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    Tips from Widows
    Tips from Widows
    Tips from Widows
    Ebook70 pages28 minutes

    Tips from Widows

    By Jan Robinson

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    About this ebook

    'This is a wonderful, beautiful little book. It is like a quiet, wise friend, full of comfort and practical counsel, when your world has collapsed or changed beyond recognition. It is like a crib sheet of how to cope; it is as helpful to friends of widows as to the widows themselves, and it is written from experience, which is the bedrock of reliable advice' Joanna Lumley

    When Jan Robinson's husband died suddenly and unexpectedly, she had the idea of asking any other widows, whenever and wherever she met them, for two tips about how to deal with widowhood – anything that came to mind, whether it was what to do or what not to do, however seemingly unimportant. That is how Tips from Widows started.

    Grief is an unmanageable emotion and the form it takes is unique to every woman whose husband or partner has died. There are no set rules about coping with loss. Some people struggle with it for years and maybe never get over it. Others manage to move on. This book makes no claim to be an authority on how to cope as a widow, nor does it set out to offer a thorough analysis of widowhood. It is, quite simply, tips from widows. You may be alone in your boat on the ocean, but Tips from Widows will help you to recognise that other boats are out there too.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBloomsbury Publishing
    Release dateFeb 12, 2015
    ISBN9781408865545
    Tips from Widows
    Author

    Jan Robinson

    Jan Robinson began collecting advice from widows after her husband died. Six months later, she decided to turn this into a book and sell it through her website. She has four children, seven grandchildren and lives in London. www.tipsfromwidows.co.uk

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      Book preview

      Tips from Widows - Jan Robinson

      Tips From Widows

      Jan Robinson

      In memory of my husband, Tony

      Contents

      Foreword by Joanna Lumley

      Preface

      Part I Before he dies

      Money I

      Part II When he dies

      Funeral director

      Registrar

      Funeral

      Dressing for mourning

      Letter writing

      Afterlife

      Accountants

      Part III The months after he dies

      Other people’s reactions

      Children

      Grandchildren

      Crying

      Flashbacks

      Absentmindedness

      Alcohol and pills

      Psychological higher education

      Anger

      Guilt

      House and home

      Household responsibilities

      Emergencies

      Money II

      Practicalities

      Walking

      Going alone

      Miscellaneous thoughts and maxims

      You

      Part IV The years after he dies

      Consolations

      Habits

      Merry husbands

      Merry widows

      A practical approach to death

      Appendix

      Gifts

      Joint bank accounts

      Your accountant

      Acknowledgements

      Poems

      Remember Me

      Ode: Intimations of Immortality

      A note on the author

      Foreword

      This is a wonderful, beautiful little book.

      It is like a quiet wise friend, full of comfort and practical counsel, when your world has collapsed or changed beyond recognition.

      It is like a crib sheet of how to cope; it is as helpful to friends of widows as to the widows themselves, and it is written from experience, which is the bedrock of reliable advice.

      Joanna Lumley

      Preface

      This book makes no claim to be an authority on how to cope as a widow, nor does it set out to offer a thorough analysis of widowhood. It is, quite simply, tips from widows. No book can cover the needs of widows of any age. Grief is an unmanageable emotion and the form it takes is unique to every woman whose husband or partner has died.

      Three weeks before my husband died suddenly and quite unexpectedly, I had answered an invitation to a lunch party being held for a widow who was marrying again at the age of seventy. When the time came I dilly-dallied as to whether I could cope with going. I took courage and went. I knew only a few of the fifteen women (not all of whom were widows) there, and after a few minutes seated next to a woman I had not met before, she told me that she had been a widow for five years. I said, ‘I’ve never been a widow before. Please give me a few tips.’ She did. That is how this book started. At the back of this little volume I have listed the names of all the widows who have contributed their thoughts. Most of them are over fifty years old.

      I hope that some of these tips will encourage a smile or a nod of understanding. You are not alone. It is tempting to say that there are no dos and don’ts. However, this is not entirely the case, because there do seem to be a small number of things that the vast majority of widows will agree should or should

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