The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything
By Nigel Holmes, Richard Sandomir and Mark Reiter
3.5/5
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About this ebook
Now it's time to use the same rigorous method for everything that really matters in culture, people, history, the arts and more. In The Enlightened Bracketologist the editors have organized the world's most haunting and maddeningly subjective questions into a scheme of binary pairings that finally reveal what is truly the best in its class: La Tache or Chateau Latour? (1) Barry Bonds or Terrell Owens? (2) "Vissi d'arte" or "Dove Sono"? (3) OJ verdict or JFK assassination? (4) "Top of the world, Ma" or "Nobody's perfect"? (5) Two by two, The Enlightened Bracketologist pits our cultural mainstays against each other; only the finest survive. Every double-page spread of this book will contain a series of brackets compiled by experts and celebrities, with text call-outs that highlight the reason why one competitor moves on and another doesn't. Already committed are Elvis Costello on popular songs; David Bouley on cookbooks; Leon Fleisher on piano music; Reneé Fleming on opera arias; Henry Beard on French phrases; Joseph Ward on wine.
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Reviews for The Enlightened Bracketologist
14 ratings1 review
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Someone asks you, "What's your favorite food?"; you quickly answer "Spaghetti", because it's at the tip of your tongue. But then you start thinking...what about pizza? what about cheese fondue? what about donuts (and are they actually "doughnuts")? This is where you need bracketology. Yes, the system used in sports playoffs. With bracketology, you can put pizza against cheese fondue (and all of your other favorites) and really get to the heart of which is your absolute favorite, which favorite knocks all other favorites out of the bracket. This is, of course, a silly book. It ranks cheeses, beers, speeches in history, dogs, golfers, cartoon characters, and much, much more. For a topic you care about, the bracket is fascinating. For those that you don't, well, pages turn for a reason. The editor invited guest experts to create the brackets, so you're not reading one guy's take on all of these disparate subjects. It gives one lots to argue with, and--if you're like me--a "to do" list of cheeses to try.
Book preview
The Enlightened Bracketologist - Nigel Holmes
The Enlightened Bracketologist
Also by Mark Reiter
What Got You Here Won't Get You There (with Marshall Goldsmith)
The Creative Habit (with Twyla Tharp)
Also by Richard Sandomir
Don't Worry, Stop Sweating...Use Deodorant! (with Rick Wolff)
Life for Real Dummies (with Rick Wolff)
The Joy of Baldness
Bald Like Me
The Enlightened
Bracketologist
The Final Four of Everything
Edited by
Mark Reiter and
Richard Sandomir
Designed by Nigel Holmes
BLOOMSBURY
Copyright © 2007 by Mark Reiter and Richard Sandomir
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
For information address Bloomsbury USA, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.
Published by Bloomsbury USA, New York
Distributed to the trade by Holtzbrinck Publishers
All papers used by Bloomsbury USA are natural, recyclable products made from wood grown in well-managed forests.
The manufacturing processes conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for. style="text-align:
eISBN: 978-1-59691-947-1
Final Four
is a registered trademark of the National Collegiate Athletic Association and is used herein with permission of the NCAA.
First U.S. Edition 2007
3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
Designed and typeset by Nigel Holmes
Printed in the United States of America by RR Donnelley, Crawfordsville
To Griffin Miller,
who will always win the
most important bracket.
—R.S.
To Marie, Nick,
Will, and Hilde.
—M.R.
CONTENTS
Introduction
1 March Madness Moments
by GARY PARRISH
2 Where Were You When Moments
by MARK REITER
3 Animation Characters
by ROZ CHAST
4 Ad Slogans
by PHIL DUSENBERRY
5 Alt-Country Songs
by PETER BLACKSTOCK and GRANT ALDEN
6 American Beers
by MAUREEN OGLE
7 American Plays
by PETER MARKS
8 Bald Guys
by RICHARD SANDOMIR
9 Baseball Myths
by RICHARD LALLY
10 Black-and-White TV Programs
by ROBERT THOMPSON
11 James Bond Gadgets
by LOIS H. GRESH and ROBERT WEINBERG
12 Dodosaurs
by RICK MEYEROWITZ
13 Bob Dylan Cover Songs
by DALTON DELAN
14 Candy Bars
by SCOTT MOWBRAY
15 Mondegreens, or Misheard Lyrics
by MIKKI HALPIN
16 Celebrity Sports Couples
by SELENA ROBERTS
17 CEOs
by JOHN A BYRNE
18 Spokes characters Who Will Shill for Food
by STUART ELLIOTT
19 Cheese
by MAX McCALMAN and DAVID GIBBONS
20 Chick Flicks
by CARRIE GERLACH CECIL
21 Crosswordese
by TYLER HINMAN
22 Classic Comedies
by ROBERTWUHL
23 Conspiracy Theories
by KURT ANDERSEN
24 Corporate Jargon
by STANLEY BING
25 Dogs for the Ages
by CLAUDIA KAWCZYNSKA and CAMERON W OO
26 Marital Arguments
by PHIL LEE and DIANE RUDOLPH
27 Elmore Leonard Novels
by MARK REITER
28 Elvis Costello Songs
by MARK REITER
29 Emoticons
by J. DBIERSDORFER
30 Endangered Species
by CHRISTOPHER L JENKINS
31 Cooking Tools
by BILLYOSSES
32 Economic Indicators
by TIM HARFORD
33 Film Deaths
by MATTHEW SHEPATIN
34 Frank Sinatra Songs
by DAVID McCUNTICK
35 Freshwater and Saltwater Flies
by PETER KAMINSKY
36 Fruit
by NEILAMDUR
37 Game Show Catchphrases
by KEN JENNINGS
38 Sportscaster Signature Calls
by RICHARD SANDOMIR
39 Memorable Speech Lines
by JEFFSHESOL
40 Golf Swing Thoughts
by CHRISTOPHER SMITH
41 Horses for the Ages
by WILLIAM NACK
42 Jock Films
by RICHARD SANDOMIR
43 Guilty Pleasures
by SIMON TREWIN, TOM BROMLEY, and MICHAEL MORAN
44 Guitar Solos
by ALLEN ST. JOHN
45 Hairstyles
by GERSH KUNTZMAN
46 Hip
by JOHNLELAND
47 Indie Rock Albums
by JOHN SELLERS
48 Innovations in Sports
by JAMES BOICE
49 Inventions
by ADI IGNATIUS
50 Investment Strategies
by CLARK WINTER
51 Most Likely to Survive the 21 st Century
by MICHAEL ROGERS
52 Jew/Not a Jew
by MICHAEL SOLOMON
53 Kings and Queens of England
by CLIVEASLET
54 Latin Grammar
by HENRY BEARD
55 Long Songs
by JENSCARSTENSEN
56 Longevity Strategies
by DAVID J. LEFFELL
57 Magical Sports Numbers
by RICHARD SANDOMIR
58 Male Vices
by JOHN ALBERT
59 Meaningless Sports Statistics
by ALLEN ST. JOHN
60 Most Jersey
by TRIS McCALL
61 Mythological Figures
by JAMES C. HOGAN
62 NASCAR Phrases
by JEFF MacGREGOR
63 Newspaper Headlines
by JOHN WALTER
64 Opera Arias (Male)
by NEIL SHICOFF
65 Paul Simon Songs
by LUKE DEMPSEY
66 Perfect Book Titles
by ROBERT S. MILLER
67 Pickup Lines
by EM and LO
68 Punctuation
by JESSE SHEIDLOWER
69 Short Books
by SARA NELSON
70 Plastic Surgery Disasters
by MICHAEL MUSTO
71 Political Blunders of the Last 50 Years
by PAUL SLANSKY
72 Political Hot Buttons
by MO ROCCA
73 Presidential Speeches
by CURT SMITH
74 Priceless Things
by LEILA DUNBAR
75 Rednecks
by ALLISON GLOCK
76 Red Wines
by JOSEPH WARD
77 Rivalries
by WILL BLYTHE
78 Samuel L Jackson Films
by RICK STAEHLING
79 Scrabble Words
by STEFAN FATSIS
80 Sex and the City Wisdom
by SHERRI RIFKIN
81 Shakespeare in Film
by TOMAKSTENS
82 Sidekicks
by STEVEN REDDICLIFFE
83 Simple Things
by HENRY PETROSKI
84 Sins Against the Language
by BENYAGODA
85 Sport/Not a Sport
by BILL SCHEFT
86 Sports Books
by DICK FRIEDMAN
87 Sucker Bets
by RICHARD HOFFER
88 Talk Show Hosts
by BILL CARTER
89 Tell Me Again Why They're Famous
by LARRY AMOROS
90 Troll Models
by ROBERT LIPSYTE
91 TV One-Liners
by MICHAEL DAVIS
92 Typefaces
by NIGEL HOLMES
93 Underdogs
by MARK ST. AM ANT
94 Video Games
by SETH SCHIESEL
95 Wedding Gifts
by MARCY BLUM
96 White Wines
by JOSEPH WARD
97 Women's Magazine Sex Cliches
by STEPHANIE DOLGOFF
98 Women's Undies
by SPANKYVANAKEN
99 Your Boss's Annoying Habits
by MARSHALL GOLDSMITH
100 Yiddish Phrases
by MICHAEL WEX
101 Shakespeare Insults
by LAWRENCE GOODMAN
Coda
Acknowledgments
INTRODUCTION
By Mark Reiter
What is enlightenment?
Better question: What is Bracketology?
Bracketology is a way of seeing the world so that we can become more enlightened—about what we like, favor, prefer, abhor, or abjure. (Bracketology can even help us determine if we prefer the word abhor to abjure.) It is a system that helps us make clearer and cleaner decisions about what is good, better, best in our world.
Let's bring it down to a real-world level.
Has this ever happened to you?
Someone asks you,What's your favorite movie?
Not a deep question, but a probing one, something that comes up occasionally among reasonably curious folk—or men and women on their second date. Your favorite movie is a classic single-question personality profile that reveals
you, an easy-to-apply litmus test that gives folks a snapshot of who you are or think you are or want the world to think you are. Whether that film is Die Hard or Four Weddings and a Funeral or Top Hat or Grand Illusion or Reservoir Dogs or Persona or Groundhog Day, your answer signals your worldliness and sophistication, your sense of humor, and, most particularly, your individuality.
If you're like most people you have a default response that is either The Godfather The Godfather