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    Male/Females Realities
    Male/Females Realities
    Male/Females Realities
    Ebook203 pages2 hours

    Male/Females Realities

    By Harry Jay

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Romantic Relationships - Male/Female Realities is all
    about men and women's attempt to come together in communion
    and harmony but more often than not come together dressed
    for battle and neither has plans to take any prisoners.
    Why can't we all just get along? The answers are more
    complicated than you think but the answers are in
    "Male/Female Realities." Romantic Relationships -
    Male/Female Realities offers advice on relationships,
    relationship help, tips on relationships and much more.
    Think relationships healthy!!! If you want to discover
    ways to keep a good relationship with some ideas for
    romance thrown in then order your copy today! Romantic
    Relationships - Male/Female Realities is 132 pages and
    is from the best-selling author and behavioral scientist
    Dr. Harry Jay.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDr. Leland Benton
    Release dateApr 19, 2015
    ISBN9781311545756
    Male/Females Realities
    Author

    Harry Jay

    Dr. Harry Jay is Director of Research for AppliedMindSciences.com, a mental health and mind research group of Applied Web Info, and is the author of over 100 books and research papers as a behavioral scientist. In his 31-year career, Dr. Harry Jay has contributed many new mental health treatment treatments and protocols using some of the new advances he has discovered in Energy Psychology. He specializes in addictions of all kinds, sexual abuse, child predation and gender relationships. He is also a board member to ePubWealth.com and serves on the science committee assisting non-fiction science writers in book publishing and promotion. As a leading behavioral scientist, he provides profiling services to the company's ForensicsNation.com unit as well as criminal psychology research to aid in identifying and apprehending child predators and cyber-criminals of all kinds. He resides in Southern Utah and enjoys the outdoors, fishing and photography.

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      Book preview

      Male/Females Realities - Harry Jay

      Male/Females Realities

      By Dr. Harry Jay

      ~~~

      Smashwords Edition

      Copyright © 2013 Dr. Harry Jay. All rights reserved.

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      The Truth Will Set You Free!

      Table of Contents

      Introduction

      MALE / FEMALE REALITIES

      We are all in this together, alone.

      Square hole, square peg...

      This will tell us why you are you...

      Iron Can Do What Gold Cannot

      ARE MEN REALLY FROM MARS AND WOMEN FROM VENUS?

      HOW DO WE BEGIN TO BALANCE THE SCALES?

      Our plumbing is different, but what else?

      The mind of man versus woman

      You are what you think...

      A Simple Little Test

      A problem with word meanings...

      Objective versus subjective...

      Our brains are very similar but quite different...

      Romance...

      An Arm and a Leg

      The Battle of the Sexes

      Regarding men: A man thinks in progressive steps...

      A man's mind is linear, and this means he goes to Step A, and when this is finished, he proceeds to Step B, etc.

      A man is object oriented and his progressive nature enables him to assign tasks.

      A man takes in all stimuli into his intellect and expresses it through the physical.

      The physical and the intellectual are the only two factors that determine how a man perceives the world around him.

      Men regard emotions as a relief to stress; women view them as warning signs.

      A man is more in touch with his surroundings and has better spatial perception than a woman has.

      A man tends to be more focused on single types of actions and goals, and is easily annoyed when interrupted.

      A man is externally oriented, as it pertains to his surroundings.

      To a man, love is more a physical expression than an emotion.

      Women complain that men spend too much time in their mind and not enough time in their heart.

      To a man, his wants are determined by what he can have.

      To a man, someone, or something, has to be in control.

      Authority is a given in a man's mind.

      Men normally intellectualize their emotions, and always express them in the physical.

      When men blame, they look for external causes.

      Men think progressively and desire their wants and needs to be met progressively.

      Men set boundaries, and most laws are man-made, not woman-made.

      In boys, the right hemisphere, which specializes in spatial-perceptual processes, matures earlier than it does in girls.

      Men marry based on a woman satisfying his wants and needs as he defines them.

      Regarding women...

      A woman thinks on a multi-linear plane.

      A woman takes in outside stimuli into her intellect first, like a man, but then transfers it immediately to her emotions.

      A woman internalizes, or is internally oriented, in the way she conducts her life.

      Women see beyond the confines of set limits, where men stop at these very same limits.

      To a woman, love is more emotional than physical.

      The love of a woman completes a man as the man enters her emotions and fills her inner being.

      To a woman, the concepts of wants and resources are two very separate ideals.

      Women control based on purpose and design.

      Control is not a given in a woman's mind.

      Women emotionalize everything so their reactions to conflict are expressed through their emotions.

      Where a man turns an intellectual problem into an emotional judgment of personal failure, a woman in the same situation, wrongfully interprets her emotion as a lack of acceptance.

      Objective reality comes easy for a man, but is a tremendous limitation to a woman.

      Women think subjectively; hence, women see their behavior having many different causes and are able to justify all of them emotionally.

      Women tend to view, with suspicion anything, which claims objectivity.

      The processes, which involve a blurring of the boundary between subject and object, have come to be associated with the feminine, and the posture of objectification associated with the masculine.

      Women’s experience seemed to be one of continuity with their social and biological realities.

      For women, courtship is an adventure in sprit, emotion, and physical expression.

      A woman falls in love gradually and as takes a man into her emotions completely.

      Words Women Use

      I Have a Special Gift for My Readers

      Meet the Author

      Introduction

      Untitled.jpg

      I will now begin an in depth study of how the mind operates in love and the difference between male and female realities. There is nothing more complex on the planet than love! There is no way to love; love is the way! This is without a doubt the most important thing you will learn so far. This is also the longest course I have ever taught so please be patient and study carefully what I have to say. You will definitely find yourself here within the words.

      MALE / FEMALE REALITIES

      Love! What is it about this human condition that continues to draw us to one another? I can remember when I was in puberty - almost the exact day - I started liking girls, and it scared the living bananas out of me. Growing up with a bunch of sisters had made my view of females very skewed. In fact, I could not understand why I wanted to like them all of a sudden instead of pounding them into the pavement, which I had been doing to my sisters just to stay alive.

      My very first girlfriend was a girl named Regina Marshall and to me she was absolutely stunning. I spent my lunch money on her every day and we would talk in school every chance we got. One day she asked me why I didn't hold her hand. Stupid ol' me just said, Why, is something wrong with your hand? She laughed at me (she did this a lot) and said that when two people like each other they hold hands. Where do guys learn this stuff? Moreover, why do girls know about this stuff and guys don't?

      I soon found out that girls have these love huddles, where they gab at each other and share experiences. Boys gab too, but mostly about physical things like sports. I also discovered that these gab-fests were an essential part of girlhood and it was a big part of their psyches to share experiences and that this trait carried over into womanhood.

      As my relationship with Regina grew, she informed me one day - in no uncertain terms - that we were supposed to kiss. Well, knock me over with a feather; she could have been speaking to me in Swahili and I would have better understood her compared to what she was saying then. KISS? I told her I did not know how to kiss because no one had taught me. She just giggled and then kissed me. This all sounds so romantic, doesn't it?

      After my first kiss, Regina asked me what I thought. I replied, Not bad...a little provocative; sensual to a point, but definitely worth trying again. NOT!

      Stupid ol' me said instead, It's gross!

      I soon learned that although you feel one way, it is not always wise to be so straightforward when dealing with a girl. My comment sparked my first fight with Regina but this one did not use fists and I was totally unprepared for this battle. (Come on, to a fourteen year old boy, sticking your tongue in someone's mouth is gross...at least for the first few times, then it ain't bad at all. In fact, even my worst time was simply wonderful).

      So what else is new? Today I am fifty-seven years old; I am still unprepared for many of the things women do and I am a doctor specializing in human behavior and male/female realities. Think of the poor schlemiels out there with no training at all. Life is tough, but it is a lot tougher when you are stupid, and many men feel very inadequate when dealing with women. Therefore, I am going to do my best to bring about a truce in the battle of the sexes.

      It would be one thing for men and women to react based solely on their gender differences and psyches, however, we drag with us our previous life experiences, and so, first, I want to teach you some of the things I teach young people in my Teen Idols seminar.

      What I teach you now, will demonstrate the excess baggage we bring along with us, into relationships, and how this affects our lives and ALL of our relationships.

      Here are some of the things I will delve into in detail:

      The differences in companionship versus communion: To many, this might fall under the guise of splitting hairs, or possibly a semantical debate but let me assure you it is not.

      How our psyches are both synergistic as well as antagonistic to the opposite gender: What is it about us that causes us to fight with the opposite sex while at the same time be drawn to each other so strongly?

      How the human mind was not created to have multiple relationships. What happens to a person's psyche when the relationship fails and he/she moves on?

      How do we fall in love, and is it really love? This is the whole crux of the matter. Are we making mistakes or fooling ourselves into believing we are in love. No one ever teaches us about this. Do we have to stumble about in and out of relationships to finally get it right?

      Why is it so hard to meet people and how do we begin a relationship? Many of you do not have a clue about what attracts the opposite sex to you. Many of you are clueless of what is expected of you in a relationship. Conduct is important...we need to talk!

      Why do we feel a need to be something we are not, and live within a façade knowing full well that eventually we will be found out and the relationship will fail?

      Is the role of sex important in holding a relationship together? Casual sex has become commonplace and the social mores against this practice have fallen by the wayside. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

      What part of you do you give over to the other person in a relationship? Many of you will sit back and think about this one. Is it possible to give up a part of yourself yet keeping your own identity?

      How important is romance in a relationship and does each gender view romance differently? This part of my instruction will astound you.

      Why is the opposite gender so demanding in a relationship? They want too much...or do they? Without a doubt, in numerous counseling sessions, this is one of the most often cited reasons for broken relationships.

      Therefore, as you can see, we have quite a task set before us. This thing, called love, will not go away. We need to make peace with ourselves, regarding love, or be destined to live a life full of broken, meaningless relationships. Beginning with Regina Marshall, all of the above were lessons waiting for me to learn. Some were hard, but they were learned. Actually, kissing is not all that bad. Who knew? I hope Regina reads this course! So, hold onto your egos people...let us begin!

      NOTE: In marketing, every ad executive on the planet wants you to fall in love with their product/service. However, remember the things I have taught you so far; their type of love is really lust because they want you to consume whatever it is they are selling. Consumables always need to replenishing, hence LUST, and they want repeat buyers. Is it possible to love a product/service? No, remember love is defined as sacrifice and to love one must become with whatever is being loved. This is not possible with an inanimate object but, yes, you can become infatuated with a product/service but the mind views this infatuation differently than it views gender love."

      We are all in this together, alone.

      The above quotation will confuse most people reading it. What could I possibly mean by using this quotation? How can people be together and alone at the same time? They are mutually exclusive terms, are they not? Ask someone experiencing a bad marriage, or relationship, or even divorce for the first time, and he/she will know exactly what I mean. Many people suffer relationships, and even marriages, where they are together physically, but very much apart and alone in love. The poets say that the heart is a lonely hunter. Can this be true? Many people view their existence in lonely terms ( remember what I taught you - loneliness is not being without someone; loneliness is being without love) . Whatever mental, or physical, traumas they have experienced in their life, tend to trigger inappropriate behavioral responses because their thought life has become polluted.

      This part of my instruction has been written

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