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    Humorous Incidents in My Life
    Humorous Incidents in My Life
    Humorous Incidents in My Life
    Ebook70 pages52 minutes

    Humorous Incidents in My Life

    By Mario V. Farina

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    About this ebook

    A collection of shorts written by a man with many experiences and stories to share! Mario has lived a full life, filled with wit, humor, and insight. Read his stories and let him make you laugh!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMario V. Farina
    Release dateJan 15, 2015
    ISBN9781311133984
    Humorous Incidents in My Life
    Author

    Mario V. Farina

    Mario V Farina has worked all his life, from age 18 to 90. He worked for the American Locomotive Company, served in the U. S. Army during WWII, was employed at General Electric. He taught computers at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. After leaving his position with RPI, he became employed with the State Labor Department of New York. He’s a car buff, a pun creator, and a computer enthusiast. He wrote textbooks for the programming languages COBOL and FORTRAN and wrote a book of puns and short stories called, “A Little Light Reading,” as well as over 20 other books. Several of his books were translated into other languages. This is his first foray into the world of digital publishing, with the help of his computer tutor (william.rl.dickie@gmail.com).

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      Book preview

      Humorous Incidents in My Life - Mario V. Farina

      Humorous Incidents in My Life

      Collected Short Stories

      Mario V. Farina

      Copyright 2015 by Mario V. Farina

      Smashwords Edition

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      All rights reserved.

      No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author.

      Correspondence may be directed to:

      Mario V Farina

      Email: mario@mariofarina.com

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Farina, Mario V.

      One Small Step in Time / Mario V. Farina

      ISBN: 9781311133984

      First Published in Yahoo Voices

      To Ann who has made and is making my story so interesting.

      Table of Contents

      An End to the Cape Cod Basement Menace

      At Last They Were the Same Age

      Playing a Joke on Jeff

      The IQ Test

      The Infamous Auto Defects Lists of Bygone Days

      A New National Holiday

      I Love a Mystery

      I’m Out of Touch

      Learning Inline Skating

      Like Lorenzo Jones

      Never Admit to a Having Had a Senior Moment

      Stay Away from Hammers and Saws

      The Mystery of the Single Word on a 3 x 5 Card

      They Were Too Polite

      What’s With the Incredible Shrinking Rigatoni?

      Why Not Horseshoes?

      My First Pun

      Treatment for Athlete’s Foot

      Razor Blades Not Sold Here?

      The Purchase of a 1937 Packard Limousine

      Swami Know-It-All

      No Talent for Plumbing

      Not Enough Experience

      Must Be the Numbers Know Me

      The Student Next Door

      Falling Into A Job

      How Are the Seats?

      Swing and Sway with XWRA

      A Well-Laid Plan Gone Awry

      God Bless You

      Laugh Tracks

      Our First House

      Making a Telescope

      Embroiled in Magnetic Tape

      A New Holiday, Super Bowl Sunday

      Not Only That, But…

      The Unwelcome Mouse Guest

      Nod Efeek

      An End to the Cape Cod Basement Menace

      The phone rang on my desk. I knew who it was from the Caller ID. Hello Dear, I said.

      Hon, there's a mouse in the house! You have to come home! She was speaking so fast I could barely make out what she was saying.

      I can't right now, Dear. You're not scared of a mouse are you? We had been married only a few years and I had not seen this side of her before.

      Yes, I am! she screamed. I'm petrified of it. Vic, you must come home! You're got to get rid of it. I can't do anything. I'm standing on a chair right now. I don't dare get down.

      Oh Honey, I protested. I'm at work. I can't just get up and come home! Can't you scare it away? It's probably more afraid of you than you are of it.

      Cindy was adamant. She would not accept a no answer. I explained to my supervisor, as best I could, there was an emergency at home, and began the homeward jaunt. It was summer. About twenty minutes later, I arrived at our house, a small white Cape Cod starter home. I understood why Cindy wasn't waiting for me at the door as usual. When I let myself in, I saw her standing on a chair in the kitchen with a broom in her hand.

      I hastened to where she was, kissed her while she remained frozen in place. I felt her relax in my arms. Why the broom? I asked. I've been banging on the floor to keep it away, she responded. She shivered. I felt like laughing but didn't because I knew this was no joke to her.

      Where is it? I asked.

      She pointed to the basement door. Down there! Take it away. I don't care what you do with it.

      Keep tapping, I said. It won't dare come near you. I'll check the basement.

      I left her side and went down the stairs to the unfinished basement. I looked near the washer and dryer, under the sink, around the furnace. There was no trace of the mouse. It had probably gone outdoors. I needed to be back at work. I had promised to return as soon as I could. I could hear Cindy's tapping and realized that this hunt might take all afternoon.

      On the workbench was a small box that had once held matches and an idea occurred to me. I picked it up and cradled it in

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