How to Raise 'Kids' Right
By Jack Exum
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About this ebook
Parenting is more OJT (on the job training), since children are different, and so are parents. New parents tend to use the same rules, and repeat the same patterns (good or bad), in raising ‘kids.’ This is not always the case though, especially when coming from an abusive home. Sometimes you find a shift to the extreme where there is little correction and too much permissiveness. EXTREMES NEED TO BE AVOIDED and ‘balance’ needs to be found in “Raising ‘Kids’ Right.”
Parenting can be frustrating at best, and challenges the best of parents, as children go through the different stages of growing up. Frustration causes us to lose sight of the ‘end game,’ and we read book after book, go to counselor after counselor, looking for help, only to be more discouraged by the feelings of being out of control. “YouTube,” is replete with funny (?) videos of children bossing and disrespecting their parents, when in reality, it is truly SAD!
“How to Raise ‘Kids’ Right,” presents a down to earth, Bible-based, practical, workable, and BALANCED plan to raise children. It is a breath of fresh air and will be a blessing to all who read and put the principles into practice consistently. You can rest assured that these principles will result in a home where you as a parent feel more in control, and children are happier. You will still have challenges, but the generational gap doesn’t have to get bigger by the day.
Times have changed, schools and government are becoming more intrusive... but the principles on “How to Raise ‘Kids’ Right,” have stood the test of time, and will bless you and your family.
The author’s unique way of communicating and reaching out through the ‘printed page’ as he shares his own experiences growing up as well as experiences shared in raising us ‘kids,’ will bring a ‘light at the end of the tunnel,’ as you strive to “Raise (your) ‘Kids’ Right.”
Jack Exum
Redeemed and added to the body of Christ, May 31, 1959 at Southside Church of Christ, Beaumont, Texas. Graduated from Preston Road School of Preaching, Dallas, Texas, 1971. I ministered to congregations in Georgia, Saskatchewan, Canada, Indiana, Ukraine, and Florida. After the passing of my brother Robert Exum January 25,2016, my wife and I moved to begin work with the West Keene Church of CHrist in Keene, New Hampshire. I am a committed Christian, happily married to my wife Lauw Liang (Wiwik), from Indonesia. Together, we seek only to grow, and serve together in His grace, so freely given in Jesus. (Mailing address: 69 Blossom Street, Keene, NH., 03431.) Purpose and Philosophy statements: * To reach out to and encourage the body of Christ. Not only by publishing books by dad (Jack Exum), and eventually my own, but also dad's and my own studies on www.jackexum.com. I strive for BALANCE, avoiding EXTREMES, LEGALISM and LABELS which have contributed to division and sectarianism in the church. Growing in faith, hope, and love, unity of the Spirit in the bonds of peace, and being true to the Gospel of Christ, is 'where we stand.' My prayer is that we grow in grace, and learn to accept each other, being patient with those who question, or differ, while being 'Heaven bound' together. * To reach the lost. This is the mission of Jesus. Everyone deserves the privilege to hear about Jesus at least once. There is ONE God, and he loves you INCREDIBLY, There is ONE Savior, who gave His all that we might belong to Him forever, and ONE faith given to be shared in the power of His Spirit. There is ONE body to which all believers are added (Acts 2:38-47). That body has no official name in the New Testament but has several designations which describe relationship, with God, Christ, and each other. * To hold to restoration principles: 1. “No Creed but Christ.” (Written creeds, and traditions are not authoritative). 2. “Where the Scriptures speak, we speak; where the Scriptures are silent, we are silent.” 3. “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, love.” 4. “We are not the only Christians, but we are Christians only.” Allow the Lord to deal with the 'weeds.' * We understand what the Bible teaches about being saved. One "must be born of water and the Spirit" (John 3:3-5). For more on this read Acts 2. However, now everyone who obeys the gospel of grace will be found in a congregation with the 'acceptable name.' God knows all that are His. Whoever does what early Christians did to be saved, is my brother and sister in Christ. I let God do the judging, I have 'my plate full,' working on my own sinfulness, and growing in grace, while encouraging others to do the same. Grow in grace! Heaven bound!
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How to Raise 'Kids' Right - Jack Exum
Dedication
This book is dedicated to
Lucy and Lacy Elrod,
who shared their lives with me when I needed them most.
Contents
Dedication
Foreword
Seasons: (An Introduction To An Old Life-Style)
— * Three Principles Of Child-Raising * —
— TEACH —
Old Testament Pattern
There Are Three Ways We Teach
Mind Me
Ornaments And Chains
What Will Your Children Remember?
Power Of Influence
Daddy Was A Male
I Knew Abraham
This Is My Father’s Business
Train Up A Child
Patience
— DISCIPLINE —
The Principle Of Law
Four Effects Of Law
Discipline VS. Punishment
Clay
He’s My Judge Already
Daily Discipline
Discipline MUST Be Based On Truth
Reverence And Correction
Afterwards
Words Are Not Discipline
A Brief Look Back
Elrod
Death And Discipline
Alma Mater
Spare The Rod And Spoil The Child
Time To Remember Again
— AUTHORITY —
Children Obey
Authority
Elders-Shepherds
Authority Of Parents
Marry A Believer
The Promised Blessing
Good Conscience, Good Confidence, And Good Confession
Teaching – Discipline – Authority
Honor
Take The Test
Authority! How To Delegate It
Whatever Did Happen To Baby Jane?
Is the Way Long?
National Survey
The Tragedy Of A Lost Soul
How To Begin Again
— A F T E R G L O W
—
Collection Of Old And Odd Sayings
Some Final Thoughts From Grateful Sons And Daughters
Author’s Note
Foreword
Here I am, 50 years old, propped up in a king-size motel room bed, and beginning to write a simple yet complex book. The husband of one wife for 31 years, the father of six children, ranging from 14 to 29, willing to brave the scoffs and jeers of readers who would pay good money, to see what fool, young or old, would be so bold as to scribble down instructions on such a subject.
My formal education is limited to a couple of years of college work, having been one of four who received a D.D.D.
I received my Associate in Arts, (I made straight D’s.) During those years, I learned mostly golf and tennis.
Tennis champ of 1948, which most everyone forgot before graduation and half owner of a 1931 Chevy (Ann, the girl to whom I was engaged, owned the other half) and absolutely deliriously in love, I moved in the direction of this very moment and the beginning of this book.
Would you believe that was many dates, one wedding, eight children (six living plus two that died at birth), 11,040 days, 264,760 hours, 15,897,600 minutes and more seconds than you can count-AGO!
Now, having visited the homes of some 100,000 (people from all over the earth) and having experienced some success and some failure at the job of parenting kids, and now investing time and heart in 5 growing grandchildren, I boldly pick up the pen to share with you these simple yet marvelous principles of Raising Kids Right.
Do not judge the book by its simplicity. These Law-Principles, easily recorded on paper are truly the lifeblood of each generation. Laws regulate our actions, and principles are elastic and can fit every different and unique situation. While only a fool would try to tell others how to raise their kids in specific terms, these Law-Principles
form the peripheral edge that ‘houses’ the kids who make it, the ones we all admire.
So, please do not take this book lightly. There are no references to look up, no authority quoted (except the Word of God), no credits given; for this simple philosophy was given to me by my mother and father, the Elrods and others, who lived it, and taught it and only ask that we, in turn, would pass it on to others.
Read it – enjoy it – and pass it on.
— Jack Exum
Seasons: (An Introduction To An Old Life-Style)
There were special times in each year that we would observe unusual games. All equipment was homemade. All junk was potential equipment. Burlap sacks and sawdust made great bases for baseball. Palmetto stalks, newspaper, string, flour-paste were turned into kites. Wheels (of all descriptions) were always at a premium. Odd pieces of wood were fashioned into stocks and barrels for our rubber gun arsenals. We built an anti-aircraft
gun that required 56 strands of car inner-tube rubber for one shot. It hit my brother and knocked him down.
As the ‘original hoarders’ nothing was ever thrown away. We traded anything of value and we valued everything. We used caster bean stalks (hallow in the middle) to blow a beanie
in a futile effort to put somebody’s eye out. We pumped
old tires up and down the driveway, pretending to be trucks, cars and motorcycles. During thunderstorms, we would gather in the open garage and take turns running out to the street and back, to see who would be ‘struck’ by the lightning first. No one was, and we all felt a little disappointed. We seemed to survive by the ‘direct intervention’ of grace.
We sat on the steps and played Mine’s Next,
meaning whatever car came into view would belong to the claimant. Occasionally a 1936 Desoto (streamlined and ultra modem) would make an appearance and the new owner
would dance and shout his pretended victory. To us, life was just fun.
It was a special gift. Everything that happened, whether good or bad seemed to have some humor tucked away somewhere.
One of our most precious possessions was a bag of marbles. I remember one kid at school that had 1,142 marbles by actual count. The argument of whether it would be round ring
or square ring,
was soon settled and the ‘antes’ were agreed too. We always played for keeps
unless a teacher, or principal or our parents were nearby. Every game was an earth-shattering event. The new marble seasons always had a few new wrinkles. No fudging,
no flipping,
no hiking,
no trenching,
no bee-bee’s
(replacing a marble with a bee-bee when an opponent was about to do you in). Further-more, we declared, no steelies,
(use of a heavy steel ball when being shot out of the ring), and if one was in any way accused of cheatin,’ it always resembled an Old West saloon when two card players were about to draw on each other.
You did!
‘I didn’t!
You did!
I didn’t!"
Spit across that line!
(Drawn in the ground with the big toe of the one least scared.) Then came the scuffle, the cheers, a few childlike punches, and the game resumed with one new player and one yelling, I’m gonna tell my mama on you.
Today, if a youngster swallows a nickel, (the emergency number) 9-1-1, is called, doctors alerted, operating rooms prepared, just in case the stomach pump fails or the delicate surgical fishing tools
are inadequate. We, on the other hand, just waited a day or two and ‘searched’ till we found it! After all a nickel would buy 10 packs of Kits
(squares of individually wrapped candy) and each one had seven pieces in it! That’s 70 pieces for 5 cents, and with such a wealth at stake, any effort was worth the price.
Then came Yo-Yo
time. The Duncan representative appeared on the school grounds and with his magic (working a Yo-Yo in each hand); we would trade rubber guns, kites, wheels, almost anything for a genuine Duncan.
We liked the one with a cut of colored glass in the center. Some models whined,
others would reflect an array of sparkling designs as they made their circular spin. We struggled to out-do the others and be the best.
With our Yo-Yo,
we could walked the doggie,
do