Amish Home: False Worship - Book 3: Amish Faith (False Worship) Series, #3

False Worship – Book 3

By

Rachel Stoltzfus

This is Book 3 of the False Worship series. If you enjoy this book, please look over the other Christian books from Global Grafx Press, and other great books from Rachel Stoltzfus.

Published by Global Grafx Press, LLC. © 2014

The Pennsylvania Dutch used in this manuscript is taken from the Revised Pennsylvania German Dictionary: English to Pennsylvania Dutch (1991) by C. Richard Beam, Brookshire Publications, Inc. Lancaster, PA 17603

The Bible quotations used in this manuscript are either taken from the King James Bible or the English Standard Bible.

Copyright © 2014 by Rachel Stoltzfus

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including scanning, photocopying, or otherwise without prior written permission of the copyright holder, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

BOOK 3

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

BOOK 4

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

BOOK 3

CHAPTER ONE

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.—Matthew 6:33-34

Daed, are you alright? It wasn’t the first time I had asked him the question, but his stillness filled me with fear.

I’m afraid for my father’s sanity, as he sits beside me, gazing out the car window at the wooded foothills whizzing by.  He’s very quiet, still might be the right word, and somber. His face, the set of his jaw and mostly the sadness in his gaze disturbed my peace. I know why he’s like this; a lot has happened over the last year and a half. The death of my sister; my mamm’s death, the Grabers . . . all of these events had taken my daed from being happy in being alive and in the light of the Lord to what I see now – a man haunted, isolated and silent.

He was determined to press on; that’s our way. But, I fear his joy in life and the certainness of God’s love has been shaken if not shattered.

Is it for him that you fear this horrible transformation or yourself? I honestly don’t know at this point, and as we go forth to Hope Crossing in Lancaster County, I hoped we are leaving behind the sadness, grief, lost dignity and friends. Ahead, I prayed lies the future and the light of God’s holy presence a surety in our lives once again.

We should make it by nightfall, folks. Our driver, Mark had tried to make polite conversation when we started out—weather, crops, global warming – that kind of stuff. But my daed had replied with one word responses, and the conversation had dwindled away into silence. Mark seemed the adaptable type which was good in the driving business, and probably only voiced the update about our arrival, because he heard me talking. I guess, if his passengers wanted conversation, he would provide it; if they preferred silence, he seemed to adapt to that as well.

I’m Mennonite, he had replied to my query earlier on. Mark could have been Amish if one were to go by looks alone. He was tall, broad shouldered, with a crop of blondish hair stuffed up under a baseball cap with a logo I didn’t recognize. A man possessed of an easy smile that spread up to a twinkle in his gaze, a chuckle in his voice, pleasant to ride with, even in silence.

But even with the most affable of drivers, taking us to our new home and new start in Hope Crossing in Lancaster County, I remained fearful that my father was carrying all that hurtful history from our old home. Maybe, it was just me projecting, but at the very least, I know that he’s got to still be hurting from what happened back home with that terrible woman and her horrible sons.  I knew he felt betrayed, used, fooled; and he should feel that way, because he was betrayed, used, and fooled.

We were fools, I guess, he said softly as if he had heard my thoughts. He didn’t looked my way, just made the announcement as if it was a weather forecast and then returned to silence. After a few minutes, he continued, They made us almost abandon each other, and we’re the only family we have left. But, God saw us through, and he will continue to walk beside us into our new life. My daed continued to look out the window.

I can’t say I was fooled completely; I suspected them all along, I can say that now without any undue pridefulness.  Ruthie, almost had me convinced she was a kind woman and loving mother.

I heard him sigh, but then he patted my hand. We will get through this too, my daughter. Wait and see. Things are going to be better.

Things always get better; it just takes time. Mark added from the front seat. I’m not listening, but I can’t help knowing that you folks have had a rough go of it. Hopefully, you will be okay, now. You’re nice folks; you deserve a break.

My daed almost smiled, Denki, for your kind words. It was common knowledge what had happened in Smicksberg, and at this point neither of us were surprised by Mark’s knowledge. But at least he was sympathetic which is more than I can say for some of our neighbors.

Ruthie managed to pull the wool over my eyes a bit, even if her so-called sons never really did.  Still, I guess a fool is a fool, and I know now that I didn’t have nearly as strong a grip on understanding my fellow man as I thought I did.  Since then I’ve had experiences that should make a young woman keenly aware and well-prepared to spot the dangers in life, and the looming losses that linger around every corner.

In short, I should now know better.

Maybe, we should have stayed, my daed said after a turn. My daed and I know the extent of what we’re leaving behind; selling and leaving our home, my daed’s smith shop, what few friends we had left, all of our memories.

The Grabers stole great sums and conned many in our community. You can’t really blame people for holding you responsible for bringing her into the fold.

I would have thought John Beiler, at least would have understood.

John Beiler, one of my daed’s longtime customers and friend had given Ruthie Graber a lot of money to go to the city and purchase three, new wooden looms for his wife’s business; he had trusted her because of my daed. She had offered to get them, because his wife had picked them out of a catalog Ruthie had provided. We are a trusting people. It was a trick, and the money had disappeared along with the rest of the community’s money in a variety of scams. When they were arrested, the money was nowhere to be found, and my daed was left holding the bag.

My daed felt responsible for all their wrongs; the community questioned his judgment. They were cordial, but business slowed, and finally, it had dried up completely. Trust was powerful in the Amish community, and they had lost trust in my daed.

I guess it doesn’t matter that we were taken advantage of, too? I had asked my daed, tears streaming down my face. This was the only home I had ever known.

I saw the agony in my daed’s eyes at my words and immediately regretted them. We must leave, my daughter. My name is no good here now. I brought those people into our community. It was as if the evil from the Grabers had slid off onto us and stuck like fungus.

I know, daed. What could I do?

It’s probably best that we left when we did, my daed was talking quietly interrupting my reverie. How had he known that’s what I was thinking? I know you’ve never left Smicksberg, but I feel that we are headed into happier times. And, we can do good works and help Aunt Sarah, too.

That’s true, I guess. I just don’t trust things like I used to. I see the world as it is, not like the Amish community thinks it should be. And the world I see is savage, dark, frightening and dangerous. Maybe, I should not think that way, Where before I was trusting, now I trust no one save my daed and God.

As is says in Micah 7:5-6: Put no trust in a neighbor; have no confidence in a friend; guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your arms; for the son treats the father with contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house.

You should not lose your trust completely, daughter. This past couple of years has been trying on both of us; these last few months particularly so, but we are here. We are stronger and my faith is stronger than it has ever been.

My faith in God has not changed, daed. It is my faith in people that has diminished. I expected he might scold me for saying this, but it was the truth. I am courteous to everyone, pleasant even. But I’m watchful of everything and everyone. I trust God will protect me, but I also believe that God expects me to help and protect myself, too.

That is not uncommon, although the way you’ve grown in these past few months, I wouldn’t wish on anybody. But, unfortunately, faith in your fellow man wanes and flows based on circumstance. What remains constant, our rock if you will, is God’s never ending love and support of us mere mortals as we go about our lives.

I knew I was plagued by fear; it wass a constant specter walking beside me. My carefree innocence had been lost during my flight from the Graber boys in the woods not far from my old home. I had faced my death, and God had rescued me from their clutches. Fear, fear, go away. Come again another day.

When they came so close, ready to snuff out my existence, things seemed to move in slow motion. I thought about how I must have fallen from God’s grace to wind up in this position, that my outspokenness and lack of humility had finally done me in and that maybe, God had abandoned me when I needed him most.  I thought about the grief I would leave behind, and that it would sink another stone in my father’s soul. But my faith in God remained unwavering even in the darkest of times, and He had delivered me.

I know what you mean, daed. I guess the Grabers aged me.

"Evil has a way of doing that. You must also