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    R.A.S.H (Rent.A.Super.Hero)
    R.A.S.H (Rent.A.Super.Hero)
    R.A.S.H (Rent.A.Super.Hero)
    Ebook125 pages1 hour

    R.A.S.H (Rent.A.Super.Hero)

    By Sebastian H. Alive

    ()

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    About this ebook

    They’re back! The secret agents of S.H.I.T. have returned!
    Following an excellent severance package which included added incentives for signing a Government non-disclosure agreement, the General decides to set up his own independent agency as a contractor. With no money or clients he forms the agency, R.A.S.H (Rent.A.Super.Hero) and convinces Agent One and Agent Two to join him to make the streets of London safe once again, plus make some money while they’re at it!
    Their first client is a wealthy, high-profile individual educated at Eton College, who lives at number 10 Downing Street and works for the British Government but his identity cannot be revealed for security reasons. Their mission is to stop an international arms trafficker who goes by the name of Count Viscount and bring his operation down by any means necessary.
    In a secret location located somewhere secret the agents begin to interview unique candidates to join their specialist crime-fighting unit.
    Candidates like...
    ... The Black Widow - who doesn't appear to have any superhero powers as far as they can tell but don’t underestimate the fact that she can bend her legs behind her head. It's not a common ability...
    ... Man-with-bat - who suffers with roid rage from illicit steroid use used to promote his extreme muscular growth which has given him 3 mild heart-attacks in the last 2 years, liver damage, bouts of insomnia as well as shrinking his testicles to the size of baked beans...
    ... Multiple Boy - who has the amazing ability to duplicate himself with perfect copies which is an ability he developed at birth when his mother gave birth to triplets...
    ... Captain Fanspastic - who is a complete paraplegic and has Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis but if the agency employs him they receive free road tax and great PR for the company...
    Supervised by Agent One and Agent Two these unique individuals form an unlikely and unorthodox crime fighting unit with one goal which is to make the streets of London safe again.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSebastian H. Alive
    Release dateDec 1, 2014
    ISBN9781310608803
    R.A.S.H (Rent.A.Super.Hero)
    Author

    Sebastian H. Alive

    Sebastian H. Alive is a Purchasing Manager by day, controlling and manipulating the world’s economy while brainwashing the gullible masses. By evening he is father to two demonic minions that the devil is too embarrassed to be associated with and by night he writes stories.

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      Book preview

      R.A.S.H (Rent.A.Super.Hero) - Sebastian H. Alive

      R.A.S.H.

      Rent A Super Hero

      By Sebastian H. Alive

      Published by Sebastian H. Alive

      License Notes

      This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

      This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Copyright 2015 Sebastian H. Alive

      Chapter One

      R.A.S.H headquarters…

      Ring ring….ring ring….

      The sharp, shrill ring of the phone cut through the silence in the office making everyone jump and look at it, but no-one at the table made a move to answer the call.

      There's a strange noise coming from that device on the table, agents! snapped the General impatiently.

      Agent One looked up unconcerned, then swiveled in his plastic chair and stared out through the blinds of the third-floor office window, while Agent Two remained fixated on the pyramid he was constructing out of business cards.

      Yes, yes, I think I've seen one of these things before, continued the General through gritted teeth. It's an appliance used for communication between two people not within talking range.

      Agent Two paused and glanced up at the phone for a second before completing the pyramid with a satisfied grin on his face.

      Strange things phones! growled the General, drumming his fingers on the desk and glaring at both agents. Sometimes they ring and normally they stop when someone picks up the receiver.

      Probably a telemarketer, grumbled Agent One without looking around. Let it go to voicemail.

      With each continuous ring the vein in the centre of the Generals forehead swelled until it looked like it was just about ready to burst.

      That incoming call could be our very first client, pointed out the General stabbing his finger in the direction of the phone. So if you useless festering pus bags of incompetence don’t want to be fired, then someone pick up the phone!

      At the risk of stating the obvious, said Agent One calmly. We signed up for a job which we haven’t been paid for yet, so I'm on strike. No pay, no work, and last time I checked we're the only staff you have!

      Yeah, we're on unpaid time here, added Agent Two crossing his arms. I want to re-negotiate my role within this organization.

      I see, so we have dissent in the ranks. What a tragic coincidence of equal stupidity you both are. We're starting this business up remember, and to bring the money in we need clients and a missed call is missed money. Now pick up the phone, that's an order, agent!

      With a heavy sigh Agent One reached across and picked up the receiver and said, Hello?

      With a groan the General flapped his arms in disgust and his eyes rolled in his head.

      What? asked Agent One, putting his hand over the phone speaker.

      You need to make a positive first impression, hissed the General clenching and unclenching his fists. People pick up on your attitude instantly. Be personal and try and display a professional atmosphere. That first interaction with the customer is key to whether they pay for our services. Remember a smile can be sensed in your voice.

      Have you quite finished?

      Just get on with it. grumbled the General sinking his head into his hands.

      Hi you're through to Agent One from R.A.S.H, how can I help you? spoke the agent into the phone.

      He nodded his head a few times into the receiver then said, No, you don’t have to give your real name if you don’t want to. I understand.

      Sounds promising. whispered the General excitedly.

      Is it localized to one part of the body? asked Agent One with a frown.

      The excitement on the General's face faded and was replaced by a look of confusion.

      Yes, sexual health clinics keep separate medical records and for your own peace of mind I suggest you get tested, commented Agent One twirling the curly cord between his fingers. No, sorry, I can't transfer you.

      Cursing under his breath the General sank his head back into his hands.

      Rash is the name of our company, yes, said the agent, before pausing and listening. Yes, I also understand that's a stupid name for a company.

      The agent looked across to the General accusingly then said, We specialize in superheroes for hire in and around the London region and have only just opened for business. No, no, that's fine. Thank you for your time anyway and I hope it clears up soon. Goodbye now!

      Agent One gently placed the receiver back on the cradle and sniffed.

      Excellent telephone manner by the way. commented Agent Two in appreciation.

      I think we may need to change the company name, replied Agent One. It's probably not appropriate for the line of work we're in.

      A costly and disruptive process, so the name stays said the General looking up.

      When are we going to see some action? cried Agent Two in exasperation. We're field agents not receptionists. We need to be in the thick of the action tackling crime on the streets of London not stuck behind a desk taking calls.

      We need two things, clients and some superheroes, and fortunately for you two useless parasitic individuals I've been looking for potential recruits. Now I have some superheroes coming to the office shortly and I want you both to interview the candidates and assess their suitability for joining R.A.S.H. Do you think you can do that, agents?

      That could be fun! said Agent One nodding his head. Sure, we can do that.

      Oh, and one final thing, added the General getting up from the desk. Next time try to answer the phone within three rings.

      Yes, sir. the agents said in unison.

      Chapter Two

      The Black Widow

      A prolonged awkward silence fell on the interview room as both agents stared at the beautiful dark-skinned woman sat across from them clad head-to-toe in black leather.

      We should talk to her. whispered Agent One with his eyes glued on the woman who looked back a little uncomfortably.

      Agent Two remained slack-jawed with his head tilted to the side and his mouth hung open as he gazed at her dreamily.

      This staring feels creepy. said Agent One smiling through gritted teeth.

      My god, you're so beautiful, whispered Agent Two in a low voice. So amazingly hot!

      Suddenly he grunted in pain as Agent One nudged him in the ribs with his elbow and looked at him sternly.

      Maybe we should be professional about this, huh?

      You’re right, replied Agent Two snapping out of his trance then clearing his throat. So…uhm…do you usually wear leather?

      I like the feel of leather against my skin and always wear my clothes very tight. purred the woman flicking her long, thick black hair over her shoulder.

      That's an automatic tick, right? he blurted looking across to Agent One who nodded his head quickly. Excellent, you’re offered the job. Congratulations! All of your hard work has paid off so when can you start?

      But you haven’t asked me any other questions yet? queried the woman with her perfectly-manicured eyebrows slightly raised.

      Yes, yes of course, muttered Agent Two raising his clipboard and staring at her with his pen poised over the paper. We should probably cover the whole leather clothing thing a little more in depth at a later time. Can you state your superhero identity?

      I’m called Black Widow but my civilian name is Susan. she answered huskily.

      We’ll cross that out and put, Super Susan, said Agent Two throwing her a wink then scribbling something down on the clipboard. "For the purposes of this interview panel can you describe your superhero powers? For instance, do you emit deadly neurotoxic

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