Atonement: Projection, #3

I. Feast of the Wolves

"I turned and walked to Dotty. I patted her gently and looked up into her gentle brown eyes. She interwove her trunk around my arm and grumbled softly. It was a sort of goodbye of some kind, between us, I'm quite sure. Of all the fine individuals here that might die today, I knew in my heart this would be the biggest tragedy of all. This new world needs her genes. It needs them to balance the wanton savagery here. It needs her kindness and compassion and applied intelligence. She has Petrina and an unborn baby that are destined to pass her wonderful genes along...if only they could live. It was a special chance I had in my life...this chance to meet Dotty. I saw this now with clarity. If this world could erase the wondrous gifts in her so easily...I did not want to exist here either. My heart was shattered in a million pieces thinking of her and her line being extinguished here today. I hugged her trunk one last time.

I turned to see Andra blocking my path forward. She held out her hand to me.

Together we walked toward the Alpha leaders and the fearsome line of soldiers behind."

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Now I stood in the very center of this super-pack of new world wolves. My mind was dark with dread and sorrow thinking of my clan being torn to pieces. As they died, so would the incredible loves and hopes I had found here. As I stoically stared ahead I knew I could get off a single shot, maybe two, before the avalanche of jaws clamped shut on our lives.  I could take out the Alpha male, no doubt. I could end Andra's suffering, I'm ashamed to think about it...but I could save her the anguish and humility of being thrown to the ground and torn apart limb by limb. She would despise me in eternity, ...but that's how much I'd give to save her this pain. I raised my rifle muzzle slowly to point at the Alpha male. A deep resonance shook the air as five dozen wolves bared their fanged plates and growled as one.

I looked into the eyes of the grizzled leader. This was our third encounter, and certainly our closest. I had no option but to examine his face. From six feet away it was easy to see why he had appeared so ragged before. He had a long face peppered with silver and black hairs framing his dark intense eyes. His nose was callused and his lips were curled back in a grimace, displaying the stained and fearsome plates that had taken so many lives. He was missing his left ear and there was a scar across his right eye. It was a long- healed pale gash that continued along his neck, stopping at the ageless thick armor of his upper shoulder. The remainder of his armor was marked by endless white scaring. For some reason, The Wrath of Khan came into my head, staring at him ...that was his name now, Khan...at least until one of us killed the other. As before, I refused to blink. I sensed a distant respect between us, each fascinated with the other. I had become astonished at such a blend of New World savagery and intelligent decisions. In turn, I suppose he was intrigued by my ability to fend off his repetitive attacks. His battle record had probably fallen to something like 500-3 with us around. But alas, here was his sweet victory today. He had pulled off the perfect ambush. We were vastly outnumbered and cornered with nowhere to go.

I felt the earth behind me shake as Dotty came up supporting my back. She would stand behind me until the end. They had said their family goodbyes...I guess Babe would stay with Petrina under the tarps.

I glanced at the other Alpha leader. She had brought her pack here today in support of Khan. They almost didn't look like the same species. She was shorter, but stocky, probably weighing every bit as much as Khan . She was a younger wolf, in her prime. If Khan were winter, she was certainly summer. She had tans and grays and yellows flowing across her thick body, contrasting against the dull matted armor. She had one brown eye and one bright yellow eye. I could almost see the astonishing intelligence as I gazed at her, never sure which eye to hold with my attention.

Giving me a final look, she got up off her haunches, and slowly moved past us, weaving a wide path around Dotty's tusk. Two of the soldiers broke ranks and followed her. One in particular was a brute...easily the biggest wolf here. They calmly sniffed at us as they passed, working slowly towards the canvas and the rest of our clan. The female sniffed deeply and then moved on, trotting lightly. The brute crossed in front of Babe and turned in to show a little too much interest in Petrina. As he sized her up, he let out a deep guttural growl. Babe cocked his head to the side and coiled his enormous trunk like a weapon. He too let out a low menacing grumble that shook the ground in resonance.

What happened next was so startlingly quick, I was taken aback by the speed and ferocity displayed. The Alpha female wheeled and launched into the brute with all her fury. Forgetting all else, I slid under Dotty to get a better view of what was happening. The two armored wolves were in a real fight, like a couple of a pit bulls...only they weren't just 60 pound dogs. It was more like watching two lions fighting. The noise and savagery was frightening to be near.  It was all shaking heads and slashing jaws as they went after each other in earnest. The brute wolf was successful in throwing the pack leader off him time after time, but after each repulse, the tawny female would rebound off the earth and launch a new attack at his throat. Eventually she was successful in getting her fangs clinched just under his jaw. There was one small spot on his upper neck where the armor slabs met...it was here she finally held his neck in a savage grip.  He became passive in her grasp. They both settled to all fours now as low snarls flowed from her clamped mouth. Finally, she let go and without a second look, turned and trotted forward. The brute shook himself off and fell in behind her as if nothing had even happened. She walked by Khan and glanced his way. He woofed but once. Then she trotted toward the bridge. The wolves scattered before her as she crossed it, the two huge soldiers in tow. The little bridge creaked and bowed. As the Alpha female cleared the planked bridge, she turned up towards the high trail. That's when over two dozen wolves scurried to their feet and fell in behind her. We all watched as half the attack force disappeared around the corner onto the old camp trail.

I stood to full height again and looked at Khan. I had the oddest feeling. It was like I gazed upon a hideous Halloween mask, only to glimpse the first hint of compassion beneath it. He wolfed a sharp woof, ending with the haunting whistle of the new world wolves. One of the soldiers behind him immediately got up and trotted across the bridge, this time turning left down the falls trail towards the valley floor. A single group of five wolves fell in behind him. This was repeated several times, our hope welling up from within as each party of killer-hunters filed out of our camp grounds and back to their world. I heard Petrina let out a hopeful squeal somewhere behind me.

Soon only Khan was left before us. Well...almost only Khan. Behind him, between the camp tents and the falls was a lone wolf, it's head oddly drooped onto a dark lump. For beneath it, on the ground, was another wolf...this one dead....disguised all this time by the multitude of the bustling wolves.  Slowly Khan got up and turned his back to us as he sauntered over to the pair. He sniffed briefly at the live wolf and then sat calmly behind the carcass and looked at us.

I instinctively knew what he wanted...he wanted me to come look. I started forward and felt Andra move at my side without having to glance. I approached steadily, lured by the calmness and purpose of Khan sitting so humbly. I knew, even before I got there, what it is I would see... what it was Khan wanted to show me. It was not a surprise when I looked down at the wolf carcass. It had been a young male, but now there was a fist size hole in his chest. We had killed this wolf. I knelt now and looked at the body. It was starting to stink and had been dragged across endless trails to get it here. Either Andra or I had shot this wolf at the valley fight. I looked at the vast wound the .450 marlin slug had torn through the chest. I remembered the shot now. I looked up at the wolf hovering over the carcass. It was a young female, perhaps his mate. Not really wanting to, I looked at her eyes anyway. They were crusted with dried goo, almost half closed. She did not meet my eyes, only looked down pitifully at the withering mate before her. She gave off a small whine, almost unperceivable, it was so distant and weak. Slowly Khan rose to full height, looming over us. He went around and started gently nudging the female towards the bridge. She did not want to go. He forced her along, her neck strained backward to glimpse the carcass with waning hope.

I felt Andra's hands on my shoulders, massaging gently, telling me she was still there for me. I looked at the withered carcass before me and thought of the enduring loss it represented to the female wolf. Somewhere in the last 12 million years, the lines had blurred between savage beasts and omnipotent souls. I instinctively knew the young widowed wolf would not survive the loss of her mate. I thought of how easily it could be me mourning the loss of the wonderful mate behind me. ... could I have really shot Andra to save her misery?...thank goodness, I'll never know...I shivered once, then slowly stood up. I turned to Andra and looked in her eyes. There was so much there for me,...hell I don't know, I just loved her. More than anything. I looked over to the bridge. The female wolf had departed, I could just see her wandering slowly down the falls trail like she was lost.

Khan stood looking at me. I started forward but he turned and wandered to the bridge. He crossed my little bridge, then stopped on the far side. He looked back at us and lifted his leg over one of the far support posts. He started urinating on it. I really didn't care. ...At least at first. But he made a point to urinate on all of the posts then the bridge planks. He just wouldn't stop. I knew then it was much more than needing to relieve himself. It slowly dawned on me that he was saying this all belonged to him. I couldn't stand it, something snapped inside me. I started forward, Andra grabbed my shirt from behind,

No Scott, lets it go hun. She pleaded.

I gently twisted out of her grip and strode across the bridge, my rifle at the ready. I could hear Emma yelling at me, something about being an idiot. I plowed across the bridge in six long strides just as Khan was finishing. As I approached, he let out a low growl of intimidation. The only effect it had on me was to point the rifle muzzle at his head. He looked right through me continuing his low growl and scratching the ground with his back legs, sending up dirt and grasses into the morning breeze. I held the  rifle pointed at his head with one hand and managed to unzip and then started urinating on the posts, covering his urine with my own. I took my time, sparsely covering all the areas. I can't explain it, I just knew it was important to do this. It was much more than a pissing match, it was a negotiation of status between our clan and their pack. Andra and I were going to spend the rest of our days here, we were not going to be subservient to his pack in our future. When I finished I brushed my feet back, sending grass and dirt flying behind me. He stared at me hard like I was going to wilt and run. I held his stare and wavered the muzzle ever so slightly across his line of sight. He finally quit growling and turned and padded down the falls trail. The visit was over....

Dotty waded across the turbulent flow to stand in front of me. She cocked her huge head and stared down with her big intelligent eye, studying me like she had just met me. Finally she reached out to ruffle my hair. I gently touched her trunk, wanting to feel this wasn't a dream...wanting to know we were all ok and she would be able to pass her wonderful genes into this savage world. Andra ran across the planked bridge and tackled me...ugh the girl could tackle...

I love you stupit man!  She kissed me holding my head tight against hers. I relaxed in her kiss, running out of breath, but blissful to be alive with Andra crawling all over me. I reluctantly peeled myself off her and stood up.

Lucky splashed across the stream and interwove his huge wet body into us like he was a 2,500 pound lap pet. We were instantly soaked from head to toe, but Andra jumped up and threw her arms around his neck and dangled there smiling. The new young horse was pacing back and forth along the far bank , unsure what to do with all the released energy. I walked back across the bridge and stood by the dead wolf. I watched as Petrina approached Emma in the distance. I could see Emma still shaking as young Petrina squealed away, trying to tell her all was ok. I noticed Petrina was a hopeless optimist...she gets that from her mother, I'm sure....

Jonathan walked over to join me at the wolf carcass.

I say...quite the interesting morning, don't you think? He sounded so understated...so...English. Why do you fashion the leader changed his mind about attacking us? Jonathan asked casually.

I looked up from the dead wolf to Jonathan.

He never changed his mind...it went exactly the way he planned it. I said simply.

Jonathan's eyebrow went up as he chewed on this thought.

Slowly the clan filtered in one by one to stand beside me and the dead wolf. Looking at Andra, you'd never know any of this even happened. She was smiling at me and scratching Lucky behind the ear. The newer horse stood outside our circle, unsure what was next from this insane herd that had adopted her. Emma slowly composed herself.

Ok Scott...what the frick just happened?  She shielded the morning sun with her tiny hand.

"Well...ever hear of Gunboat Diplomacy?" I looked at her.

No. She answered.

Wut's dat Scott? Andra asked.

Jonathan? I looked at the young doctor. Explain to the ladies about gunboat diplomacy. Your country perfected it.

Jonathan laughed.

Oh right..um..suppose we did..well...actually Gunboat Diplomacy is merely a rather strong show of offensive might in a remote location to instill obedience and reverence in the locals. He explained a little too properly.

Andra smiled and looked over at me,

Nows explain dat someone.

What he said is... if you want to send a strong message, you park an overwhelming force right in their face. I offered.

Roger dat. said Andra.

Ok, I get that now...but what was the frigging message? asked Emma.

I looked down and let the rifle muzzle circle the bullet hole in the dead wolf.

No more of this... I stated simply.

WHAT THE HELL? stammered Emma. We supposed to just let them feed on Dotty and Petrina and every- damn- one- of -us without defending ourselves? Emma lost it.

No. I said softly, rubbing my eyes until Emma cooled down. That was just part of the message. There was an offering...subtle, but important. I said.

Comon Scott, where did that come from? I didn't see any offering other than this. Emma thrust a finger at the dead wolf.

It was the sniffing. He had his neighboring wolf pack leader sniff us all so she could identify each and every one of us. I summarized.

Do I look blind? Emma persisted." I saw that part, holy crap the blond wolf almost ate the other one for not sniffing right. So what did all the sniffing mean...tell us...please." Emma was exasperated.

That we're off limits. I stated.

It got quiet as this thought slowly filtered in among them. I could hear the foamy morning runoff lap at the bottom of the little bridge. It was the sound of tranquility on such a stressful morning.

You're shitting me. They're not supposed to attack us anymore? Emma asked shocked.

And we not gonna shoots them anymore. Andra added.

That's the offer, yes. I nodded.

Holy crap Wesson.... Emma finally ran out of words.

Well this is rather good news I should imagine. Jonathan offered.

Outstanding...I would imagine I finally smiled.

Lucky, we can rides forever now. Andra danced around like Rocky Balboa.

Calm down Sheena, Queen of the Jungle. Emma finally smiled. Ok...so what was all that pissing about?

Um...sort of a negotiation. The Alpha leader proposed very bluntly that we were under his rule. I suggested that we were an independent domain. That's all. I smiled again.

Holy shit...I've seen it all now, nothing can top this, you're the fricking piss- whisperer. Oh my gawd, is there anything you won't do Wesson? Emma was bent over laughing hard.

I smiled, choking down a laugh myself.

"Hey dat's my piss- wisperer to you young lady." Andra hip-bumped Emma into Petrina. Petrina was squealing away, just to be part of our fun. I seriously thought Emma might wet her pants.

When things calmed down I knew I had to explain some of this to Dotty. I got a decent stick and moved over to the loose dirt of the trail. I drew her and the family with the wolves chasing them. Then I crossed out the wolves. I walked back to the dead wolf and pointed at the hole in it and then the rifle and waved away from my heart emphatically. She got it. Her ears flew forward so fast I almost laughed. She was having trouble adjusting to such a thought. She turned like she weighed 50 pounds instead of 8 tons and ran straight to Babe. They rubbed faces and tangled trunks and grumbled. Finally she trotted back to me and curled her trunk around my chest and drew me close, calmly holding me there with sincerity. I was happy for them...hell, I was happy for us all...please, please let it be true...I slowly relaxed in her warm, protective grasp. I felt the tension flow out of my body. Things were looking up.

Then I glanced over at the wolf carcass. We had to do something.  Besides stinking, it was also a sore reminder that we had taken someone's husband. I unwrapped from Dotty's care and approached Babe. I drew what I had drawn once before on a very sad occasion... I drew us digging a grave. Sure, we could drag the carcass and throw it in the valley for lions to find and carry off, but I wanted to show some respect. We would bury it. Babe understood and pointed in a large circle around the camp and touched his head.

Where shall we bury it?  He had asked.

I drew the old camp and then the depression trail below. It was far enough away to lure any lions far from us.

Listen up, team, we are going on a dual purpose outing. I announced.

Wheres to Scott? Andra asked.

What? Emma asked in unison.

We're going to the old depression trail to bury this wolf, and then...  I hesitated.

What? Emma asked again.

Andra cocked her head studying me, her eyes in question.

We're going to make a Sugar Fruit run. I smiled announcing this.

Oh my gawd Scott... to de valley wif de wittle beach? Andra asked excitedly. Lucky, we goings on a twip. She announced jumping around getting the animals excited.

Dotty threw her ears forward and touched her forehead, asking what I had said that had gotten Andra so excited. I pointed over the rise in the direction of the new valley and peeled an invisible Sugar Fruit and ate it. Dotty raised her trunk and sent a sharp blast into the air. ...guess she liked this idea... Petrina caught on and was scooting circles around us all.

Um...Wesson, did you piss your brains away? For one, the new horse needs time to recover, and two, there's a fricking sea monster waiting there. Emma stated the obvious.

Yeah, well show me where's there not monsters Emma?' I replied back. Jonathan, can you stay with the new horse, maybe watch her and work with her here? I asked in earnest.

Of course, Captain, the rest of the day without further peril seems highly acceptable. He smiled an honest smile.

Crap, I'm staying here too. Emma declared, her hands on her tiny hips.

We nots gonna swims wif it silly. Andra said laughing and shaking Emma by the shoulders.

What...ever...if it can drag a 500 pound armored rabbit off the beach , I'm not going. She persisted.

"How hare you call it a rabbit." I said grinning.

Shut up Scott, you're not going to win me over with bad humor. Emma said scolding. "Take your hare-brained jokes with you...and gawd take Ms. Sheena here too, she's gonna pee her tight britches if you don't find her something to do."

Andra thumped Emma across the ear.

Owwee. Emma flinched.

Gweat, you stays here wif your lover, but Petrina deserves de twip. Andra stated.

Ok, fine but don't you guys dare even let her near the beach...I'm serious. Emma declared.

Wilco. I saluted Emma.

She just stared at me.  I smiled.

Ok let's get some things together hun. I turned to Andra. We'll bring the basics, lots of ammo and all the extra back packs. I suggested.

Roger dat, Captain Jock Fighter man. She beamed.

Peril, adventure and Lucky...  these things seemed to bring out the best in Andra. She hadn't stopped smiling since the wolves left.

I walked over to the new horse and gently put my hand out to let her sniff me. She was receptive and I scratched her ears. I looked over at her ribs. The patch was still there, moving and fluttering with each breath. There was a low whistle to it as the air escaped each time. It had been a miraculous job by Jonathan. He had saved the horse's life against all odds. I was proud of him... and Andra and Lucky and Dotty. They had all done their part to make this happen.

I gazed at her striping, she was such a beautiful horse. The brightness was back in her colors. Her swelling even seemed to be going down. We got the miracle berry juice out and Jonathan and Emma doused the wounds again with it. Jonathan even cleansed inside the fluttering patch, working deftly with the natural rhythm of her breathing. She seemed to totally relax around Jonathan. I