Ninja or Pirate: Versus the Sky Pirates

Mortimer Aglet Versus the sky Pirates

The World of Adventure Series: Book 1

Written and Illustrated by

Brian Dawson

Edited by

Alicia DiQuattro

and

Natalie Dawson

Cover by

Alicia DiQuattro

Copyright 2014 © Brian Dawson

Prologue

My grandfather Blackbeard, the famous swashbuckling pirate, once told me that there is a place where all the risks and dreams of those too nervous or scared to take chances end up.

That place is called the world of adventure. According to him, it also happens to be the very same world where I am writing these very words on this very paper.

My parents, on the other hand, have always stood firm against this theory. They have no problem going against what they called my crazy grandfather's crazy delusional mind.

I've always found their stance a bit hypocritical since my father, Grimash Top Hat, is currently the top pirate running in the Seventy-Sixth Pants-on-Fire Pilfer Contest.

My mother doesn't believe him either but has no trouble indulging me. I know this because as a ninja she always keeps her enemy in the dark about the truth so she can defeat them.

Ninja are known to be deceitful, but pirates live by their own code of ethics as straightforward aquatic thieves and adventurers. Both agree you should obey the authority when it's in your best interest, but only when it's in your best interest. They let the public see their adventurous spirit and hide their true motives.

My father, Grimash, is known far and wide as the gentleman pirate, which is likely what attracted my mother to him in the first place. He has a grace and charm that is extremely rare among pirates.

My parents love to tell the romantic story of how they first met. My mother was contracted to steal something off his ship and ended up having to hide in his cabin for five months. During that time my father became extremely seasick. After observing his suffering she left the shadows and nursed him back to health using her special ninja remedy for sea sickness; squid soup and bed rest.

To this day my father will not eat any food that has squid in it because the only thing that tastes worse than squid soup going down is squid soup coming back up.

My mother, Jade Shadow Claw, is the daughter of the infamous ninja leader Great Wolf Shadow, who is, or was, the leader of the Secret Council of Secrets.

Mom spends most of her time these days on politics rather than going out on mysterious ninja missions. She rarely leaves the island and even more rarely has time for me. When Mom does find the time, she teaches me not to be seen or heard. It's all mysterious ninja stuff, but you can imagine that during our lessons, there is very little conversation.

My father, on the other hand, is always on his ship. He sleeps there most nights, yet he still squeezes in time on land to spend with me. When he returns, he always brings me some new trinket he plundered and forces me to learn every nautical knot he can think up, some I know are not even real. He also keeps me updated on any new pirate slang. My father wants to be sure I am current on what it means to be a pirate while also making sure my grandmother is not making me soft.

I currently live with my grandmother who takes very good care of me.

Most of the time she spends with me, she teaches me the basic things she says I need to know. Math, Language, and something she calls the forgotten art of Science Facts.

My grandmother, Nana Bootsie, has one goal for me. She wants me to become a banker. She dreams I will end up nothing like either of my parents who she calls, mostly useful for useless things. She says I must grow up to be useful.

My name is Mortimer Aglet.

I have not yet earned a shadowy ninja or dreadful pirate name. Up to this point, I've never done anything worth scribbling on paper.

This may seem odd as I have lived my entire life isolated on Skull Shuriken Island, the single place in the universe where ninja and pirates attempt to live together... I don't want to say happily, but they do have an in-depth and complicated set of rules to make sure both sides are treated fairly within their own unique codes of ethics.

Pirates believe firmly in Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers. Ninja have a more If Nobody Saw It Happen, Then It Didn't Happen policy.

Tomorrow, I will be expected to choose between pirate or ninja school, like I can just flip a coin and decide my entire future! Up until now, all of we pre-adventure aged kids are expected to be taught by our parents or paid tutors.

I'll either be joining a junior pirate crew in training at the Cutless Academy, or I'll be part of a stealth trainee squad at the Misty Palm School of Vanishing Knowledge.

At nine in the morning tomorrow, I'll be expected to walk out of my room and say, Oh hey, Nana Bootsie, I want to follow in either my mother's or my father's footsteps. How do I choose?

Anyway, to make the tiring and painstaking decision process easy, I plan to try and do both.

I, Mortimer Aglet, the first of my name, plan to become Skull Shuriken Island's very fist Ninja-Pirate!

I figure I can have my own ninja-pirate crew and we can travel the seas plundering all pirate-like but using our finely tuned ninja skills. First and foremost, I have to make it past the difficult and often confusing training.

So tomorrow I head right to the Cutless Academy and prove myself a mighty pirate. Then, luckily for me, the Misty Palm School of Vanishing Knowledge holds its classes at night because, well, you know... that's when ninja do their ninja stuff. It would not do any good to tell a ninja to hide in the shadows at high noon.

Epoch Log: Entry One

Mortimer Aglet

Chapter 1 - Why Am I Late?

The Legendary Pirate Blackbeard often said that when he started in piracy all he did was pull his ship into port, go into the nearest grog dive, and call for the lowest of men down on their luck to join his crew. He said you wouldn't have a high quality crew, but you would have a crew capable of following orders and getting the job done. He said this was long before the Pirate Code and Skull Shuriken Island was founded. The only rule pirates lived by back then was, The only difference between right and wrong is the price.

The legends and stories of Blackbeard have been around so long that most pirates are sure Mortimer's grandfather is just the latest pretender. They claim he stole the name in order to carry on the legacy of the larger than life pirate. When Mortimer was very young, he questioned his Grandfather about this and Blackbeard assured him that he was the original and was much older than he would ever admit.

Despite the doubts, half the pirate world treats Mortimer's entire family as if they have pirate royalty in their blood. The other half just assume they are a bunch of liars who stole a famous name and continue to ride its coat tails... not much differently from how all pirates treat each other.

That morning, Mortimer trudged down from his room in his grandmother's small house to find she had made him his favorite breakfast: plum and banana pancakes with crab bacon and a large harpy egg smoothie.

It may sound strange to you, but when you live on a remote island with limited resources, you have to make do with whatever you have between hauls of treasure. A few times a year, traders visit the island. Visit meaning they land on the island by mistake or crash and leave with an empty ship and a blank memory thanks to a secret ninja technique.

Since this was Mortimer's favorite meal, he took his time and enjoyed it.

My first day of school! I don't have to spend all day every day with my loveable but sanity-challenged grandmother anymore! Mortimer thought as he looked at the old woman who seemed to be frantically going from cabinet to cabinet as if she had forgotten where she kept the salt.

Mortimer lost track of time over his breakfast and realized he was running late for his first day at the Cutless Academy. He stuffed the bacon in his mouth and gulped down his egg smoothie, doing his best not to lose any on the way down. Then he felt Nana Bootsie put a hand on his shoulder.

What's the rush, young man? said his Nana in a soft tone, You have plenty of time to continue your studies today. She dropped the largest book Mortimer's family owned on the table in front of him causing the dishes to rattle loudly from the impact.

Nana, did you forget? I start at Cutless Academy today, he said with a hint of panic in his voice.

She left her hand on his shoulder and said sadly, You have plenty of years to sail around with sharp objects and drunken scalawags. This is a time of learning. We need a banker in this family; a strong young man who has a head for where his riches are going. We do not need another pirate who squanders all his plunder on knickknacks and wenches at every port between here and the main lands, Nana Bootsie said as if scoffing at someone who was not in the room.

What are wenches? Mortimer asked, looking to his grandmother who shrugged off the question with a wave of her hand.

Mortimer took a moment to look down at the thick book with huge gold letters embossed on the green cover. Science Facts was written simply in neat sharp characters. He had spent much of his life so far learning exclusively from this book and the very sight of it made him feel deeply frustrated.

It's time for me to learn the ways of my father and grandfathers, Nana, Mortimer said, turning to match his grandmother's gaze. Tears rimmed her eyes as her old face began to wrinkle. She pulled Mortimer up to his feet and looked right into him. She stood four-foot-nine at her full height, but age had brought a slight slouch to her stance. They were practically the same height. Mortimer even suspected that he might be taller than her, but her bright silver hair was done up in such a fashion as to add at least a foot to her full height. This was strange for Mortimer because it seemed as he grew so did his Nana's hair. He thought that ever since he began to approach her height, she felt she needed to use her hair as a way of reminding him who was in charge. It was not always done up in this fashion, but when it was, Mortimer always felt cheated by the sheer largeness of it as it towered over him.

I know kids are supposed to grow fast, but how can I compete with an ever extending hair monster like that! Mortimer thought. He realized his Grandmother was really about to start crying hard. She leaned in and gave Mortimer a long hug. Mortimer just stood there feeling an odd sense of guilt on what was supposed to be the exciting day he started his journey towards manhood.

Just because you are going to start your training today does not mean you can forget everything I taught you over the years. Those facts can save your life, so be smart and never forget to flex your brain as much as your biceps, Nana Bootsie shot Mortimer a big smile. Then, like a practiced magician, she pulled a brown object from behind her back and presented it to Mortimer. This was your grandfather's, she said handing Mortimer an oversized brown pirate hat.

Wow! Thanks, Nana! Mortimer shouted with excitement as he put the hat on and stood proudly turning his head.

Nobody else will be able to show up wearing Blackbeard's own hat, she said as she whirled Mortimer around by the shirt and opened the front door.

Now get out! She said as she tossed Mortimer through the doorway. It was a light push but it stole Mortimer's balance and he stumbled clumsily onto the wooden walkway outside.

After regaining his balance Mortimer paused and looked in the direction of the Cutless Academy. There was a loud BOOM! As cannon fire rang out in the distance. Mortimer realized that sound meant he was late. He ran as fast as he could. Being late was not the way Mortimer wanted to start his first day, but he guessed it would be worth it to show up in Blackbeard's own hat.

You ain't gett'n en! said the large man wearing white pants with tattered ankles. The tattoos all over his upper body looked like someone had drawn a shirt on him. His right arm was missing from the elbow down and his right leg below the knee had been replaced with a peg. It did not take him long to notice Mortimer staring at his missing extremities.

This is no freak show, boy! said the door guard harshly. YE BE LATE to the Cutless Academy and nobody gets into the Academy once'n the doors be closed for the day. Come back tomorrow for a repeat class and public flogging in front of ye crew. The large man let out a laugh as he pointed back in the direction Mortimer had come from and said, Off with you now ye young'un. He waved Mortimer off with the back of his hand.

Mortimer hung his head in shame knowing the ridicule he would receive the next day from the other young pirates and the reputation he would have after his public punishment.

Mortimer Aglet the LATE, he said to himself. Mortimer walked around the corner and back up the long pathway that led toward his home, when suddenly he felt the sudden urge to jump out of the way of something. He wasn't sure what he was jumping away from, but you don't ignore those instincts when you have ninja blood in you.

Sticking out of the wooden walkway right where Mortimer had just been standing was a shuriken with a note attached to it, the word Egghead was written in bold letters on the outside of the rolled up paper.

The note said: Remember, you are much more than a simple pirate.

When Mortimer finished reading the note it vanished in a puff of smoke and in his hands were a strange-looking pair of gloves with two rows of sharp spikes that faced out and surrounded the palm area.

He turned the gloves over, admiring them in all directions, but he did not see the purpose of this gift, except maybe to give gate guard a very painful handshake. He put the gloves on his hands and rested his hand on the wooden railing as he looked out at the ocean to think, admiring the amazing early morning view.

Only as he tried to continue his sad journey home did the purpose of the mysterious gift become clear because he couldn't remove his hand from the railing! After some grunting and pulling he found that he could remove his spiked hands from the rail by twisting his wrists just right. He realized he could use the gloves to sneak into the Cutless Academy and act like he had been there the whole time.

Thanks, invisible gift giver! Mortimer shouted loudly into the air. His day was no longer ruined. He could make it to the first day of class and nobody would be the wiser, besides, if he got caught sneaking in he would just say he was looking for the privy.

Mortimer headed back towards Cutless Academy at full speed, though being careful not to be seen by any large tattooed guards. Why are there guards anyway? It's just a training school, Mortimer thought to himself as he searched for the best place to begin his ascent over the walls and into the academy.

ARG! We have fresh blood this year! said the salty old pirate who was standing on a stage in front of eleven scraggly looking young pirates in training.

Before we continue, let's call roll and make sure all those entrusted to us be here. We wouldn't want to deprive anyone of the privileges that come with missing the first day of pirate training, the big-bellied man with no hair said to the small crowd. He spoke much louder than was required and many of the children gave him sour looks as they placed their hands over their ears. At this, an older looking child let out a cackle of laughter as the smaller and younger ones in the group looked to one another worriedly. They realized they would be the focus of the older boy's torment as his evil gaze surveyed his new shipmates-in-training.

Thomas Yelper. Be ye here, Tom? Wailed the old pirate. Here! cried the shortest and smallest child in the group in his loudest, but still very small, voice. His hand was raised above his curly, bright red hair.

An older boy with red scars covering the bald right half of his head cackled as he pointed to the small boy and whispered something to a younger but taller boy standing next to him.

The old pirate continued, pretending not to notice the half-bald boy and his bothersome antics. Whoopie Belche?

Here! yelled a tall slender girl with long wavy blond hair and blue eyes.

The half-bald boy leaned to the same friend and this time said something that caused the taller boy's face to turn bright red.

ARG! Keep your hole shut, Qball, said the old pirate on the stage as he leered in the direction of the half-bald boy. The boy avoided eye contact and looked in all directions, pretending to have no idea what his instructor could possibly be talking about.

We have one more new bilge rat this year. He is the grandson of the supposed legendary famous pirate Blackbeard. Mortimer Aglet! Are you here, Mortimer?

The old man scanned the group for Mortimer while the children looked to one another, waiting for someone to call out as their instructor's gaze bored into each of them uncomfortably.

Don't be shy, lad! Are you here? Asked the old pirate once again as the group of young pirates began whispering to each other.

Then a loud cry broke through the quiet murmurings. Here! screamed Mortimer with all his might. The shout came from high above the group on an obstacle course set up for pirate training. The entire class shifted their gaze up to see the figure of Mortimer Aglet high above them. He was grasping a rope in his hand ready to swing down to the group below. Though he tried his best to ooze confidence, he felt like he was about to lose his breakfast as he readied himself for the leap. Using the climbing gloves had been more tiring than he expected and his hands hurt. Though his heart was pounding out of his chest, he still found the experience exhilarating and it put him in just the right mood to show off while making a grand entrance.

The old pirate's face went red with anger and his arms waved furiously as he yelled up to Mortimer, Get down here now or I will declare you late and the next thing we will do is enjoy a nice public flogging!

Here goes nothing, Mortimer thought as he swallowed the large lump in his throat. He grasped the rope tightly and leaped from the scaffold-like structure. Gravity took hold and he was free falling until the slack of the rope jerked tight. He swung within six feet of the ground, wishing he had worn the climbing gloves since grip was failing him. He fell the remaining distance.

But luck was with Mortimer as he was above a pool of seawater commonly used for aquatic exercises and swimming lessons. The water was extremely cold due to the early hour. A very wet and very cold Mortimer remembered with panic that he was not a strong swimmer. He struggled to keep his head above water as his limbs began to go numb from the cold. The old pirate reached out and, with one beefy arm, plucked Mortimer out of the water and placed him, soaking wet, in front of his leering and unimpressed peers.

ARG! Now that we got that out of the way, the old man shouted out for all to hear, Let me introduce meself. ARG! I am Steelgut Madgu and I will be your Deck Master. Your time here will be full of hard work and sweat. I aim to make you so tired that the thought of doing anything but going home and straight to bed after your training each day will make your head too heavy to lift off your wee pillows.

The group looked to one another in a collective bit of confusion. Steelgut ignored the air of confusion and announced, We are going to learn the first and most important and thing any pirate needs to know.

The group instantly and collectively began to shout out their personal opinion of the most important lesson for a starting pirate. Swordplay! was repeated most, but some children yelled Parrot care! or Tattoo placement!

The old pirate put out his hands to quiet the young group and stuck a finger in the air as he shouted, ARG!

The group was silent. The young pirates in training all stood staring, waiting for the old sea dog to continue.

If you're going to sail the seas as a pirate, then you need to sound like a pirate. Before you say anything else I want to hear each of you let out your best ARG! Steelgut said as he assumed a victorious stance with one fist in the air.

The group looked to one another, each too embarrassed to let out a squeak, when suddenly the smallest girl of the group, wearing a red bandana and orange striped shirt, jumped into the air and let out a loud, ARG!

The rest of the group yelled their ARGs in turn, many with very little emphasis or spirit behind the word. When they had finished the students quieted down and looked around in confusion. Steelgut had vanished as quickly and skillfully as he could ARG.

Where did the old dog run off to?! said the half-bald boy.

ARG! Behind you!

The young pirate leaped aside in fear and turned even paler.

Now all ye understand the importance of a PROPER ARG! Steelgut proclaimed, glaring around at the young pirates to make sure everyone was listening. A true 'ARG!' can be the turn of the tides in a battle. It can save yer sorry lives! Don't you be forgett'n it." Steelgut enforced his point using his pirate glare. The group of young pirates all nodded and mumbled sounds of agreement.

Last year, you said it was YAR! the scarred, bald, extremely pale boy shouted.

That will be enough out of you! Steelgut shot back at the pale boy with a threatening look in his eyes.

"Now fur the next most important thing every new cabin boy or girl needs know. Yur arms'll be ready to fall off, yur legs'll ache and strain, you'll do this so much you will do it in all your dreams! Today