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    Flight of the Maita Book 35: Odd Couple Out
    Flight of the Maita Book 35: Odd Couple Out
    Flight of the Maita Book 35: Odd Couple Out
    Ebook232 pages3 hours

    Flight of the Maita Book 35: Odd Couple Out

    By CD Moulton

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    About this ebook

    Humorous. Kurk decides to take a vacation and visit his home plane. Thing goes along. Thing decides to make changes in the society there. C'mon, Kurk! You know how Thing is! Thing sees things that it feels need changing on Hades - so it changes them. This is a comedy.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherCD Moulton
    Release dateDec 16, 2014
    ISBN9781311405470
    Flight of the Maita Book 35: Odd Couple Out
    Author

    CD Moulton

    Born in Florida, travelled the world as a rock guitarist with some big names in the late sixties, early seventies. Been everything from a high steel worker to longshoreman, from musician to bar owner, and much more. Educated in botany and genetics. Now living in paradise (Panamá!)

    Read more from Cd Moulton

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      Book preview

      Flight of the Maita Book 35 - CD Moulton

      Flight of the Maita

      Book 35

      Odd Couple Out

      © 1990, 2011 & 2016 by C. D. Moulton

      all rights reserved: no part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, either electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any other information retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright holder/publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

      Critic comment

      This was as funny as anything I’ve ever read. There is a great deal of humor in most of Moulton’s work, but this one is the pinnacle. Definitely. Thing is a delightful character.

      – IA Rtng:*****

      Kurk takes a vacation on Hades, his home world in another planal. Thing goes along.

      C’mon, Kurk! You should know better by now!

      Contents

      Prologue

      Chapter one

      Chapter two

      Chapter three

      Chapter four

      Chapter five

      Chapter six

      Chapter seven

      Chapter eight

      Chapter nine

      Epilogue

      About the author

      CD was born in Lakeland, Florida, in 1938. He is educated in genetics and botany. He has traveled over much of the world, particularly when he was in music as a rock rhythm guitarist with some well-known bands in the late sixties and early seventies. He has worked as a high steel worker and as a longshoreman, clerk, orchidist, bar owner, salvage yard manager and landscaper – among other things.

      CD began writing fiction in 1984 and has more than 300 books published as of 3/15/16 in SciFi, murder, orchid culture and various other fields.

      He now resides in Puerto Armuelles David and Gualaca, Chiriqui, Panamá, where he continues research into epiphytic plants and plays music with friends. He loves the culture of the indigenous people and counts a majority of his closer friends among that group. Several have adopted him as their father. He funds those he can afford through the universities where they have all excelled. The Indios are very intelligent people, they are simply too poor (in material things and money. Culturally, they are very wealthy) to pursue higher education.

      CD loves Panamá and the people, despite horrendous experiences (Free e-book; Fading Paradise). He plans to spend the rest of his life in the paradise that is Panamá

      - Estrelita Suarez V. de Jaramillo – 3/15/2016

      CD is involved in research of natural cancer cure at this time. It has proven effective in all cases, so far. It is based on a plant that has been in use for thousands of years, is safe, available, and cheap. He has studied botany, and was cured of a serious lymphoma with use of the plant, Artemisia annua.

      Information about this cure is free on the FaceBook group, Artemisia Cancer Cure plus. CD asks only that all who try it please report on its effectiveness on that group.

      Odd Couple Out

      Prologue

      Well, that leaves just the four of us here, Z, the Terran member of Emperor Maita's crew, said to Thing and me as we sat on his terrace overlooking the sea on Empire Center (abv. EC). It was as beautiful a spot as could be imagined, having been designed and built by the famous Parf artist, Tous. Z had made changes over the past three centuries, but it was still a magnificent spot on a magnificent world.

      Maita was there in its sensors so was included as one of the four of us.

      You see, Maita is an intelligent spaceship who became emperor, through a strange set of circumstances, with the help of Z, Thing and a few assorted others who have long since died more than three hundred Maitan Galactic Standard (abv. MGS) years ago. It was designed to run things for the old Maitan Empire. It had no choice but to do the job when later events so dictated. A machine does what that machine is designed to do so Maita is resigned to the fact it will have to continue being the Emperor of the Maitan Galactic Empire (I use the whole thing because we all tend to think titles are just silly egocentricities).

      Maita was everywhere on Empire Center in its sensors and was with the rest of the crew during their famous little adventures through the various gravitic floaters Thing rode around on as well as others disguised as different kinds of devices when the situation seemed to demand it.

      The ever-present floaters have, among hundreds of other important functions, circuits for two-way communications, as well as ability to translate Thing's speech or to carry any coms from the other members of the crew such as Tab, Kit, TR and T6 – all robots. They are so often hovering around when we're on EC that we forget they exist, unless we have something to say to someone else or to show them on the holovid screens.

      Note: I tend to use terms that are everyday to me with an assumption you will know what I mean. You can usually figure what they mean through how they're used – I hope. I.e. holovid = Holographic Video Display. – Kurk

      TR and T6 are ships and Tab and Kit are robots who act as detectives with the empire. They were off on a case of their own at that moment. We tend to spend a bit of time together, then to drift off on our own projects. We are very comfortable together and come and go as we please. We get together when we've been away for awhile to brag and lie a little about what we've been doing as very close friends will do.

      Thing is a small empath from the planet Menta. It measures slightly more than half a meter in diameter, is in the form of a squarish globe, has stalked eyes, breathes through membranes (thus can't directly vocalize) and has four tentacles where the rest of the crew have arms and legs. It is amazingly intelligent and able with abstracts, particularly mathematical puzzles, being able to outperform even machines.

      Z, as noted, is a Terran, so looks like a Maitan, which race is familiar to almost everyone in the empire.

      Maita and Thing use speakers to communicate with us organic types. It has speakers everywhere on EC as well as on the other ships and on many floaters.

      Z gave Thing its name when they first met and Maita worked out the vocalization technique still in use. It puts a bell tone before and after its own speech, which Z and the others denote as ( *–* ) in their writings while Thing has a tuning fork sound ( [ – ] ). People on thousands of planets know the tones now because they're used in the newscasts along with the Great Seal of the Emperor of the Maitan Galactic Empire (for Maita). I'll use the same way to identify them when they speak.

      I'm Kurk. I'm from another TTH plane and am what the others fondly describe as their furry horror, having characteristics not shared by general types found here. My planal loci is what is called an angular planal nexus with Terra and some of my race were once called by magic practitioners there, where we ran amok because we tend to resent such kidnappings and garnered rather a violent reputation, so Z (as you will note he is much too prone to do through any narrative concerning the emperor's crew, as we are called) very quickly established that nickname for me. He named Thing because he didn't know what kind of thing it was. It didn't have a name that could be vocalized, so that's been its name ever since.

      I am a bit over two meters in height, shaped generally like Terrans and Maitans (K-form), have quite nice claws, am covered in shiny black fur and my eyes and fine long teeth contain a organo-phosphorus compound that causes them to fluoresce in a greenish color. I'll admit to being rather vain about my perfect teeth. I shock people many places in that I am educated, holding what would be a doctorate in biological sciences here. I guess they tend to think a furry horror should also be ignorant.

      I actually am of a primitive psychologically, but that's a comparative term that’s based on the designator's experiences. I prefer to think of it mostly as a simpler and more direct personality, therefore a more honest one. (That gets us into playing our games, which will be described later.) Z is almost my size as this narrative begins because we were recently on a little adventure where he was disguised as a large barbarian warrior. Maita can change him greatly in the medboxes, so long as the basic form isn't too very different from what he naturally looks like. The barbarian disguise made him larger and bulkier than usual.

      We play silly juvenile jokes on one another all the time. It's an expression of the strong friendship and fondness we all share. We can say and do the most outrageous things and never worry about being misunderstood by one another, though other observers sometimes think we mean to kill each other in the next moment. (I have now described our games, as promised.)

      I haven't ever done much writing. Z and Tab wrote a number of books about our various adventures and Thing wrote one book and will collaborate on much of this one with me. Kit, the other robot detective and both the intelligent ships they use, TRD-60 and T6, have written books, so I guess it's a part of what Maita's crew DOES!

      The way T6 and TR (As we affectionately call TRD-60) handle their writings is to denote which of the people involved are acting by use of marks before the section, one for Tab, two for Kit, three for the ships, etc. I'll use the same system with one mark (~) before the section meaning Thing, two (~~) meaning me and three (~~~) meaning both of us. That way Thing can tell of its own strange experiences in its own way.

      *It'll seem boring to hang around here running the empire. This would be a good time to take a vacation if any of you care to. I think Z would like to go back to that world where we found those orchids in such variety (Z collects those kinds of plants and brings them to EC). You remember how we said we wanted to keep an eye on the native tribes and how we want to be sure the traders don't find the place.*

      I'd like to spend a little time on Hades if that wouldn't be too much trouble, I agreed. I could use the renewal of otherplanal needs. (I have to return now and then so my body can renew things with different planal angular interfaces.)

      *I can take you to Tlorg, then drop to TTH seven and Hades.*

      [ I'd sorta recommend against it. Hades is on six. Frome is on seven. ]

      *Details! It's all the same thing to me! A planal nexus is a planal nexus!*

      [ Could I tag along, Kurk? ]

      Sure! It'd be fun! I replied. Maita can modify a floater to work on Hades for you and you can take that belt translator you wore last trip. It can be modified to work on Hades can't it, Maita?

      *I can build the translator and floater when we're in that plane. The ones built with materials from this plane wouldn't be very efficient there. If Z will come on in with you and get in the medbox I'll change him back to his normal – such as it is – disgusting self.*

      We can decide what we want to do when you get back, Maita. I'll use the box in the caves, Z replied. You guys be careful, okay?

      Z can't go to Hades unless he stays inside Maita or wears a mask, because there's a lot of sulfur in our air – and he can't tolerate it. We wouldn't see him until we got back. He put Thing on his shoulder and we all stepped into the transmat to go to Maita in the caves.

      The trip to Tlorg and thence to Hades, was uneventful. We stopped among some asteroids in the system so Maita could pick up materials to build Thing's several devices, then we went to the planet. Hades is just recently entering the interstellar phase of expansion, so there's a spaceport. Maita opened the portal for Thing and me to go out and said its good fortunes, then left as soon as we were aground. We're all very short on goodbyes and long on hellos.

      Well! Welcome to Hades! I said to Thing.

      It climbed onto my shoulder, its floater moved to hover at its customary meter overhead, it inspected the translator, tried it out and we went aground.

      Chapter one

      ~~~

      There is a great amount of pollution in the air of Hades. It's the result of dirty industrialization and inefficient and careless use of fossil fuels. I'm used to it somewhat, but it had been more than four years since I'd been on the world so it smelled to me. Thing's membranes are quite efficient in taking in only the things it needs and excluding the pollutants. I'm not personally even cognizant of sulfur oxides in the air, which are why Z can't come. In fact, I must have a certain amount of it. Maita manages to supply what I need through other means when I'm not on Hades.

      The most obvious difference I noticed was the smog layer, which was in a bad period. It sits over most major cities. Maita long ago polarized the lenses in Thing's eyes so it could see quite well.

      We are also in an era of tall skyscrapers and buildings with a lot of aluminum alloys and glass (The sulfur in the air means we don't use much aluminum in a pure state) and many bright shiny painted panels. It is extremely noisy when compared to the serenity and quiet of EC and most empire cities. The noise level was almost unbearable, even to me. The young had loud music boxes they carried around trying to out-blare their peers, taxicraft were blatting their horns in a staccato bleat from every crosswalk and corner, people were shouting at one another, newsdealers were shouting the day's lead headlines, a bus was clanging a bell and a group of religious cultists were arguing loudly with some students.

      Well! It smells, looks and sounds like I'm home! I said.

      [ It's exactly like Earth! The only difference I can see is there are a bunch of furry horrors in all sizes where Earth has those disgusting pinkish-skinned things running all around the place! ]

      I hope the noise doesn't bother you, I said.

      [ I can turn my hearing down. It's another advantage I have over you poor fixed-reception types. This is really a very interesting place. I remember how much fun I had on Earth. This is so exactly like it I know there won't be any logic to the way people think and act, even if you hadn't already told me about it. ]

      Let's find us a good hotel, then we'll call on some of my old friends – if they're still around where I can find them, that is, I suggested. Don't pay any attention to the ones who stare at you like they are. You're the strange one here!

      [ I'm considered strange everywhere I've been except Menta. I rather enjoy it, personally. We're the odd couple out in empire society. ]

      We strolled along the sidewalks toward the center of town. I didn't want to take a taxicraft because I wanted to look around and Thing could get a better feel of the place by mingling. We both commented on the variety of things in the shops and superstores. There were fantastic variations of numerous things I had learned through my experiences in the empire were really all the same things in slightly different packages.

      An example was the variety of the music boxes the young were carrying around. There were some hundreds of different brands in the shop windows, ranging in price from six or eight drahms to over two thousand drahms.

      Polis, the name of the city, had a very large diversity (I once thought) of products such as those, because it's a commerce center, seaport and spaceport.

      Thing suggested we go into one of the shops so it could look over the wares a bit. There was immediately a salesperson there to ask if I knew that anything my pet broke I had bought.

      [ I'll try to keep an eye on my pet. I might make it stand outside to wait for me if it's naughty. ]

      She didn't have an answer for that one!

      Thing slipped the pegs off the back of one cheap brand of music box and peered inside, then did the same with an expensive model.

      [ I see that they're both simple diode-driven transistorized disparate induction devices. They even contain identical components that were manufactured by the same supplier, so why is this one nine drahms four decis while this one is seven hundred drahms and a quarter? ]

      The first-quality encasement of the Peak model, the vastly improved styling and the better quality of sound reproduction should be obvious to anyone, the salesperson sniffed.

      [ This one's got a white plastic case while this one's more greyish black. I see. The corners on the white one are smoothed and rounded while those on the black are a bit blunter. There's no way you can tell any difference in the sound quality. ]

      The Peak model is high fidelity, she said haughtily. "It carries a flat response, without distortion, from ten cycles to forty four thousand cycles. The Standard model's range is only from sixteen cycles to twenty four thousand cycles!"

      [ It doesn't matter that you can only hear from twenty four cycles to eighteen thousand eight hundred? ]

      I couldn't help it. I laughed out loud.

      [ See? I told you this would be fun! No logic or reason at all! It's exactly like Earth! It would be scary if I didn't know the basis for the society and the psychology. ]

      Earth? The barking-demon land? The place actually exists? the salesperson asked, shocked.

      I'm Kurk and this is Thing, I replied. "I would think everyone should know about the planal interface travel. I'm the ambassador-at-large to the Maitan Empire in another plane. Thing is ambassador from Menta, a world in that plane.

      I've been on hundreds of worlds. Tlorg is very real, as we all know by now. Earth, Mundo and Terra are all the same world and one of my closest friends is from there. He's a demon exactly like those in legends, but he doesn't bark. They can't stand the sulfur in our air. We're the demons there. I'm called the empire's furry horror.

      The empire people are like, er, Thing? she asked.

      [ No. Most are very different. I'm considered strange, even in the empire. ]

      We're primarily here for a vacation. I want to show Thing around Hades, I said. It noticed the variety of products that are really all the same thing and wanted to know the object behind the silliness.

      [ I know the object. Make a few Drahms by fooling the people. Use psychological ploys to make them purchase the most expensive items, even though they're the same as the cheap ones. It's exactly like Earth! Ninety six point four oh four two percent of everything you do here is wasted. Interesting. ]

      We were about to get into a silly argument I didn't want to listen to, so I said we'd move on so

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