365 Things Every New Mom Should Know: A Daily Guide to Loving and Nurturing Your Child

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. The NIV and New International Version trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society.

Verses marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible, Copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Verses marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright ©1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Verses marked AMP are taken from The Amplified Bible, Old Testament, Copyright © 1965 and 1987 by The Zondervan Corporation, and from The Amplified New Testament, Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Cover by e210, Eagan, Minnesota

Cover photos © Shutterstock; iStockphoto

Parents, please note: You are advised to consult with your pediatrician or other medical practitioner before implementing the suggestions that follow. Neither the author nor the publisher assumes any liability for possible adverse consequences as a result of the information contained herein.

365 THINGS EVERY NEW MOM SHOULD KNOW

Copyright © 2002 by Linda Danis

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-2382-8 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-4726-8 (eBook)

The Library of Congress has cataloged the edition as follows:

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Danis, Linda, 1962–

365 things every new mom should know / Linda Danis.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-0-7369-0923-5

1. Motherhood. 2. Mother and child. 3. Child rearing. I. Title: Three hundred sixty five things every new mom should know. II. Title.

HQ759.D2635 2002

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

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To my husband, Dave,

and my children, Lisa, J.J., Brian, and Kevin.

You are my greatest joy and my greatest treasure!

Acknowledgments

To my children, Lisa, J.J., Brian, and Kevin: God has blessed me with the four best children a mother could ever hope for. You are truly His most special gifts to me.

To my husband, Dave: This book never could have been written without your help, support, and encouragement. You are the best! I love you.

To my parents, Barbara and Charlie Reynolds: Thank you for the solid foundation you gave me in a secure and loving home. Thanks also for being such devoted grandparents.

To Melinda Blake, Claire Humphrey, Steve Kay, and Jenny Lyons: Thank you for reading through this manuscript and offering me feedback, input, and encouragement.

To all my mom friends whom I have met through playgroups, school, church, and the neighborhood: I have learned something from each of you as we have come alongside each other on this journey of motherhood.

To Kim Moore: Thank you for your valuable editing skills, insight, and encouragement. It was a delight to work with you.

To Bob Hawkins, Sr., Carolyn McCready, LaRae Weikert, Barb Sherrill, Betty Fletcher, and all the others at Harvest House: Thank you for believing in this book and making it a reality.

To my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ: Thank You for giving me the wisdom, strength, and patience to help me be the mother You want me to be. Please take this book and use it for Your glory!

Contents

Acknowledgments

Mother to Mother

The First Three Months ~ A Bundle of Joy

An Incredible Love

Children Are Gifts

The Postpartum Blues

The Perfect Mother

A Relationship with God

The Most Important Job

Take Care of Your Body

Loving Your Husband

Talking with God

Motherhood Is a Ministry

Looking Good!

Managing Your Home

Good Friends

The Second Three Months ~ A Bundle of Smiles

A Cheerful Disposition

Making Time for God

The Love of a Grandparent

Cherish the Moment

Oh, Those Endless Chores

The Sounds of Laughter

Take Time for Yourself

I Love Being a Mom!

Creating Memories

Have Realistic Expectations

Raising Your Children to Know God

No Comparisons Allowed

Getting Organized

The Third Three Months ~ A Bundle of Baby Babbling

Loving Your Baby

Leave Your Worries Behind

Nurture Your Marriage Relationship

Depending Solely on God

Think Positively

Praying for Your Children

Managing Your Time

Learning from Our Mistakes

Practicing Hospitality

Teach Your Children

Overwhelmed and Exhausted

Character Development

Creating the Atmosphere

The Fourth Three Months ~ A Bundle of Energy

Determining Your Priorities

Living in Contentment

The Moral Training of Our Children

Spending Time in God’s Word

Lead by Your Example

Enjoy Your Child’s World

The Need to Discipline

Learning to Be a Better Mom

Grow in Your Relationship with the Lord

Brothers and Sisters

How to Discipline Your Child

Use Your Time Wisely

Our Children Change Us for the Better

May the Lord Bless You

Other Harvest House Reading

Mother to Mother

Congratulations on your new baby. I am so excited for you! You probably feel a mixture of awe, anxiety, and excitement for this little person, this miracle, this gift given to you by God. What a special time of life you are entering!

In the pages ahead you will find encouragement, practical tips, and spiritual insight on a daily basis to help you become the mother you always hoped to be. This book is filled with the nuts and bolts of parenting. Games, songs, activities, and advice will help you nurture your baby’s physical, social, intellectual, and emotional development as well as encourage your child’s spiritual and moral growth. All of these interactive activities are easy to do and require only a few minutes of time.

At the end of each week there is a devotion that will nurture you as a mom. So many changes are happening in your life right now that it can be a bit overwhelming. These reflections will help guide you down the path of motherhood, giving you perspective, encouragement, and godly counsel. They will help you grow in your faith as you depend more on God to meet the new challenges of parenting. And they will point you toward God as the source of all patience, strength, and wisdom.

I began writing this book when my fourth child was born so I would know exactly what a new mother was experiencing and would need to know. I pray that it will give you the confidence and skills necessary to become an effective, godly mother who enjoys and cherishes her new role.

This book isn’t meant to be read all at once, but instead should be used as a daily companion to guide you through your baby’s first year, one day at a time. You might find it handy to keep it on your nightstand or by the changing table. My goal is to make sure you have just the information you need when you need it. It’s my hope that reading this book will be like receiving a daily phone call from a good friend who can offer you advice and helpful insight gleaned from twelve years experience as a mother of four.

Whether this is your first child, and you don’t know what to expect, or your fourth child, and you’re too busy to read up on what you should be doing and need some fresh ideas, you will benefit from 365 Things Every New Mom Should Know. The first year of a baby’s life is an exciting time of new discoveries, phenomenal brain growth, and the beginning of an intense love affair between mother and child. This book will help you lay a foundation of love, trust, and closeness for your baby that will last a lifetime.

Warmly,

Linda Danis

The First Three Months

A Bundle of Joy

My child, you hold the whole of my heart in your small hands.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Week 1

Day 1

After all these long months, your precious little baby has finally arrived. The child you have longed for is here to hold, to look at, and to touch. Your baby will look up at you and recognize your familiar voices. You are the ones he has been longing to meet—his mommy and daddy! Get to know your sweet little baby—hold him, rock him, smell his skin, gaze at him, marvel at his tiny fists, caress him. Treasure this awesome miracle!

Day 2

On the day you bring your baby home for the first time, have everyone in your family place their hands on her and pray for her. This will be a precious moment for your family to share together as you welcome her into your family and give thanks to God for this wonderful gift!

Day 3

If you have older children who want to hold their new sibling, use a nursing donut pillow to help them support your baby’s head. Have your child sit all the way back on the couch. Place the semicircle nursing pillow around his waist. Set your baby on the pillow with his bottom wedged in between your older child’s tummy and the pillow. Rest your baby’s head on your older child’s arm that is resting on the pillow. Even if your child lets go of the baby, his head will still be secure on the pillow. Of course, you should always be sitting right next to your new baby, monitoring his safety. This also works for young visitors, but I would suggest waiting a week or two before letting a nonfamily-member child hold your baby.

Day 4

Despite what all the books may say, most women experience some soreness (or a lot of soreness!) in the first weeks of nursing. Try using your Lamaze breathing when your baby latches onto your breast. If your nipples are cracked or blistered, blot them dry with a cotton diaper after you have finished nursing. Saliva has enzymes that can irritate sore nipples. After you have dried the saliva off, express a little milk and rub it on your nipples. Let them air dry. Also, do not look down at your baby the entire time you nurse. This position can strain your neck and cause tension headaches. If you can persevere through the first two weeks of nursing, things will get better.

Day 5

Sometimes as a new parent it’s hard to tell whether or not you should call your pediatrician. If you are reluctant to call your doctor in the middle of the night, you can usually call the nursery at the hospital where you gave birth. The nurses are awake and can advise you as to whether you should call your doctor right away or if it can wait until the morning. Do not wait if your baby has a fever higher than 99.9 degrees rectally (this is the most accurate way to take your baby’s temperature). Call your doctor immediately.

Day 6

Drink water every time you nurse to stay hydrated and to maintain your milk supply. Always keep a water bottle close at hand. It is a good idea to set up a nursing station wherever you will be nursing the most. Have everything you need right at hand—a water bottle, a burp cloth, a nursing pillow, a book or magazine to read, and nursing pads.

Day 7

When your baby startles while lying on her back (the Moro reflex), gently but firmly hold her hands together close to her chest to calm her and make her feel more secure. Say, It’s okay, sweetheart. Mommy will help you. This reflex will disappear by four months.

1

Reflections on the Week

I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.

1 SAMUEL 1:27

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.

JEREMIAH 1:5

An Incredible Love

You have had your baby only one short week and yet you can hardly remember what life was like without him. You prepared for months for his arrival—read books, set up the nursery, went to prenatal classes—yet nothing could prepare you for the overwhelming love you feel for this child. There are no words quite powerful enough to describe the emotions you feel.

Then the impossible happened; each day you grew to love him more. The sheer magnitude of love takes your breath away. Can there be anything more wonderful than when he gazes into your eyes, when you feel his small body curled up in your arms, when you feel his warm breath on your cheek, when his little fingers wrap tightly around yours? Your heart is ready to burst with this new miracle in your life.

It doesn’t matter if this is your first or fifth child, the profound love you feel for your new baby never changes. I remember during my second pregnancy, I secretly worried that I might not love this new baby as much as my first. How could I ever love another child as much as I loved her? But the moment I held my new baby, I knew immediately I had worried