No Easy Answers: A Book of Life-Changing Questions
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About this ebook
How do I turn my life around? Why can’t I get ahead? What exactly do I need to do to be happy and content in life?
If you’re searching for answers to any of these questions—or dozens of others like them—keep going. You won’t find them in this book. In fact, you won’t find them in any book, because, quite simply, there are no easy answers. You have to work to find them—and the answers are different for each individual.
No Easy Answers is Barry Mangione’s highly personal, profoundly inspirational account of how he transformed his life and went from being depressed, divorced, bankrupt, alcoholic, and on the verge of suicide to being a happy and successful husband, father, artist, and advocate.
He offers his story as a source of hope and guidance, not as a step-by-step process or as the answer or secret to happiness. His story is framed around the questions that helped him transform himself and his life. By asking yourself these questions, you can begin to gain the self-awareness you need to achieve self-improvement.
Emphasizing honesty, responsibility, and personal empowerment, this book helps you ask the questions with which to begin transforming your own life.
Barry Mangione
Barry Mangione has lived a very full, diverse life and has traveled from the pits of despair to the peaks of happiness. Once a struggling alcoholic suffering from depression, failed relationships, bankruptcy, and other personal pitfalls, he now enjoys a life replete with art, aid to others, and promise. A loving husband and proud father, Mangione has many talents and interests. He is a singer, songwriter, musician, martial artist, life coach, physical therapist, and fledgling biohacker. He and his wife firmly believe in the paleo lifestyle, for both physical and mental health. His outreach efforts include volunteer work with the Appalachia Service Project and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. In his self-help book No Easy Answers, he shares his personal success story with readers so that they, too, can achieve personal transformation.
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No Easy Answers - Barry Mangione
INTRODUCTION
There are no secrets
or laws
or rules
in these pages. There are a lot of questions and very few answers. If you came here looking for all the solutions to life’s problems, you came to the wrong place. If you came here looking for questions to lead you to your own answers, you’ve come to the right place.
This book is not a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, addiction treatment programs, or medication. It’s not a cure for anything. If you have problems that require medical attention or psychiatric treatment, please get the help you need. There were many books that helped me on my own personal journey, but they weren’t the only things that helped me. As you’ll find out later in this book, I worked with a therapist, a psychiatrist, a primary care physician, and finally a life coach in order to get to where I am today.
This is not a how-to manual or a step-by-step guide. It’s part autobiography, part self-help book. My mission is to set you up to help yourself by telling you my story and by giving you the questions that gave me the knowledge, experience, and tools I needed to go from suicidal to loving life. The questions in these chapters are intended to shift your thinking and open doors to new possibilities.
I won’t preach to you. I won’t tell you to do exactly what I did or believe everything I say. I’ll simply share the experiences and the questions that changed my life and tell you what worked for me. If something in these pages rings true for you, then by all means, apply it to your life. If it doesn’t, then don’t. Move on to the next chapter, either in this book or in life.
My story is one of recovery, redemption, and reinvention. These stages make up the three main chapters of the book. The questions within the chapters are there to help you navigate your way through the stages, but the questions are only the beginning. What you do with them is up to you. Where you go with them is up to you. Think of them as starting points rather than steps.
You won’t win any prizes for answering the questions correctly. In fact, there are no correct answers. That’s not the point. As I said before, my mission is to set you up to help yourself. My hope is that this book will change your life.
RECOVERY
Recovery is defined as the return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength. For me, recovery wasn’t really about returning to normal. When you find yourself ready to cut your neck open in a parking garage, you have to wonder if your definition of normal
up to that point was really working. The good news for me was that I realized it wasn’t working. Sometimes the biggest problem you can have is not knowing that you have a problem.
Recovery is also defined as the act or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost. Simply put, I had lost control of my life. Think of control as a resource, like gas or food or money. When you’re out of gas, you go to a gas station to get more gas. When you’re out of food, you go to a supermarket or a restaurant to get more food. When you’re out of money, you either go to the bank to get more money or you go to work to make more money. When you’re out of control, where do you go? What do you do? That’s what I had to figure out: not so much how to get my old life back, but how to gain control of myself in a new way in order to build a new life. I didn’t know what that new life would look like, but sure as hell knew I couldn’t go back to the old one. So what do you do when you don’t know the way? You ask for directions. You ask questions.
WHAT AM I THINKING?
Where did these questions come from? At the risk of sounding crazy, the questions in these chapters came from the voice in my head (don’t worry, there’s only one voice in my head, and yes, it’s my voice). We all have an inner voice. It’s the voice that speaks our thoughts to us. Maybe yours is reading this to you right now. Maybe it’s what told you to buy this book. I don’t know what yours is like, but mine never seems to stop talking, even when I try to meditate (sometimes especially when I try to meditate). My inner voice doesn’t believe that less is more. It believes quantity leads to quality. It believes, if it just keeps talking, eventually it’ll say something brilliant, so my inner voice