Good the Goblin Queen
By Becket
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About this ebook
Good is a seven-year-old girl who was adopted by absolutely ghastly parents. One night, after wishing on hundreds of shooting stars to become a queen, an elderly ghost appears to grant her wish in the most unexpected way, making her queen of the Goblin Kingdom. Yet what seems like a curse becomes a blessing when she meets seven goblins on their way home. They lead Queen Good to the Goblin Kingdom, until stopped upon discovering that a mysterious enemy has destroyed their homeland completely. Good must now help her fellow goblins discover who their enemy might be, and in doing so she just might discover who her real friends are, and who she really is—good, queenly, and a little gobliny.
Becket
Becket has a BA in music composition, an MA in Systematic Theology, and an MS in Industrial/Organizational Psychology. He was a Benedictine monk for many years. For the last nine years, he has worked as Anne Rice’s assistant, and has spent that time learning from her.
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Good the Goblin Queen - Becket
CHAPTER ONE
A Girl Named Good
The girl’s name was Good.
She was seven-and-a-half years old when she decided that her life was not good at all.
The first reason for this decision was because her mom and dad had named her Good. She did not want to be called bad,
but she never liked being called Good either. It was not a normal name. She would have rather been called another lovely name—like Ginny or Gale or Gwen. People were always misunderstanding her. What’s your name?
they would ask and she would reply, I’m Good.
And they would think that she was not very smart because good is usually how someone feels, never what you’re named.
The second reason she decided her life was not good was because of her mom and dad. You see, her parents were not normal parents. Normal parents have children in the normal way. But Good’s parents were a pair of orangutans. Yes, that’s right! They were real, honest to goodness orangutans who had escaped from the New York Zoo one morning when the orangutan cage cleaner left the cage door open.
The third reason she decided her life was not good was because she was adopted. She was not adopted from an orangutan adoption agency because Good was not an orangutan. She was the most ordinary seven-and-a-half year old girl you might meet—except that her name was Good and she was adopted by a pair of runaway orangutans. No one thought it was strange when they simply walked into the adoption agency. No one thought it was unusual when they signed the proper papers and walked out with a baby girl bundled in their arms. No one thought it was odd when her parents bought a house in a neighborhood with a golf course and started driving around in a golf cart and playing golf. And no one ever thought it was just a bit bizarre when her orangutan mom got a very important job in a very tall building as a banana taste tester, or when her orangutan dad eventually became the President of the United States.
Most people thought they were a very ordinary family.
Her mom and dad were not bad parents. But they did not know how to be good parents. They liked to play all day and they never liked to do any real work. They liked to swing from trees and lamps. They liked to jump on their bed and throw food and plates and poop. They liked to pick bugs from one another’s fur and eat them and they liked to do the same with Good’s long brown hair. They wanted Good to be just like them and they seemed really upset when she did not enjoy acting like an orangutan. She liked to do her homework. She liked to go to the library and read books. She liked to be alone in her room and play with her dolls. That really upset her mom and dad because they really liked going to fancy parties, gossiping, and showing all their teeth.
One of the first decisions that Good’s dad made as President of the United States was that the President would no longer live in the White House. So they moved all the desks and file cabinets and senators into the White Tree House. Good might have liked this very much, but there were always politicians crawling in and out of the Tree House, asking the President to sign important papers about world peace and taxes.
To make things worse, Good’s mom brought her work home with her, so there were always large piles of bananas all over the place. Orangutans love bananas! There were bananas in the kitchen, bananas in the living room, bananas in the bathroom, and bananas in Good’s bedroom. She had to sleep on a pile of bananas and her pillow was a bag of banana peels. The more her mom taste-tested bananas the more banana peels carpeted the floor. Good was always slipping on them and dropping her books.
And she was never allowed to clean the house either. Her mom and dad liked everything being in a specific order, which meant that there was no order whatsoever! The house was such a wreck from morning to night that important news agencies officially called it, The Disaster Zone.
Good was never allowed to cook anything if it did not have banana in it. She had to make banana soup, banana stew, banana bread, banana butter, banana applesauce, banana salad, banana sandwiches, banana meatloaf, banana mashed potatoes, banana ice cream, and countless other recipes with bananas in them. In fact, her mom and dad’s favorite dish in the whole world was banana, banana, and banana, with a side of more bananas.
Good was tempted to think that she was becoming what she ate, because sometimes she thought she was actually going bananas.
Good’s mom and dad liked to eat books more than read them, especially if the topic was about bananas too. They would throw her books playfully and tear out their pages and rip off their covers and draw in them with permanent markers and paint brushes. Good could not keep any of her books in the house. She had to bury them like treasure in a box in the backyard to keep them safe. She drew a map with an X on it and every night, once her mom and dad stopped jumping up and down and swinging from branches, Good would sneak out of the tree house, go to the back yard, and dig up her box of books. She would spend the night under the stars, holding a candle. She would read wonderful stories of kings and queens. She would imagine that she was a queen too—queen of a magic kingdom.
The first thing she would do as queen, she decided, would be to write a decree outlawing bananas.
Then, one magic night, Good looked up from a story about a Goblin Queen, and saw a shooting star rocketing through the nighttime sky. Following it were countless more shooting stars, all of them speeding through the night too, lighting up the sky like some marvelous show of fireworks.
Good had heard once that if you wished on a shooting star, that wish would come true. She did not know if that were true, but she hoped it was. More than all the things in her home, her hope was all she really had.
So she closed her eyes as all those bright shooting stars were flying brightly overhead. Then she made her wish.
I wish,
she wished in a soft, hopeful voice, I wish I could be a queen.
The next day, her wish came true.
CHAPTER TWO
The Forbidden Wish
No one ever thought of Good as a good girl. They never thought of her as bad either. In fact, she was so ignored by so many people that no one really ever thought of her. She went to school and had no friends. She came home and had no friends. She walked around the neighbor-hood or the park or the beach and she still had no friends. But one day she started to change. And then she was noticed, not by people, but by a troop of goblins marching by in the Pots and Pans Parade.
It began in the middle of winter. There was lots of snow on the ground and the wind was cold and biting. Her mom could not go to work because there was too much snow on the ground, and her dad did not work that day because he was outside throwing snowballs with the Queen of England.
Good could not go to school either and because she did not have any friends, no one wanted to build a snowman with her. She was stuck inside the White Tree House all day with several politicians and a few tourists from the Deep South.
Good’s mom was in the kitchen trying to make banana macaroni and cheese for lunch, but was making a complete mess with banana mush dripping from the ceiling. Her mom was screeching so loudly in the kitchen that the southern tourists thought she might be on fire! Good almost asked her mom to build a snowman with her, but instead she had to assure the tourists that her mom was only singing a song about the yummy taste of bananas on fingers.
That’s what my mom sounds like when she’s happy because that’s what all orangutans sound like when they’re happy,
she said, feeling very embarrassed.
Good’s dad was in the Oval Office, which was not oval, but square, like the rest of the tree house. But his politicians liked having things stay the same even if it didn’t make sense, so they went on calling the square room the oval office.
Good went in to ask her dad if he would like to build a snowman, even though she knew he would only knock it down again. But he was very busy signing very important documents about the Constitution of the United States