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    240 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever
    240 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever
    240 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever
    Ebook92 pages1 hour

    240 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever

    By Marcus Albey

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    About this ebook

    Get 240 insanely hilarious jokes in 1 book for 1 low price! Laugh until you can't take anymore and actually hurt yourself from falling out of your chair!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMarcus Albey
    Release dateApr 7, 2015
    ISBN9781310090561
    240 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever
    Author

    Marcus Albey

    It won't let me put my website as a direct link but here it is: http://korndawg8.wix.com/hot-books-boutique#!marcus-albey/ct52

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      Book preview

      240 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever - Marcus Albey

      240 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever

      By Marcus Albey

      Smashwords Edition

      ******

      Published by:

      Marcus Albey on Smashwords

      240 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever

      Copyright © 2014 by Marcus Albey

      1. Little Johnny was sitting in class when the teacher asked him Can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and joy into people’s lives?

      Little Johnny replied Smo-king, Drin-king and Fuc-king.

      2. There were three prostitutes living together, a mother, daughter and grandmother. One night the daughter came home looking very down. How did you get on tonight Dear? asked her mother. Not too good, replied the daughter. I only got $20 for a blow job. Wow! said the mother, In my day we gave a blow job for 50 cents! Good God! said the Grandmother. In my day we were just glad to get something warm in our stomachs!

      3. 4 men are together in a prison cell...

      A rapist, a murderer, a psycho, and a gay man

      The rapist says, If there was a cat here, I'd fuck it til I die!

      The murderer says, Yeah, well, once you're done fucking the cat, I'd torture it to death!

      The psycho says, And when it's dead, I'd fuck it til I DIE!

      The gay man, sitting in the corner, softly lets out, MEOW!

      4. A man and his wife are having hard financial times and decide that the husband will pimp the wife out.

      The man parks and waits while his wife goes around the corner to stir up business.

      At the end of the night, the wife comes back to the car, and her husband asks how much she made.

      $100 and 50 cents, the wife says.

      That's great, replies the husband. But who paid the 50 cents?

      All of them.

      5. Q. What does 70 year old pussy taste like?

      A. Depends!

      6. Q) What is the definition of bisexual in Alabama?

      A) somebody who likes both sheep and goats

      7. On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple is sitting at the breakfast table. The wife quickly says, Honey, you know, 50 years ago today, we would have been sitting around completely naked together. You wanna try it?

      The husband says, Why not, and they tear their clothes off and sit back down at the table.

      The wife turns to her husband and says, You know, my nipples are still as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago!

      Her husband responds, Of course they are! 1 of em is in your coffee, and the other 1 is in your oatmeal!

      8. In class one day, the teacher says, Ok, students... today, we're going to put our names into syllables. Who would like to volunteer? Yes... you there... what's your name?

      A boy stands up and says, I'm Johnny Jones. You got your J o h n.... you got your John. You got your n y... you got your Johnny. You got your J o n e s... You got your Jones. You got your Johnny Jones.

      The teacher says, Outstanding, Johnny. You there... what is your name?

      A little girl, not to be outdone, quickly stands up and says, I'm Mary Smith. You have your M a... that's your May. You have your r y... That's your ree. You have your Mary. You have your S m i t h... that's your Smith. You then have Mary Smith.

      The teacher, quite impressed, applauds the girl and asks for another volunteer, this time pointing to Archibald Bareasshole (Baresaw."

      Alright. You got your A r c h... you got your Arch... You got your i... you got your Archi. You got your b a l d... you got your bald. You got your ibald.... you got your Archibald. You got your b a r e... you got your bare... you got your bald bare... you got your ibald bare... you got your Archibald bare.... You got your a s s... you got your ass. You got your bare ass. You got your bald bare ass. You got your ibald bare ass. You got your Archibald bareass. You got your h o l e. You got your hole. You got your asshole. You got your bare asshole. You got your bald bare asshole. You got your ibald bare asshole. You got your Arhibald Bareasshole.

      The teacher stands and shots, Amazing, Archibald... simply amazing!

      9. Bubba is getting married first thing on Monday, but sitting in his truck on Saturday night with his bride to be, he is getting quite horny.

      Bubba asks his fiance, Baby, you think I can get me a piece of that stuff tonight?

      No, Bubba! You have to wait til Monday!

      Bubba, disheartened, responds, Ok, Baby, but do you... think... maybe I could just see that thing?

      Ok, Bubba, you can see it.

      Bubba's fiance lifts up her dress and pulls her panties down a little, showing Bubba what he wants most.

      Bubba can't take it and shouts, Baby, I gotta have that now!

      No, Bubba! You have to wait til Monday!

      Ok, Baby, but do you think... maybe... I could just feel that thing?

      Sure, Bubba, you can feel it.

      Bubba's fiance takes Bubba's fingers and gently rubs them all over her pussy, sending Bubba into overdrive.

      With even more excitement and anxiousness, Bubba says, Oh, Baby, I gotta have that now!

      No, Bubba! You have to wait til Monday!

      Bubba, again disheartened, hangs his head and soon comes back with, Ok, Baby, but do you... think... maybe... I could just smell that thing?

      Ok, Bubba. You can smell it.

      Bubba jumps down into the floorboard of the truck and takes a deep whiff of his fiance's pussy and hurriedly exclaims, Damn, Baby! You think that thing will keep til Monday?!

      10. A football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba, had so many women hanging around that he couldn't possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked Bubba, Just what the hell is your secret?

      Bubba replied, Well, coach, whenever I'm about to have sex, I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs it and I can screw 'em forever!

      The coach went home early that day and went straight to the bedroom. He heard his wife in the shower and, seeing a window of opportunity, tore off his clothes and started banging his penis on the dresser.

      His wife immediately stuck her head out of the shower and said, Is that you, Bubba?

      11. Wanting the day off of work, a guy calls his boss and tells him that he's sick.

      His boss doesn't believe him and says, You don't sound sick.

      The man shouts back, Yeah, well... I'm fuckin' my sister! is that sick enough for you?

      The boss disgusted, tells the man, You stay your sick ass at the house fuckin' your damn sister! What the hell is wrong with you?!

      12. Q) What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbian's apartment?

      A) potpourri

      13. A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband. Don't you love him anymore? asked the lawyer.

      Oh, I still love him, the chick replied. But all he ever wants is sex, I can't take it.

      Instead of divorcing him why don't you try charging him every time he wants to make love? the lawyer suggested.

      The exhausted wife decided to give the plan a try. As soon as she walked into the house that night her husband put the hard word on her.

      Not so fast, she replied. "From now on it'll be $10 in the kitchen, $20 in

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