When the Real Thing Comes Along

CHAPTER 1

At first Jacelynn actually thought that she was hallucinating. She figured that her mind must be playing tricks on her. One minute she was going through her normal church routine: making sure there were enough programs for the service, verbalizing assignments for the youth assistants, etc. The next minute she was struggling not to pass out at the sight of a blast from her past. Swaying slightly, Jacelynn leaned against the wall and signaled to one of the other ushers that she needed to be relieved from her post. Since the service hadn’t even started yet, Latonya, the little teenage girl that took her place, made it clear that she was being put out. Ten minutes later, after chugging a glass of ice water in the fellowship hall and holding her head between her knees, Jacelynn returned to her position at the rear entrance of the church.

She stood there, confident that the dim lighting in the sanctuary had caused her to see something, or rather someone, that wasn’t there. She tried to smile and greet people as they walked through the church doors but her nerves were so shaken that she gave up. Finally, she worked up the courage to look for him in the crowd of people already seated. She recognized him instantly. She would know the back of that head anywhere.

The minister of music fired up the organ and the praise leaders took their places at the front of the church. Jacelynn’s heart dropped and her lungs felt like they were about to collapse. This time she didn’t bother to signal Latonya. She simply walked over to the first pew she saw and sagged onto it.

Taking slow shallow breaths, she continued to sit there as people sung, shouted, fell out and recovered. All she could see was the back of that head in a sea of heads. An hour and forty-five minutes later she still hadn’t moved. But, she knew that she had to get out of there before that head turned around.

The door to her freedom was about sixty feet away. If she moved quickly she could easily make it out of the church and into the sanctuary of her car in one minute flat. Her heart beat fast against her rib cage as Pastor Greer finished up the benediction, In the precious name of your holy Son . . . Jacelynn grabbed her purse and took a shallow breath. By the time ‘amen’ drifted from the lips of fellow worshipers she was pushing the plexi-glass doors open while disgracefully sprinting across the parking lot.

With shaking hands she turned the ignition of her 2011 Honda Civic. She exited the parking lot with little regard for oncoming traffic, barely noticing the screeching brakes that echoed in her wake. On autopilot Jacelynn mashed the gas pedal and merged onto the 91 Freeway. She ignored the indignant honks and focused on trying to regulate her breathing as she deftly changed lanes in the light Sunday afternoon traffic. Ten minutes later she jerked her car into the underground garage of her apartment, threw the gear shift into park, and ran through the courtyard. She was completely oblivious to the snickers from the teenage boys admiring the sight of her behind bouncing slightly as she bounded up the stairs. Once she was safely inside, she locked the door and closed her curtains to the blinding Southern California sun. Slumping onto the couch she kicked off her stilettos.

He’d finally found her. Not that she’d been hiding; he simply hadn’t been looking in the right places.

Until now.

In the stillness of her living room, with only the hum of the antiquated window air conditioning unit doing its best to battle the dry Los Angeles heat, Jacelynn allowed herself to think.

Now that she had escaped, she realized that her reaction to seeing him seemed a bit extreme. He was only a man. No big deal. Glancing down at her hands, she wondered when the shaking would stop. This was silly. She didn’t even know for sure that it was him. Cautiously, she decided to entertain this slim possibility that it was him. Quickly searching in her purse, she located her cell phone and hit four on speed dial.

Hey Jason. Her voice sounded strange; too high, and almost hysterical. She cleared her throat and tried again. Um, it’s me. There, that was much better. Her voice only cracked on ‘me.’

Baby?

Feeling stupid, she tried to swallow the sudden lump in her throat. How could he put so much concern into one dumb pet name?

Yeah? Now her voice sounded thick, as if she was talking to him underwater.

Are you all right?

She wasn’t anywhere near all right and she wouldn’t be until he gave her some information. Deciding that avoiding the question was her best option she asked, Did the guy from your lecture show up at church today? She gave herself a mental pat on the back. She sounded normal, casual and maybe even a little blasé.

Yeah, and I thought you agreed to go out with us after the service.

Sure she had. But when she agreed, she’d had no idea that she would involve herself in some sort of twisted threesome. Oh, um that fell through.

Obviously. Lynn, you okay?

She was okay when she got up this morning, but when she saw her current boyfriend walk into church with her ex-boyfriend, something she thought had long since healed, broke. Now she was oozing all over the place. However, there was one small hope. What was that guy’s name again?

Taylor. Why?

Confirmed, it had been him. Feeling like a criminal with eleven votes of guilty, she still ridiculously held out hope. What’s his last name?

Bradshaw.

So, that was that. Taylor Bradshaw. Her first real boyfriend. Truth be told, he was her first real everything. What did this mean? Did it mean anything? Wait, Jason was still talking and he sounded irritated.

. . . so we’re on our way there now if you want to meet us there.

Meet who where? What?

"I said that Taylor and I are on our way to M & M’s if you want to meet us there."

Both of you are going?

"Yes . . . . We are going to eat . . . at M & M’s . . . right now."

You don’t have to talk to me like I’m slow. This was crazy. This was beyond crazy. Had he seen her? Did he know that she was Jason’s girlfriend? The constant e-mails were weird enough, but this–this was borderline stalking. He was going out to lunch with her man!

I’m sorry. You’re acting funny. You left right after church when we’d already had plans and now you sound strange.

I know. I’m tripping. Should she tell him about this insane situation? Maybe he would be in danger if she didn’t. This was a Barbara Walter’s special waiting to happen. She could see it. She’d be dabbing her eyes with a Kleenex while Barbara lisped, You mean it never even occurred to you that this guy might be dangerous?

Jason’s baritone interrupted her interview and he sounded more irritated. I gotta go. I need to find out if my cousin is working today if we want the hook-up on a table in this crowd.

Okay, but be careful Jay.

"It’s not that crowded. Are you coming?"

Was she coming? If she could stop shaking, she would. But it didn’t look like that was going to happen anytime soon. No, she was going to be a coward and let her innocent boyfriend sit down to lunch with her apparently deranged ex-boyfriend.

Uh . . . no, I don’t think so. I need some me time. He would let her off the hook now. They used the phrase when they needed time alone to process something. It meant that however they were acting the other person couldn’t take it personally.

I feel you.

Come by after you eat. She needed to see him, and she needed to let him know some things. Things she’d rather forget.

* * *

When I first met him I had one of those movie moments–time stood still and then the world started to reawaken in slow motion. It was like all but the breath between us disappeared and it was just me and him . . . us. He was good at moments like that; good at making me feel like nothing mattered but us. He was good at showing me that one moment in time could seem like eternity. I know all of this sounds like one big cliché, but clichés come about from truth. When I first laid eyes on him I knew that he was the one I had been waiting for.

It hadn’t been a long wait. I was a sheltered, shy and quiet eighteen-year-old. I went straight home from school every day, told the truth about where I was going, and came home before my curfew every night. I was the type of girl that never even tried weed or took one drink. I was the girl that listened when my mother said keep your eyes open and your legs shut.

My eyes were wide open the night I invited Taylor into my life. It was at the end of one of those parties that starts out with what seems like hundreds of people, but turns mellow before midnight. I was ready to go but my best friend, Kim, wasn’t. She was trying to finalize the hook up with a guy from her history class. Meanwhile, I was waiting on a ratty couch in the dark living room with a guy I knew I would never see again, wishing that I was at home watching Lifetime movies. That’s when I saw him.

He walked past me through the sliding glass doors into the backyard. Something about the gracefulness of his long strides, made me get up and follow him while the guy on the couch was still running his mouth.

The sound of Usher singing about how to tell if you got it bad muffled to a slow thumping bass as I closed the patio doors behind me. I waved away the sweet smell of weed as I stepped around a few people smoking and lounging on the mismatched patio furniture.

I trailed him across the large backyard where the only sound was the loud swishing of the dozen or so palm trees waltzing in the fall winds. Both of our steps were silent in the soft mushy grass. I felt strange following him without saying anything, but I wanted him to sense me behind him. I wanted to know if the crazy magnetism I was feeling was working on him too. But there was a different force drawing him that night. One that I would contend with at a later time, in another place, with a lot more to lose.

He rounded the corner. Hearing another girl’s laughter, I stopped short. Jealousy fell over me like a scratchy blanket, offering protection from the elements, but bruising to the wearer. I stood there listening to the creak of a lawn chair as he sat down, then the air pop of an aluminum can opening. They giggled together as they drank the beer he’d brought back from the house. Soon I could hear the soft smacking noises of kissing and heavy breathing.

I’ve got to go. Her voice was high and her tone whining. Plus, what makes you think you’re getting any after the way you treated me? There wasn’t any sense of playfulness in her words: she sounded more like a mother scolding a wayward child.

His sigh swept across the wind and I swear I felt its warmth on my cheek as it flew by. I thought we were cool on all that now.

His voice, oh God, his voice. I closed my eyes and conjured up images of dusty red roads and the scent of magnolia trees. I felt hot humid summer nights and heard blues and jazz in his tone.

Her voice stepped all over my nerves as she spoke again. You don’t accuse your girlfriend of cheating and not speak to her for a week, then expect that everything is cool.

Alicia, I told you I was sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s just that you’re never around. He sounded wounded and tired, as if they’d had this same conversation a hundred times before.

I do have a life. I didn’t come to school to be your girlfriend, Taylor. I’m here to handle my business. This is the start of our junior year and I don’t have time to play games with you. I need to keep my grades up and get that internship if I want to get into the graduate program of my choice.

I know all that. You know I like how you hold it down. But where are you when I call at 1:00 in the morning?

What are you doing calling me that late anyway? Do I seem like a jump off chick to you? Anyway, I’m asleep. Like normal people. Even I knew she was lying. It’s funny how even the slightest hesitation can give away the truth.

That’s not what your roommate said and that’s not what I’m hearing from my boys.

She smacked her lips, and I could imagine her neck rolling as she retorted, My roommate is a hater and a known liar. She needs to get a life and stop trying to sabotage mine. As far as your boys go, half of them want to get at me themselves, so yeah they’re gonna tell you some mess like that. Look, I don’t have time for this. Besides you know I’m not going to do anything with you, with all those people up in your house.

His house–that was all I needed to hear. I quietly walked back inside, letting the sound of their voices fade behind me. On my way out of the fraternity house later that night, I dropped my wallet in a potted plant next to the front door. Destiny had gotten me that far, but it was up to me to do the rest.

* * *

I waited until 9:45 the next night to come back. Most people used Sunday nights to catch up on their schoolwork, and I figured he would be at home. I knocked on the door and waited nervously for someone to answer.

A giant of a boy with teddy bear button eyes answered the door, took one look at me and yelled over his shoulder, Which one of y’all does this dime belong to? Claim her quick ‘fore I put her on my team.

My face felt like it was on fire as I stepped inside and explained about leaving my wallet.

A light-skinned guy with cornrows stood up and began walking towards me. He licked his lips in a very poor imitation of L.L. Cool J and said, I’ll help you look, ma. His gaze never quite reached my face.

No thank you. I crossed my arms over my chest, and glanced in Taylor’s direction, giving him what I hoped was a seductive smile. I think I probably left it outside somewhere.

I escaped all the testosterone in that living room by stepping out onto the patio, and whispered a prayer that Taylor would follow me. God was listening. He walked out as I was pretending to look under the patio furniture. Are you sure you left it here?

I straightened up and my mouth dropped open. Head on, he was beautiful. He had the smoothest sable ribbon skin. It was as if he skipped all of the puberty breakouts and came through with the luminosity and smoothness of a newborn baby. His lips were motherland full, his nose European straight. His eyes, oh Lord, his eyes were like a body of water on the night of a full moon. They shimmered, light glinting off of them, rhythmically hypnotizing me with their depth and beauty.

He took my breath away.

Literally. I tried to catch my breath as I unsteadily collapsed on a chair, and bent over with my head between my legs.

He rushed over and squatted beside me, balancing on the balls of his feet. Are you okay?

I nodded, and tried to force air into my lungs. Yeah, this happens . . . sometimes when . . . I’m overly . . . excited or stressed.

Assuming I was freaking out about losing my wallet, he said, It’s all right. You reported your ATM card lost and froze your credit cards, right?

I sat up slowly, flushed with embarrassment. Yeah, I mean no.

He brushed my hair away from my face, and placed a reassuring hand on my back. At least it was supposed to be reassuring. It sent me back to staring at the Aztec inspired motif decorating the patio tile floor.

Well I hope it’s here. There was a gang of people here last night though, and everybody ain’t honest. Concern lined his face as I continued to wheeze. Should I get you something? Do you need something to drink?

I managed to squeeze out an affirmative answer. By the time he came back with a soda I was sitting up and breathing normally. I took the soda, careful not to brush his fingers.

I glanced at him out of the corners of my eyes as I sipped the drink. I was at an impasse. I hadn’t thought my little plan through and there was only so long that he was going to let me wander around his house. It was already getting late, and the rustle of all those palm trees seemed to be getting louder.

I saw you last night.

I sputtered a little as the Coke went down the wrong pipe. Really?

He sat in the chair across from me, leaned back, and stretched out his long legs. Did I mention he had a ‘milk does a body good’ body? Yeah. You had on a short jean skirt and a gold-ish top.

I was flattered that he had noticed me and worried that it had been when I was spying on him and his girlfriend. When did you see me?

When you and your friend first got here. You looked good.

I blushed like crazy, grateful for the brown skin that hid it from him. Thanks.

So does your boyfriend know you went to a party without him, looking that good?

He was flirting with me! I mustered up what little game I had, I don’t have a boyfriend, but if I did, he wouldn’t have to be worried because I’m a one man kind of woman. My game was and still is, weak.

He was smiling, showing off TV commercial straight white teeth. I could get with that.

Did he mean he could get with me? What about your girlfriend? She giving you any headaches? I was skating on thin ice, but I had to know how that conversation ended the night before.

He shifted in his seat a little and broke the intense gaze we’d been locked in. Nah, not anymore. We broke up after the party last night. There was a brief silence in which I assume he was mourning the demise of their relationship. I, however, mentally celebrated. He finally continued, So, are you going to tell me your name?

With those words, I allowed myself to be drawn into his eyes. I dove right in and swam in the truth I thought I could find there. I was too stupid to be afraid of drowning.

* * *

The sound of a couple arguing in the apartment next door jilted Jacelynn out of the nap she had fallen into while reminiscing. She lay on the couch for a moment listening to the familiar sounds. The dad would leave now, taking at least one of the children with him, probably the oldest boy. The mom would spend the next two hours vacuuming. He would return later with ice cream for the kids and flowers for her. Jacelynn found the unfolding of this family drama fascinating, primarily because she grew up an only child, living alone with her mother. She never struggled with family dynamics or loyalty. She reminded herself to sleep with her earplugs in later that night. She didn’t want her rest disturbed by the rhythmic creaking of her neighbors making up.

Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was nearly five o’clock. Jason would be arriving soon. She was still in the now wrinkled black skirt and white shirt she had worn to church. Her hair was tangled and her makeup felt slick and oily. She looked a mess.

She remained where she was for a moment, letting the peacefulness of her home calm her. She let her eyes wander around the living room, noting that skipping her typical Saturday morning cleaning yesterday had left negligible dust on the light colored wood furniture. Comfortable contemporary decor in a series of cool tones ranging from soft shades of ice blue to rich sapphire contributed to the peace she expected every time she walked in the door. Smatterings of sea foam green were scattered about the room in the form of luxury candles and tasteful art pieces. She took advantage of natural light from the window most days, but today her white linen curtains were drawn shut.

Jacelynn was in the mood to hide from the world in the small oasis she’d created, but that wasn’t an option at the moment. She reluctantly rose from the couch, letting her bare feet sink into the plush dove gray carpet, and groggily went to sit on the toilet. After taking care of her business, she carefully tied her hair up with a satin scarf and stepped into the shower. The water beat down on her as she set the spray to power massage. Despite trying to keep her mind off it, she kept wondering what Jason and Taylor had talked about over lunch. Had they made the connection? She knew that she was going to have to tell Jason about her history with his new friend, and she believed he was secure enough to handle it. The question was could she?

If her reaction earlier was any indication, the odds were not in her favor. She should have simply walked up to Taylor and treated him like an old acquaintance. She should have chatted with him for a few minutes after church, making sure he knew that she was living well, and certainly not concerned about him.

But she hadn’t had sense enough to do any of that. She ran off like a coward, proving that she hadn’t quite recovered from him. Her tear ducts were burning, but she was too stubborn to let the tears fall. She had cried enough over him and besides, she didn’t have time. Hurriedly, she rinsed off the sudsy body wash and stepped out of the shower. She had more important things to do than jog down memory lane and spill tears over events long past. She had to figure out the best way to convince her boyfriend that her reaction earlier didn’t mean anything. He would have to understand, she’d been shocked. It had been years since she’d seen Taylor and it all came as a surprise. Jason was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time. She wasn’t going to let Taylor or anyone else ruin that.

She slathered coconut oil onto her still damp skin and marched out of the bathroom. Figuring chances were that she and Jason would be in for the night, she slipped on a pair of light blue yoga pants and a white fitted t-shirt. After washing her face, she began to reapply her make-up. In the middle of blending her eyeliner, her mind drifted to how Taylor would always tell her how pretty she was when she was bare-faced. Shaking that thought away, she pulled her shoulder length relaxed hair into a neat ponytail and used a curling iron to bump the ends under.

She put the curling iron down and unconsciously began comparing the girl she was then, and the woman she was now. What differences would Taylor notice if he were to see her now? Probably not much. She still had the same cinnamon brown skin, wide onyx eyes, full lips, and high cheekbones. Her face had been rounder at eighteen, still carrying her baby fat. Now her face had matured and narrowed. Then her charcoal black hair had been relaxed every couple of months with a home kit by her mother, and most of the time she chose to wear it naturally air dried in a cascade of soft waves. Now she visited the salon every two weeks and wore her hair in sleek straight shoulder length layers finely highlighted in a burnt chestnut brown. Then she had been cute. Now she was pretty. Then she had been a thick size twelve, a result of constant junk food and her own culinary experiments. Now she was a fit size ten, a result of regular exercise and a hectic work schedule.

Wondering what Taylor would think was not where her mind should be. In a little while, he was going to be left in the past, where he belonged. Jason was what mattered.

A gentle knock on the front door drifted into the bathroom. She took one final look in the mirror, blotted her neutral brown lipstick, layered a thin coat of clear lip gloss over it and told herself, You can do this.

She let Jason in, greeting him with an awkward hug and a stiff kiss on the lips. He was just as handsome as Taylor, Jacelynn thought as she quickly looked him over. Jason stood a little over six feet tall, with a muscular build. He was the color of a new penny, and had honest expressive milk chocolate colored eyes that always filled with affection whenever he was around Jacelynn. Now, they were also full of confusion. Are you up for company?

Avoiding eye contact, she murmured, You know we always spend Sunday afternoons together. Can you shut the door? You’re letting all the air out.

He did, and then challenged her, You didn’t answer my question.

She tried to feel him out. Obviously, Taylor hadn’t said anything about their past relationship. If he had, Jason would have brought it up immediately. He wasn’t one to avoid an issue. Of course I’m up to seeing you. What kind of question is that?

You seemed strange earlier today. I was worried.

You shouldn’t have been. What’s in the bag?

He handed it to her, and she peeked inside. I hope this is peach cobbler.

I know better than to go to M & M’s and not come back with peach cobbler for you.

She went into the kitchen, speaking to him over her shoulder. You got that right.

Scooping the healthy serving of cobbler into a bowl, she realized that she was starving, having not eaten since that morning. This was definitely not a good choice for lunch. It didn’t matter; at this point, she would eat anything. After dropping a huge hunk of French vanilla ice cream on top and grabbing two spoons, she returned to the living room.

Handing him one of the spoons, she watched as he took a bite and used the remote control to flip through the channels of her ten-year-old television set. He settled on a San Diego Padres baseball game and tossed the remote on the sky blue micro-fiber sofa. I can barely see the score. You need a new TV.

She crossed her legs Indian style and sat the bowl between them. There’s nothing wrong with this one. You just need to know how to work with it. Taking one of the silver and blue striped pillows from behind her, she expertly threw it at a right angle against the oversized entertainment center. The picture suddenly cleared to crystal clarity. See? Now as long as the Santos family next door doesn’t use their microwave, the picture will stay clear.

Ghetto. He shook his head. I told you I could get you the hook-up on a flat screen plasma. My cousin works at Best Buy.

You gotta cousin working everywhere. I don’t have any money to spend on that, hook-up or no hook-up. What she didn’t say was that she’d rather spend her disposable income on shoes over electronics any day of the week.

All right, fine, but at least let me set you up with some cable or a satellite dish. This is crazy!

Let me guess? You gotta cousin working for them too.

He laughed and nodded. As a matter of fact, I have three.

You and your ‘play’ cousins. She scraped the last of the cobbler from the bowl and fed it to him. And you’ve got the nerve to call me ghetto?

He swallowed, I promise you, they are all related to me one way or another.

Whatever. She put the bowl on the coffee table and lay down on her back, with her head in his lap. Now would be the perfect time to find out what he and Taylor had talked about at lunch, since apparently they hadn’t mentioned her. So you and um . . . Taylor really seemed to connect.

Yeah, I wouldn’t mind rollin’ with him again.

She snuck a glance at his face. Really?

Yeah, he seems legit.

She shouldn’t be surprised. Jason rarely met a person he didn’t connect with; hence, all of the ‘play’ cousins. What did you guys talk about at lunch?

Actually something came up, and he had to cancel. I went with some other people from church.

She let go of the breath she hadn’t known she was holding. Who all went?

Darren, Kim, and Sherice.

I should have known. I bet Sherice was really all up on you since I wasn’t around. Where had that come from? Normally she kept her insecurities about Sherice to herself. This whole thing with Taylor had her feeling vulnerable. I’m sorry. That wasn’t right.

Come on Lynn. What’s bugging you?

Nothing, I have a lot going on right now. And Sherice is always flirting with you.

So? You know I’m not thinking about her.

Let’s drop it, okay? You want to watch a movie?

He glanced down at her, his eyes squinting with unspoken questions. Jacelynn hoped he wouldn’t pursue her momentary lapse into jealousy. She breathed a sigh of relief when he said, Yeah, let’s watch a movie. What do you want to see?

She lifted her hand and gently grasped his chin to pull his face toward her. She kissed him, grateful that he was being so accommodating. She could only hope that he would be as understanding when he found out about her history with his newfound friend. Because he would find out; it was only a matter of time.

CHAPTER 2

A few months after Taylor and I started dating, his fraternity hosted a bonfire at the beach. I was uncomfortable with the whole scene. The music was loud and the people drinking and dancing were even louder. But I pretended to have a good time to please him. Still, it was a relief when he took my hand and led me away from the crowd.

Where are we going? I struggled to keep my footing as I picked my way across the sand in the dark.

Someplace more romantic. He stopped walking and bent over at the waist, Here, get on.

Taylor I’m perfectly capable of walking. The truth was that I didn’t want to hurt the brother; I was a thick sister.

He glanced back at me. Look, you keep hopping over the seaweed and it’s taking forever. C’mon girl, I want to show you something.

Reluctantly I climbed on his back, and to my surprise, he lifted me with ease. His cheek brushed against mine as he strolled along the edge of the ocean and the feel of his forearms beneath my thighs burned like a virtual branding.

He raised his voice so I could hear him over the sound of seagulls squawking and whooshing noise of the tide coming in. Why do you have to be so proper all the time anyway?

I’m not all that proper.

He began mimicking me in a high falsetto, Stop kissing me Taylor, people are watching.

I laughed even though it bothered me that he saw me as being too conservative. That was definitely not a good thing in his crowd. Shut up. That’s just how I am.

The spray from the ocean misted my bare legs and I wondered how far he planned to walk. He interrupted my thoughts when he asked, Are you having fun tonight?

I always have fun when I’m with you.

I guess I meant are you having a good time despite Alicia being here?

I didn’t answer right away. Of course it bothered me that his ex-girlfriend was at the bonfire. But, I didn’t want to seem insecure. Finally I said, It’s a free country. She can go wherever she pleases.

Wisely, he chose to change the subject. It’s not too much farther to this little sand dune I like to relax in. I don’t show it to many people.

I kissed his cheek and murmured, I feel special already.

He stopped at the edge of some rocks. Okay, you’ve got to walk from here. I don’t want to drop you.

When my feet touched the ground, I adjusted my shorts and tank top. He took my hand and led me to the mouth of a small cave. Wait here, he said. A moment later, he lit a huge candle.

I smiled and walked farther in. Why do I get the feeling you planned this?

He adjusted the candle to make sure it wouldn’t tip over, and grinned at me. I did. He spread out a blanket and sat down. Come here.

I settled in between his legs and leaned back against him, enjoying the feel of his arms around me. What do you do when you come here?

Think.

About what?

He nuzzled the side of my neck with his nose. You.

I closed my eyes. Typical patronizing answer. Now tell me the truth.

That was the truth. I think about you and me and where all this is going.

My heart pounded a little faster. And where is that?

I don’t know. I’ve never been with someone like you.

Is that a good thing?

So far . . . it’s a very good thing.

I smiled, thrilled with everything he was saying. I think so too. But after two and a half months, you still don’t know me all that well.

Yes I do.

I turned around and leaned away from him sideways so that I could see his face. Teasingly I asked, What do you know?

He smoothed my hair back away from my forehead. I know that you like romantic movies and books. You hate wearing socks. You don’t appreciate your sexy legs. You love looking at sunsets. You paint your toes crazy colors. You laugh a lot. You like to look people in their eyes and you feel special when I hold your hand. I could go on.

I was still trying to recover, but I managed to say, You could. But you still don’t know me. I turned back around and laced my fingers through his.

Isn’t that why we’re seeing each other, so I can get to know you?

Yes, but the kind of dates we go on aren’t exactly helpful in that department. Like tonight. It was all right being with everybody else, but I like it much better being here alone with you now. I was too inexperienced to anticipate that he would take my little confession as an open invitation.

I like being alone with you too. He started doing that thing to my neck again, and I swear it felt like the bones in my body disappeared. I knew that if we didn’t stop soon, I was going to be in trouble. Abruptly, I moved away from him.

Softly he asked, Why do you always do that? I won’t bite . . . unless you want me to.

When I turned to face him, his eyes twinkled mischievously. I lowered my eyes, feeling unnecessarily shy. I don’t know.

"Come