The Bachelor Scrolls -- Part One: Isis Unleashed (Second Edition)

The Bachelor Scrolls

Part One - Isis Unleashed

a fantasy

by Geronimo Redstone

Revised Second Edition

Original copyright © 2015 Geronimo Redstone (pseudonym)

All rights reserved

Revised Second Edition

Distributed by Smashwords

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In dedication to my deceased mother Mary, an aspiring writer who escaped from an abusive marriage, to my sister who was taken prematurely by breast cancer, and to Victoria and Vivian, two beautiful little maidens whom I think of as nieces. May they live long and well and one day be courted by bachelors who are worthy of their affections.

"1 in 3 women throughout the world will experience physical and/or sexual violence by a partner or sexual violence by a non-partner."

- World Health Organization

Table of Contents

Proem

Prologue

Chapter One: The Campaign Kickoff

Chapter Two: Boots on the Ground

Chapter Three: The War on Women

Chapter Four: Meeting the Press

Chapter Five: A Trans-Pacific Partnership

Chapter Six: Celebrity Endorsement

Chapter Seven: Courting Wall Street

Chapter Eight: The Caucus

Chapter Nine: State of the Marital Union

Chapter Ten: Grassroots Organizing

Chapter Eleven: Family Values

Acknowledgements

About the Protagonist

About the Author

Connect with Geronimo Redstone

*** Proem ***

I tell this tale of a male who was wed until he was no more. I choose to sing his story with a license that is loose—but also literary. Thus, all characters presented, even those iconic souls whose fame you recognize and whom you know as real, are invoked within these scrolls as characters surreal—clearly fictional. So, accordingly, their exploits in this epic tale are my imagined fantasy.

But if you truly are concerned about the legacy and defamation of great names, direct your indignation to that rampaging evil—and misogyny—that many in the West have loosely labeled, albeit inadvertently, with that borrowed acronym: a name, henceforth, we should use only when referring to the ancient mother goddess of that classic mother culture of the Nile. With this modern odyssey, Isis shall reclaim her name.

The goddess Isis

Prologue

The following is the transcript of the interview conducted on the set of Hamilton Greene Live, the Emmy Award-winning prime-time TV talk show in North America—broadcasted in the year 2033. His guest is the mysterious phenomenon that identified herself to the world earlier in the year as the ancient Egyptian goddess Isis. This is her first interview after being invited to address the General Assembly of the United Nations on the threat of global gender violence.

August 14, 2033—9:00 p.m.

HGL anchor Hamilton Greene: Good evening to our viewing audience throughout the hemisphere and welcome to this special edition of our show. This is Hamilton Greene, your eye on the world. Tonight we have an exclusive interview with the woman who has been the focus of world speculation ever since she appeared on the scene several months ago. She is credited with striking a decisive blow against extremist forces in the Middle East. As a result, she has become a veritable superhero to millions around the globe.

So, madam, please sit down and relax; welcome to our studio. This is indeed a milestone for our program. I have interviewed four heads of state, the Pope and the Dalai Lama. But this is the first time I have an alleged extraterrestrial being on the air. However, I must comment that you are not dressed as what I would expect of an avowed mythological deity. Yet you claim to be the ancient Egyptian goddess Isis. Is that correct?

Isis: First, Your Highness would have been a more appropriate form of address, but we can dispense with formalities this evening. In truth, Hamilton, I am her avatar. And I saw no need to wear her golden crown and ancient robes here. But, in preparing for this interview, I found this garment appealing to her tastes; the cream-colored jacket pays tribute to my complexion and, at the risk of being risqué, also to my hips. You moderns call it a pantsuit, as I recall.

Greene: I’m sure the bankers and lawyers in our television audience would be interested in knowing where you found it. Just as I am sure that at least one or two cosmetic companies would kill to sign you up for product endorsements—your eye makeup is outstanding! Let’s zoom in on that stunning face. That’s the money shot! A very exotic complement to those hazel eyes and braids. By the way, don’t you think that the third-person references are rather awkward?

Isis: My apologies if I confuse you with the double mindset of us avatars. However, such habits are not easily changed. But, my garment?—I saw it featured in one of the fashion magazines displayed at my publicist’s office. What do you think of it?

Greene: You model it like a professional. Given how tall you are, it frames your contours superbly—if I may say so without panicking the network executives. In fact, you might consider tryouts for an Olympic basketball team—maybe the men’s division with that height. But enough of that. There are at least a dozen questions your arrival raises. We could start with you telling us a little about yourself and this identity that you have adopted. For example, where did you come from? Are you a visitor from another planet?

Isis: I see that you have a well-deserved reputation for impertinence. And I stand only a little less than two-meters tall or six-foot-three by your American standard.

Greene: And I stand corrected. But the question, Your Highness: Are you from another planet?

Isis: No, not at all. I consider myself originally a native of this world. You could say that Isis has had two homes. Millennia ago, I resided in Africa in that land you call Egypt. Most recently, however, Isis lives in a realm existing somewhere between paradise and that demonic wasteland you know as perdition. We call our astral domain the Middle Kingdom. Hamilton, does my foreign origin make me an illegal alien? I hope not, since I would like, very much, to stay here in the United States. The decay of your civilization suggests that I have much work to do.

Greene: Very clever. Well, Your Highness, since you have demonstrated a unique set of capabilities, I really doubt that deporting you is a high priority for the government. That would be like trying to deport the comic book character Superman. Or maybe Wonder Woman would be the more appropriate analogy. Besides, the immigration issue in America was resolved ten years ago: I would have expected your research would be more current. But I must note that—for a woman reportedly thousands of years old—you could easily pass for someone in her early thirties. And you have one of the most alluring speaking voices and accents that I’ve heard in years. It’s like a soothing aria coated in overtones of honey!

Isis: How flattering! Particularly since I tempered the potency of my voice for human ears. But are you questioning the truth of my longevity? Or are you trying to charm an older woman on international television? If so, I must advise that I am happily married, even though my husband and I are physically separated.

Greene: That was just an observation, and no overture or accusation was intended on my part. So you and your husband are separated?—sounds like trouble in paradise. What were the circumstances of that separation, if I may ask, and will he ever be joining you here?

Isis: Hamilton, I thought you would have read my ancient myths in preparation for this interview. No? Unfortunate. Nevertheless, mine is a painful story involving complex family matters such as jealousy, fratricide and resurrection. I would rather not talk about that—even time immemorial fails to heal such wounds. So no, Lord Osiris will not be joining me here on earth.

Greene: I humbly defer to your private matters. We will now take a break for a message from our sponsors—including Aphrodite Unlimited, purveyors of fine cosmetics to Hollywood stars.

***

Greene: Ladies and gentlemen of the hemisphere, we are back with our guest, the incredible female phenomenon known as Isis. Instead of touchy family issues, let’s discuss those military capabilities I referenced earlier. You have been called a one man army who has the entire world buzzing in amazement. Now, you have acknowledged responsibility for the recent attacks on the ISIS terrorist bases in New Mesopotamia. Why did you join that fight?

Isis: Hamilton, please do not refer to those decapitating, relic-smashing misfits of humanity by that name. Its use is an insult to my legacy as a sponsor of the ancient crafts of civilization. Isis established the beginnings of the marital partnership, while they only pervert it with rape, beatings and slavery. I am love and female dignity; they are hate and female degradation.

Greene: Madam, no offense intended. But, in the greater scheme of things, is a name really that important? Isn’t defeating the terrorist empire the real issue?

Isis: I understand that you modern mortals do not believe in magic. But every time your pundits, every time your media recite my name in reference to that barbarian filth, you give them tiny invocations of my power. What you see before you is the real and only Isis in this world.

Greene: Once again, I stand corrected… Your Highness. Well, with you now on the scene, I guess the media will have to start referring to them as ISIL.

Isis: That would be preferable—and long overdue. Yes, Isis did direct the Eye of Ra to fire concentrated solar flares upon their military positions. They were threatening a legion—I should say brigade—of Kurdish female fighters who were pinned down in the ruins of that provincial city. Although the women had acquitted themselves well, in fact far better than the spineless Iraqi troops that scattered to the wind two decades earlier, they were in danger of being overrun. Had that happened, the atrocities would have been unthinkable.

Greene: Those butchers have been notorious for their practices of gender cleansing.

Isis: Gender cleansing? Such a sanitized epithet for the catalog of terror by patriarchal brutes! What you call gender cleansing I expose by other names: rape, sex slavery, forced abortions on pregnant slaves, genital mutilation, dousing pretty female faces with flesh-dissolving acid, so-called honor killings of daughters who would determine their own fates, transforming teenage girls into suicidal bombs, women stoned to death and the general slaughter of females who are no longer deemed desirable. Did I miss anything?

Greene: No, I can’t say that you have, Your Highness. That list was rather thorough.

Isis: Hamilton, such cleansing would have turned the stomach of a civilized world. At least it should have. And since neither the West nor the male-dominated governments in the region were inclined to respond, I chose to intervene. Isis had to intervene.

Greene: You did, indeed—with a vengeance. We have footage of that flying object which does, in fact, look like a giant eye. Now, viewers, because of the graphic nature of that footage, we have blurred the images of the fried corpses of the enemy hostiles. Your Highness, you’re shown here, in crown and gown, hovering in the air next to that giant eye with what appear to be wings attached to your arms—while repelling a barrage of ground-to-air missiles. Well, that’s a new twist on drone warfare!

Isis: My attack was effective in destroying their heavy artillery and obliterating about 6,000 of their foreign fighters—6,017 to be precise. The Kurdish warriors neutralized the rest and sent them running into the desert like frightened sheep—correction, frightened swine. I do not think their leaders were very happy about being beaten so decisively by a force of women. Even before I struck, they seemed shocked to encounter such fierce resistance from females who could wield modern weapons as adeptly as they would kitchen knives.

Greene: And talk about a deadly eye, the satellite image seems to capture you at that moment with a menacing red glow radiating from your eyes. I could say something along the lines of if looks could kill—but I’ll restrain myself. But you do understand, Your Highness, that such a remarkable display of superior military power does arouse suspicions regarding your ultimate motivations?

Isis: Hamilton, I have no imperial ambitions in the Middle East—if that is your question. And I relayed that during my recent meeting with your American president at her white palace.

Greene: We call it the White House: It provides the sense of grandeur without the trappings of royalty—not that there’s anything wrong with that. Yes, you did meet with President Kwan. It was striking how you provided advance notice to the Secret Service before your appointment. It’s not every day that White House visitors appear on the north lawn in a shaft of shimmering light. Beam me down, Scotty! Eh? What were your impressions of her?

Isis: A most admirable woman whose company I enjoyed for nearly two hours. Since we are both single mothers who had struggled to raise and protect ambitious sons, we shared a common bond—that and our similar tastes in pantsuits. In her resplendent oval chamber, we sipped two cups of very good tea—Earl Grey, I think she called it—enjoyed some ripened figs, while exchanging perspectives on matters such as that obelisk in your capital. We also discussed domestic and world events, of course. She was clearly torn by the decision not to intervene in support of the Kurds, but I think she can do well for your nation-state. I also found that she had a remarkable fascination with ancient cultures: as evidenced by the dog-eared textbook on ancient Greek literature that she kept in her desk drawer—until she pulled it out to show me some of her favorite passages in classical Greek.

Greene: So we can assume you speak ancient Greek? What else did you discuss with the president?

Isis: I do, as well as Coptic, Aramaic, Latin and the ancient Persian tongue. But as to the president, you can assume that she wanted to know more about my supporters here in America and their political intentions. She also wanted to know why what you have called a radical feminist cabal was established. Hamilton, I must confess that Isis was very vexed when she had learned of your statement. So I informed the president that such a caricature was unwarranted. There is no such cabal. The sisterhood was created solely as a non-violent campaign, a reaction to this era’s growing incidents of teenage rape and wife beating. That brutal assault the other day by that baseball player comes to mind. I understand that his mistress is still in the intensive care ward of that Miami hospital.

Greene: Madam, I don’t—

Isis: I am not yet finished. I told President Kwan that I was also here to warn the male half of your population: There will be consequences in the afterlife for vile assaults on female dignity. I reported that countless male souls have been rudely awakened by the judgment that awaited them for transgressions once ignored or dismissed. That American mogul who ran for president discovered that when he expired—to his chagrin. She did not necessarily accept that… unearthly assertion, but she was respectful. I also assured her that our coalition was not anti-male but rather a rescue mission—so to speak—for manhood in the Americas. You may respond now.

Greene: Well, I don’t think there’s any denying that your movement seems to tout a rather extreme feminist agenda. But since you brought up my comment, let’s clear the air. That observation does speak to the heart of why you first sparked so much controversy. Moving beyond your recent episode in the Middle East, when you first appeared months ago here in this hemisphere, you identified yourself as both the inspiration of and source for what has become one of the largest female movements in modern history. But unlike that effort to win women the right to vote, your so-called sisterhood is indoctrinating girls and women with values that are arguably segregationist—not in terms of race—but in regard to gender. Your announcement shattered office building windows, horrified pedestrians and halted traffic in several cities when you boomed—and I quote: "Nations of the Western Hemisphere, I am she who was first mother in the hearts of ancient Egypt. And I am she who has returned to lead my sisterhood in defense of marriage and to insulate female honor from the corruption of modern males."

Isis: Any damage that was done Isis corrected. And none were harmed. What? You look at me with that famous raised eyebrow that suggests you have more on your tongue.

Greene: Indeed. A national magazine has reported that your movement discourages interaction with most boys and men. That’s under the premise that many of them have somehow been corrupted by a supernatural force. Your Highness, that sounds like hysteria similar to the Salem witch hunts of the seventeenth century! What’s next? Public exorcisms? It’s also been reported that this movement subjects men and teenagers to psychological litmus tests before they are allowed interaction with your followers, interaction as innocent as a movie date.

Isis: If I understand the meaning of litmus test, then, I concur, we do carefully appraise the motivations of an impassioned male’s heart. What is hysterical about that?

Greene: The inquisition that’s involved, Your Highness. What’s more, aspiring suitors