I Think About You

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Olivia ‘Heartbreaker’ Badilla – The fierce and fearless queen of ink with a heart of gold. Outside of her tattoo shop and her friends, the only thing that matters to Heartbreaker is her seventeen-year-old nice, Madi, whom she’s raised from the time Madi was twelve.  

Lucas McNealy has been in love with Madi’s Aunt Liv for as long as he can remember. But the nine years between them has kept her from taking notice. Until now. Seven years in the army should be enough to help her see the difference between the boy he was then, and the man he is now.  

And maybe it is.  

But romance is the last thing on Heartbreaker’s mind when Lucas shows up ready to claim her. She’s got bigger problems than his childhood crush, mainly her criminal brother who’s back in town and wreaking havoc right outside her door. It’s what he always does. What he’s always done. Only this time, the toxic wake of his disastrous choices is spreading beyond his control. It won’t be long before it threatens to take down the shop and everyone in it. Including Madi.  

Heartbreaker is prepared to wage war against the evil her brother is in business with. And she’s determined to do it alone.  

What she isn’t prepared to do is fall in love with the worst possible choice at the worst possible time.  

But then Lucas might prove just as determined as she is...

IF YOU LIKE FIERCE heroines, tattoos, and swoon-worthy heroes, then you'll love this contemporary romantic suspense. Download it for free at: www.authorksthomas.com

Chapter 1

MARISSA

The bar was almost completely deserted. Aside from the two guys sitting at the far end of the counter near the juke box, there didn’t seem to be another soul in sight. I knew both guys. Or at least, I had, once upon a time.

Drew and Jerry were brothers, only separated in age by a year, but different in every way imaginable. While Jerry was tall with a bulky build, straw blond hair and full lips so dark they were almost a reddish purple, Drew was on the shorter side, coming in just a few inches over me. But what he lacked in height, he certainly made up for in solid, lean muscle. Unlike Jerry’s golden mop, Drew had dirty blond hair and hazel eyes with a mouth you wanted to run your tongue over. Well, that last part might have just been me.

While Drew wasn’t nearly as large in the shoulders and chest as his younger brother, there was no denying that boy had a body that showed the years of physical labor he and Jerry had both been accustomed to throughout most of their lives.

They sat there quietly, just sipping their beers and apparently completely unaware of my presence, when the jukebox switched songs. This time, a tune harping on long lost love and missed opportunities began to play.

I watched as Drew glanced up and absentmindedly stared across the counter at the wall behind it.

You know who this song always makes me think about? he said as he lifted the bottle back up to his lips.

No. Who? Jerry leaned back like he was trying to get a better look at him.

Thoughtfully, Drew set the bottle back down, rocking the edge of it in small circles on the coaster.

Marissa.

Jerry didn’t bother hiding his bewildered expression. Seriously?

Yeah, pretty lame, huh? Drew went to take another drink, looking like he already regretted having brought up that name. My name. He was just about to swallow when he finally saw me out of the corner of his eye. I’d felt completely invisible up until that point. And I’d’ liked it. Being a fly on the wall, so to speak, while Drew let spill his lingering feelings for me, had been a fantasy of mine for nearly eight years now.

In a weird way, I felt like I appeared out of thin air and then suddenly found myself just magically sitting there on the bar stool right beside him.

Stunned, Drew lowered the bottle.

It's ok. This song always makes me think about you, too, I said without skipping a beat and flashing him a mischievous smirk.

Really? Drew raised his brow, a mixture of pleasant surprise and complete disbelief on his handsome face.

I nodded. Yeah.  Every time I hear it I think, 'I bet Drew thinks about me when he hears this song. Then I reached for his beer and took a swig in an attempt to mask the grin which had now spread out across my entire face.

Meanwhile, Jerry made no such efforts to disguise his amusement, laughing so loudly he was nearly choking on his beer.

Very funny. Drew wasn’t nearly as thrilled to be stuck at the ass-end of my little joke.

Before I could open my mouth to say anything else, a bright light grew from the center of the room until it reached all around, drowning out everything else. Next thing I knew, I was sitting in my bed. Wide awake and no Drew in sight.

I sat there, completely entangled in my sheet and comforter. It was still pitch black out and my room was drenched in darkness except for some small glimmer of light coming from the lamp in the hall, and, of course, the constant flicker streaming from my TV, which as of late, I kept on twenty-four hours a day.

I scanned the room for a moment, still trying to get my bearings again after the crazy-vivid dream I’d just had.

It’d been years since I’d seen either Drew or Jerry, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what had caused my subconscious to drag up both of their faces all of a sudden.

Tired, I reached for the remote to turn up the TV, which I kept at minimal volume at night just to hear the quiet humming of instruments the constant flow of music videos offered, in addition to being a convenient night light.

As soon as I could make out the words, I realized what I was watching. The same song I had just heard playing on the juke box mid dream, was now on display via its music video.

Ugh, no wonder, I moaned as I switched off the TV for what was probably the first time in three months, and tossed the remote onto my bedside table.

I glanced over at the alarm clock. It was only four a.m. That shit only put me in a worse mood and I tried to settle back into bed, stretching out and untangling the blankets, finding my daughter’s feet in the process.

Hailey was nearly two already, but given that it was just her and me now, I had fallen into a habit of keeping her in the master bedroom with me rather than her own room at the end of the hall. The unfortunate side effect being, I frequently found myself getting kicked in the face at night due to Hailey’s inexplicable need to sleep sideways.

I’d just managed to straighten her back out again and lay down myself when I suddenly heard a strange noise. To make matters more unsettling, Jasper, one of my dogs, started to growl. Trying not to overreact, I peeked over at him and watched to see if he would do anything else. When he got up and began to walk toward the door with his ears perched attentively, I had no choice but to grab my phone from the table beside me and climb out of bed to follow him.

Roxy, stay here with the baby. She was still lying on the floor beside the bed totally unbothered, and I told myself she knew something Jasper didn’t and not vice versa. Just to be sure, I caught up to him in the doorway and together we began to walk out of the room out into the hallway.

Cautiously, I made my way down the stairs to enable the alarm which was located beside the front door. Punching in the activation code, I silently cursed myself for not having done it sooner. Maybe if I had taken care of it before going to bed, I wouldn’t have to be wandering around the house in the dark in the middle of the night, hunting for possible intruders while I was armed with nothing more than my IPhone, rather than sleeping.

I crept from room to room, searching the entire house and stopping to check inside closets and behind doors as I went. When at last I had walked through the entire house and found nothing, I returned to the bedroom.

I climbed back into bed and sighed loudly. This had marked the third midnight walk–through this week. I was really starting to feel like a fool. If only the house wasn’t so damn big, maybe I could put my stupid fears to rest.

No sooner had my head touched the pillow, than I heard the same noise from before. I still couldn’t tell what it was or where it was coming from, however, this time Jasper seemed completely uninterested, leading me to believe that Roxy had been onto something all along. Tired and frustrated, I reached for the remote once more and turned the TV back on before plopping face first into my pillow and willing myself back to sleep.

Barely three hours later, I woke up to Taylor Swift belting out for me to Shake it Off via my phone ringing. Still half asleep, I searched for the source of the sound, growing increasingly frazzled, before finally realizing I was still holding the phone in my hand from the four a.m. freak out. Apparently, I’d fallen asleep still clutching onto it.

I managed a glance at the alarm clock just before I answered. It was only seven-thirty. Whoever this was, had better have a damn good reason for calling so early.

Hello? I groaned into the receiver.

Hey, babe, Shane replied, sounding wide awake and far more energetic.

Of course. The sound of his voice woke me up instantly. I hated that he still called me that, but rather than start a fight which would only take us around in circles, I generally chose to ignore it.

Hi. How’s Los Angeles? I crawled from my bed and walked out of the room to keep from waking Hailey with my talking.

Oh, it's beautiful weather today!  Wish you could see it. I could literally hear the smile in his voice, which only annoyed me more.

Yeah? I pulled back the curtains and ventured my own look outside. The result, however, left much to be desired. The sky was dark and cluttered with heavy grey clouds which came with promises of a long, wet day.

Anyway, Shane began again, as always unaware that I’d gotten distracted and was no longer listening, were you still sleeping when I called? You sound like you’re just waking up. Don’t you think sleeping in is a luxury you really can’t afford now that you’re solely responsible for our daughter’s physical well-being?

I let go of the curtain and it fell back into place, shutting out the dreary scenery, if not the dreary mood I now found myself in.

Yeah, it’s just after the night I had...

Sorry babe, I gotta go, Shane cut me off. Kiss the peanut for me. And let me know if this is getting to be too much for you. We can always go back to court and revisit the custody arrangement if need be. He hung up before I had a chance to say anything else.

Frustrated, I stared down at my phone and gave it the middle finger. Revisit this. Asshole.

Quietly, I tiptoed back into the bedroom and crawled back under the covers to lay beside my daughter. It hadn’t been that long ago since I’d shared the bed with Shane. Now the idea of lying beside him made me want to come out of my own skin. He’d become a total stranger to me and no matter how many terms of endearment he used when he spoke to me, they would all ring hallow from now on.

It had been nearly six months already since Shane had come home from one of his frequent business trips only to deliver the news that he’d fallen in love with a woman named Charlotte, a colleague with whom he now felt a kinship that made our marriage pale in comparison.  I’d taken the news better than I would have expected. Maybe because the whole conversation struck me as being so incredibly surreal as I’d listened to him talk about how much I had changed since having our daughter. How I had let myself go since becoming a mom and how he needed to be with a woman who was as ambitious as he was, essentially blaming me for his act of betrayal, as though I could have prevented it somehow, if only I had been more focused on myself and being the wife he wanted rather than the mother our daughter needed.

I’d experienced a wild array of emotions that night, ranging from confusion to absolute fury, before ending in complete and utter heartbreak at the realization that the man I had thought I would spend the rest of my life with was leaving me and our daughter behind without so much as looking back.

Of course, Shane had made it easy on me as well as himself, absolving himself both of all guilt and responsibility by giving me full custody while still providing me with a more than adequate income and allowing Hailey and me to stay in the house. He could have fought me for more time with Hailey, could have chosen to liquidate our assets and split them, but I knew, had always known deep down, that being a father was something that sounded good to Shane on the surface, but really meant very little to him in his day to day life.

As time went by and Shane moved out, Hailey and I adjusted fairly easily to a life without him. It really hadn’t been all that different when he still lived there. Hailey was used to his constant traveling and was already accustomed to maintaining their relationship via daily phone calls. The only thing that had really changed, was counting down the days until he came home, although it only took a couple of weeks before Hailey stopped asking to do that as well.

The first few months had passed in a blur for me while I spent all of my energy on Hailey and making sure that the transition went smoothly for her. By the time I finally realized my daughter was coping better than I was, it was already way past time to start getting a better grasp on my new reality.

For nights I laid awake letting my mind wander to all the places I had made off limits for the last few years. Seeing things for how they really were. Seeing Shane for who he really was. I found myself having revelation after revelation, all the while crying my eyes out in silence while my daughter slept right there beside me.

Now, six months later, I was finding ways to feel comfort again and regaining a confidence and strength I’d shockingly realized I’d lost somewhere along the way.

Thinking about it all for the millionth time, I pressed my lips together trying to fight back tears. Sometimes I was surprised they still came, but mostly I just wondered where the hurt had hidden for so long that it had gone unnoticed.

Hailey began to stir beside her. Quickly, I wiped away my tears and put on a happy face to greet her.

Good morning, Peanut. Daddy called.  He says he loves you.

DREW

ABOUT FIVE HUNDRED miles east of Marissa in rural Alamo, Nevada, I was just headed home after pulling an all-nighter at work. I’m sure I hadn’t crossed her mind once in the years since she had up and left this isolated patch of green stuck in the middle of the desert, I however, had not had the same luxury.

Marissa crept into my thoughts at least once a day and it was a completely involuntary experience every damn time. Like right now, as I sat here at the stop sign with Tom’s Gas and Goods to my right. I passed that stupid gas station every time I left the house, and every time, I had to stop right beside it while I waited my turn at the intersection. Thing was, I couldn’t so much as register the sign without picturing her. Standing there. Pumping her gas.

We’d been broken up for nearly a year when she’d come home for a visit. She hadn’t bothered to try and see me while she was in town. But I’d seen her. Right there. And then I hadn’t seen her since.

Chapter 2

MARISSA

In the midst of all the changes that had occurred in my innermost circle, the one true rock I’d been able to count on without fail, had been my friend, Amy. With my family living out of state it had been easy to keep them out of the loop. After telling them week after