Bittersweet Diary of Safegirl: Part I of the Midwest Chronicles

Bittersweet: Diary of a Safegirl

Alexis Norwood, Copyright 2010

Published by Sepia Thoughts Publishing at Smashwords

Smashword Edition, Licensing Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without prior consent of the author or publisher, except brief quotes in reviews.

The characters in this novel are a conglomeration of the authors’ imagination, experiences, and observations. So, any similarity to events, people, places, and experiences is purely a coincidence.

Dedication

To all my friends who helped me through my struggles in life.

Book Summary:

Take a trip with Alexis Cherie Norwood in her debut novel as she walks you through the life of Marie Aili b.k.a. Bittersweet from Chicago, Illinois. Marie is an honor student in high school with aspirations to go to college. However, she has her own problems with her mentally ill mother, aging grandfather, and a selfish aunt. Her life changes when she meets up with a young hustler named Keshawn who decides Marie is the one person in the world he loves and trusts. Keshawn is a street smart hustler that has his own problems with his mother forcing him into the game, the dangers that he encounters in the streets, and the people around him that he trusts less and less each day. After meeting Marie, he decides he wants to get out of the game so he enlists the help of Marie and her family, and asks Marie to become his safe girl. Although, Marie doesn't know what this entails she agrees to help Keshawn. This decision will flip Marie's reality upside down and catapult her into a life that she is not prepared to enter. Keshawn tries to protect Marie from the consequences of street life, but that is a promise that he can't really keep. Will Keshawn and Marie end up together or will they succumb to the pressures of the game that threaten to tear them apart?

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 – How it all got started

Chapter 2 – Life gets complicated

Chapter 3 – How I knew I was in love…

Chapter 4 - Making plans to take things to the next level

Chapter 5 – Am I making the right decision

Chapter 6 – Boys can be sweet at times…

Chapter 7 – Boys can also act crazy

Chapter 8 – Not the only one with a crazy dude

Chapter 9 – Breaking up is hard

Chapter 10 – Trying to move forward

Chapter 11 – There is always a surprise

Chapter 12 – Payback

Chapter 13 – Your friends can be your worse enemies

Chapter 14 – Getting pulled back in

Chapter 15 – Taking care of me

Chapter 16 – More drama

Chapter 17 – Realizing who I am with

Chapter 18 – Going crazy

Chapter 19 – Seeing a different side of my friends

Chapter 20 – Back to hustling…

Chapter 21 – Family drama

Chapter 22 – Staying focused

Chapter 23 – Not what it seems

Chapter 24 – Pepa’s dream

Chapter 25 – Second thoughts

Chapter 26 – Tired

Chapter 27 - More friend drama

Chapter 28 – Sneaking out

Chapter 29 – Changing

Chapter 30 – The big day

Acknowledgments

The day has finally arrived. This is the first mini-novella in this series chronicling experiences from the Chicago. I am looking forward to penning more tales soon. Thank you to all of my fans that contacted me via Facebook, my blog, Twitter, and other social networks. If you are reading this book, then you are a testament to my guerilla marketing tactics!

I am glad that you are taking the time to read this book. My hope is that with every line you read you will engage with these characters to understand their human experience, and their never ending struggle to survive.

I want to thank all of my readers and reviewers C. Richardson, T. Wood, Pam Jones, E.Wrenn, M. Truehill, Ayanna Greene, and Niyoki True Blue Yancy.

I would like to especially thank my girl T.O. for encouraging me to get this story down on paper.

To my readers, I look forward to hearing your comments, and suggestions about which characters you would like to hear about next. Love ya!

Chapter 1 – How it all got started

July 30th

Dear Diary,

It’s your girl. I know I haven’t written to you in a minute, but I have to fill you in on what’s happening. It’s been a busy summer. My mom broke up with her Mary Jane smoking boyfriend, because she was tired of him growing cannabis in the shower.

My mom took my sperm donor daddy (as I call him) to court to get child support payments since she’s been out of work for the past few months. Now my mom is sleeping all the time, and laughing to herself like someone is talking to her or telling her a funny joke. When she’s up and around Aunt Dottie and Mom argue over putting granddad into a home permanently.

My best friend Pepa’s legs are open twenty four - seven for any hustler with some cash. I still have a bunch of reading to do to get ready for college, and I’m really starting to get interested in boys. Well, one boy in particular. His name is Keshawn, and he’s the cutest guy I’ve ever seen. He’s chocolate brown, with brown eyes, short faded haircut, and a built body. I know that he likes me, because he’s always watching me in the neighborhood and at school. And whenever I walk past him he says stuff to me like cute and smart. I smile, because I just didn’t expect that a guy that hard would have such a sweet spot for me. You see the thing about Keshawn is that he is a hustler, and straight up I don’t date hustlers! Actually, I don’t have permission to date anyone until I am eighteen, just one of the many rules my momma came up with to prevent me from being a teenage mom. She called it breaking the generational curse. I can understand that, but my problem is that my family wants me to take care of their needs, and I feel like the walls are closing in on me. What’s a girl to do?

So right now, I’m just working toward finishing my last year of high school and applying to college. I’m hoping that I make it despite having so many obstacles to overcome. My mom is always sick or depressed. My granddad always needs my help. Aunt Dottie needs a full-time babysitter. All I want more than anything is to just be loved. I’m not sure that someone my age could give me that kind of comfort, but I’m willing to find out. My body is changing every day, and I don’t have anyone to talk to about my urge to explore sex. I can’t talk to Pepa, because she acts like sex is no big deal. I guess it would be weird for me to talk to anyone in my family about it. I mean I feel like I was running around in pigtails like two years ago, and now my curves are starting to come in and boys are noticing. I went from pigtails, acne, and SpongeBob square hips to full lips and hips, thirty four B’s, with big thighs, and dimpled cheeks that sit on top of a smooth caramel complexion. It’s hard for me to handle all of the attention that I get but some of it’s nice. I like to hear boys compliment me. However, the touching makes me sick to my stomach. I get especially sick when the boys get vulgar and grab my private parts. I have a bad reputation in my neighborhood for pulling out mace, pocket knives, mini-bats, and everything in between to stop dudes from touching me. Very few guys try to touch me without my permission anymore. Every hustler in Chicago from the low end to the wild one hundreds has tried to get at me. I’m not interested in any of them except Keshawn, but I keep this to myself. I mean who would believe that a bookworm, with aspirations to go to college would end up with the neighborhood hustler. No matter how cute he may be. For now though, I will just keep my thoughts between me, my diary, and God.

Signed,

Your girl

Marie Aili

***********

July 31st

Dear Diary,

Today started out as a typical summer day in Chicago. I was taking the bus back from visiting with my friend Karen from elementary school. That was when I ran into Keshawn. He came over to me, and sat next to me on the bus. I couldn’t believe that he did that. He knows how I like to keep to myself, and I don’t like being touched. We don’t even talk that much during school. In fact, any boys who tried to violate me were bucking for a beat down. Besides I think that his mom’s nuts. She’s always around him. They have some kind of weird relationship. He’s almost like her husband or something.

Anyway, I was sitting there thinking about asking my mom to visit with my cousin Cream from St. Louis next summer. The Lou will be a change of climate for me. Chicago is too damn hot in the summer, and people act crazy when it gets hot. Also, the summers in Chicago are all the same. Everybody goes to the Taste, White Parties, and restaurants on the Magnificent Mile, Jazz Festivals in Grant Park, museums, family reunions, and basketball tournaments. It’s always the same! I was trying to keep my mind off the fact I was sitting on the bus with the one guy from my school that I liked.

Keshawn looked at me and decided to try to holla at me. I rolled my eyes and kept reading. Keshawn didn’t stop he kept on whispering in my ear. You just gone ignore me girl? It’s like that? You think that reading Langston Hughes poetry is more interesting than me?

He just continued with a bunch of questions until I answered him. Keshawn I know you see me reading. What do you really want?

Now that I have your attention, I’ll take your phone number. He said.

That is a no and a no. My mom doesn’t allow me to date, and you know that. I said.

I know. I want to be your friend though. So, what’s up? He said.

Can I get back to reading now Keshawn? I am almost done with my book. I said and then looked down at my book.

Aight go back to reading then…although, I think your favorite poem is going to be I too am America. At least that is my favorite poem. I can relate to that shit. He said.

I like that one, but I have other favorites too. Keshawn I see my stop coming up. Man, I will be glad when school starts soon. The faster school starts. The faster I can get out of here. I been thinking about going to college. I said.

He said, I know what you mean.

Before I could say anything, he went off on me.

Don’t look surprised. You know I got school on lock. I’m thinking that I want out the game. When high school is done, I’m outta here and off to college too. He told me.

Keshawn I know you’re smart. You get better grades than me. But I’m surprised about you wanting to go to college. I never heard you say anything about going to school. I said.

Before he could say anything a gangbanger threw a huge rock at the window, and six bangers screamed at the bus driver to stop the bus while they tried to get to Keshawn to pull him out the back door. Keshawn whispered, Stay in your seat.

I don’t know what came over me, but I wanted to protect Keshawn. I was afraid that he was going to get killed trying to protect me. We both knew that. I told the bus driver, Close the doors and call the police!

Keshawn went into panic mode, and told me, That was a bad idea. I’m holding. Damn!

He said a little too loud for my taste. I whispered to Keshawn to tell him to slide everything he had into my bag when I put my book away. He did as I asked. When the police got on the bus I did all of the talking. I began to put on a show. I started crying, and pleading with the officers, Officer my boyfriend was on the bus trying to make sure I made it home safely. Then some gangbangers mistook him for a gangbanger, and tried to kill him.

I was so upset that the officers took the gangbangers to jail, left without questioning Keshawn, and the bus was on its way back on course. When we got off the bus I tried to get away from Keshawn.

He caught up with me. Hold up! If you don’t want to be with me why you help me out?

I don’t want to see you arrested or killed Keshawn. Look, walk me home. I don’t want to hand you back your stuff out in public. I said.

Keshawn walked me home in silence. When we got to my apartment building I handed him back everything, and started up the stairs to my apartment. Keshawn grabbed me and held me around my waist from behind. I didn’t like being touched, but I allowed Keshawn to hold me. It actually felt good.

He talked into my ear, and I listened. Don’t go yet Marie. You’re so smart. I don’t know how you knew how to get out of that situation, but I need you in my corner. I’ve liked you ever since I saw you the first time. I don’t know why you act so hard. I know that you like me too. What’s up? Keshawn continued to hold me.

I shrugged away from him and said, I don’t trust nobody Keshawn. I don’t know why you wanna fuck with me like that. I’m so tired of all of these dudes trying to holla at me. My mom’s right. I’m not ready to be with a boy like that. I stay clear of dudes trying to get in between my legs. Let me go Keshawn, because you know that’s what you’re trying to do.

Keshawn was pissed. You don’t know me like that girl. I’m paid. I can get in between anybody’s legs.

Then go do that Keshawn, and let me go. I gotta get in the house. I have a curfew. I said turning to leave.

"Damn girl why are you so bitter? You're only seventeen years old. What happened to the sweet girl that I used