A View from the Rainbow

Introduction

Every time I read that a comment about how my first book, Annette Opens the Door, is bringing understanding and peace to people regarding death and dying, it validates why I wrote it. I do suggest that you read my first book before you read this one.

Acknowledgements

This book is dedicated to my husband Ed, also to Annette’s three wonderful siblings, Elaine, Edward and Barbara who will always be a huge part of my life.

I also wish to acknowledge, validate, appreciate and thank my family on the other side, my mother and grandmother, but most especially my daughter Annette, who is the inspiration for this book and its contents.

Prologue

I was talking to very dear friend and colleague recently and she asked me if I believe so strongly in reincarnation, how has that belief changed or affected me and my life? That question made me stop and think about all the insights and information that I have accumulated over the past few months, the things I have written about and shared with others. Personally for me, I feel I have been blessed to have had glimpses of what some of my past lives were. Oh! Not blow by blow pictures or information, but the sense that I have been here before, done this before or knew this person before. I have had very vivid dreams where I see myself in another time and place and it is oh so familiar to me, so much so that when I awake I have to stay quiet for a few minutes to allow my mind to slow down and re-enter the world I am in right now. When I went to a psychic in Sedona, Arizona, for a past life reading many years ago, I was amazed to hear myself talking with such clarity about a place I had never been, interacting with people I recognized as being friends and family in my current life. I was with this woman for over an hour and I never once felt that she asked me leading questions or manipulated me in any way. After my session was over, she gave me the tape of my session which I listened to many times. Each time I listened to it I realized that what was being shown to me was the realization that people in my life now are people who have been with me throughout many lifetimes. The information I learned gave me food for thought because before I went for this past life reading I couldn’t or wouldn’t believe that this was possible.

As I have developed and grown in my belief regarding the validity (for me) about reincarnation, I began reading books and talking to people who had experiences with past lives. I came to know I had lived in the time of Jesus and was a follower of his, not one of the disciples, but definitely someone who lived in the time he preached and taught. I know I lived in Greece at sometime, and I also lived in India, as well as Egypt, I have a strong affinity to these places and am fascinated with their history. I am also drawn to eighteenth century England, with their beautiful gowns and costumes. All the stories about royalty and court intrigue fascinate me so I tend to avidly read books about this period of British history. A psychic friend of mine told me that I had drowned in a previous life and that is why I have trouble with my chest; this would certainly explain why I don’t like being in a pool or any kind of body of water. It also helps me to understand why I don’t like to go out on boats even though I am a good swimmer I do not like to be surrounded by water.

I am also fascinated with religion and papal history, so much so that I feel I must have been involved in that whole scenario in some way shape or form. I tend to read historical books on the popes and the history of Roman Catholicism, all in an effort to understand why I am also drawn to this particular period in history. Unfortunately I don’t think I have ever been a pope or a famous figure or an Egyptian princess as far as I know.

What is a very concrete and real experience for me is when I see, read or hear something and have that moment of déjà vu, which is so real I can actually see myself there. I have been in old houses and know I have been there before; this is especially true when I go home to England for a visit and my husband and I visit some old castles or homes. When we visited Glastonbury in England four years ago it was definitely somewhere that I felt a strong feeling of familiarity with. As we walked down the narrow alleyways and visited the new age shops loving all the smells, sights and sounds we encountered, I had such a sense of having been there before that I knew it was a place and memory I definitely want to visit again.

None of what I do today feels new to me, I know I have been here before and done so many things before that I am in this place where what I am doing feels like a comfortable pair of slippers that make your walking seem like floating. Is it possible in a past life I was a seer, someone who others came to for counsel, I feel that could be a strong possibility. This memory just came back to me; many years ago I asked my husband what he thought I would be if I had a career in addition to being a wife and mother. His answer didn’t surprise me as it was something I had a natural gift or talent for. He said I should have been a counselor, because that’s what I do now with no training or certification.

He’s right that is similar to what I am doing now, only I use tarot cards as the doorway to the other side, to connect families so they know their loved one is at peace and not suffering or in pain any more. This connection brings closure, comfort and peace to people who are hurting.

Chapter One

In my first book, Annette Opens the Door, I shared how in 2007 Annette began sending me messages from the other side. The messages came through someone I met when I was in England, who also happened to be a medium. After my book was published, Annette sent me a message through the same medium, encouraging me to begin writing the next book, to share more about all that I have been privileged to learn and experience. This second book, she said, would deal more with reincarnation, the bible, and readings that back up the message that death is not the end. It is these experiences and lessons that have brought me to a deeper awareness in my own growth and maturity.

I recently read this statement which touched me deeply. A person that loses a partner is called a widower. A child who loses a parent is called an orphan. But there is no word to describe a parent that loses a child, because the loss of a child is like no other. It makes no difference the age of your child when they pass, it is still a pain like no other because all your hopes, dreams and expectations you had for your child, die with them. I always remember my grandmother standing at my mothers grave and crying saying parents are not supposed to bury their children, children are supposed to bury their parents. I totally agree with her statement. Having buried one of my own children I can tell you it is one of the hardest and most traumatic things you will ever do. So, what do you call parents who have lost a child? I have never figured this out nor has any professional councilor been able to tell me what they thought grieving parents should be called. It is only another parent who has walked the walk that you have that can truly say they understand your sorrow, pain and grief, plus the sense of loss you feel, no matter how long it has been since your child died.

When my first book was published, I could see written in black and white, the metamorphosis I have been going through. Because of the death of my child at age ten, my life went into a tailspin; I was searching for some meaning and direction and went through many different and soul searching years. At this time I was of the mindset that God was up in his/her heaven and as long as he/she didn’t bother me I wasn’t about to bother him/her. After Annette’s death my thinking changed and I went from being a stay at home mom with a nominal belief in God, to making religion my crutch, according to my family and especially my kids. I was quoting scripture at all my friends and really believed that the bible had all the answers, it was all black and white no gray areas for me. I realize in looking back that I was attempting to do all the right things but doing them without any real emotional attachment or belief. I was desperately seeking for some reason for my child’s death and for a direction for my life.

After many years my journey took me into the realm of being a gung ho roman catholic, one who had said too many people that unless they were catholic they were not going to get into heaven (shudder). I went to church every Sunday and made sure our children attended their CCD classes, I even began teaching religion classes myself. When I think back on this time in my life I am a little embarrassed to think of the things I said and did that made it seem like I had all the answers, and that being catholic was the only road to heaven. What has changed for me is that I now believe there are many roads that lead to heaven, we are not all on the same road but our destination is the same. I do not believe that any one religion has all the answers. We are all on the same journey just taking different scenic routes, but all ending up in the same place. We are all seeking the same God or higher power, an acknowledgement that our lives mean something and that we are here for a reason.

After this it was my holy roller phase which was a time of great spiritual growth as I devoured the bible and tried to learn all I could about the scriptures. I don’t like to think about how narrow minded I was that I believed that everything that was in the bible was true and you did not question any of it but took it at face value, and admonished friends and family for what I deemed their lack of faith when they would have discussions on whether this or that could have happened. I was so deeply entrenched in scripture and religion that if something was in the bible it had to be true, there was no room for any gray areas. It was all either black or white, no middle ground or seesawing back and forth. You either believed or you didn’t. No fence sitting in this phrase of my growth. I can say now, in hindsight looking back, that I firmly believe this was all planned out for me. I was supposed to study and become immersed in the scriptures. I was on a mission to learn what they truly meant for me and not believe what someone else told me they should mean.

This phase of my journey lasted approximately fourteen years during which I learned a lot about scripture and theology, studied the bible, and got an associates degree in scripture and theology. I had a hunger to learn as much as I could and in so doing became so heavenly minded I was no earthly good. By that I mean that I did nothing but read religious books and immerse myself in religious seminars and all things that would include being covered in what I termed as a blanket of holiness. It’s a wonder my family even spoke to me during this time, my sister used to call me a Jesus freak, and my own kids thought I had gone off the deep end. I have to say that I experienced a renewal of my faith, and felt as if I was walking on air, I was like a sponge soaking up every bit of learning that I could. The presence of God was no longer something others told me about, but rather something I could feel and sense. My whole being felt alive and on fire with an awareness of God in such a way that it felt good to be alive. So much energy and information was filling my senses that I knew in my heart, the divine presence was real and I was actually being made so aware of it that my whole body shook with the knowledge of it. I believed with all my heart that what Jesus had spoken to Nicodemus in the garden was absolutely true, you had to be born again (there’s that statement that I will discuss in detail later in this book) in order to follow him and become one of his disciples. Just as Nicodemus didn’t understand what Jesus meant, neither do we. It’s not until we learn just what being born again means that we begin to get an understanding of Jesus’ message and its importance for each and every one of us.

My next moment of grace was to learn about guilt, you know what I mean, the must go to church or be a sinner phase. Being made to feel ashamed and guilty if you didn’t attend mass every Sunday or go to confession where the priest would tell you that you had to perform a certain penance for your sins. As a convert to Roman Catholicism I could never understand how saying certain prayers could absolve you from sin or how going to a priest as an intermediary between God and myself could free me from the covering of sin. Why couldn’t I go directly to God myself and tell him what was in my heart. If he truly sees all things then he knows all about my sins before I even voice them and continues to love me anyway. For the longest time I never heard any mention of the love of God or forgiveness preached from the pulpit, only hell and damnation, fear and incrimination. Where were all the messages of love, mercy and compassion that Jesus taught?

I finally came to the realization as I sat in church one Sunday morning that I was being controlled like a puppet, following the rules and decrees of the Catholic Church, where I was being told what to believe and doing what I was told to do. For me at this time in my journey there was no real connection anymore to the religion I was practicing, surely this was not what the spirit planned for God’s people? My feeling at the time was that I was going to a building where I sat and listened to someone tell me what to do and feel and think, there was no longer any sense of community or belonging for me. I was questioning everything, where was my sense of independence, my ability to make decisions for myself?

Around this time I began to hear some very disturbing things about the priests from my parish who were celebrating the Eucharist every Sunday. The same priest, who had instructed me in my catechism and baptized me into the catholic faith, left the priesthood to get married.

A total of three priests from the church we belonged to all left the institution of the church. One priest got married to a nun who taught in the school affiliated with the church, while the others became involved in lay life. It was also at this time when the first rumors started circulating about pedophiles in the church, priests preying on young boys. All of this happened in a very short period of time, it left me wondering if the priests and religious were also unhappy with the way things were in the church, and then, what does that say to those of us who sit in the pews and listen to them preaching. The exodus of priests and nuns had begun.

Then in July of 1976, while pregnant with our youngest daughter, my husband and I went on a marriage encounter weekend. It was on this weekend I was told that I was the church, not the building or the priest or minister, or the ruling body of the church, but me. That statement made a tremendous impact on how I viewed my faith, not religion, but faith. I knew in that moment I had been given a tremendous gift, a moment of clarity in my spiritual journey, a moment of clear thinking. It was this statement that helped bring me to the place where I am now. This is a place in my life where I am being encouraged by family and friends to nurture my psychic gifts as a medium and tarot card reader.

It has been, and continues to be, a long and winding road with a lot of soul searching and questions, to get to where I am now. Without any doubt I can honestly state that I wouldn’t change anything I have been through because it has been these blessings and graces that have made me who and what I am today. I believe that there is a God, someone who is my higher power. How can you look out at the universe and see all the cosmos and the beauty of the sky, or at a beautiful field full of flowers, or the miracle