each awakening, the memory of my dreams vanished. It didn’t matter; I was grateful to wake up feeling optimistic and buoyantly alive. My alarm clock was no longer my enemy, and I could show up for work and not feel as if I were drowning. My head was finally above water.

I might always feel there is something more out there waiting for me, but rather than have it weigh on me, I would now embrace whatever possibilities the future held.

Chapter 2

A SIMPLE LIE

Hey, Evy. Where were you this morning? You missed the meeting.

I know. Good morning, Seth. I had trouble starting my car.

Again?

I nodded.

The truth was I hadn’t slept well—an unexpected exception to my many splendid nights. I woke shortly after four-thirty, crying. I had been immersed in an intense dream but did not remember a single detail. I felt as if my heart had been crushed. This had happened before, after a night of dreaming, but this time it was much worse.

Not able to fall asleep again, I lay there until the alarm clock turned on. When it did, I smacked it hard and rolled back over to steal a few more minutes in bed. An hour later, I jumped out of bed, cursing how late I was going to be for work.

The car excuse was a lie, but it was believable. At this stage in my life, I was ashamed to admit I still belonged to the crappy car club. I drove a 1999 Honda Civic speckled with rust. Even on the sunniest of days, its metallic green body failed to gleam. Day after day, I drove past the many polished, sleek BMWs, Mercedes, and Acuras on my way to the fifth level of underground parking. People must have thought I was the summer student who never left.

That’s too bad, Evy. You should’ve replaced that car years ago. It causes you nothing but trouble.

You sound like my dad.

He’s right. Remember what I told you two years ago?

I tuned Seth out as he continued in his typical preaching manner. Was I just jealous? He owned one of those shiny, black Mercedes parked on Level Two.

Anyway, are you still up to going to the Kilt & Anchor tonight for Jess’s birthday? We’re meeting there around seven o’clock.

Oh, yeah, that’s tonight. I looked at my watch. Darn, I don’t think I’ll make it tonight after all. I have to take my car to my dad so he can have a look at it. I followed through with my lie. Not to mention, I’m taking Monday off in lieu of working last Saturday. I want to make it a long weekend at my parents’.

It’s Friday night. Can’t you go tomorrow?

No, I don’t want to risk leaving it any longer than I have to. The more time I give Dad to tinker the better. Besides, I’m taking Jess for lunch to celebrate. I’m sure she won’t even miss me tonight.

Of course she will, Ev.

I know. I’m sorry.

Jess wouldn’t really miss me, but Seth would. He’d been taking up residence in my shadow for some time now. And although I worked closely with him in the office, I kept my distance outside of the workplace. For some reason, I could never find it within myself to attempt a relationship with him.

Evy, are you okay? He waved his hand in front of my face.

I stared at him, thinking what a shame it was that I didn’t have feelings for him. Not only was he confident and successful, he was warm and generous. Often I would find a blueberry muffin and a coffee, the way I like it, on my desk with a smiley face drawn in the bottom corner of the napkin. And though his chestnut hair and chocolate eyes could easily melt the hearts of others, they could not melt mine.

I knew why I was still single, but why was he? Any woman would be blessed to be in his arms. As for me, I was known to be reserved in the love department. It was as though I were a light switch waiting to be turned on, yet here I was waiting patiently in the dark.

It’s not as if I’d never dated. Two separate relationships lasted almost a year, and since then, I had gone on first dates, second dates, even blind dates. But the light switch always remained off. I am not against love. I am quite the opposite. I just haven’t found it yet.

Evy? Seth waved his hand again. What’s wrong? You seem distant. He knew me well enough to notice when I wasn’t my usual self. Is Miranda on your case again?

I’m fine, Seth. I’m just tired.

So is it Miranda?

Yeah, I guess. She’s been breathing down my neck about the Green Age project. I thumbed through the pages of her latest handout. She hasn’t even outlined the objectives to us, yet she’s demanding a draft of the first sixty-day client rollout by the end of next week. How am I supposed to know what we’re rolling out to the clients if she doesn’t know yet? I shook my head and sat back in my chair.

Miranda was our boss. She was tough, and she was intimidating. Whether she knew it or not, she caused you to regress back to your junior high personality. She was the bully in school who overpowered you to the point of making you want to throw yourself into the locker. I swear I could feel her presence the minute I walked off the elevator in the morning.

She wasn’t the worst manager out there, but she definitely didn’t strive to make you shine as an employee. Her own success was her priority, and you worked your butt off for her annual bonuses. Hers—not yours. Showing up day after day for a sport in which only she could score was both frustrating and depressing.

Stand your ground, Evy. You can’t let her get to you like this.

That’s easy for you to say. She likes you.

No, she doesn’t. I just don’t let her push me around the way you do.

I twirled in my chair and threw down the handout. I should go. I grabbed my pen and stood up. Why was it he assumed I let her push me around?

Evy, don’t be upset. I’m just saying—

I’m not upset, Seth. I’m frustrated. Don’t you ever wonder what we’re doing here?

Yes, we’re collecting a paycheque.

Is that enough? I looked him straight in the eyes.

Um, you see the car I drive, don’t you?

I sighed. He was cute, in his own uncomplicated way, and I envied him. The paycheque was great, I couldn’t deny that, but I wished it were for more than paying the bills and buying lattes. I wished it could quiet that blustering wind that had been building in force.

Anyway, I’ll talk to you later, I said. I have to sit down with Barb to go over the month-end numbers.

Yeah, I should do something too. There’s a motorbike I have my eye on, if you know what I mean. Seth winked, proud to know where his future paycheques were going.

If I don’t see you later, have a great time tonight. And make sure Jess gets home safely, will you?

You know I will. I’m still hoping you’ll change your mind and come.

I won’t. I looked away.

I know.