How to Liv

1. Lanterns - Birds of Tokyo

2. Miracle Cure - Something for Kate

3. 1979 - Smashing Pumpkins

4. Charlie Brown - Coldplay

5. Zombie - The Cranberries

6. Penguins & Polarbears - Millencolin

7. November Rain - Guns N Roses

8. Take a Picture - Filter

9. Brother - Matt Corby

10. Ghosts of the Past - Eskimo Joe

11. Heartbeats - José González

12. Friday I’m in Love - The Cure

13. Lightning Crashes - Live

14. Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind

15. Landslide - Smashing Pumpkins

16. Mylo Xyloto - Coldplay

17. Hurts Like Heaven - Coldplay

18. Motorcycle Drive By - Third Eye Blind

19. Stay Young - INXS

20. Paradise by the Dashboard Light - Meat Loaf

21. Hot Chilli Woman - Noiseworks

22. Starlight - Muse

23. My Obsession - Icehouse

24. If I Could - 1927

25. Linger - The Cranberries

26. Draw Your Swords - Angus & Julia Stone

27. Between the Raindrops - Lifehouse

28. Wherever You Will Go - Charlene Soraia

29. I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers

Eric, our accountant, was standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders. He gave a firm squeeze that made me cringe. I tried to hide it by turning my head to give him a weak smile. He moved to the side of the big industrial table, smiling back and forth between Karen and me.

Good night, ladies, don’t work too hard, he said with a thump of his open hand on the table, causing the bottles that were spread over it to rattle.

Bye, Eric, Karen and I spoke at the same time.

I watched Karen’s eyes follow him out the factory door before they flicked back to mine. Leaning forward, as if she had a secret to tell, she whispered, You don’t have to put up with that you know.

I shrugged and looked back down at my calloused fingers.

You could report him for sexual harassment, or I could do it for you.

It’s okay, Eric’s harmless, I assured her. I really thought he was just a little flirty and touchy-feely is all.

Maybe so, but he has no right to invade your personal space like that. He’s always so hands on with you. Jess too, for that matter.

It really doesn’t bother me.

I saw you flinch when he touched you then, so don’t give me that.

It did bother me a bit, but not enough to report the guy. He was maybe a little misguided but I really didn’t think he meant any harm.

I’m just saying, if you want to report him I’ve got your back.

Okay thanks. I smiled weakly at her and returned my attention to my job.

Today had been a colossal waste of time. I had spent the entire afternoon correcting a huge mistake made by the sales department. I say ‘department’ because they all refused to take the wrap individually, instead, the four of them had placed the blame on one another. Regardless of which one made the mistake, I was the one paying for it.

I work at an essential oil company, as in aromatherapy oils, that kind of thing. The current blend of oils I was working with was for a major customer. A major customer who had recently changed the design of their label. That important information was not passed on from the ‘sales department’, even though they may have been aware of it for the past few weeks. The 15,000 bottles that were packaged yesterday, had the incorrect labels on them. Labels I had spent hours peeling off, by hand, and was no way near finished. My fingers were sore, my shoulders ached and that coupled with the menstrual cramps that had plagued me since the wee hours of the morning made me one crabby worker bee. I should have knocked off work already and I wasn’t even close to halfway through.

Unfortunately, my two partners in crime weren’t at work today so I was on my own. Marg, the backbone of my group, was currently living it up on a two week vacation on the Gold Coast, in Queensland, with her kids. Probably at one of the theme parks, right at this moment. Jess, the other girl of our group, had called in sick this morning. So that just left little ole me. Until five o’clock that is, when Karen, my supervisor, had started helping me. She may be the ‘supervisor’ but she really is just one of the girls. The one that just happens to do all the paperwork and planning. She has the unfortunate task of spending most of her time stuck at her desk with the added pressure from the management above.

We continued working in relative silence for the next hour or so in the quiet factory. We were the only ones left out here. I liked when it was peaceful like this, without the bottling machines on, or the chaos of the other workers milling about. The only sound at the moment was the occasional clank of the amber bottles as we placed them against one another or the tapping sound they made against the stainless steel industrial workbench we were seated at.

It was hot today, forty degrees Celsius outside, as it had been all week. That’s an Aussie summer for you. Luckily it was relatively cool in the factory. I was particularly grateful of that fact, especially as it was compulsory for me to wear a lab coat over my clothes.

Olivia, it’s six-thirty, how ‘bout we call it a night? Karen suggested, pushing the last of the unlabelled bottles in front of her to the side. I glanced across the wide bench top to meet her weary eyes. So we’ve finished this lot but there were still thousands to go…

You don’t have to tell me twice! I replied smiling, immediately jumping up from my stool relieved at the thought of calling it a day.

Karen followed me to the staff room where we both returned our lab coats. Retrieving my handbag from my locker, I fished out my mobile from the side pocket, pressing the button to bring it to life. No messages of course, not that I really expected any.

Five a.m. start tomorrow? I asked as Karen shut her locker door. I figured with all the work we had ahead of us we probably needed an early start.

Yeah, I suppose – no choice really. She groaned. I was looking at the schedule and this fuck up has really put us so far behind.

I thought it would.

Can you work ‘til nine tomorrow night? Sorry to do that to you on a Friday night-

No problems Kaz. Overtime is standard lately, and besides, you know I have no life anyway, I mumbled, interrupting her. I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself, honestly, I was just stating a fact.

Karen looked at me with sympathy. I hated when she did that.

I just hope Jess is feeling well enough to come in tomorrow, I said, changing the subject from my lack of a social life.

She sounded pretty bad on the phone this morning, Karen looked deflated.

So not likely then?

Jess rarely had a day off, she was just as hard a worker as I was. So I knew she must have been really sick when she didn’t come into work today.

Minutes later, I was at my car winding down the windows to let out some of the heat. I started the ignition and cranked the aircon too, to give it a chance to cool down before I got in. I gave Karen a wave as she drove away. I wished I had remembered to chuck my thongs in the car this morning because now I was in the heat, stuck in a heavy pair of steel-capped work boots and I hate having hot feet. I reached through the open window to the glovebox and retrieved my emergency packet of cigarettes.

Lighting up my first cigarette in three days, I took a long drag. I really was trying to quit, but sometimes I just needed a smoke.

Looking up to the windows of the second floor of the front office I could see a couple of people still working at their desks. I guess I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t in a hurry to get home. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go home exactly, it’s just that I would prefer to go to it empty. Which is why I lived on my own, up until recently. I have a small two bedroom unit that I am very proud to call my own. I bought it six years ago and with the increase in property prices and the extra repayments that my overtime had afforded me, I now owned about fifty per cent of it. I liked to think that meant I owned the kitchen, bathroom, my bedroom and the lounge room. I never thought I would have so much equity before I was even thirty and was so glad that I bought when I did. Unfortunately, my second bedroom was currently being occupied by my sister Ally.

A couple of months back, she broke up with the boyfriend she had been living with. She needed a place to stay so of course I offered. So did my parents. But she chose to come stay with me. I was kind of surprised at the time, because my parents would have let her stay for free whereas I made her pay for food and board. I was actually quite proud she made that decision. Ally has always had everything given to her by my parents and yet she chose to be independent, it was a sign that maybe she was finally growing up.

My parents only ever had the two of us and Ally is the baby of the family. We are very similar in appearance and four years apart in age. Although I am older than Ally, we look about the same age. We may be alike to look at, but in personalities we are sometimes miles apart. Ally is twenty-six, but a little immature. She is fun-loving and always looking for a good time, I’m boring and a homebody. She is also more outspoken and confident than I am and has a magical laugh that always gets attention.

When it comes to our looks it’s almost as if the imperfections I had were ironed out in those four years after I was born and perfected in Ally. She is taller than me with longer, more slender legs. She has a flawless complexion whereas I have too many freckles. We both have blue eyes. We both have blonde hair but hers is longer and lighter (though she goes to the hairdresser so often I’m not sure if it is completely natural in colour anymore). She has larger, rounder breasts, rounder hips and butt, and a flatter stomach. It’s not that think of myself as ugly, I really don’t think I am, but when I stand next to my sister I’m dull and plain in comparison.

I work hard to be financially independent and constantly feel like I have to try hard in everything. Ally just cruises through life, spending big, living large and things just happen for her. I love my sister but I can never overcome that jealousy, no matter how hard I try.

So my sister is living with me. It was only ever meant to be a temporary solution, but she moved in months ago and now I honestly think she has no intention of ever moving out. It was fun at first but I’m used to living on my own and I miss my solitude.

I stubbed out my cigarette and placed the butt in the ashtray outside the office door. I returned to my car, got in and wound the windows up. Gingerly touching the now slightly cooler steering wheel, I exited the car park.

Ally was currently working at a pub as a waitress and sometimes bar tender. I knew she wasn’t due to start work for another forty minutes. I just needed to find something else to do for a little while and then I could go home to an empty house.

I contemplated going to Maccas for a bite to eat but I wasn’t that hungry and the dull ache low in my belly reminded me that it was that time of the month. Even though it was the last thing I felt like doing, I turned the car arse-about and headed for the local Woolworths supermarket. I was running low on tampons as well as food at home and really needed to go grocery shopping. Knowing I was going to have a full day at work tomorrow meant that I would feel even less like doing the shopping late tomorrow night.

The heat hit me again when I got out of my car in the nearly empty car park, making my skin feel instantly sticky. This heatwave was meant to hang around for a few more days yet. Summer was in full force. It was actually a relief to enter the cool store. I grabbed a shopping trolley and found the shopping list I’d stashed in my bag before I left for work this morning.

The supermarket was pretty empty this time of night; most people, I guess, were already at home, plopped in front of their air conditioners, eating their dinner. When I entered the produce section I heard a loud giggle. Looking to my right, I saw a girl practically getting mauled by her boyfriend. She was loving it. It annoyed me. It’s not that I don’t tolerate a little ‘public display of affection’ but these two were over the top with theirs. He was nuzzling her neck, one hand on her arse, the other holding a shopping basket. She had her head tipped back in ecstasy as her hands moved down his back. I looked away and shoved my trolley forward with a huff.

I was cranky, cramping, sticky and dirty, tired, and in need of a shower and a lie down. After such a shitty day I knew the one thing that I needed the most, the only thing that could possibly make me feel even the teeniest bit better… something chocolatey. Wandering up the aisle I spotted them, the holy grail of chocolate biscuits, my saviour, Tim Tams. As I hastily grabbed hold of a packet so did someone else. In my greediness and one-tracked-mindedness I actually ripped the packet from their hand, literally snatched them away before tossing them in my trolley. Instantly I realised how rude I was being and quickly glanced in the person’s direction mumbling an apology.

You’re just lucky that wasn’t the last packet or you might’ve had a fight on your hands, a deep masculine voice spoke to me, the pitch of it making my whole body reverberate. Of course, I had to look at the person directly after a comment like that, a man after my own heart.

The first thing I noticed was the wide and friendly smile, with the almost perfect white teeth, on a hard-set jaw with just the right amount of delicious stubble. From there my gaze rapidly made its way up further to be met by even friendlier eyes of an indescribable colour and a perfectly arranged mop of wavy brown hair. He was gorgeous.

Lucky, I murmured, feeling a wave of desire run through me. I can’t remember the last time I felt a spark of attraction for a man. I sighed at the handsome sight in front of me, a smile breaking across my face. Look away. You’re making a fool of yourself with your dreamy stare. He let out a small throaty chuckle that was ever so sexy. Gah! What must he think of me?

He placed his own packet of Tim Tams into his trolley. I quickly walked away when his back was turned, hoping my heated face wasn’t as bright red as I imagined it to be.

In the next aisle, I again encountered the sickening couple that were over-the-top sweet to one another, this time they were arguing. It was not a regular argument, there was no anger involved, but instead it was an ‘I’m-being-nice-to-you-because-I-just-love-you-so-much’ kind of argument. Yep, sickening.

Only if you’re sure babe… no, no, I’m putting it back. Let’s get the one that you want, the girl said, placing a jar of spaghetti sauce back on the shelf and picking up another one.

It’s fine, let’s get the one you had, the guy said, smiling back to her and retrieving it again from the shelf.

This continued back and forth a couple more times with similar words as I waited for my turn to pick my own pasta sauce. The fact that I was standing only a metre or so away from them, blatantly staring at them, did not affect them in the slightest. I hoped that my sighing would work, but they seemed totally oblivious that they were holding me up while they continued to debate the merits of one pasta sauce over the other.

Eventually they picked a jar, put it in the basket the guy was holding and finally moved out of my way. As their backs turned I rolled my eyes at them and that’s when I noticed the set of beautiful eyes trained on me. Tim Tam guy was standing on the other side of the couple, presumably waiting to peruse the pasta section like me. He caught me mid eye roll and smiled, I returned his smile and went bright red, our eyes locked momentarily.

Fuck! I can’t believe he caught that! How embarrassing.

After you, he said. He took a couple of steps in my direction and motioned with his arm towards the shelves.

I tried not to notice the proximity of the good-looking Tim Tam guy as I collected two different jars of sauce and started reading the ingredients and instructions, comparing them. Both our trolleys were behind us, effectively sandwiching us together between them. He moved a little closer and leaned in my direction.

That one, he said, tapping the jar of sauce in my left hand.

Really? I asked sceptically, looking up to him and wrinkling my nose. He had pointed to the jar I was just about to return to the shelf. I looked back at the two sauces and then back to the handsome man in front of me.

Trust me.

He gave me a slight nod, a sexy smirk that had my insides twitching, then reached in front of me to grab his own jar of said sauce from the shelf. For some reason I wanted to believe this attractive stranger.

He glanced at me once more, with a small smile playing on his lips, before moving over to place his purchase in his trolley. Then he pushed his trolley past mine, heading in the direction opposite to where I was going. I got a good look at the back of him, he was wearing tan cargo shorts and a navy blue t-shirt. His shoulders were broad and his waist narrow. The t-shirt was just short enough for me to check out his butt, which was rather nice, too. He had muscular looking tanned legs and was wearing thongs on his feet.

Damn he’s hot… I doubt he’s single.

I chose the recommended jar, returned the other to the shelf and grabbed a pack of spaghetti noodles.

When I rounded the corner to the next aisle, he was there again. We were essentially criss-crossing through the store. I grabbed some garbage bags and moved my trolley along, giving him a small smile from where I’d stopped in front of the dishwashing liquid. I couldn’t help myself, I looked in his direction, watching him as he grabbed something from the top shelf. He barely had to stretch to get it; he was a lot taller than me.

Most full grown adults were.

I barely scraped the five foot mark, he must be nearing six feet, maybe more. He glanced in my direction and I quickly looked away. But not for long. My eyes drifted back to him moments later and I could see from his side profile that a grin was adorning his face. His eyes drifted my way again and I quickly turned, grabbed the dishwashing liquid and pushing my trolley further toward him.

I tried to concentrate on the shopping list in my hand, but I couldn’t ignore his presence when he got closer. I moved my trolley a little and stood in front of the laundry detergent, pretending that I didn’t already know exactly which product I was going to buy, and tried to discreetly watch him instead.

The overly loved-up couple from earlier were coming down the aisle in the same direction as Tim Tam guy and my eyes were unfortunately distracted by them as they constantly touched and kissed each other while walking. It looked awkward and I couldn’t tear my eyes away when they went past, again totally oblivious to my presence. I was turning back to my trolley when I realised that Tim Tam guy had stopped just metres away and was looking in my direction. Our eyes met again briefly.

Of course the laundry detergent I always buy had been relocated to the top shelf. I knew I was too short to get it but I reached for it anyway. I was on my tippy toes, stretched to my limit and still not even close to grabbing it, when I felt Tim Tam guy standing directly behind me.

Let me get that for you, he said in a deep sexy voice.

Thanks, that’d be great. I moved aside for him.

He reached the top shelf with ease and my eyes momentarily drifted to his tightly encased arse, before looking up to see him grabbing the wrong detergent.

No, the pink one please, I quickly instructed him. He moved his hand to the right and grabbed the correctly fragranced detergent for me.

There you go, he said, handing the bottle to me. Our fingers touched as we both held onto it for a moment and our eyes locked again.

Thank you, I said, as he let go.

You’re welcome. He gave me a slight smile before looking away and walking back to his trolley.

I glanced in his direction again when I realised he hadn’t yet moved. He was standing still and watching me. It didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, but I did feel shy and so I just smiled back timidly before pushing my trolley away. It took everything in me not to turn around but I realised there was nothing more I needed in that aisle so I reluctantly turned the corner.

Without looking up I immediately felt his presence yet again when he turned the corner at the opposite end of the next aisle. I tried not to look at him too much as I went about my business.

He’s probably married. He wouldn’t be interested in me. I really need to stop day-dreaming!

He stopped halfway down. He had his trolley blocking the way and as I approached him my heart started to palpitate while I tried to figure out how I was going to get past. I stopped with my trolley almost touching his, but before I had the chance to say excuse me he pulled his trolley toward his body.

No wedding ring! Could he be single?

Sorry, he said with a bright smile in my direction, he looked as if he wanted to say something more but then quickly looked away. I couldn’t find my voice so I just nodded and smiled back at him, continuing past.

Huh! Maybe he was just as shy as me!

That thought somehow boosted my confidence. When I made it down the next aisle we crossed paths again. I smiled widely at him which made him smile even wider back at me. We both came to a stop, our trolleys side by side as we shopped opposite each other.

We have to stop meeting like this, I joked.

He laughed and then we had to move both of our trolleys to make way for the ‘cutesy’ couple to get through. When I turned to face him he was already moving off toward the end of the aisle. I watched him, more than a little disappointed, when he turned the corner without looking back at me.

Probably not single.

Moments later, on the very next bend, I turned the corner, too quickly and crashed my trolley head on into his.

Sorry. We instinctively spoke at the same time before we both burst out laughing.

What did he do, speed down that last aisle?

"We really do have to stop meeting like this," he said between chuckles.

We both quieted down, untangled our trolleys and started to move past one another. I racked my brain trying to think of something more to say to the handsome Tim Tam guy but couldn’t for the life of me come up with any words.

We had come to the end of the store, the last aisle. I was more than a little disappointed that I would probably never see this man again. As I started emptying my items onto the conveyor belt at the cash register, I tried not to look all over the store for him. I didn’t want to appear desperate, but I desperately wanted to catch another glimpse of him before he left.

I suddenly felt like someone was watching me and turned to my right to find that he was at a register a couple of lines down. His eyes quickly returned to his groceries and to the task at hand and I figured I was being ridiculous.

I mean, the guy is gorgeous. Totally out of my league. He’d be better suited to my sister. We shared a couple of looks, probably meaningless. We smiled a couple of times, had a laugh. So what? Now he’s probably going home to his girlfriend.

I decided not to give it another thought and turned my attention to loading the bags of groceries back into my trolley and paying the lady at the register. As soon as I left the store I dug around the bags to find my packet of Tim Tams. I really needed them now! I ripped them open and placed them on top of my handbag in the child’s seat of my trolley. Taking my first bite, I couldn’t suppress a moan of appreciation leaking from my lips. I savoured the flavour, chewing slowly, then took another bite.

I steered my trolley in the direction of my car and almost immediately rammed it into Tim Tam guy. He was leaning against the wall of the front of the store with his trolley at his side. He had an open packet of Tim Tams in one hand and a half-eaten biscuit in the other and he was openly gaping at me. He was completely still, as if he was frozen in time. We were close, only my trolley separating us. After a moment of staring at each other he started chewing again and held up his packet of biscuits, toasting me. I grabbed my packet and imitated his gesture. He smiled and nodded as he continued to chew. I watched his throat for a moment as he swallowed before clearing mine and popping the last of my biscuit in my mouth.

Great minds think alike, he said.

I couldn’t respond with a mouthful of chocolate biscuit. I tried really hard not to break into a smile. The last thing I needed was to dribble or splutter out chocolate in front of this guy. I tried,