Puns Spooken Here: Word Play for Halloween
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A. Spare ribs.
Q. What was the witch's favorite subject in school?
A. Spelling.
Q. What kind of horse does a ghost ride?
A. A night mare.
Q. How does an exorcist keep in shape?
A. He rides an exorcycle.
Richard Lederer
Richard Lederer is the author of a shelf of books on language and grammar, including, most recently, The Bride of Anguished English. He cohosts weekly radio program on NPR in San Diego, and speaks throughout the country. He lives in San Diego, California.
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Puns Spooken Here - Richard Lederer
Puns Spooken Here
Word Play for Halloween
Richard Lederer
Illustrations by Jim McLean
Puns Spooken Here
Word Play for Halloween
Digital Edition 1.0
Text © 2014 Richard Lederer
Illustrations © 2014 Jim McLean
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any means whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, except brief portions quoted for purpose of review.
Gibbs Smith
P.O. Box 667
Layton, Utah 84041
Orders: 1.800.835.4993
www.gibbs-smith.com
ISBN: 978-1-4236-1058-8
To Stan Kegel, a true servant of punnery.
Puns Spooken Here
Table of Contents
I A Feast of Halloween Puns II A Ghost Graduate Course III Funny Bones IV Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous V Word Prey in a Jugular Vein VI Puns That Keep Us in Stitches VII More Movie Monsters VIII Ghoulishness Acknowledgments Also by Richard Lederer
I A Feast of Halloween Puns
You may well have heard the seasonal prey upon words What do you call an empty hot dog?
Answer: A hollow weenie.
But you may not have realized how capacious is the tricky treat bag of Halloween puns. There’s something about the lore of Halloween that inspires tour de farces at the highest level of punnery. What this book will offer you is a veritable Bill of Frights.
Punnery is largely the trick of compacting two or more ideas within a single word or expression. Punnery challenges us to apply the greatest pressure per square syllable of language. Punnery surprises us by flouting the law of nature that pretends that two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Punnery is an exercise of the mind at being concise. Punnery is a rewording experience.
Let’s start by cooking up a punderful menu for Halloween. I know you won’t be able to resist goblin up this full-corpse meal. Bone appetit!
Grains
Ghost Toasties
Scream of Wheat
Pentagram Crackers
Brain Muffins with Poisonbury Jam
Entrees
Hungarian Ghoul Ash
Frank ’n’ Stein
Halloweenie
Black Catfish
Stake Sandwitch
Littleneck Clams
Warlocks and Bagels
Grave-y with Scream Cheese
Side Dishes
Spook-ghetti
Deviled